A Gift Worth Preserving and Appreciating

Her Brothers

8 We have a little sister,
    and she has no breasts.
What shall we do for our sister
    on the day when she is spoken for?
9 If she is a wall,
    we will build on her a battlement of silver,
but if she is a door,
    we will enclose her with boards of cedar.

She

10 I was a wall,
    and my breasts were like towers;
then I was in his eyes
    as one who finds peace.

11 Solomon had a vineyard at Baal-hamon;
    he let out the vineyard to keepers;
    each one was to bring for its fruit a thousand pieces of silver.
12 My vineyard, my very own, is before me;
    you, O Solomon, may have the thousand,
    and the keepers of the fruit two hundred.

He

13 O you who dwell in the gardens,
    with companions listening for your voice;
    let me hear it.

She

14 Make haste, my beloved,
    and be like a gazelle
or a young stag
    on the mountains of spices. – Song of Solomon 8:8-14 ESV

In these closing verses of the poem, there appears what must be the recollections of the woman’s brothers. Long before she was old enough to marry, they were watching over her sexual purity. When she was at an age “too young to have breasts” (Song of Solomon 8:8 NLT), they vowed to do everything in their power to protect her virginity so that she could present herself pure and undefiled to her husband on their wedding night. These loving brothers had agreed to serve as guardians of her purity.

If their young sister proved to have self-discipline and the ability to reject the impure advances of immoral men, they would provide her with an extra measure of protection.

If she is a virgin, like a wall,
    we will protect her with a silver tower. – Song of Solomon 8:9 NLT

The image is that of a battlement or protective wall. If their sister is willing to take all the proper measures to preserve her virginity, the brothers will assist her by acting as a watch tower.

“…if she has kept herself pure under their protective watch, they ‘will build on her a battlement of silver;’ that is, they will reward her virginity with their full blessing and support (‘silver’ perhaps referring to a generous dowry to be given to her husband). They will honor, celebrate, and adorn her self-protection with military splendor. She has fought the good right, and thus she shall be rewarded for her victory.” – Douglass Sean O‘Donnell – Song of Solomon: An Invitation to Intimacy

But what if their sister proved to be prone to promiscuity? Upon reaching puberty, she might decide to give in to the advances of young men who desired to rob her of her purity. In that case, the brothers would up their game and increase their vigilance.

But if she is promiscuous, like a swinging door,
    we will block her door with a cedar bar. – Song of Solomon 8:9 NLT

If she was incapable of controlling her sexual urges, the brothers would act as “guardians of the gate.” While she might not fully understand the value of her chastity, they did and were willing to protect it at all costs. It is likely that a few of her brothers were married men and understood the sanctity of the marriage bed. They had been fortunate to marry young women who had preserved their purity for their wedding night and they wanted that same joyful experience for their sister and her future husband.

It is unclear why the father is never mentioned in these verses, but it could be that he was deceased or simply unwilling to perform his parental duties. Whatever the case, the young woman was blessed to have brothers who took up the mantle of responsibility and served as her loving wall of security.

The efforts of the brothers proved to be effective because the young woman confesses, “I was a virgin, like a wall” (Song of Solomon 8:10 NLT). As an adolescent young girl, she had maintained her purity like a wall – with the loving assistance of her brothers. As a result, she was able to present herself to her husband as pure and undefiled on their wedding night.

…now my breasts are like towers.
When my lover looks at me,
    he is delighted with what he sees. – Song of Solomon 8:10 NLT

In verses 11-12, the former adolescent girl provides a powerful defense for protecting one’s virginity. She describes her purity as a valuable vineyard that one must protect and preserve. It is not for sale to the highest bidder. To drive home her point, she compares her “vineyard” with one owned by Solomon the king. Due to his great wealth, he possessed many vast estates and vineyards. He describes the extensive nature of his land holdings and material possessions in the Book of Ecclesiastes.

I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. I made myself pools from which to water the forest of growing trees. I bought male and female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house. I had also great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces. I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man. – Ecclesiastes 2:4-8 ESV

He readily confessed his unbridled love affair with self-gratification.

…whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure… – Ecclesiastes 2:10 ESV

But his wife pointed out that much of what Solomon possessed was not his to enjoy. Even his vineyards were nothing more than income-producing properties.

Solomon has a vineyard at Baal-hamon,
    which he leases out to tenant farmers.
Each of them pays a thousand pieces of silver
    for harvesting its fruit. – Song of Solomon 8:11 NLT

He was paid by others for the use of his vineyard. In a sense, it no longer belonged to him. These men had bought the rights to enjoy the benefits of its fruit. Solomon could count his money, but he couldn’t eat the grapes or enjoy the wine they produced.

Yet, his wife points out that her “vineyard” was hers to give because she had refused to sell it off for temporary pleasure or profit. Because she had walled out her virginity, she had been able to give it to Solomon on their wedding night – at no cost to him. It had been a gift of priceless value, one that even the wealthy and pleasure-obsessed king could never have afforded.

Solomon had been completely unaware of the diligent care with which his wife’s brothers had protected her. He had been oblivious to the hard work they had put in to preserve this “vineyard” of vast worth and unparalleled beauty. But now, he was grateful that they had put in the effort.

In the closing lines of this poem, Solomon and his wife revisit the early days of their relationship. They reminisce about those carefree, love-obsessed moments when their marriage began. It is impossible to know the ages of these two when the poem ends, but they are still deeply in love and express the same passionate longings to be together. Solomon expresses his desire to hear his bride’s voice, and she calls out to him with an invitation to join her one more moment of sexual pleasure. Her vineyard is still hers to give and she willingly offers it to the love of her life.

The poem ends, but their love continues. The eight chapters of the Song of Solomon provide a brief glimpse into the relationship between one man and one woman. But their love story is meant to be the experience of each and every one of God’s children. He created marriage to be a blessing to mankind. The marriage bed was meant to be his gift to be shared by a husband and a wife. The poem provides glimpses of the love lives of these two individuals, but it is not comprehensive or complete. The poem closes with no glowing description of how their marriage ends but the reader is left with the impression that their love for one another never diminished.

What makes this poem difficult to understand is the knowledge that Solomon was far from a monogamous and faithful husband. The Book of 1 Kings reveals that by the time his kingdom came to an end, Solomon had amassed a harem of 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3). Not only that, many of these women were pagan princesses who brought their false gods with them. 

God had warned His people to avoid any intermarriage with the people who occupied the land of Canaan. Yet, Solomon had chosen to disobey God’s command.

King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway.… And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord. – 1 Kings 11:1-2, 3 ESV

Did the Shulamite woman become just one among the many? Did Solomon’s deep love for her diminish over time? It is difficult to imagine that Solomon’s sexual attraction for his “beloved” remained strong when he had 999 options from which to choose. But none of this diminishes the message contained in the Song of Solomon. There was a moment when Solomon enjoyed and embraced God’s plan for marriage. But somewhere along the way, he allowed his pursuit of unbridled pleasure to replace his dedication to his bride. This man, who had experienced the joys of his bride’s “vineyard,” had become dissatisfied and distracted by the pleasures of this world. He had allowed a love affair with materialism and vanity-fueled pleasure-seeking to rob him of the joys of the marital relationship.

It’s interesting to note that Solomon included a proverb in his collection that contained the following words of wisdom from a man named Agur.

There are three things that amaze me—
    no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
    how a snake slithers on a rock,
    how a ship navigates the ocean,
    how a man loves a woman. – Proverbs 3018-19 NLT

Solomon had a harem that contained a thousand women, but he still didn’t understand the love between a woman and a man. God had given him to opportunity to glean all the lessons available through a loving relationship with one woman, but Solomon had squandered it. He had been given an invaluable gift from God but had failed to fully appreciate its worth.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The God-Given Gift of Love and Sexuality

She

1 Oh that you were like a brother to me
    who nursed at my mother’s breasts!
If I found you outside, I would kiss you,
    and none would despise me.
2 I would lead you and bring you
    into the house of my mother—
    she who used to teach me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
    the juice of my pomegranate.
3 His left hand is under my head,
    and his right hand embraces me!
4 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
    that you not stir up or awaken love
    until it pleases.

5 Who is that coming up from the wilderness,
    leaning on her beloved?

Under the apple tree I awakened you.
There your mother was in labor with you;
    there she who bore you was in labor.

6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,
    as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
    jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
    the very flame of the Lord.
7 Many waters cannot quench love,
    neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
    all the wealth of his house,
    he would be utterly despised. – Song of Solomon 8:1-7 ESV

As this epic poem begins to wrap up, the rhetoric within it amps up. It seems that the further along in the dialogue we get, the more shocking the language and imagery becomes. But I don’t think this is all for the shock value. These words are penned by two people who are expressing their deep and abiding affection for one another. Nothing is hidden. There are no subjects that are off-limits or taboo. While this book was divinely inspired like all the other books in the canon of Scripture, when Solomon wrote it, he had no idea it would become part of the Bible, the world’s most popular and widely read book of all time.

So, the imagery and language contained within the Song of Solomon have always confused and disturbed its readers. It seems out of place among all the other books of the Bible. Its content is too controversial and even considered X-rated by some. There are those who avoid this book like the plague. Others, in an attempt to resolve its shocking use of sexual imagery and language, have spiritualized its content to the point where it no longer makes much sense. That is not to say there is no underlying spiritual message contained within the pages of the Song of Solomon but that the graphic and sometimes lurid nature of its content should not be dismissed as nothing more than one lengthy metaphor.

Those who approach this book with a puritanical zeal, wishing to reinterpret its language as nothing more than a symbol of God’s love for His chosen people or Christ’s love for His bride, the Church, end up dehumanizing and diminishing its message. In some sense, their attempt to de-sexualize its content ended up devaluing much of its message. It’s amazing that even today, in our highly sexualized culture, this book still comes across as inappropriate and offensive. There is still a sense in which Christians believe that any talk about the human body or sexuality is inappropriate for polite conversation. But the content in this book is difficult to ignore because it confronts our prudish sensibilities and makes us squirm.  All its talk of intimate body parts and passionate love-making makes us uncomfortable.

Yet, the Song of Solomon is as much a part of the canon of Scripture as the Psalms or the four Gospels. It too was “breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16 ESV). So the question becomes, what is this book attempting to teach us? In what ways could it be trying to reprove and correct us? How could its content be used to train us in righteousness? 

The answers to these questions must be found in the prevailing message of the book. It is impossible to completely dismiss the fact that this is a love poem. It is blatantly and sometimes embarrassingly about the love between a man and a woman. But that should not make us uncomfortable. Love is of God because God is love, and the sexual union between one man and one woman was His idea. But like all of God’s good and gracious gifts, this one was irreparably damaged by the entrance of sin into the world. Satan has taken what God intended for good and turned it into a self-seeking, soul-destroying weapon in his battle against humanity.

Jesus stated, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10 NLT). God created man and woman and endowed them with the capacity for procreation, but He also blessed them with the ability to love and enjoy the intimacy and physicality of the sexual relationship. It was not to be some primal act of hormonal urges designed to propagate the species. God equipped Adam and Eve with the physiological and psychological tools they would need to make more of their kind and to enjoy themselves in the process. That is what the Song of Solomon is all about.

Even in Solomon’s day, prudishness reigned supreme. There was certain actions that were inappropriate and deemed unacceptable in public. His love-struck wife makes that painfully clear when she bluntly states, “Oh, I wish you were my brother, who nursed at my mother’s breasts. Then I could kiss you no matter who was watching, and no one would criticize me” (Song of Solomon 8:1 NLT). This woman couldn’t keep her hands off of her husband. Even in public, she had a difficult time controlling her urge to kiss him. Her rather strange-sounding wish for him to be her brother is just her way of venting her frustration. In her culture, it was fully acceptable for a sister to show affection to her male sibling, even in public. But if she dared to display any signs of affection to her husband while others were watching, she would be considered sex-crazed and lacking in discretion.

She goes on to describe her and her “brother” engaging in intimate activities in their childhood home. The language she uses is blunt and highly suggestive, no matter how much you try to couch it in metaphorical terms. She wants everyone to know just how much she loves her husband. Her discussion of public displays of affection may make us uncomfortable but it should also convict us. The longer her marriage lasts, the more intense her love for her husband grows, and she wants to shout their love from the rooftops. She is proud of and pleased with the love of her life.

This is not a woman for whom marital love has run out of steam. Her sexual desire has not diminished over time. Her husband’s aging body has not lost its appeal for her. The passion of her youth has not gone away and she has spent it on someone else. She remains totally committed to her marriage and deeply in love with her husband.

In a world driven by casual sex, no-fault divorce, and short-term commitments, this woman is a breath of fresh air, and her take on love has never been more timely and needed.

For love is as strong as death,
    its jealousy as enduring as the grave.
Love flashes like fire,
    the brightest kind of flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
    nor can rivers drown it. – Song of Solomon 8:6-7 NLT

For some reason, we want to separate love from sex. Even Christians can end up viewing sex as somehow tainted and stained by its close association with our fallen human bodies. This dualistic mindset causes us to view love as some kind of separate and distinct characteristic that operates independently from our physical desires and passions. Ever since the fall, mankind has ended up associating sex with lust rather than love. Instead of seeing the sexual act as a gift from God, we have demonized and devalued it to the point of sacrilege. Human sexuality is a gift from God. To view it as somehow dirty or damaged is to question the goodness of God. True love, which includes the physical intimacy between a man and a woman, is a remarkable gift from our Creator-God. It is not to be despised. It is not to be treated with disdain or disgust. Love, as designed by God in the marriage relationship, is priceless value and cannot be bought or sold.

If a man tried to buy love
    with all his wealth,
    his offer would be utterly scorned. – Song of Solomon 8:7 NLT

But it is to be enjoyed and protected at all costs – for a lifetime.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A Well-Rounded, Fully Satisfying Marriage – For Life

He

1 How beautiful are your feet in sandals,
    O noble daughter!
Your rounded thighs are like jewels,
    the work of a master hand.
2 Your navel is a rounded bowl
    that never lacks mixed wine.
Your belly is a heap of wheat,
    encircled with lilies.
3 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
    twins of a gazelle.
4 Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are pools in Heshbon,
    by the gate of Bath-rabbim.
Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon,
    which looks toward Damascus.
5 Your head crowns you like Carmel,
    and your flowing locks are like purple;
    a king is held captive in the tresses.

6 How beautiful and pleasant you are,
    O loved one, with all your delights!
7 Your stature is like a palm tree,
    and your breasts are like its clusters.
8 I say I will climb the palm tree
    and lay hold of its fruit.
Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
    and the scent of your breath like apples,
9 and your mouth like the best wine.

She

It goes down smoothly for my beloved,
    gliding over lips and teeth.

10 I am my beloved's,
    and his desire is for me.

11 Come, my beloved,
    let us go out into the fields
    and lodge in the villages;
12 let us go out early to the vineyards
    and see whether the vines have budded,
whether the grape blossoms have opened
    and the pomegranates are in bloom.
There I will give you my love.
13 The mandrakes give forth fragrance,
    and beside our doors are all choice fruits,
new as well as old,
    which I have laid up for you, O my beloved. – Song of Solomon 7:1-13 ESV

There is no reference to time in this passage but it would appear that Solomon and his bride have moved beyond the innocent days of marital bliss that surrounded their wedding night into a more substantive relationship in which their attraction for one another has deepened and matured. Their strong sexual desires have not diminished over time but have only grown stronger. They are no less verbose and over-the-top in their descriptions of one another’s bodies but there is a sense in which their words convey a more rich and satisfying love that goes well beyond mere physical attraction.

As he has done before, Solomon waxes eloquently about his wife’s physical attributes, making his way from her feet all the way to the top of her head. While his intimate description of his wife’s body can be a bit off-putting to the reader, it is balanced by his rather strange choice of imagery to convey his point. He describes her belly as “a heap of wheat, encircled with lilies” (Song of Solomon 7:2 ESV). In his eyes, her nose is like “a tower of Lebanon” (Song of Solomon 7:4 ESV). Her breasts are like the clusters of a stately palm tree (Song of Solomon 7:7 ESV).

These lovingly worded descriptions, while well-intentioned and backed by a deep affection for his wife, conjure up an image that only Salvador Dali or Picasso could put on canvas. Frankly, his choice of words paints an appalling rather than appealing image of his beloved. She comes across as some kind of Frankenstein-like monstrosity that is anything but attractive or inviting.

But we know by now that both Solomon and his bride are prone to an overuse of hyperbole and metaphors. He means well and what he says makes all the sense in the world to him. They say love is blind and this just might be an example of that truism. It’s not that Solomon’s wife was unattractive but that he was viewing her through eyes that looked far beneath the surface. He found this woman captivating – both inside and out – and all he can say is, “Oh, how beautiful you are!” (Song of Solomon 7:6 NLT). 

The imagery sugggests intimacy and love-making. He is not only admiring her inner and outer beauty, he is relishing the physical pleasure she brings him. Their relationship is a complete package that satisfies all his longings.

“Whereas the wedding night focused on the purpose of sex as the consummation of marriage, this night focuses on the purpose of sex as the nourishment of marriage… As they fell asleep the last kiss lingered in each other’s minds like the aftertaste of good wine. What an enchanting picture of the sleeping couple!” – S. Craig Glickman, A Song for Lovers

The closing verses of this chapter appear to be from the lips of Solomon’s adoring bride. She has heard his words and is responding with an invitation to join her on a day-trip to the country where they will will enjoy one another’s company. But she tops it off with a not-so-veiled promise of a night of love-making.

Come, my love, let us go out to the fields
    and spend the night among the wildflowers.
Let us get up early and go to the vineyards
    to see if the grapevines have budded,
if the blossoms have opened,
    and if the pomegranates have bloomed.
    There I will give you my love. – Song of Solomon 7:11-12 NLT

This is quite a departure from her earlier refusal to open to him the door to her chamber because she was ready to go to bed. She is now inviting him on an unplanned excursion into the countryside that will feature an unexpected but not undesirable ending.

To a certain degree, this chapter illustrates the concept of keeping the spark alive in a marriage. Spontaneity and surprise can go a long way in maintaining the vibrancy of a relationship that has grown stale or stagnant. A healthy growing marriage requires work and a bit of ingenuity. There is no place for the status quo or business as usual. Predictability and routine have their place but can end up sucking the life out of a relationship. This woman was willing to operate outside the normal boundaries of daily life just to ensure that her husband didn’t lose interest or take her for granted. And that street goes both ways.

The apostle Paul gave couples who were members of the church in Corinth the following advice about sex in marriage:

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations… – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 NLT

Whether we want to admit it or not, sex is a significant part of the marriage relationship, and it doesn’t necessarily diminish over time. Busyness and self-centeredness can force a couple to put their sexual relationship on the back burner, where it can languish for long periods of time. This can lead to resentment, disappointment, anger, hurt, feelings of rejection, and, ultimately, the temptation to seek satisfaction outside the bounds of the marriage.

As Solomon and his wife aged and their marriage matured, they were going to remain diligent and determined to protect the physical dimension of their relationship. Over time, the call to procreate would be replaced with the invitation to appreciate the wonderful nature of human sexuality within the bonds of matrimony. It is a gift from God and is meant to be enjoyed for a lifetime.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Inevitable Bump in the Road

He

1 I came to my garden, my sister, my bride,
    I gathered my myrrh with my spice,
    I ate my honeycomb with my honey,
    I drank my wine with my milk.

God

Eat, friends, drink,
    and be drunk with love!

She

2 I slept, but my heart was awake.
A sound! My beloved is knocking.
“Open to me, my sister, my love,
    my dove, my perfect one,
for my head is wet with dew,
    my locks with the drops of the night.”
3 I had put off my garment;
    how could I put it on?
I had bathed my feet;
    how could I soil them?
4 My beloved put his hand to the latch,
    and my heart was thrilled within me.
5 I arose to open to my beloved,
    and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with liquid myrrh,
    on the handles of the bolt.
6 I opened to my beloved,
    but my beloved had turned and gone.
My soul failed me when he spoke.
I sought him, but found him not;
    I called him, but he gave no answer.
7 The watchmen found me
    as they went about in the city;
they beat me, they bruised me,
    they took away my veil,
    those watchmen of the walls.
8 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
    if you find my beloved,
that you tell him
    I am sick with love. – Song of Solomon 5:1-8 ESV

Having completed their wedding night, the groom declares his joy at having experienced the intimacy of the marriage bed with the love of his life. His words, while poetic and metaphorical in nature, are thinly veiled descriptions of this momentous and memorable occasion. He speaks these words of satisfaction to himself as he reflects on the physical pleasures that accompanied the consecration of their God-ordained union. He is not bragging about his sexual exploits but simply expressing his joyful delight and deep appreciation for all that has taken place.

He describes the gift of his bride’s virginity as a gift received with gratitude, and he makes it clear that it belongs solely to himself. Take note of the number of times he uses the first-person possessive suffix: “my.”

“I came to my garden, my sister, my bride, I gathered my myrrh with my spice, I ate my honeycomb with my honey, I drank my wine with my milk.”

He uses that same word nine times in one verse, making it virtually impossible to miss the message he is sending. His bride belongs to him and him alone. She has given him the most valuable item she possesses, the gift of her body and the commitment of her ongoing fidelity and faithfulness – for life. And he does not take this gift lightly.

We live in an age where sex has become a commodity, bought and sold to the highest bidder, and looked upon as nothing more than a biological interchange between two consenting adults. In our world, sex carries no real value other than the pleasure it might bring to one or both of the participants. But from God’s divine perspective, sex was always intended to be an expression of the union between one man and one woman, and it was always linked to the ordinance of marriage. Yes, it is the sole means by which humanity can reproduce more of its kind, but there has always been more to sex than procreation. It is to be viewed as a gift from God and treated with the utmost respect and sanctity.

Solomon was right to view his wife’s body as his own but his statements of possessiveness do not convey ownership or a sense of control. His wife is not his personal property to be used, abused, or forced to satisfy his sexual fantasies or comply with his every command. Solomon is expressing the same sentiment that Adam did when he saw Eve for the first time.

“This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” – Genesis 2:23 NLT

Adam was fully aware that this hand-crafted gift from God was the byproduct of his own flesh and blood. Eve was a literal part of him.

…the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. – Genesis 2:21-22 NLT

The apostle Paul adds another twist to this remarkable physical relationship between a husband and a wife, declaring that the man must view his wife as a permanent expression of his own personhood. She is to be seen as a vital part of himself and treated with love, honor, dignity, and respect at all times.

…husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. – Ephesians 5:28-29 NLT

The second half of verse 5 has proven to be a conundrum for biblical scholars over the centuries. There has been much debate concerning the speaker behind the words, with some speculating that they are the words of the wedding guests while others attribute them to Solomon as he rejoins the wedding guests after having consummated his marriage. What makes them difficult to understand is the use of the word, “friends,” which is in the plural form. If these are the words of Solomon, to whom is he speaking? And if the wedding guests are the source of these words, why would they be anywhere near the bedroom of Solomon and his bride?

It makes much more sense to view these as the words of God Himself, as He encourages the couple to enjoy the gift He has provided for them and to do so for years to come.

“Oh, lover and beloved, eat and drink! Yes, drink deeply of your love!” – Song of Solomon 5:1b NLT

Solomon’s rapturous recollection of his wedding night is followed by a far less delightful description of the loss of intimacy between the couple. No timeline is given as to when this event took place, but it is clear that something happened between Solomon and his new wife. The joy of their wedding night was interrupted by their first fight.

Solomon’s wife has yet another dream in which she hears the impassioned pleas of her husband begging for her to open the doors to her chamber.

“Open to me, my treasure, my darling,
    my dove, my perfect one.
My head is drenched with dew,
    my hair with the dampness of the night.” – Song of Solomon 5:2 NLT

But rather than comply with his wishes, she offers up excuses.

“I have taken off my robe.
    Should I get dressed again?
I have washed my feet.
    Should I get them soiled?” – Song of Solomon 5:3 NLT

It would appear that she was already in bed and had no desire to accommodate her husband’s calls to let him in. But her refusal to open the door only made Solomon more aggressive in his approach as made repeated attempts to open the door. His persistence made an impact on his wife, softening her heart and creating in her a desire to change her mind and open the door. But when she finally relented and unlocked the door to her chamber, her husband was nowhere to be found; he had given up and walked away.

“I jumped up to open the door for my love,
    and my hands dripped with perfume.
My fingers dripped with lovely myrrh
    as I pulled back the bolt.
I opened to my lover,
    but he was gone!
    My heart sank.” – Song of Solomon 5:5-6 NLT   

She was too late. She had waited too long. Her disinterest had produced disappointment and now she was forced to go on yet another nocturnal search for her missing husband (Song of Solomon 3:1-5). Rebuffed by his wife’s persistent refusal to open her door, Solomon had stalked away, probably in a state of anger and frustration.

This scene is all too familiar to any married couple. How quickly the love and infatuation of the wedding night can turn to disinterest and disappointment. As beautiful and appealing as the sexual aspect of marriage can be, it cannot be the sole source of solidarity. In other words, sex can’t hold a marriage together. There will be times when a couple falls out of love with one another; it is inevitable and unavoidable. Their physical desire will ebb and flow. One will withhold sexual intimacy from the other – sometimes for purely innocent reasons, but other times as a means to cause hurt.

In this case, it appears that the wife was simply tired and “not in the mood.” But rather than lovingly conveying her thoughts, she simply “locked the door” and left her husband to speculate and draw unhealthy conclusions. It is unlikely that he left her chamber that night in a happy state and fully satisfied with her rejection of his advances. All of this could have been avoided by a short and simple conversation, but this young couple had much to learn about marriage. 

Her search did not go well. Not only did she fail to find her husband, but she ended up brutally abused by the night watchmen. Fortunately, this was a dream and none of this took place in real life. But this dark aspect of her dream would seem to indicate that she suffered punishment for her refusal to open the door to her husband. In a sense, she blamed herself for his disappearance and suffered the consequences. 

In her dream, the young wife calls out to her friends, begging them to assist her in the search for her missing husband.

“Make this promise, O women of Jerusalem—
    If you find my lover,
    tell him I am weak with love.” – Song of Solomon 5:8 NLT

She regrets her earlier decision and longs to be reunited with her lover. She has learned a valuable lesson and only wants a second chance to renew her love and affection for the one she earlier rejected. This entire section paints an all too realistic view of the marriage relationship. it is not always easy and during the course of any marriage, the love between a husband and wife will ebb and flow. Sexual attraction will have its highs and lows. Poor communication will be a constant source of conflict.

Solomon and his bride were going to learn that a good marriage requires hard work. True love requires commitment, sacrifice, selflessness, and a desire to put the needs of others ahead of your own. The apostle Paul put it this way: “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT). And while he wasn’t necessarily addressing his words to married couples, they are highly appropriate and applicable.

Solomon and his wife were learning that marriage is a covenant that requires so much more than mere physical attraction. To last a lifetime, a marriage will need the full buy-in and complete commitment of both the husband and the wife. But what makes a successful marriage is not the wholehearted commitment of two dedicated individuals, but the presence of God. He alone can turn a good marriage into a great one and transform two into one.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Awkward Reading But An Awesome Reminder

He

1 Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
    behold, you are beautiful!
Your eyes are doves
    behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
    leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes
    that have come up from the washing,
all of which bear twins,
    and not one among them has lost its young.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet thread,
    and your mouth is lovely.
Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
    behind your veil.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
    built in rows of stone;
on it hang a thousand shields,
    all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
    twins of a gazelle,
    that graze among the lilies.
6 Until the day breathes
    and the shadows flee,
I will go away to the mountain of myrrh
    and the hill of frankincense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my love;
    there is no flaw in you.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride;
    come with me from Lebanon.
Depart from the peak of Amana,
    from the peak of Senir and Hermon,
from the dens of lions,
    from the mountains of leopards.

9 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
    you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes,
    with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
    How much better is your love than wine,
    and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
11 Your lips drip nectar, my bride;
    honey and milk are under your tongue;
    the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 A garden locked is my sister, my bride,
    a spring locked, a fountain sealed.
13 Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates
    with all choicest fruits,
    henna with nard,
14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
    with all trees of frankincense,
myrrh and aloes,
    with all choice spices—
15 a garden fountain, a well of living water,
    and flowing streams from Lebanon.

She

16 Awake, O north wind,
    and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
    let its spices flow.

Let my beloved come to his garden,
    and eat its choicest fruits. – Song of Solomon 4:1-16 ESV

This chapter is filled with so much semantical hyperbole it’s almost difficult to read. Solomon’s attempt to describe his bride’s beauty is so over the top that it borders on the ridiculous and comes across as almost comical. His description of her eyes being like two doves behind a veil is quite a poetic and alluring visual that achieves its objective, but when ventures into characterizing the stunning beauty of her teeth he seems to go a bit too far.

“Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes
    that have come up from the washing,
all of which bear twins,
    and not one among them has lost its young.” – Song of Solomon 4:2 ESV 

His point is well made if not a tad bit overdone. It’s clear that he admires the vivid whiteness and flawless quality of her teeth but his attempt to describe them seems a little overzealous and unnecessary. But then again, it is poetry and these words are written by a man who is completely smitten by the love of his life. As he gazes at her in all her bridal splendor, he isn’t necessarily thinking rationally. It isn’t that his words have left him but that they are coming out in a jumbled cacophony of love-infused rhetoric.

Some scholars believe the context of the poem has moved from the day of the marriage ceremony to the evening in which the marriage would be consummated. This might explain some of Solomon’s over-the-top descriptive flourishes. If this is indeed his wedding night, his verbosity is nothing more than a case of nerves; he is overcome by the intensity and intimacy of the moment. We’ll graciously cut him some slack for his gratuitous use of over-embellished similes and metaphors. He can’t help himself.

It’s obvious to all that Solomon is enthralled by his bride’s stunning beauty. On this momentous night, he can see no wrong in her. Everything about her is beyond perfect - from head to toe. Her dark flowing hair reminds him of a flock of goats slowly descending a hillside in an undulating pattern. At this point in the evening, everything is operating in slow motion for Solomon. His mind is fully engaged in the moment.

The Scriptures declare Solomon to be the wisest man who ever lived.

God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding beyond measure, and breadth of mind like the sand on the seashore, so that Solomon's wisdom surpassed the wisdom of all the people of the east and all the wisdom of Egypt. For he was wiser than all other men… – 1 Kings 4:29-31 ESV

We also know that Solomon was a prolific writer, having authored 3,000 proverbs and 1005 songs (1 King 4:32). But when it came time to record his first impressions of his bride on their wedding night, it was as if Solomon’s writing skills abandoned him. He is stringing words together in a stream of consciousness that flows from his heart but seems to fail to engage with his mind. Whether his bride would have found any of these descriptions to be flattering is difficult to say. But Solomon means each and every one of them.

And as he works his way down from her eyes to her hair, then from her mouth to her neck, things begin to heat up. By the time he reaches her breasts, Solomon’s intensity level has reached a fever pitch. It’s almost as if his physical passions have taken over and his mental faculties have completely disengaged. His descriptions reach the point of no return as he desperately tries to communicate what he is seeing and how it is impacting him. For the reader, this is painfully awkward territory. One almost wants to scream, “Put your pen down, Solomon!”

But the writer in Solomon can’t stop himself from trying to convey his thoughts at that intimate and intensely satisfying moment.

“Your two breasts are like two fawns,
    twins of a gazelle,
    that graze among the lilies.” – Song of Solomon 4:5 ESV

One can only hope that Solomon wrote all this after the fact. Surely these were not the words he spoke to his bride on their wedding night. It becomes almost comical to think about Solomon waxing grandiloquent as he gazed at the naked body of his bride. While intended to be flattering, his words paint a rather bizarre image that is difficult to reconcile with the intimate nature of the moment. Once again, the reader is left to hurry past the sheer awkwardness of Solomon’s passion-induced prose disguised as poetry and, thankfully, he provides a much-needed respite.

In the following verses, Solomon calls his bride to leave behind her past and join him in their new life together.

“Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
    come with me from Lebanon.
Come down from Mount Amana,
    from the peaks of Senir and Hermon,
where the lions have their dens
    and leopards live among the hills.” – Song of Solomon 4:8 NLT

Their wedding night is just the beginning of a grand new adventure in which they will forge a new path as husband and wife. Solomon is clearly excited about the prospect of walking through life with his new bride and her physical beauty certainly makes the prospect of a long and happy marriage that much more attractive. He uses a series of phrases to convey her hold over him.

“You have captured my heart…” – vs 9 (NLT)

“You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes…” – vs 9 (NLT)

“Your love delights me…” – vs 10 (NLT)

“Your love is better than wine…” – vs 10 (NLT)

“Your lips are as sweet as nectar…” – vs 11 (NLT)

“You are my private garden, my treasure…” – vs 12 (NLT)

This man is in love and, as before, he cannot stop himself from expressing that love with a steady flow of rhetorical flourishes that seem excessively overwrought. It’s not that he’s trying too hard but that his love has literally left him without the proper words to express what he is thinking and feeling. This author par excellence has become like a giddy schoolboy trying to pen a love letter to his first junior-high crush. 

And the entire chapter ends with his bride inviting Solomon to stop talking and consummate their marital relationship. It was time to put down the pen and experience life together, with all its God-ordained passions, pleasures, and joys. This was to be a moment neither one of them would soon forget and it perfectly reflects the beauty of the intimate relationship that God had in mind when He created man and woman and placed them in the bounds of the marital union He had designed for them.

This passage, while somewhat difficult to read because of its awkward intimacy, is designed to paint a glowing image of God’s gracious plan for sexuality and marital intimacy. The author of Hebrews provides a stern warning to preserve the sanctity of marriage at all costs.

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. – Hebrews 13:4 NLT

The wedding night of Solomon and his bride was meant to seal the covenant they had made to one another in their wedding ceremony. They were now committed to one another for life – in the eyes of God. And as Jesus so poignantly put it, “They are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6 ESV).

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Great Expectations

6 What is that coming up from the wilderness
    like columns of smoke,
perfumed with myrrh and frankincense,
    with all the fragrant powders of a merchant?
7 Behold, it is the litter of Solomon!
Around it are sixty mighty men,
    some of the mighty men of Israel,
8 all of them wearing swords
    and expert in war,
each with his sword at his thigh,
    against terror by night.
9 King Solomon made himself a carriage
    from the wood of Lebanon.
10 He made its posts of silver,
    its back of gold, its seat of purple;
its interior was inlaid with love
    by the daughters of Jerusalem.
11 Go out, O daughters of Zion,
    and look upon King Solomon,
with the crown with which his mother crowned him
    on the day of his wedding,
    on the day of the gladness of his heart. – Song of Solomon 3:6-11 ESV

In the opening verses of this chapter, the maiden is having a nightmare in which she dreams of going on a fruitless nighttime search for Solomon, her husband-to-be. Her deep desire to be with him has permeated her subconscious mind to the point at which she can’t even get a good night’s sleep. But her disturbing dream has a happy ending that features the two of them reunited and in each other’s arms.

The remaining verses bring the reader back to the real world where the young maiden is seen arriving in style for her wedding day in the royal carriage and accompanied by an honor guard. This isn’t the byproduct of the maiden’s vivid and overactive imagination but it is the real thing. The narrative has fast-forwarded and their long-awaited wedding day has finally arrived, and rather than wandering the streets alone, the maiden is surrounded by pomp and splendor.

The reason this is likely a description of the maiden’s arrival is the word usage in verse six. Someone is inquiring as to the occupant of the elaborate coach arriving in Jerusalem from the wilderness.

“Who is this sweeping in from the wilderness
    like a cloud of smoke?
Who is it, fragrant with myrrh and frankincense
    and every kind of spice?” – Song of Solomon 3:6 NLT

The Hebrew word translated as “this” is in the singular feminine and would not be used if the occupant of the carriage was thought to be Solomon. The text makes it clear that “it is the litter of Solomon” (Song of Solomon 3:7 ESV), but that doesn’t mean he is the one riding inside. The whole scene is painted as a mystery and is meant to provide a contrast to the first five verses of the chapter. The young maiden is no longer alone and desperately searching for Solomon; she has been picked up by a royal escort and is being transported to Jerusalem for her wedding day.

Her fiance has spared no expense, sending his finest coach “perfumed with myrrh and frankincense” (Song of Solomon 3:6 ESV). His coachman are likely decked out in their best uniforms and the silver and gold of the finely crafted carriage have been polished till they glisten in the Judean sun. It is a spectacular scene and the young maiden is sequestered inside the immaculate carriage that Solomon has commissioned for this very special occasion.

The simplicity of the scene portrayed in the opening verses is meant to stand in stark contrast to the opulent pomp and ceremony of Solomon’s wedding day. He has gone to great lengths to impress his bride-to-be with a celebrity-style arrival for her own wedding. This emphasis on image and appearances seems to fit Solomon’s own description of himself in the Book of Ecclesiastes.

I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. I made myself pools from which to water the forest of growing trees. I bought male and female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house. I had also great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces. I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man. – Ecclesiastes 2:4-8 ESV

While Ecclesiastes was probably penned late in Solomon’s life, this love affair with material wealth began early in life. Not long after his ascension to the throne of Israel, he ordered the construction of a grand and glorious Temple for God and a luxurious palace for himself. He went on a building spree, constructing a network of fortifications, storage facilities, and civic buildings all across his kingdom. He also ordered the construction of a one-of-a-kind throne for himself.

The king also made a great ivory throne and overlaid it with the finest gold. The throne had six steps, and the throne had a round top, and on each side of the seat were armrests and two lions standing beside the armrests, while twelve lions stood there, one on each end of a step on the six steps. The like of it was never made in any kingdom. All King Solomon's drinking vessels were of gold, and all the vessels of the House of the Forest of Lebanon were of pure gold. None were of silver; silver was not considered as anything in the days of Solomon. For the king had a fleet of ships of Tarshish at sea with the fleet of Hiram. Once every three years the fleet of ships of Tarshish used to come bringing gold, silver, ivory, apes, and peacocks. – 1 Kings 10:18-22 ESV

The simple young maiden from the Judean wilderness was marrying up. By becoming the wife of the king, she was becoming part of the upper crust of society, and would never want for anything. But her life was about to change in ways she could never imagine. She would be a queen and would be expected to reflect the royal stature of her role – at all times. Her life with Solomon would be under the constant glare of the spotlight. Once the wedding took place, there would be few moments of alone time with her lover. Their marriage would be lived out in the public square for all to see.

But at this moment, riding in style in the royal carriage, the young maiden must have been beside herself with joy. She was blind to any of the potential negatives all this opulence might foreshadow. Her awareness of any red flags was blinded by her love for Solomon and her desire to be his wife. This was her dream come true and she was going to savor every moment of it. At the end of her journey stood her lover, decked out in his royal robes. The young maidens are invited to cast their eyes upon the dashing figure of Solomon as he awaits the arrival of his bride.

Go out, O daughters of Zion,
    and look upon King Solomon,
with the crown with which his mother crowned him
    on the day of his wedding,
    on the day of the gladness of his heart. – Song of Solomon 3:11 ESV

Bathsheba, the mother of Solomon, has placed a crown on Solomon’s head; likely a wreath of garlands intended as a symbol of joy and celebration for this great day. The widow of King David placed a handwoven wreath on the head of her son to commemorate this special day. On this occasion, he was more than a king of a nation, he was the bridegroom preparing to enter into a lifelong covenant with his bride. He would be the king and she would be the queen over a household of faith dedicated to bringing glory and honor to the one true King, God Almighty.

This was indeed a glorious and great day. It was to be the beginning of a wonderful life together. Like any other marriage, this wedding day was filled with joy, hope, and eager anticipation of all the great things that lie in store. But the days ahead would require far more than physical attraction, adolescent adoration, and visions of marital bliss. This young couple was going to need God if they wanted their marriage to thrive and not just survive.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

In It For the Longhaul

She

1 I am a rose of Sharon,
    a lily of the valleys.

He

2 As a lily among brambles,
    so is my love among the young women.

She

3 As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
    so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
    and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
4 He brought me to the banqueting house,
    and his banner over me was love.
5 Sustain me with raisins;
    refresh me with apples,
    for I am sick with love.
6 His left hand is under my head,
    and his right hand embraces me!
7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
    by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
    until it pleases.

8 The voice of my beloved!
    Behold, he comes,
leaping over the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle
    or a young stag.
Behold, there he stands
    behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
    looking through the lattice.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
    and come away,
11 for behold, the winter is past;
    the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth,
    the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
    is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree ripens its figs,
    and the vines are in blossom;
    they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
    and come away.

He

14 O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
    in the crannies of the cliff,
let me see your face,
    let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet,
    and your face is lovely.

She

15 “Catch the foxes for us,
    the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards,
    for our vineyards are in blossom.

16 “My beloved is mine, and I am his;
    he grazes among the lilies.
17 Until the day breathes
    and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle
    or a young stag on cleft mountains.” – Song of Solomon 2:1-17 ESV

In the opening lines of this chapter, the maiden continues to describe herself in terms that are meant to convey her desire for her lover to find her attractive. Earlier in the poem, her self-description seemed to border on self-deprecation, as she pointed out her sun-darkened skin. She appears to have feared that her lack of a porcelain-like complexion would be unattractive to her beloved.

But here, she compares herself to two common flowers of the field, located in a region called the Sharon. When we read, “Rose of Sharon” we tend to think of an expensive rose purchased from the local florist, but this was most likely a commonplace flower of the bulb family, like a crocus, narcissus, iris, or daffodil. They were everywhere in the rich and fertile valley of the Sharon. She isn’t describing herself as being rare and unequaled in one-of-a-kind beauty but as one among many. She is no more unique or attractive than the maidens who appeared earlier in the poem. It is not her stunning beauty that sets her apart but her awareness of her own commonness. She is a simple flower of the field, a lily of the valley. In a sense, she is confessing that girls like her are a dime a dozen.

But her lover refutes her seeming self-deprecation by declaring her to be a “lily among brambles” (Song of Solomon 2:2 ESV). According to him, all the other maidens are no more than thorns and thistles when compared to her beauty. He sees her through the love-smitten eyes of a passionate admirer who has lost his ability to appreciate the beauty of anyone but her. She is anything but a garden-variety flower to him; she is eye-catching and heart-stirringly beautiful beyond compare.

In an attempt to equal his kind and gracious words, the young woman returns the compliment by comparing him to a fruit-bearing tree nestled among the towering trees of the forest. It is unlikely that she is referring to an apple tree, even though that is a common interpretation of the Hebrew word, tapûaḥ. But since apple trees are rare in that region of the Middle East, it is more likely a reference to a lemon or citron tree. Her point seems to be that her lover stands out among the crowd; he is unlike all the others. In a forest of similarly looking and completely fruitless trees, he is a fruitful and refreshing change of pace.

It is difficult to read her descriptions of her lover and not see them as having erotic and sexual overtones.

“I sit in his delightful shade
    and taste his delicious fruit.” – Song of Solomon 2:3 NLT

Her thinly veiled sexual attraction is hard to miss; she finds her lover extremely attractive and desirable. She can barely contain herself but attempts to disguise her hormone-infused urges with metaphorical flourishes designed to send a pointed message that she hopes her beloved understands.

She is so smitten by the love of her life that she describes herself as “sick with love” (Song of Solomon 2:4 ESV). She’s love sick. Her pheromones are firing at a fever pitch and she can hardly constrain herself. Any moments she gets to spend with this man are like heaven on earth. Whether it’s enjoying a meal together or spending intimate moments together when no one else is around, she relishes every opportunity to be in his presence. Enjoying his company is a form of nourishment to her, like consuming delicious fresh fruit. He feeds and fulfills her, and she begs her unmarried friends not to settle for anything less than a faithful and fruitful future husband. Marriage is meant to last forever and that can feel like an unbearable eternity when you fail to choose a mate whose very presence complements and completes you.

As much as she longs to be in the presence and arms of her lover, the maiden reveals how much she enjoys having the roles reversed. In verses 8-9, she paints the picture of her lover seeking out her company.

“Ah, I hear my lover coming!
    He is leaping over the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
My lover is like a swift gazelle
    or a young stag.
Look, there he is behind the wall,
    looking through the window,
    peering into the room.” – Song of Solomon 3:8-9 NLT

Nothing thrills a young girl’s heart more than the thought of being pursued. The fact is, this is a common trait of every human being, male and female. We all desire the love and attention of another, and for this young lady, the prospect of her love interest reciprocating her desire for companionship was highly appealing.

She imagines him coming to her home and begging her to run away with him.

“Rise up, my darling!
    Come away with me, my fair one!
Look, the winter is past,
    and the rains are over and gone.
The flowers are springing up,
    the season of singing birds has come,
    and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.
The fig trees are forming young fruit,
    and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming.
Rise up, my darling!
    Come away with me, my fair one!” – Song of Solomon 2:10-13 NLT

She couldn’t wait for the day when he popped the question and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. That day would be the most spectacular moment of her young life and the start of a mutual journey of love and life that would have no perceivable end.

But in verse 14, we hear from the groom-to-be, who expresses his impression that his future bride is playing hard to get. He accuses her of “hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff” (Song of Solomon 2:14 NLT). It is as if she is playing coy and feigning a reticence to take their relationship to the next level. Each of them has a slightly different take on where they are in their ongoing quest for marital bliss, but they both want the same thing.

They long to take their relationship to the next level, but each of them is coming at it from a slightly different perspective. It seems clear that she is more than just a love-sick young woman who is overly optimistic and unaware of the pitfalls that come with any relationship. That is why she begs her lover to “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love” (Song of Solomon 2:15 NLT). She is painfully aware that there are a host of issues that could spell doom for their relationship if they are left unchecked and unattended to. These seemingly insignificant “little foxes” have a way of doing irreparable damage if allowed to run amuck in the “vineyard” of a relationship. So, she begs her lover to do whatever it takes to remove these pests before it is too late. A healthy long-term marriage must be planted in a vineyard where fruitfulness is possible because steps have been taken to eliminate any unnecessary threats and unwanted interlopers who might do harm to its future sustainability and viability.

In verses 16-17, the maiden returns to her original analogy of her as a lily in the field. She invites her lover to seek her among all the other lilies of the field, once again recognizing her uniqueness and determining to make her his own. He grazes among the lilies but he only has eyes for her. As the two of them continue their ongoing relationship, she encourages him to remain faithful and committed to their future together. Their journey has just begun, but she is thoroughly convinced that they have a long and prosperous future ahead of them.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Love on God’s Terms

The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s. – Song of Solomon 1:1 ESV

This is probably one of the most hotly debated books in the Bible. The interpretations of its meaning are countless and questions regarding its purpose are endless. Some see it as an allegory that carries deeper spiritual meaning. Others read it as an actual autobiographical story featuring events from the life of Solomon himself.

There is little debate that it is a love poem. That is clear from a cursory reading of its eight short chapters. But why is it in the Bible? If all Scripture is profitable for teaching, reproof, and training in righteousness, why is this book included? What is it attempting to teach us? As I read through it this morning I was struck by how many times it caused me to reflect on the love of God. It seems to reveal the kind of love God has for His people and that He longs for them to have for Him. It is the same kind of love that Christ has for His bride, the Church, and that He desires to receive in return. Finally, it is the kind of love that any husband should feel for his wife and she willingly returns to Him.

It is indeed a book about love. Whether it is about real people and real events, I can't say. But it is about love; a faithful, eyes-for-you-only kind of love that God illustrates in His love for those He calls His own. It is the kind of love that caused Christ to take on human flesh and die a sinner’s death in our place on the cross. This kind of love is selfless and sacrificial. It is passionate and powerful. It is intimate and intense. I can't help but read this book and be reminded of the Father's love for me. I am blown away by how Christ expresses His love for me each and every day. God the Father and God the Son call out to me daily, longing to have a love relationship with me that is two-way, not one-way. But so often I am more than willing to accept their love but refuse to return it.

The Song of Solomon shows love that is given and received. Neither character can live without the other. There is a level of infatuation in the poem that will leave the reader a bit embarrassed. The dialogue between the two anonymous lovers are syrupy and saccharine. They almost feel a little bit over the top and uncomfortable to read – like you're looking at someone's private love letters. But the love expressed here is genuine and sincere. It is intimate and personal. There is a sense of infatuation and focused quality behind the love expressed in these eight chapters that reflect the way we are loved by God and how we should return that love to Him.

Yet, the book doesn’t mention the name of God a single time. His name is nowhere to be found but His presence is unmistakingly felt as one considers the deep and abiding nature of the love described on the book’s pages.

“God’s name is absent from the entire setting. But who would deny that his presence is strongly felt? From whom come such purity and passion? Whose creative touch can ignite hearts and bodies with such a capacity to bring unsullied delight to another? Who kindled the senses that savor every sight, touch, scent, taste, and sound of a loved one? Whose very character is comprised of the love that is the central subject of the Song? None of this is to allegorize either the minute details or the main sense of the book. It is about human love at its best. But behind it, above it, and through it, the Song, as part of the divinely ordered repertoire of Scripture, is a paean of praise to the Lord of creation who makes possible such exquisite love and to the Lord of redemption who demonstrated love’s fullness on a cross.” – David A. Hubbard, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon

In terms of the authorship of the book, the debate has been long and intense and continues to this day. Due to the number of times Solomon’s name is mentioned in the poem, many have concluded that he is its author. Others have ruled him out because of his well-chronicled practice of polygamy. The Book of 1 Kings details Solomon’s over-the-top love affair with the opposite sex by revealing that at one time his harem consisted of 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3). This unbridled predilection for the opposite sex would end up driving a wedge between Solomon and his God because it was in direct violation of the will of God. This prohibition against kings accumulating wives for themselves had been given long before Israel had a king.

The king must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the LORD. – Deuteronomy 17:17 NLT

Yet, Solomon ignored God’s command, in a big way. The Book of 1 Kings elaborates on the egregious nature of Solomon’s disobedience.

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, “You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love. He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. So Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and did not wholly follow the Lord, as David his father had done. – 1 Kings 11:1-6 ESV

Some scholars argue that Solomon could have written this poem earlier in his life, long before his penchant for accumulating wives got the better of him. According to the Book of Ecclesiastes, also attributed to Solomon, the latter years of his life were marked by an obsessive-compulsive need to hoard.

I bought male and female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house. I had also great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces. I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man. – Ecclesiastes 2:7-8 ESV

This less-than-flattering self-disclosure has led many scholars to reject Solomon as the author of the Book of the Song Solomon. Others get around Solomon’s sexual indiscretions by assuming he wrote this epic poem earlier in life, long before old age and affluence damaged his reasoning and tarnished his reputation.

While the debate about authorship continues unabated, another unresolved conflict concerns how this book should be interpreted. Over the years, a majority of commentators and biblical scholars have argued that its content is meant to be read allegorically. Yet, there is nothing in the book’s content that suggests this is the appropriate interpretative model. It is presented as a series of love poems between Solomon and a woman who is identified as Shulamite.

Return, return, O Shulammite,
    return, return, that we may look upon you.

Why should you look upon the Shulammite,
    as upon a dance before two armies? – Song of Solomon 6:13 ESV

The term “Shulamite” is believed to be derived from the Hebrew word, shulammit, which can be translated as “woman of Jerusalem.” Once again, there has been much debate as to the exact identity of this woman, but no one can deny that she plays a significant role in the poem.

It seems best to take a literal approach when interpreting this book, treating the characters and the content as historical and not figurative. This approach does not eliminate the typological nature of the book. The two individuals whose deep love for one another is on display throughout the book are intended to illustrate something far greater than the relationship between two infatuated lovers. Over the years, scholars have speculated that the content of this book is meant to illustrate the love of Yahweh for the people of Israel. Others have determined that the two characters represent Jesus and His bride, the Church.

“The shepherd is a picture of Christ, that great Shepherd of the sheep. The Shulamite mirrors the Church or the individual believer devoted to Him. Solomon represents the prince of this world armed with all worldly pomp, power, and magnificence. The court women are those who admire him and who look askance at those who turn their backs upon the world, its system, and all that it has to offer in favor of an absent and, to them, unknown Beloved.” – John Phillips, Exploring the Song of Solomon

The one thing that is not up for debate is that this is a love story. The words exchanged between the two characters are intimate and unabashedly intense. Reading the dialogue can feel awkward and intrusive. It is like listening in on a private phone call between a husband and his wife. But the unashamed openness of the two lovers is meant to convey a degree of love and desire that borders on the obsessive. Their shockingly candid expressions of love are intended to make the reader blush but are also meant to stir up a desire to experience such unbridled desire for another.

The intimate language found in this book will be offputting to some. They will find it too strong and inappropriate for consumption. But if God divinely inspired its content, then this book is also “profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” (2 Timothy:16 ESV). May we read it with eyes wide open and our hearts prepared to hear what God has to teach about love – love between a woman and a man, and love between a God and His people.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Personal Holiness at All Costs and at All Times

1 And the Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the priests, the sons of Aaron, and say to them, No one shall make himself unclean for the dead among his people, 2 except for his closest relatives, his mother, his father, his son, his daughter, his brother, 3 or his virgin sister (who is near to him because she has had no husband; for her he may make himself unclean). 4 He shall not make himself unclean as a husband among his people and so profane himself. 5 They shall not make bald patches on their heads, nor shave off the edges of their beards, nor make any cuts on their body. 6 They shall be holy to their God and not profane the name of their God. For they offer the Lord's food offerings, the bread of their God; therefore they shall be holy. 7 They shall not marry a prostitute or a woman who has been defiled, neither shall they marry a woman divorced from her husband, for the priest is holy to his God. 8 You shall sanctify him, for he offers the bread of your God. He shall be holy to you, for I, the Lord, who sanctify you, am holy. 9 And the daughter of any priest, if she profanes herself by whoring, profanes her father; she shall be burned with fire.

10 “The priest who is chief among his brothers, on whose head the anointing oil is poured and who has been consecrated to wear the garments, shall not let the hair of his head hang loose nor tear his clothes. 11 He shall not go in to any dead bodies nor make himself unclean, even for his father or for his mother. 12 He shall not go out of the sanctuary, lest he profane the sanctuary of his God, for the consecration of the anointing oil of his God is on him: I am the Lord. 13 And he shall take a wife in her virginity. 14 A widow, or a divorced woman, or a woman who has been defiled, or a prostitute, these he shall not marry. But he shall take as his wife a virgin of his own people, 15 that he may not profane his offspring among his people, for I am the Lord who sanctifies him.” – Leviticus 21:1-15 ESV

A life of holiness was a non-negotiable requirement for all of God’s people but it was especially important for those men who served as priests and intermediaries between Yahweh and His chosen people. So beginning in chapter 21 and running all the way through Leviticus 22:16, God turns His attention to the priesthood. Aaron and his sons had been given the responsibility of ministering within God’s house, the Tabernacle, where He had promised that His holy presence would reside. Their vital role within the sacrificial system established by God required them to live up to a more stringent set of standards. God had given them the responsibility of serving as spiritual instructors for His people.

“You must distinguish between what is sacred and what is common, between what is ceremonially unclean and what is clean. And you must teach the Israelites all the decrees that the Lord has given them through Moses.” – Leviticus 10:10-11 NLT

And they were to teach by example as well as by word. And it’s interesting to note that when Jesus was describing the religious teachers of His day, He basically recommended that His disciples do as they say, but not as they do.

“The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach.” – Matthew 23:2-3 NLT

There was no room for hypocrisy and duplicity in the life of God’s priestly leaders. Their lives belonged to God and they served on His behalf and at His behest. Their role as priests was not a job, but a calling. Yawheh had set apart Aaron, his sons, and the rest of the men of the tribe of Levi, and given them the mission of serving as His ministers and as emissaries to the rest of the nation of Israel.

God wanted His priests to understand and embrace the importance of their calling, so He provided them with a diverse range of regulations and rulings that concerned matters that might disqualify them for service. Anything that could result in their ceremonial defilement was to be avoided at all costs. These men were to take special precautions to maintain their purity and preserve their holiness. Their intimate connection with the Tabernacle required that they pay special attention to every area of their daily lives. Most of these commands have to do with their “off-duty” hours when they were not serving in their official capacity as priests. But even when they weren’t “on the clock,” they were to remain vigilant about their spiritual purity.

Death was a daily reality among the Israelites. The elderly passed away from natural causes. Others died from injuries or accidents. Disease and illness took their toll on some. But in all of this, the priests were never to allow themselves to become defiled by coming into contact with a dead body. Should this happen, they would become ceremonially unclean and unfit for service. But God gave a special exemption in terms of family members.

“The only exceptions are his closest relatives—his mother or father, son or daughter, brother, or his virgin sister who depends on him because she has no husband.” – Leviticus 21:2-3 NLT

In all other cases, the priests were to avoid any and all contact with the dead. And not only that, the priests were prohibited from imitating the mourning rituals of the pagan religions of the Canaanites. God strictly forbade His priests from shaving their heads, trimming their beards, or cutting their bodies. God had already addressed these issues back in chapter 19.

“Do not trim off the hair on your temples or trim your beards. Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.” – Leviticus 19:27-28 NLT

None of the Israelites were to practice the occult-like rituals of the Canaanites. But these kinds of practices were especially off-limits for the priests of Yahweh, and rightfully so.

“Not only did such rituals show the priest mourning the dad, but they involved mutilation of the body and possibly suggested pagan veneration of the dead.” – Allen P. Ross, Holiness to the Lord: A Guide to the Exposition of the Book of Leviticus

God demanded that Moses and the people of Israel treat the priests as holy “because they offer up food to your God. You must consider them holy because I, the Lord, am holy, and I make you holy” (Leviticus 21:8 NLT). In a sense, it behooved the people of Israel to help protect the purity of the priesthood because of their vital role in the sacrificial system. Unholy priests would be of no help when it came to seeking atonement from God. So, it was incumbent upon all the people to assist the priests in their pursuit of holiness.

That’s why God addressed the subject of priests and marriage. They were strictly prohibited from marrying women who were prostitutes or divorced. To do so would result in their defilement and disqualification for priestly service. And God considered prostitution so dangerous to priestly purity that He actually addressed what to do if a daughter of a priest was found to be a prostitute.

“…the daughter of any priest, if she profanes herself by whoring, profanes her father; she shall be burned with fire.” – Leviticus 21:9 ESV

This was serious business to God. The daughter’s willful actions negatively impacted her father’s holiness thereby invalidating him from priestly service to the Lord, and the only way to remedy the problem was to remove the impurity – permanently. Most likely, the woman was to be executed, then her body was to be burned. This would serve to purify the father from defilement and restore his ability to perform his role as a priest.

Verses 10-15 address the high priest in particular. As the highest-ranking member of the priesthood, Aaron was placed under even stricter requirements. When it came to mourning the death of a loved one, he was not allowed to “leave his hair uncombed or tear his clothing” (Leviticus 21:10 NLT). As the spiritual leader of God’s people, he was not permitted the luxury of mourning like everyone else. He represented God at all times. So, God denied him the right to mourn like everyone else. He was not allowed to go anywhere near a dead body, even if it belonged to his own father or mother. And God gave the reason for this harsh-sounding restriction.

“He must not defile the sanctuary of his God by leaving it to attend to a dead person, for he has been made holy by the anointing oil of his God. I am the Lord.” – Leviticus 21:12 NLT

Even the death of a parent was not to distract the high priest from his calling as the mediator between God and His people. God had set Him apart for His service alone. Others would have to mourn the dead because the high priest had been set apart to worship the living God. And this principle is echoed by the words of Jesus found in the gospel of Matthew. One day, Jesus was approached by a young man who expressed the desire to be His disciple but he gave the excuse, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father” (Matthew 8:21 NLT). But Jesus gave what sounded like a harsh and compassionless response. 

And Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead.” – Matthew 8:22 NLT

Some commentators believe the issue was that the young man was postponing his commitment and using the future death of his father as an excuse. They speculate that the death of the young man’s father was not imminent but only inevitable. There was no funeral about to take place. The young man was simply hoping to delay his commitment to a later date. But it makes more sense to see this passage through the lens of Leviticus 21. Jesus was calling on this man to make serving God his highest priority, placing greater value on following the Lord of life than in mourning the dead.

Even when it came to marriage, the high priest had to answer to his higher calling. God prohibited Aaron and his successors from marrying a woman who was a widow, divorced, or a known prostitute. And whoever the high priest ended up marrying was required to be “a virgin from his own clan” (Leviticus 21:14 NLT). The wife of the high priest was expected to help maintain his holiness and provide him with future offspring who might serve in his place upon his death. Purity was essential. Holiness was critical. Because the high priest and his associates represented God at all times. Of all people within the camp of Israel, they were expected to pursue and maintain personal holiness at all costs and at all times.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Self-Destructive Nature of Self-Determination

10 “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. 11 If a man lies with his father’s wife, he has uncovered his father’s nakedness; both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. 12 If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death; they have committed perversion; their blood is upon them. 13 If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. 14 If a man takes a woman and her mother also, it is depravity; he and they shall be burned with fire, that there may be no depravity among you. 15 If a man lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death, and you shall kill the animal. 16 If a woman approaches any animal and lies with it, you shall kill the woman and the animal; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.

17 “If a man takes his sister, a daughter of his father or a daughter of his mother, and sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgrace, and they shall be cut off in the sight of the children of their people. He has uncovered his sister’s nakedness, and he shall bear his iniquity. 18 If a man lies with a woman during her menstrual period and uncovers her nakedness, he has made naked her fountain, and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from among their people. 19 You shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister or of your father’s sister, for that is to make naked one’s relative; they shall bear their iniquity. 20 If a man lies with his uncle’s wife, he has uncovered his uncle’s nakedness; they shall bear their sin; they shall die childless. 21 If a man takes his brother’s wife, it is impurity. He has uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless.” – Leviticus 20:10-21 ESV

Once again, chapter 20 mirrors chapter 18 but with one very important difference. While the earlier chapter contains a series of laws prohibiting immoral sexual activity, chapter 20 provides God’s judgments against any violations of those laws. To ensure that His covenant people took His commands seriously, God let them know exactly what the punishment would be if they chose to disobey.

That God had to go cover such a wide range of sexual sins reveals that He knew the scope of the dangers facing the Israelites when they arrived in Canaan. Yahweh was well aware of the decadent and depraved lifestyles of the land’s pagan inhabitants who regularly engaged in everything from adultery and incest to homosexuality and bestiality. He also knew that His chosen people would find the Canaanite’s no-holds-barred approach to sex to be highly alluring. Despite His clearly defined bans on such behavior, the Israelites would be tempted to adopt the more “progressive” ways of their more liberal neighbors. So, God let His people know the deadly consequences they would face if they chose to ignore His commands and emulate the ways of the lawless and licentious Canaanites.

In each case, the penalty was the same: Death. In the case of adultery, both the man and the woman were to face capital punishment. Their violation of God’s command concerning the sanctity of marriage was not to be taken lightly. From the very beginning, God had proclaimed, “a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24 ESV). Jesus picked up on this theme when He spoke to the Pharisees concerning divorce.

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6 ESV

The apostle Paul also quoted from Genesis when he called the believing husbands in the city of Ephesus to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:28-31 ESV

The author of Hebrews provides further insight into God’s views on the sanctity of the marriage relationship.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. – Hebrews 13:4 ESV

God intended marriage to be between one man and one woman. But a host of aberrations involving human sexual activity had sprung up ever since the fall. Mankind had come up with all kinds of ways to take what God had ordained and pervert it. And the apostle Paul describes how God allowed the deviant desires of fallen humanity to run their course, eventually resulting in the very behaviors outlined in this chapter.

God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. – Romans 1:26-27 NLT

But the Israelites were to be different. The laws given to them by God were to regulate their behavior and keep them from going down the same sordid path as the rest of the world’s inhabitants. They were not allowed to be promiscuous or perverse in their pursuit of sexual pleasure. Adultery was off-limits. All forms of incest were strictly forbidden. Homosexuality, while acceptable among the pagans, was not to be practiced by God’s people. And something as grotesque and off-putting as bestiality was to be viewed as a direct violation of God’s order of creation.

The important thing to consider is that these activities were being practiced among the inhabitants of Canaan. They were not imaginary or hypothetical cases but real-life examples of human behavior apart from a relationship with God. With no guidance or oversight from the Creator God, mankind was left to operate according to its own selfish and self-satisfying passions.

God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. – Romans 1:24 NLT

In Canaan, adultery was de rigueur, an everyday part of daily life. It was acceptable and even preferable. Any and all boundaries on sexual activity had long ago been abandoned. Mankind had made recreation the primary purpose behind sex instead of procreation. God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” had been replaced with the more self-serving mantra of “if it feels good do it.” Everyone was doing what was right in their own eyes and according to their own perverse passions.

This free-for-all behavior among the pagans is what led God to provide His people with detailed laws that prohibited their emulation and carried a high price for any violation. Disobedience was punishable by death because God knew that if this kind of behavior was left unchecked it would spread like cancer among His people. Sexual sin is insatiable and those who engage in it are never satisfied. What was once considered perverse becomes preferable and pleasurable. The taboos of yesterday eventually become tolerable and normal. Nothing is off-limits. No desire is left unmet and no rules are allowed to deny one’s passions.  

As always, for God the issue was holiness. His people were to live set-apart lives that mirrored His will and demonstrated His divine plan for humanity. All of the perversions mentioned in this chapter are meant to illustrate just how far the human race had fallen from grace. These immoral behaviors provided ample evidence that humanity had followed the example of the first couple, who in their desire to be like God, succumbed to the enemy’s lies and ate of the forbidden fruit. Adam and Eve sought to know good and evil, the capacity to determine their own moral fate. They longed to be the autonomous arbiters of righteousness, making their own decisions about what was right and wrong. And that dangerous desire for self-determination had plagued mankind ever since. This is why God provided His people with a new and expanded set of laws designed to make it clear that He alone held the right to regulate human behavior. 

And in the closing verses of this chapter, God will reiterate His call to holy living. The Israelites had been set apart by God so that they might demonstrate what righteousness looks like in everyday life. Adam and Eve had failed to live in obedience to God’s commands. Now, the nation of Israel had the opportunity to “be fruitful and multiply” in the land of Canaan, demonstrating to the world the benefits and blessings of living according to God’s will rather than the desires of the flesh. But for their lives to stand out, they would have to wholeheartedly buy into God’s commands or suffer the consequences.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A Woman of God

10 An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
    she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
    and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
    when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates. – Proverbs 31:10-31 ESV

It would seem that King Lemuel had a mother whose praises he was eager to sing. These closing verses of chapter 31 are a testimony to his mother’s character and the impact she had made on his life. For Lemuel, the woman who had raised him and inculcated words of wisdom into his life became the model for what it means to be a godly mother and wife. 

Lemuel had high standards when it came to looking for a wife. And his mother had warned him not to waste his time and energy pursuing women whose lack of moral integrity and character would only end up damaging his reputation and his reign. As a king, Lemuel would have had no shortage of potential marriage candidates. There would have been an endless supply of young ladies eager to win the attention of the king and secure themselves a permanent place by his side as queen. So, as Lemuel wrestled with the weight of finding a suitable mate, he was forced to admit:

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies. – Proverbs 31:2 NLT

Lemuel bemoans the fact that finding a good wife is difficult work but well worth the effort. As he considers his own mother’s life and legacy, he recognizes the value of setting a high standard and refusing to settle for less. 

We all know how difficult it can be to find the "right" person to spend the rest of your life with. But Lemuel’s advice is to take your time and wait until you discover someone whose life is marked by godly characteristics that are of surpassing value and worth. King Lemuel poses a wonderful question when he asks, "Who can find a wife of noble character?" He compares the search for such a woman to the quest for a priceless jewel. She is rare and extremely valuable, and well worth searching and waiting for.

Lemuel goes on to list the kinds of qualities that mark the virtuous woman, and it is an extensive and impressive list. She will be trustworthy, faithful, hardworking, industrious, diligent, entrepreneurial, energetic, strong, caring, compassionate, wise, and godly. And those qualities will not only make her an excellent wife, but an influential mother, friend, and neighbor.

She will fear God and love her family. But what's interesting is that King Lemuel spends no time describing her looks. In fact, he states that "charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT). But then as now, culture puts a high priority on charm and beauty. Looks are important, and Lemuel is not dismissing the importance of physical attraction. He is simply stating that beauty can be skin deep and, when looking for a wife, you want to look beneath the surface.

To be honest, I was first attracted to my wife because of her looks, but then I quickly discovered her charm. As I spent more with her, I realized there was more to her beauty than had first met my eye. I was fortunate to discover that she was also a "woman who fears the Lord" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT).

One of the greatest desires of any parent is for their son to find a woman whose life will be characterized by the qualities found in these verses. And for Christian parents, one of the most important characteristics we pray for in our future daughter-in-laws is that they fear the Lord. We long for our son to find a woman who loves, respects, and reverences God and who displays a steady and growing dependence upon Him.

Lemuel's concept of an ideal wife is a woman who answers to God. She is committed to living for God. She is learning to rest in God. And what father would not want his son to find a woman like that. Let’s face it, there are many beautiful, charming women in the world, but who can find a woman of noble character? Those kinds of women are few and far between. They are rare and priceless. They are limited to those who have given their lives to Christ and who are willing to allow Him to so radically change their hearts that they become priceless treasures in His hands. They are the ones who have allowed God to transform their lives in such a way that their inner beauty far surpasses their physical looks. Beauty fades but character lasts.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. – Proverbs 31:30 NLT

According to Lemuel, what makes a woman truly attractive is the godly character that far surpasses any outward charm they may possess. The apostle Peter describes it as a “beauty that comes from within.” And he encourages godly women to place a higher priority on cultivating their inner character than they do on enhancing their outer beauty

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. – 1 Peter 3:3-4 NLT

That kind of woman will greatly enrich any man's life, and he will find she is well worth searching and waiting for. He will learn that she is of extreme value and deserves a husband who is also a man of noble, moral, and upright character. He will be motivated to display a character that is in keeping with hers. His love for and fear of God will mirror that of his wife. And sadly, those kinds of marriages seem to be few and far between. But they're worth praying and waiting for.

In a society obsessed with outer beauty, it pays to be reminded that God looks at the heart. He is not impressed with externals. He does not measure our value based on our good looks or outer attractiveness. God is all about inner character. He sees what others too often fail to see and what most of us even refuse to look for. In this famous Proverb, King Lemuel describes a most impressive woman. She is industrious, a successful businesswoman, a loving mother, a highly disciplined worker, a caring friend, and a dedicated wife. In fact, this woman is almost too good to be true. But I don't think the point of this Proverb is to hold up this woman as a model for all women to follow. Lemuel is simply reminding us that character counts.

It is what is on the inside that gives our lives value. This woman’s industry and hard work are laudable, but they are not the point. Hard work can simply become another form of idol worship, leading to workaholism and self-sufficiency. While King Lemuel describes this woman as dressing in fine linen and purple gowns, he says, “She is clothed with dignity and strength” (Proverbs 31:25 NLT).

Her inner character was outwardly visible by virtue of the way she lived her life. She worked hard out of love for her family, rather than love of self. She was industrious because she cared for others more than she cared for herself. This woman feared God. She had a reverence for God that drove her actions and determined her attitude about everything. Verse 10 describes her as "virtuous." That word really has to do with inner strength. She was trustworthy, good, hard-working, discerning, compassionate, giving, humble, wise, kind, loving, and worthy of praise from both her children and her husband. Why? Because she had an inner beauty that was far more than skin deep. It was the byproduct of time spent with God.

If some of us, both men and women, spent more time in the Word and less time in the gym or in front of the mirror, we might exhibit more of the character qualities this woman possessed. If we cared more about the condition of our souls than we did about our bodies, we would be far more attractive to the world around us.

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman [or man] who lives in the Fear-of-GOD. – Proverbs 31:30 MSG

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

The Wisdom of Experience

1 My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
    incline your ear to my understanding,
2 that you may keep discretion,
    and your lips may guard knowledge.
3 For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
    and her speech is smoother than oil,
4 but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
    sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
    her steps follow the path to Sheol;
6 she does not ponder the path of life;
    her ways wander, and she does not know it.

7 And now, O sons, listen to me,
    and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
8 Keep your way far from her,
    and do not go near the door of her house,
9 lest you give your honor to others
    and your years to the merciless,
10 lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
    and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
11 and at the end of your life you groan,
    when your flesh and body are consumed,
12 and you say, “How I hated discipline,
    and my heart despised reproof!
13 I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
    or incline my ear to my instructors.
14 I am at the brink of utter ruin
    in the assembled congregation.”

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
    flowing water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be scattered abroad,
    streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be for yourself alone,
    and not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
    and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19     a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
    be intoxicated always in her love.
20 Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
    and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
21 For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord,
    and he ponders all his paths.
22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
    and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
23 He dies for lack of discipline,
    and because of his great folly he is led astray. – Proverbs 5:1-23 ESV

This sounds like strange, if not hypocritical, advice coming from a man who had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3). It would appear that wise sayings weren’t the only things that Solomon made a habit of collecting. This king with the overactive libido had an eye for the ladies. So, it seems a bit disingenuous for Solomon to be giving his sons a lecture on avoiding the “forbidden woman.” How could he presume that he was the right man to give counsel not to “drink water from your own cistern” (Proverbs 5:15 ESV).

Yet, Solomon was the perfect person to be passing on his life experiences to his as-yet-unmarried sons. He wasn’t simply spouting pious-sounding platitudes he had discovered along the way, but he was sharing the painful life lessons he had been forced to learn as a result of his own pride and stupidity. Verses 12-13 are actually Solomon’s personal testimony.

“How I hated discipline,
    and my heart despised reproof!
I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
    or incline my ear to my instructors.”

Solomon is offering up a painful confession. And yet, Solomon’s admission would not have been news to his boys. In fact, it is likely that, while they all shared Solomon as their father, they each had a different mother. They suffered from no delusions that their father was a one-woman man. Each knew that their dad had been less-than-faithful to their own mother. And the older they became and the more knowledge they gained about the Word of God, they would have known that their father’s actions were out of step with the will of God.

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. The LORD had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the LORD.

In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the LORD his God, as his father, David, had been. – 1 Kings 11:1-4 ESV

Somewhere along the way, Solomon had made the decision to violate the command of God. His personal preferences and passions took precedence over God’s will. He would have been very familiar with God’s command concerning the kings of Israel.

The king must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the LORD. – Deuteronomy 17:17 NLT

But Solomon had decided that he knew best and he began to fill his home and his harem with beautiful women, collecting them like treasures to showcase his power and prestige.

But over in Proverbs 14:12 we read, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." That phrase "in the end" seems to pop up on a regular basis in the Proverbs. It refers to a day of accountability, not necessarily the day of the judgment of the Lord, but of a day of consequence. Every action has an outcome. Every path we take in life has a destination or an end. If a young man or woman chooses a life of immorality, it will have an outcome, and probably not the one they were expecting. Sin never does.

Solomon is speaking from experience when he states, "the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil – in the end she is as bitter as poison" (Proverbs 14:3-4 NLT). He knew what he was talking about and he wanted his sons to know that what appears to be tempting and tantalizing doesn’t always turn out quite as advertised.

One of the characteristics of foolishness or a lack of godly wisdom is the inability to foresee consequences. We are either oblivious to them or simple choose to ignore them. But more than likely, it is just a case of ignorance. A child touches a hot stove because they don’t know any better. They are ignorant of the consequences. But there comes a time in all of our lives when we become aware of the consequences of sin and still stubbornly continue to commit them. We think those consequences won’t apply to us. We refuse to consider "the end." We choose to live in the pleasure of the moment, putting off any thought of the consequences, or simply refusing to believe there will be any negative ramifications for our actions. But to think that way is not only foolish, it's deadly. We can end up losing everything – our honor, all we’ve achieved in life, the fruit of all our labor, the blessings of God, and the love and respect of those we once held dear. Like Solomon, we will find ourselves sadly looking back at our actions and saying, "How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Oh, why didn't I listen to my teachers? Why didn't I pay attention to my instructors? I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace" (Proverbs 5:12-14 NLT).

In the end, you will have regrets because the path you chose had consequences. But nobody thinks about the potential consequences when facing the alluring temptation of sin – except the godly. But obviously, Solomon is an example of the godly man who took his eyes off the Lord and began to seek satisfaction and significance somewhere else. It began with the allure of the forbidden fruit of many wives, but it wasn’t long before that sin produced an even greater one: the worship of their false gods. Solomon’s lust for women turned into a loss of love for God. 

Sin is so tempting, and it's allure is real, making it a constant problem for men and women alike. And while Solomon wrote his proverbs a long time ago, some things never change. We still need to hear his words of wisdom and warning. He spends an entire Proverb warning his sons against the dangers of the immoral woman or prostitute. It was a problem then and it remains a problem today. Promiscuity is alive and well, and it may be even more acceptable today than ever before. The increase in casual sex and a growing comfortableness and complacency with sex outside the confines of marriage make this message particularly timely for our sex-saturated society. Solomon’s warning to his sons was necessary in his day and it is needed in ours as well. But it sounds so antiquated and puritanical! At least that’s what many in our society would say. But it is a warning against the lies of all temptations. Satan is the father of lies and the great deceiver. He loves to package his product in such a way that it hides the dangers within. He is the master of manipulation and deception, creating the allusion of pleasure, but all the while hiding the true consequences. The prostitute is a perfect illustration of his methodologies. She is attractive, flattering, enticing, and appeals to man's basic instincts. She knows man's weakness and aims right for it. The apostle John warned us, "For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions" (1 John 2:16 NLT).

That is Satan’s strategy. Everything he offers is designed to appeal to what we crave and desire, to fulfill our insatiable need for pleasure, and to satisfy our hunger for significance. A prostitute goes out of her way to make her "client" feel wanted, important, and significant. She offers to provide him with physical and emotional pleasure and to satisfy all his needs. But in the end, "her feet go down to death." Like all sin, the consequences are dangerous and deadly. It never delivers as promised. It is the ultimate in false advertising, yet we fall prey to it each and every day in so many ways. We take the bait and suffer the consequences of broken marriages, unfulfilled expectations, destroyed reputations, and shattered lives.

So what's the solution? Wisdom, wise counsel, and discernment. Solomon warns his sons in graphic detail of the dangers facing them. He doesn’t sugarcoat or ignore it. He paints a vivid and compelling picture of the dangers of sin. He talks openly about the consequences. He wanted them to know the truth and he was willing for his sons to learn from his own mistakes.

Our congregations need to hear the truth. The enemy is filling their minds with lies day after day, and he has more resources available than ever before. The media provides him with a constant venue for propagating his lies and distributing his message of falsehood. We need to speak truth. We need to share the wisdom of God’s Word. We need to promote the non-negotiable requirement of living according to God’s way – unapologetically and boldly. The dangers are real. The consequences are devastating. Wisdom, wise counsel, and discernment are needed more than ever before.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Practical and Personal

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV

Paul has strongly stressed the need to know and obey the will of the Lord (Ephesians 5:17). He has called each member of the congregation to live as a light in the midst of the darkness of Ephesus by submitting to the control of the Holy Spirit within them. Together, they were to shine the light of God’s life-transforming glory into the dark recesses of the sin-soaked society around them. The fledgling church in Ephesus was to be a beacon of hope as they allowed the Holy Spirit to fill them. His presence and power would overflow and impact all their relationships. Paul indicates that this Spirit-empowered change in their corporate interactions will leave them “singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts” (Ephesians 5:19 NLT). As the Spirit makes the will of God known and then empowers the Ephesians to obey it, they will see their relationships radically changed, and their gratefulness to God increase. But it will all begin with their willingness to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

It’s interesting to note how verse 21 is often overlooked or ignored by those who take issue with verses 22-24. In the modern-day church, there are many who find Paul’s words regarding wives submitting to their husbands as old-fashioned and heavily patriarchal. They view them as antiquated and no longer applicable in today’s more modern and enlightened context. There is little debate that, when taken out of its context, Paul's teachings about submission within the home can sound like he has a low regard for women. But nothing could be further from the truth. Paul is not suggesting that wives have less value or worth than their husbands. He is not treating them as second-class citizens or subjugating them to an inferior role in the marriage relationship. He is simply continuing his discussion on knowing the will of God and allowing the Holy Spirit to apply that will to everyday life so that the Ephesian believers might be lights in the darkness.

Paul brings up the institution of marriage because it was something the Ephesian believers shared with their unsaved neighbors. Marriage was an accepted part of everyday life in Ephesus. Christians were not the only ones who participated in the God-ordained institution of marriage. But Christians were the only ones who could demonstrate what God’s will was concerning marriage.

Within the 1st-Century context of Greek culture, Paul’s teaching regarding husbands and wives was radical and unexpected. The prevailing view of the day held that wives were little more than property. Oftentimes, they were treated more like slaves than helpmeets. In general, women were seen as inferior to men and accorded little honor or respect.   

“After centuries of Christian teaching, we scarcely appreciate the revolutionary nature of Paul’s views on family life set forth in this passage. Among the Jews of his day, as also among the Romans and the Greeks, women were seen as secondary citizens with few or no rights. The pious male Jew daily said a prayer in which he thanked God for not making him a woman. And he could divorce his wife by simply writing ‘a bill of divorcement’ (which must include the provision that she was then free to marry whomever she wanted). The wife had no such right.” – Leon Morris, Expository Reflections on the Letter to the Ephesians

But Paul was not attempting to write a commentary on gender equity or trying to rectify centuries of ungodly thinking about the role of women in society. His interest was in helping Christian husbands and wives apply the will of God regarding marriage to their own homes. And his words must be kept within the context of his call to mutual submission found in verse 21. That’s the key to understanding verses 22-33.

Don’t forget how Paul opened this section of his letter.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. – Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV

How are mere humans supposed to imitate God? How can fallen men and women model their lives after a holy and completely righteous God? The only way they can do it is through a relationship with the Son of God. It is only through faith in Christ that anyone can be made right with God. And as believers are transformed into the likeness of Christ through the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit, their lives inherently imitate God because they emulate the One who “expresses the very character of God” (Hebrews 1:3 NLT).

Paul opened this chapter by calling the Ephesians to imitate God by demonstrating the same kind of sacrificial love that Christ poured out on them. God so loved the world that He sent His Son (John 3:16), and He “showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8 NLT).

Now, in verses 22-33, Paul is taking this call to imitate God by loving like Christ and applying it to the institution of marriage. He is focusing his attention on the one place in society where love and submission could and should be practiced and prove the power of the Spirit of God to apply the will of God to everyday life.

Paul begins by addressing the wives, telling them to “submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 ESV). It’s amazing how often the last four words of his statement are left out by those who take issue with this passage. They also overlook his emphasis on wives and their own husbands. This is not intended as a blanket statement regarding the relationship between all women and all men. This has less to do with gender than it does with the God-ordained institution of marriage and the divine definition regarding the roles of husbands and their wives. And it only applies to Christian marriages. What Paul is prescribing here is only possible when both husband and wife share a common faith in Jesus Christ. 

When Paul calls the wife to submit to her husband, he is not issuing a command to subjugate herself to a lower or inferior status in the relationship. He is not suggesting that the wife is of lesser value or importance to God.

“People often misunderstand submission. It does not indicate inferiority or involve losing one’s identity and becoming a non-person. Some women fear that submission will lead to abuse and or a feeling of being used. Submission does not mean blind obedience or passivity. It means giving oneself up to someone else.” – Thomas L. Constable, Notes on Ephesians

Paul is teaching the will of God concerning the marriage relationship. A Christian marriage is to look distinctively different than a non-Christian marriage. A husband and wife who are also a brother and sister in Christ are to model a radically different kind of marriage. Their interactions with one another are to be in keeping with the will of God and empowered by the Spirit of God. And it begins with a willingness to submit to or come under God’s providential plan for the marriage relationship.

These 12 verses, when taken in their context, reveal that the Christian marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. This must not be overlooked or discounted. That is the whole point of Paul’s teaching. The wife is intended to represent the church, the holy and spotless bride of Christ. The husband represents Christ, who demonstrated His love for His bride by laying down His life. Jesus gave His life so that His bride might have fulness of life. He died so that His bride might live. He sacrificed His body in order that the church might be cleansed and made holy. He modeled selflessness in the form of sacrifice.

In the same way, the wife is to model selflessness in the form of willful submission. The church, the bride of Christ, willingly submits to Him because it is God’s will. And when a Christian wife submits to her Christian husband, she is doing so “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 ESV). Or to put it another way, she submits to her husband in the same way that she submitted to the Lord – through faith – trusting that God’s will and His ways are best. Paul doesn’t suggest that she submit only when her husband acts like Christ. That is where faith comes in. She is expected to do God’s will whether the conditions are perfect or the outcome looks predictable. That’s why Paul added, “as to the Lord.” Ultimately, she is trusting that obedience to God’s will is preferable to her own desire for autonomy or self-will. 

What Paul is suggesting is not only difficult, but it is impossible – without the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. No one likes to submit. There is no human being that likes the idea of coming under the authority or leadership of another. Yet we all do it every day if we feel like we will receive some benefit from having done so. Employees submit to their bosses, in order to get a salary. Citizens submit to their governing authorities, in exchange for protection and the preservation of their rights and freedoms. You might call it a form of quid pro quo.

But Paul is suggesting something altogether different. He is calling husbands and wives to follow the example of Christ. He willingly submitted to the will of His Father, even to the point of laying down His life (Philippians 2:6-8). He willingly sacrificed His life so that His bride might be made holy, righteous, and pure. And when a husband and wife, two people whom God has formed into one, do the same thing, they bring Him glory. They reflect His will and imitate His very nature – together.

And Paul sums up his teaching by calling it a “great mystery…an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one” (Ephesians 5:32 NLT). On a human level, it makes no sense. It seems illogical and impractical. To today’s modern sensibilities, it seems out of date and out of touch with reality. But Paul is revealing God’s will, not marriage advice. And he does sum up his teaching about this great mystery with some rather simple advice:

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:33 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Compromise and the Loss of Conviction

10 Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers? 11 Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts!

13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.

17 You have wearied the Lord with your words. But you say, “How have we wearied him?” By saying, “Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and he delights in them.” Or by asking, “Where is the God of justice?” – Malachi 2:10-17 ESV

As verses 1-9 revealed, Israel had a leadership problem. Its priests were not living up to their role as the nation’s God-appointed shepherds. They were defiling the sacrificial system by offering unacceptable animals and, therefore, robbing the people of the atonement for sin they so desperately needed. On top of that, they had neglected their God-given responsibility to accurately teach the Mosaic Law to the people. They had twisted God’s words and taken liberties with God’s law, causing the people to stumble because of their deceptive instruction.

Through their immoral and unethical behavior, these unreliable leaders had caused irreparable damage to the nation. And now, Malachi turns his attention to the remnant of Israel who had returned to the land of promise but who were not living up to the covenant commitments God had established for them. In these verses, Malachi becomes the spokesperson, addressing his fellow citizens as brothers and sisters. 

Are we not all children of the same Father? Are we not all created by the same God? Then why do we betray each other, violating the covenant of our ancestors? – Malachi 2:10 NLT

Malachi was the prophet or messenger of God but, evidently, he was also a member of the tribe of Judah and part of the local community there in Jerusalem. He had a right to address his fellow citizens and remind them of their covenant commitment to God and one another. What he had witnessed taking place in the capital city was shocking and unacceptable to him. The people of Israel were not only turning away from God, but they were turning on one another. And he sums up their actions in one verse.

Judah has been unfaithful, and a detestable thing has been done in Israel and in Jerusalem. The men of Judah have defiled the Lord’s beloved sanctuary by marrying women who worship idols. – Malachi 2:11 NLT

They were guilty of idolatry and adultery, and both sins were examples of unfaithfulness. Centuries earlier, when the people of Israel were preparing to enter the land of Canaan for the first time, God had warned them about intermarrying with the nations that occupied the land.

“When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are about to enter and occupy, he will clear away many nations ahead of you: the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites. These seven nations are greater and more numerous than you. When the Lord your God hands these nations over to you and you conquer them, you must completely destroy them. Make no treaties with them and show them no mercy. You must not intermarry with them. Do not let your daughters and sons marry their sons and daughters, for they will lead your children away from me to worship other gods.” – Deuteronomy 7:1-4 NLT

But the people of Israel had failed to honor God’s ban on intermarriage. Almost as soon as they entered the land, they began to give their sons and daughters in marriage to the pagan nations that occupied Canaan. They had hoped that these marriage alliances would lead to peace with their enemies but instead, their actions led to a mingling of their religions and a growing compromise of their allegiance to Yahweh. And now, centuries later, the people were back in the land and still attempting to win over their enemies by intermarrying with them. But these marriages of convenience resulted in spiritual compromise and led to further unfaithfulness on the part of the people of Israel.

Evidently, Israelite men were committing adultery by abandoning their Hebrew wives and marrying foreign women. In doing so, they were willingly breaking the marriage vows they had made before God, and Malachi calls them out for it.

…you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. – Malachi 2:14 NLT

Through it all, their wives had remained faithful and unwilling to give up on their marriage. But these faithless men had been driven by their desires, not the will of God. And then they wondered why God was not accepting their offerings or answering their prayers. They had broken their marriage vows and violated God’s commands but still expected His blessings.

You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” – Malachi 2:13-14 NLT

They were guilty of double unfaithfulness. Not only had they left their wives for foreign women and taken on the false religions of their new spouses, but they were attempting to worship Yahweh and idols at the same time. They dared to enter His temple and present offerings as if they were faithful followers who loved and adored Him alone.

This was a serious problem during the days of Malachi. Ezra, one of his contemporaries and a leader of the nation of Israel after their return to Canaan, had been informed just how blatant and widespread this problem was.

“Many of the people of Israel, and even some of the priests and Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the other peoples living in the land. They have taken up the detestable practices of the Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Moabites, Egyptians, and Amorites. For the men of Israel have married women from these people and have taken them as wives for their sons. So the holy race has become polluted by these mixed marriages. Worse yet, the leaders and officials have led the way in this outrage.” – Ezra 9:1-2 NLT

Don’t miss that last line. It would appear that even the priests of Israel were guilty of this crime against God. They were leading the way in adultery and even idolatry. And yet, Ezra had recognized the extent of the problem and the need for the people to repent.

“Now we are being punished because of our wickedness and our great guilt. But we have actually been punished far less than we deserve, for you, our God, have allowed some of us to survive as a remnant. But even so, we are again breaking your commands and intermarrying with people who do these detestable things. Won’t your anger be enough to destroy us, so that even this little remnant no longer survives? O Lord, God of Israel, you are just. We come before you in our guilt as nothing but an escaped remnant, though in such a condition none of us can stand in your presence.” – Ezra 9:13-15 NLT

But evidently, the people had not joined Ezra in his call for repentance. This led Malachi to point out the ongoing problem of adultery and idolatry that still plagued the land of Judah. Everyone was doing what was right in their own eyes. They were living according to their own passions and pleasures and refusing to obey the commands of God. That led Malachi to remind them of their covenant commitment and God’s non-negotiable requirements regarding marriage and divorce.

Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. – Malachi 2:15-16 NLT

The actions of the people of Israel stand in stark contrast to the faithfulness of God as displayed in His unwavering commitment to their wellbeing. Despite all they had done to betray and abuse His love, He had remained committed to His covenant promises. Yes, He had punished them for their sins against Him, but He had also shown them undeserved mercy and grace by returning them to the land of promise so that they could restore their relationship with Him and display their renewed commitment to Him. But this was how they had repaid Him for His love.

In verse 17, Malachi gets to the heart of the matter. Not only were the people displaying unfaithfulness to one another and to God, but they were justifying their actions as good.

You have wearied him by saying that all who do evil are good in the Lord’s sight, and he is pleased with them. – Malachi 2:17 NLT

God was angered by their blatant displays of unfaithfulness but also by their self-righteous justification of their behavior. They were actually trying to claim that their behavior was in keeping with God’s will. Through some inexplicable leap of logic, they had convinced themselves that God was pleased with their actions. Because they had not experienced any direct consequences for their sins, they assumed that God must have approved of their behavior. But Malachi assured them that God was “wearied” by their in-your-face display of disobedience and disrespect.

Their moral compromises had led to a loss of conviction. They were no longer able to discern right from wrong. And since God seemed to have remained silent about their behavior, they regarded his silence as approval. In doing so, they questioned the very nature of God’s justice. To a certain degree, the people had begun to question the very presence of God. While they had successfully returned to the land and completed the building of the walls, the construction of the temple, and the repopulating of the city of Jerusalem, they were having a difficult time seeing the hand of God. From their perspective, there had been no supernatural display of His glory. Their return to the land had required a lot of hard work and they had little to show for all their efforts. They still had no king, no army, and found themselves surrounded by nations much larger and more powerful than themselves. So, they had taken matters into their own hands by intermarrying with their enemies and accomodating themselves to their worship of their false gods. And, since God had not struck them down, they assumed their decisions had His blessings. But they were about to discover just how wrong their assumptions really were.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

A Match Made In Heaven

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:18-25 ESV

During each phase of the creation process, God had repeatedly declared His divine satisfaction with His handiwork.

And God saw that it was good. – Genesis 1:25 ESV

And after “God created man in his own image…male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27 ESV), He “saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31 ESV). The sixth day of creation ended with God’s resounding approval of all that He had made, including the first man and woman.

But in chapter two, Moses reveals that there was a moment in the creation story when God was not satisfied. He had formed Adam out of the dust of the ground and “breathed into his nostrils the breath of life” (Genesis 2:7 ESV). Then God had placed Adam in the garden He had created for him to live in and care for. Yet, while Adam bore God’s image, had been animated by God’s breath, and lived in an idyllic environment where He could enjoy God’s constant presence, there was something missing. God evaluated the situation and concluded, “It is not good that the man should be alone…” (Genesis 2:18 ESV). 

This should not be construed as a mistake on God’s part. It was not a case of divine oversight or a sudden revelation on God’s part that His creation was somehow flawed. As chapter one revealed, it had always been God’s plan to create man ('āḏām) in His own image, and that image would include two genders: male and female. This biological diversity was absolutely necessary if 'āḏām was going to obey God’s mandate to “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28 ESV).

In chapter two, Moses is simply revealing the underlying purpose behind God’s delay in making the female version of 'āḏām. Because God had endowed Adam with the ability to reason and the capacity to create, He assigned Adam the responsibility of naming every living creature He had made.

The Lord God formed out of the ground every living animal of the field and every bird of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them, and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. – Genesis 2:19 NLT

While the creatures had been formed out of the ground just as Adam had been, that is where their similarity ends. They lacked the ability to name themselves because they had no capacity for reasoning or speech. They were driven by their natural animal instincts. But Adam, who had been made in the image of God, was able to think, discern, create, and comprehend in ways that set him apart from every other living creature. That is why God had assigned to him the sole responsibility of subduing and having dominion over the rest of creation.

Adam’s God-ordained assignment to name the animals had a secondary purpose behind it. As he observed each species of creature, Adam realized that each of them had a corresponding mate. There was a male and a female. But Adam quickly noticed that there was no one who looked like him.

…but for Adam no companion who corresponded to him was found. – Genesis 2:20 NLT

It seems quite likely that as Adam carried out his creature-naming assignment, he observed some of them carrying out God’s divine mandate to procreate. Yet, he had no companion or female counterpart. God had already recognized this void in Adam’s life and had predetermined to remedy it.

“It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18 ESV

But it was important that Adam recognize his own insufficiency. He was not meant to be alone. So, as this lone male observed the natural state of God’s creation and saw that every other male creature had a female counterpart, he developed a growing awareness of his need and of his own inability to do anything about it. According to the NET Study Bible notes, Adam suddenly realized “there was not found a companion who corresponded to him.”

God had always intended for Adam to have a companion. But this “helper” was meant to be far more than a friend. She was to complement and complete Adam. Only as male and female could they successfully bear God’s image and spread His glory across the earth. Without Eve, Adam would have been unable to carry out God’s Kingdom mandate. He could not have multiplied and filled the earth. He would have been incapable of making more of his own kind. And as soon as Adam recognized his need, God stepped in to do something about it.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. – Genesis 2:21-22 ESV

God performed the first surgery. He anesthetized Adam, removed one of his ribs, then miraculously closed up the wound. In Hebrew, the word translated as “rib” is צֵלָע (ṣēlāʿ), and it can also be translated as “side.” It was used to refer to the ribs of a boat or the planks of a house. The imagery is meant to convey the woman’s intimate and interconnected relationship with Adam. God could have formed the woman out of the dust of the ground, just as He had done with Adam. But instead, God chose to make the woman from man. Unlike any other “companions” in God’s creation, the man and the woman would share a unique and irrevocable bond.

“. . . the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.” – Matthew Henry, Commentary on the Whole Bible

They were the same, but very different. Adam was זָכָר (zāḵār) – a male. Eve was נְקֵבָה (nᵊqēḇâ) – a female. The Hebrew word for “female” is derived from another word, which means “to pierce.” It seems that Eve’s designation as a female has biological implications that demonstrate the complementary nature of her relationship with Adam. But while all the living creatures were given the ability to copulate and procreate, man and woman were to enjoy a relational intimacy that went far beyond the act of breeding and propagating their kind.

When Adam awoke from his divine surgical procedure, he was given his first glimpse of his new companion and he shouted, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23 ESV).

The Hebrew term הַפַּעַם (happaʿam) conveys a sense of extreme relief. It could be better translated, “now, finally, at last” (NET Bible study notes). During all the time he had spent naming the living creatures, Adam had grown increasingly more frustrated with his inability to find a mate. He knew something was wrong but had no way of fixing the problem. Yet, when Adam saw what God had done, he was blown away. And true to his original assignment, Adam immediately gave this striking creature a name, “Woman.”

The Hebrew word for “woman” is אִשָּׁה ('iššâ), and, in the Old Testament, it is most often translated as “wife.” When spoken, this word sounds similar to the Hebrew word for “man” – אִישׁ ('îš). It seems that Adam immediately recognized that this creature was meant for him. In a real sense, she was the answer to his prayers. And he knew that her link to him was more than simply biological – it was physiological. She came from him. She was “flesh of his flesh” (Genesis 2:23 ESV). They shared a unique and inseparable bond that was unmistakable and undeniable. Adam knew that they were meant for one another. Nothing else would do. 

And Moses provides a summary statement to underscore the unique nature of the relationship between a man and a woman that would later manifest itself in the marriage union.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24 ESV

Moses recognized the long-term implications of this first union between a man and a woman. It was far more than a sexual relationship. At this point in the story, Adam and Eve had not had time to consummate their union. The term “one flesh” speaks to their “blood” relationship. They literally shared the same “flesh and bone.” And Moses understood that this unique relationship shared by the first man and his wife was to be a model for all future couples. From that point forward, Adam and Eve were considered as one in God’s eyes. Their divine union was to be inseparable and indissoluble.

Jesus would refer to this very moment in time when giving His insights regarding marriage and divorce.

“…from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Mark 10:6-9 ESV

God had made Eve from Adam. And God had returned to Adam what He had taken from him. According to God’s divine mathematical formula, these two individuals were no longer two but one. And Moses accentuates the “very good” nature of this God-ordained union.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25 ESV

There is a sense of innocence and intimacy in this statement. At this point in the creation story, the first man and woman were completely content with everything about their circumstances. They lacked nothing. They had no need for clothing, food, water, or shelter. The world in which they lived was perfect. They were able to enjoy one another’s companionship and live in intimate and unbroken fellowship with God. And yet, we know how the story ends. This perfectly matched couple was about to experience the very real danger of discontentment and doubt. It was just a matter of time before they succumbed to the very thing that Jesus would later warn about in His sermon on the mount.

“…do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” – Matthew 6:25-27 ESV

The peace and joy of the garden were about to be replaced by anxiety and discontentment. This perfectly paired couple would soon reveal humanity’s predisposition for self-deception and self-determination. While God had provided them with everything they could ever need, including one another, they would soon reveal their dissatisfaction through an act of blatant disobedience. And the world would never be the same.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

God of the Living, Not the Dead

27 There came to him some Sadducees, those who deny that there is a resurrection, 28 and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies, having a wife but no children, the man must take the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. 29 Now there were seven brothers. The first took a wife, and died without children. 30 And the second 31 and the third took her, and likewise all seven left no children and died. 32 Afterward the woman also died. 33 In the resurrection, therefore, whose wife will the woman be? For the seven had her as wife.”

34 And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, 35 but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, 36 for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. 37 But that the dead are raised, even Moses showed, in the passage about the bush, where he calls the Lord the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob. 38 Now he is not God of the dead, but of the living, for all live to him.” 39 Then some of the scribes answered, “Teacher, you have spoken well.” 40 For they no longer dared to ask him any question. – Luke 20:27-40 ESV

The spies of the scribes and chief priests failed to entrap Jesus with their question and, instead, they were left speechless by His response.

…they were not able in the presence of the people to catch him in what he said, but marveling at his answer they became silent. – Luke 20:26 ESV

This left the door open to the Sadducees, another religious sect in Israel. These men shared membership in the Sanhedrin with the Pharisees but held opposing views on a number of important doctrines. While they held a conservative view of Scripture, insisting on a literal interpretation of the text, they were the religious liberals of their day when it came to the afterlife, the doctrine of the resurrection, and the reality of angels. They rejected them all. For them, this life was all there was, and it was to be lived in strict adherence to the written law as found in the Torah. They were elitists who rejected the oral law of the Pharisees, the “traditions of the elders” that contained hundreds of additional laws or addendums to the written law. But while they were not exactly bosom buddies with the Pharisees, they shared one thing in common with them: A hatred for Jesus. So, in this passage, they come to Jesus posing a question intended to expose Jesus’ heretical views on the resurrection.

Their question is a lengthy one, presented in the form of a short story. It’s a fictitious scenario involving what was called the Levirate Law, part of the Law of Moses found in the book of Deuteronomy. This law ruled that when a man died, leaving his wife a widow with no children, one of his brothers was obligated to marry the woman. The intention behind the law was to carry on the deceased man’s name and ensure that any inheritance he might have had remain in the family.

The law stated, “If two brothers are living together on the same property and one of them dies without a son, his widow may not be married to anyone from outside the family. Instead, her husband’s brother should marry her and have intercourse with her to fulfill the duties of a brother-in-law. The first son she bears to him will be considered the son of the dead brother, so that his name will not be forgotten in Israel” (Deuteronomy 25:5-6 NLT).

These Sadducees had purposely created a highly unlikely scenario where the woman ends up marrying seven different brothers, each one dying before they could father a son with her. And their story ends with the woman’s death, having been seven times a widow and childless. This complicated and completely contrived tale had a purpose behind it. Luke makes it clear that the real point behind their question was the resurrection. They were not interested in hearing Jesus’ interpretation of the law but they simply wanted to expose His views concerning the resurrection. This is why they ended their story with the pointed question: “So tell us, whose wife will she be in the resurrection? For all seven were married to her!” (Luke 20:33).

They think they have Jesus trapped. Since the Torah did not explicitly teach about the resurrection, they did not believe in it. So, their little story was designed to expose the fallacy behind the doctrine of the resurrection. In their minds, they had shown that the very concept of the resurrection would conflict with the law itself. How could a woman have seven husbands in heaven?

But Jesus exposed the flaw in their thinking and the problem in their lives. According to Matthew’s gospel, Jesus responded to their question with a rather blunt and far-from-flattering statement.

“Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.” – Matthew 22:29 NLT

This would have been like a sucker punch to the stomach. Jesus had caught them off guard and had wiped the smug look of satisfaction off their faces with one simple sentence. These men prided themselves on their knowledge and understanding of the Scriptures, and yet Jesus accused them of being unfamiliar with God’s Word and His power. They were intelligent yet ignorant. In all their study of the Scriptures, they had overlooked God’s power on display. They had relegated all they knew about life to the here-and-now and rejected the idea of a hereafter. So, Jesus rocked their religious sensibilities by informing them that the resurrection will render marriage unnecessary.

Jesus rendered their convoluted scenario pointless and irrelevant. In her resurrected state, the woman would not be married to any of the brothers.

“Marriage is for people here on earth. But in the age to come, those worthy of being raised from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage. And they will never die again.” – Luke 20:34-36 NLT

This statement by Jesus must have caught the arrogant Sadducees completely off guard. And it may be just as shocking to some who are reading these words right now.

It’s likely that your concept of heaven has always included marriage. You have assumed that if you are married here on earth, you will be married in heaven. But what would be the purpose of marriage in heaven? As an institution, it was designed to illustrate the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the Church. It was intended to be a physical representation of a spiritual reality.

In heaven, the union of Christ and the Church will be complete. There will no longer be a need for a symbol of that union. And while we may find that idea disturbing and possibly disappointing, we have to remember that our condition in our resurrected state will be one of perfection. We will be like Christ and have perfect fellowship with God the Father. Our primary relationship will be with Him. There will no longer be the need for another person to complete or complement us.

But Jesus knew that behind their question was their view concerning the resurrection, so He cut to the chase and took it head-on.

“But now, as to whether the dead will be raised—even Moses proved this when he wrote about the burning bush. Long after Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob had died, he referred to the Lord as ‘the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.’ So he is the God of the living, not the dead, for they are all alive to him.” – Luke 20:37-38 NLT

Once again, Jesus questions their knowledge of the Scriptures, letting them know that in spite of all their study, they had missed a key point. When God spoke to Moses about His relationship with the great patriarchs of the Hebrew people, He used the PRESENT tense.

God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’ This is my name forever, and thus I am to be remembered throughout all generations.” – Exodus 3:15 ESV

These words were spoken long after all three of these men were dead and gone, and yet God refers to His relationship with them in the present tense. He was still their God. Jesus made it clear that this was not a grammatical error but a theological truth. There is an afterlife, and there will be a resurrection. The Sadducees’ problem was that they tended to study the Scriptures with a biased view and a limited understanding of the power of God. The idea of the resurrection was impossible to them. It was inconceivable. So, they simply refused to believe in it. In establishing their doctrinal views, they had unknowingly limited the power of God. When they couldn’t comprehend something, they simply eliminated it from consideration. But Jesus made it clear that the resurrection was not only possible, but it was also undeniable and inevitable, because of the power of God.

For the Sadducees, life had become all about what they could see and explain. Their view was limited and restrictive. They had no room in their theology for an afterlife because it made no sense to them. So, they put all their eggs in one basket, concentrating all their efforts on making the most out of this life. In doing so, they missed the whole concept of the afterlife, of heaven, and the resurrected state. For them, this earthly life was the only life. Nothing more, nothing less.

And sadly, there are many who live with that same restrictive mindset today. Even those claiming to be Christ-followers live as if there is no eternal life, focusing all their attention and energies on making the most of this life. They simply ignore what they can’t see or explain. And yet, God’s Word encourages us to run the race of life with the end in mind. We are to set our affections on things above, not the things of this earth. We are told to consider ourselves as strangers and aliens here, always remembering that this world is not our home. We are simply passing through on our way to somewhere better. There is an afterlife. There is an eternal state. This is not all there is. And we should live with that reality in mind.

We worship a God of the living. The power of God assures us that the dead in Christ are not gone. They are experiencing the joys of heaven, and one day we will see them again. It is just as Jesus promised:

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16 ESV

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

License to Lawlessness

1 And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.

2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” – Mark 10:1-12 ESV

In chapter 10, Mark begins his record of Jesus’ journey to Jerusalem. Having completed His lecture to the disciples regarding greatness in the Kingdom, Jesus departed Capernaum in Galilee for the last time and headed to “the region of Judea beyond the Jordan” (Matthew 19:1 ESV). This would have put them in Perea, a region just east of the Jordan River. What makes this location so significant is that Jesus was returning to the area where His ministry had begun more than three years earlier. According to John’s gospel, this was the place where Jesus had been baptized by John.

These things took place in Bethany across the Jordan, where John was baptizing. The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! – John 1:28-29 ESV

Jesus has come full circle. He has returned to the place where He received the anointing of the Holy Spirit and the verbal commendation of His Heavenly Father.

“This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” – Matthew 3:17 ESV

And as always, Jesus immediately found Himself surrounded by large crowds. His reputation had grown and wherever He went, the news of His presence spread and attracted people like moths to a flame. And Jesus didn’t disappoint. He gave the crowds what they had come to expect: insightful teaching and miracles of healing. But there were others in the crowd that day whose interest in Jesus was more sinister in nature. Mark indicates that the “Pharisees came up and in order to test him” (Mark 10:2 ESV). These men had persistently pursued Jesus, following Him everywhere He went and hoping to expose Him as the fraud they believed Him to be. They were unimpressed by His miracles or message. They denied His claims to deity and debunked His miracles by claiming He did them by the power of Satan. But the one thing the Pharisees had been unable to do was to break Jesus’ captivating hold over the people. It galled them that He had become a celebrity among the lower classes, and they were constantly looking for ways to destroy His popularity. That’s why Mark indicates that they came to “test him.”

And this time, they chose to broach the particularly controversial topic of divorce. It should not go unnoticed that this entire scene takes place in Perea, a region under the jurisdiction of Herod Antipas. He was the Roman-appointed tetrarch of Galilee and Perea and the self-proclaimed “king” of Israel. This was the very same man who had put John the Baptist to death for having publicly criticized his unlawful marriage to his brother’s wife (Mark 6:17). 

Perhaps these men were hoping that Jesus would take a hardline stance just as John the Baptist had done, forbidding divorce for any reason whatsoever. If so, this news could be used against Him. After all, Herod had already put to death one trouble-maker for his more conservative view of divorce.

But there is a far more likely motivation behind their question to Jesus. Divorce had become commonplace among the Jews because of their interpretation of the Mosaic Law. They believed that God had given them a “get-out-of-jail-free” card. And it was based on the following command found In the book of Deuteronomy.

“Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man. But if the second husband also turns against her, writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away, or if he dies, the first husband may not marry her again, for she has been defiled. That would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as a special possession.” – Deuteronomy 24:1-4 NLT

Divorce was a problem in Israel. And the reason was that the people had been taught to minimize the moral aspect regarding divorce. Their interpretation of this passage in Deuteronomy centered solely on one thing: The certificate of divorce. In other words, they read this law and saw it as a license for a man to divorce his wife.

It is essential to understand that, in Israel’s ancient culture, women had no rights. They were not free to divorce their husbands. So, this law was aimed at men. But God had not intended this law to provide men with an easy exit strategy from an unhappy marriage. Yet, that is what it had become. Divorce had become commonplace. All it required was a written piece of paper, a certificate of divorce. There were no lawyers, courts, or judges involved. And the action was taken with little or no thought as to any spiritual or moral ramifications the decision might entail.

So, when the Pharisees asked Jesus, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” they were hoping He would say no. This would have put Jesus at odds with the prevailing opinion of the day. And He would be contradicting the Mosaic Law. But Jesus saw through the thinly veiled ploy and answered their question with one of His own:

“What did Moses command you?” – Mark 10:3 ESV

And they quickly respond with their preferred interpretation of the Deuteronomy passage.

“Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” – Mark 10:4 ESV

In a sense, they were saying that what was good for Moses was good for them. Their justification for no-fault divorce was written in black-and-white ink right in the Mosaic Law. But they were missing the whole point. And this would not be the first time Jesus addressed this topic. He had done so in great detail in His Sermon on the Mount. But in that case, He tied it directly to the topic of adultery.

“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” – Matthew 5:27-30 NLT

And Jesus followed this up with another closely related and equally abused law of God.

“You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.” – Matthew 5:31-32 NLT

Now, here was Jesus having to address this very same issue again. Every Jew knew that adultery was wrong but they had separated the idea of adultery from divorce. Yet Jesus would not allow them to do so. For Jesus, this entire discussion revolved around the condition of the heart. That’s why He told them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment” (Mark 10:5 ESV). The law concerning the certificate of divorce had been provided because of the sinfulness of men’s hearts. The fall of Adam and Eve had resulted in the contamination of the entire human race with sin. And even the people of Israel, chosen by God and set apart as His people, could not stop sinning and satisfying their own selfish desires. 

In just a few short sentences, Jesus drops the hammer on the Jewish concept of divorce. All the way back in the book of Genesis, at the very point in time when God had made Eve from the rib of Adam, He had said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24 ESV). God’s intention had been that a man and woman would be joined together as one, for life. There had been no provision for divorce.

C. E. B. Cranfield, in his commentary of the Gospel of Mark, clarifies that the Deuteronomy passage to which Jesus refers…

…is a divine provision to deal with situations brought about by men’s sklerokardia [hardness of heart] and to protect from its worst effects those who would suffer as a result of it. – C. E. B. Cranfield, The Gospel According to Saint Mark

In other words, this was a concession, and not to be confused with some form of divine sanctioning of divorce. It was intended to keep men from following up one sin with another. The certificate of divorce was a legal document that was based on one thing and one thing only: Some proof of “indecency” in the life of the wife. The Hebrew word used in the Deuteronomy passage had to do with actions related to indecency, shamefulness, or dishonor. A man couldn’t just grow tired of his wife and send her packing. He wasn’t free to “fall out of love” with her and produce a piece of paper to get rid of her. There had to be moral justification for the divorce. And, if he did divorce her, he had to deal with the moral ramifications of his decision.

Jesus makes it perfectly clear that, unless the man’s wife was guilty of unfaithfulness, in the form of sexual immorality, he had no right to divorce her. If he did, he was causing her to commit adultery with the next man she married. Because, in God’s eyes, she and her first husband were still one. And if she did remarry and was given divorce papers a second time, the first husband was not free to remarry her, without being guilty of adultery as well. And any husband, after having divorced his wife, who decided to marry a woman who had also been divorced without proper cause, would be guilty of adultery.

Why is Jesus belaboring this point? What is the real issue He is addressing? It is faithfulness. It all gets back to a perception/reality problem. For the Jews, their perception regarding divorce was that it was permissible under certain conditions. You just had to follow the rules. But with the help of the religious leaders, the rules had been redefined. Divorce had become an accepted norm. But Jesus was out to deal with reality. He blatantly countered that divorce results in adultery. Marriage was intended to be a covenant, a binding relationship between two people, and sealed before God Almighty. And Jesus clarifies the significance of that reality, when He says, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9 ESV).

Divorce was never God’s intention for mankind. Marriage was designed to be a permanent union, creating a divine bond between two individuals. Divorce was a breaking of the marriage covenant. It was an act of unfaithfulness. And God had stated that the only legitimate grounds for divorce would be based on unfaithfulness. And yet, He was not prescribing divorce as the solution to the problem of unfaithfulness. Jesus made it painfully clear that there was only one reason God made a provision for divorce: “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8 ESV).

One of the things God has always looked for in His people is faithfulness. God expected the people of Israel, His chosen people, to remain faithful to Him. But He often accused them of spiritual adultery.

“Have you seen what she did, that faithless one, Israel, how she went up on every high hill and under every green tree, and there played the whore? And I thought, ‘After she has done all this she will return to me,’ but she did not return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore. Because she took her whoredom lightly, she polluted the land, committing adultery with stone and tree. Yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah did not return to me with her whole heart, but in pretense, declares the Lord.” – Jeremiah 3:6-10 ESV

Israel had a track record of unfaithfulness to God. They couldn’t keep from wandering after other “lovers.” And the whole point Jesus seems to be making is that unfaithfulness on a horizontal level is a reflection of unfaithfulness on a vertical level. How are we to remain faithful to God if we can’t remain faithful to our spouse? Our lack of commitment reveals a heart problem, not a compatibility issue.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

God of the Living

23 The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, 24 saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother.’ 25 Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. 26 So too the second and third, down to the seventh. 27 After them all, the woman died. 28 In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.”

29 But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. 31 And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God: 32 ‘I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not God of the dead, but of the living.” 33 And when the crowd heard it, they were astonished at his teaching. –  Matthew 22:23-33 ESV

Jesus is facing yet another confrontation with the religious leaders. This time it is the Sadducees. They were the religious liberals of their day who rejected the idea of an afterlife, the doctrine of the resurrection, and the reality of angels. For them, this life was all there was, and it was to be lived in strict adherence to the written law as found in the Torah. They were elitists who rejected the oral law of the Pharisees, the “traditions of the elders” that contained hundreds of additional laws or addendums to the written law. But while they were not exactly bosom buddies with the Pharisees, they shared one thing in common with them: A hatred for Jesus. So, in this passage, the come to Jesus posing a question intended to expose Jesus’ heretical views on the resurrection.

Their question is a lengthy one, in the form of a short story. It’s a fictitious scenario involving what was called the Levirate Law, part of the Law of Moses found in the book of Deuteronomy. This law ruled that when a man died, leaving his wife a widow with no children, one of the deceased man’s brothers was obligated to marry the woman. The intention behind the law was to carry on the deceased man’s name and keep any inheritance he might have had in the family.

The law states, “If two brothers are living together on the same property and one of them dies without a son, his widow may not be married to anyone from outside the family. Instead, her husband’s brother should marry her and have intercourse with her to fulfill the duties of a brother-in-law. The first son she bears to him will be considered the son of the dead brother, so that his name will not be forgotten in Israel” (Deuteronomy 25:5-6 NLT).

These Sadducees had purposely created a highly unlikely scenario where the woman ends up marrying seven different brothers, each one dying before they could father a son with her. And their story ends with the woman’s death, seven times a widow and childless. This complicated and completely contrived tale had a purpose behind it. Matthew makes it clear that the real point behind their question was the resurrection. They were not interested in Jesus’ interpretation of the law but wanted to expose His views concerning the resurrection. Which is why they ended their story with the pointed question: “So tell us, whose wife will she be in the resurrection? For all seven were married to her” (Matthew 22:28 NLT).

They think they have Jesus trapped. Since the Torah did not explicitly teach about the resurrection, they did not believe in it. So, their little story was designed to expose the ridiculousness of the whole idea of the resurrection. In their minds, they had shown that the very concept of the resurrection would conflict with the law itself. How could a woman have seven husbands in heaven? But Jesus exposes the flaw in their thinking and the problem in their lives. He simply states, “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God” (Matthew 22:29 NLT).

This would have been like a sucker punch to the stomach. Jesus had caught them off guard and had wiped the smug look of satisfaction off their faces with one simple sentence. These men prided themselves on their knowledge and understanding of the Scriptures, and yet Jesus accused them of not knowing the Word of God or the power of God. They were intelligent but ignorant. In all their study of the Scriptures, they had overlooked God’s power on display. They had relegated all they knew about life to the here-and-now and rejected the idea of a hereafter. So, Jesus rocked their religious sensibilities by informing them that, in the resurrected state, there is no state of marriage.

Jesus rendered their convoluted scenario pointless and irrelevant. In her resurrected state, the woman would not be married to any of the brothers, “For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage” (Matthew 22:30 NLT). This statement by Jesus must have totally surprised the Sadducees, catching them completely off guard. And it may be just as shocking to some who are reading these words right now.

Your concept of heaven has always included marriage. You have assumed that if you are married here on earth, you will be married in heaven. But what would be the purpose of marriage in heaven? As an institution, it was designed to illustrate the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the Church. It was intended to be a physical representation of a spiritual reality.

In heaven, the union of Christ and the Church will be complete. There will no longer be a need for a symbol of that union. And while we may find that idea disturbing and possibly disappointing, we have to remember that our condition in our resurrected state will be one of perfection. We will be like Christ and have perfect fellowship with God the Father. Our primary relationship will be with Him. There will no longer be the need for another person to complete or complement us.

But Jesus knew that the real issue behind their question was their view concerning the resurrection, so He cuts to the chase and takes it head-on.

“But now, as to whether there will be a resurrection of the dead—haven’t you ever read about this in the Scriptures? Long after Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob had died, God said, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.’ So he is the God of the living, not the dead.” – Matthew 22:31-32 NLT

Once again, Jesus questions their knowledge of the Scriptures, letting them know that in spite of all their study, they had missed a key point. When referring to His relationship with the great patriarchs of the Hebrew people, God had spoken in the PRESENT tense. He had said, “I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.”

These words were spoken long after all three of these men were dead and gone, and yet God refers to His relationship with them in the present tense. Jesus made it clear that this was not a grammatical error but a theological truth. There is an afterlife, and there will be a resurrection. The Sadducees’ problem was that they tended to study the Scriptures with a biased view and a limited understanding of the power of God. The idea of the resurrection was impossible to them. It was inconceivable. So, they simply refused to believe in it. In establishing their doctrinal views, they had unknowingly limited the power of God. Because they couldn’t comprehend something, they simply eliminated it from consideration. But Jesus made it clear that the resurrection was not only possible, it was undeniable and inevitable, because of the power of God.

For the Sadducees, life had become all about what they could see and explain. Their view was limited and restrictive. They had no room in their theology for an afterlife because it made no sense to them. So, they put all their eggs in one basket, concentrating all their efforts on making the most out of this life. In doing so, they missed the whole concept of the afterlife, of heaven, and the resurrected state. For them, this earthly life was the only life. Nothing more, nothing less.

And sadly, there are many who live with that same restrictive mindset today. Even those claiming to be Christ-followers live as if there is no eternal life, focusing all their attention and energies on making the most of this life. They simply ignore what they can’t see or explain. And yet, we are encouraged throughout the Word of God to run the race of life with the end in mind. We are to set our affections on things above, not the things of this earth. We are told to consider ourselves as strangers here and to remember that this world is not our home. We are simply passing through on our way to somewhere better. There is an afterlife. There is a heaven. This is not all there is. And we should live with that reality in mind.

We worship a God of the living. The power of God assures us that the dead in Christ are not gone. They are experiencing the joys of heaven, and one day we will see them again. It is just as Jesus promised:

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16 ESV

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Deadly Serious About Marriage

22 “If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman. So you shall purge the evil from Israel.

23 “If there is a betrothed virgin, and a man meets her in the city and lies with her, 24 then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor’s wife. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.

25 “But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is betrothed, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die. 26 But you shall do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no offense punishable by death. For this case is like that of a man attacking and murdering his neighbor, 27 because he met her in the open country, and though the betrothed young woman cried for help there was no one to rescue her.

28 “If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, 29 then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.

30  “A man shall not take his father’s wife, so that he does not uncover his father’s nakedness.” – Deuteronomy 22:22-30 ESV

God had provided Israel with laws concerning every aspect of life, including marriage. And, because God knew the hearts of His people, His laws covered virtually every conceivable circumstance that might arise. He knew that, in their fallen state, they would be constantly tempted to find loopholes that would allow them to circumvent His laws. That’s why the Mosaic Law contains such explicit instructions regarding the sexual relationship between a man and a woman.

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.” – Exodus 22:16-17 ESV

For one thing, these kinds of laws reveal God’s perspective on marriage. His chosen people were not free to let their base sexual passions dictate their behavior. Physical desires, while instilled by the Creator, were not to dictate human interaction. The fall had damaged mankind, leaving behind a natural proclivity to serve self at all costs. And the unequivocal prohibitions God gave the people of Israel were designed to curb their predisposition to allow their basest needs to drive their behavior. So, two of the ten commandments God gave to Moses contained restrictions regarding marriage and sex.

“You shall not commit adultery.” – Exodus 20:14 ESV

“You shall not … covet your neighbor's wife.” – Exodus 20:17 ESV

These two commands are inextricably linked. Coveting, the attraction to something you do not possess can quickly move from an emotional appetite to a physical action to satisfy that appetite. While the concept of coveting is not always negative, in this context, it carries the idea of desire for something that is off-limits. It is a greed-driven craving for that which has been forbidden. If you covet your neighbor’s wife, it won’t be long before that inappropriate desire manifests itself in action, and the coveting takes the form of adultery.

So, here in Deuteronomy 22, we find Moses providing additional instructions regarding marriage and sex. The very fact that God had Moses go into such great detail reveals the extent of Israel’s love affair with sin and selfishness. 

In verses 22-30, there are five specific scenarios outlined that deal with the unseemly topics of adultery and rape. That God had Moses go into such vivid detail reveals the extent of human sin and its infectious nature. While the people of Israel had been set apart by God as His chosen possession, they still suffered from the effects of the fall and were going to find themselves constantly struggling to stifle their naturaul inclination to satisfy self at all costs.

First of all, adultery was a serious matter punishable by death. The marriage union was not something to be taken lightly or treated flippantly. When God said the two shall become one, He meant it. And while man’s sin nature would constantly entice him to replace God’s will with his own self-centered desires, there would always be consequences – deadly serious consequences.

Marriage was so important to God that even the betrothal or engagement stage of the marriage union was protected by His laws. The betrothal period was considered sacrosanct and was to be treated with an appropriate degree of reverence. Even though the betrothed couple had not yet consummated their marriage, they were considered as one in the eyes of God. They were bound together by a covenant agreement. So, if it was discovered that a betrothed woman had sexual relations with a man other than her husband-to-be, she was to be put to death, along with her partner.

But Moses provided a mitigating circumstance. What if the woman had been unwillingly raped by another man? He paints the scenario of a man sexually assaulting a woman in the middle of nowhere, where her screams for help go unanswered. In that case, the man is to be stoned to death for rape and the woman is to be exonerated.

Then, Moses provides one final case involving a man who forcibly rapes an unbetrothed virgin. In this instance, the man is responsible to marry the woman and to pay a proper dowry to her parents. In God’s eyes, the man is guilty of having stolen something of great value: the young woman’s virginity. But he is also guilty of depriving the girl’s parents of their right to a dowry. In the ancient economy, a daughter could bring a family much-needed revenue in the form of money or livestock. A son could work in the fields and help maintain the family’s resources, He could also inherit all that belonged to the family, ensuring that the legacy of his father was continued. But a daughter brought value to the family through marriage. So, if a man raped a virgin, he was obligated to marry her and to provide her family with an appropriate dowry to compensate for his sin.

The final case most likely involves a son marrying his own stepmother. The text describes her as “his father’s wife,” not as his own mother. So, it seems that the circumstance to which Moses refers involves a son marrying the widow of his deceased father. This was considered to be a case of incest, even though the woman was not his actual birth-mother. While the Mosaic Law allowed for a widow to remarry, it was not appropriate for a son to marry his widowed step-mother. Moses describes it as “uncovering his father’s nakedness.” 

The apostle Paul had to address this very issue taking place within the church in Corinth.

I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother. You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship. – 1 Corinthians 5:1-2 NLT

God has standards. And He requires that His people live up to those standards. As a holy and righteous God, He cannot allow those who bear His name to conduct themselves according to their own whims. Their sin natures will always lead to moral compromise and result in the defamation of God’s reputation. As His image-bearers, they were to honor His reputation through the way they conducted their lives.

The righteous behavior of God’s people is designed to display His righteousness to the world. They are to outwardly manifest His holiness through their willing obedience to His divine decrees. The laws governing their behavior came from a holy God. Their adherence to those laws was to be a visible expression of their love for Him. 

Jesus told His disciples, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15 ESV). Their obedience was less about displaying their own righteousness, than about expressing their love for the One who is righteous. Living set-apart lives, according to the righteous standards of a holy God, is a tangible way in which the people of God display for their love for Him.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Marriage Matters

13 “If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then hates her 14 and accuses her of misconduct and brings a bad name upon her, saying, ‘I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her evidence of virginity,’ 15 then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate. 16 And the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to marry, and he hates her; 17 and behold, he has accused her of misconduct, saying, “I did not find in your daughter evidence of virginity.” And yet this is the evidence of my daughter’s virginity.’ And they shall spread the cloak before the elders of the city. 18 Then the elders of that city shall take the man and whip him, 19 and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife. He may not divorce her all his days. 20 But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman, 21 then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done an outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her father's house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.” – Deuteronomy 22:13-21 ESV

We once again find ourselves in difficult and, this time, delicate territory. In this section, Moses is going to address the God-ordained institution of marriage. As we have already seen, God places a high value on all human relationships, but the one between a husband and wife carry special significance to God. All the way back in the book of
Genesis, we have the record of God’s creation of the first man and woman. 

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

“At last!” the man exclaimed.

“This one is bone from my bone,
    and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
    because she was taken from ‘man.’”

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. – Genesis 2:22-24 NLT

From the very beginning, God considered the union between a man and a woman to be much more than a physical or biological transaction involving sexual intercourse. And Jesus Himself provides us with important clarification on God’s view regarding marriage. When asked by the Pharisees if a man could divorce his wife for any reason, Jesus replied:

“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?…They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” – Matthew 19:4-5 NLT

The marriage union was to be a permanent one. Jesus and His heavenly Father both saw the relationship between a husband and his wife as a mystical comingling of two into one. And the act of intercourse was a part of this union between the two, as each gave to the other the gift of their own body for the purpose of procreation, but also pleasure. That is why Paul warned the Corinthian believers about the danger of sex outside of the marriage context.

And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” – 1 Corinthians 6:16 NLT

Sex outside of marriage creates an insoluble bond between the two parties. Their physical union was intended to be the consummation of their spiritual union. And God saw their sexual intimacy as a joining together of two souls.

And Paul went on to explain how a husband and wife should view their sexual relationship. The ubiquitous presence of sexual immorality was a constant threat to the sanctity of the marriage bed, so Paul warned that the husband and wife were to view their bodies as belonging to each another, not to themselves. They had no right to share themselves with anyone else.

…because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. – 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 NLT

Which brings us back to these rather strange rules regarding marriage found in Deuteronomy. In the first case, Moses outlines a situation in which a husband accuses his wife of lying about her virginity. The circumstance seems to involve a newly married couple because the husband states, “I married this woman but when I had sexual relations with her I discovered she was not a virgin!” (Deuteronomy 22:14 NLT).

Basically, the man married the girl, decided he did not really love her, and then spread rumors that she had been sexual promiscuous before he married her. In other words, he was accusing her of adultery, a crime punishable by death. This accusation would not only ruin her reputation, but it would also result in her being stoned to death. And the sense of the passage is that the man was simply looking for a good reason to divorce his wife.

In His sermon on the mount, Jesus had this to say regarding divorce: “But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery” (Matthew 5:32 NLT). It would have been easy for the man to level this accusation against his wife, providing him with a sure-fire excuse to divorce her. But Jesus would later provide further insight into the topic of divorce. At one point, He was asked by the Pharisees, “why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” (Matthew 19:7 NLT).

And Jesus replied to them, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful” (Matthew 19:8-9 NLT). God never intended for divorce to be an option. But the provision was provided for in the case of unfaithfulness.

So, the scenario in Deuteronomy involves a man charging his wife of unfaithfulness based on his claim that she had not been a virgin. But Moses provides a strange but culturally acceptable means by which the woman could prove her innocence. It was a common practice in that day for the parents of the bride to place a special cloth on the couple’s bed the night the marriage was to be consummated. The purpose behind the cloth is simple, albeit a bit graphic. The cloth was collected by the parents after the wedding night and kept as proof of the woman’s virginity, the blood found on it providing evidence of her virginity.

The father of the bride could bring this cloth before the authorities to clear his daughter’s name and spare her from death. If the evidence was accepted, the husband was denied his request for divorce and required to pay a hefty fine to her parents. Not only that, he was obligated to remain permanently married to his wife. One of the things that is obvious in all of this is the young girl’s lack of input in all of this. She seems to have no say in any of it. Even the fine was paid to her parents, not to her. The only benefits she received was the clearing of her name and her release from the death sentence. She was still obligated to remain married to a man whom the text clearly states hated her.

But if the man’s charge against her proved to be true and no evidence was found of her virginity, she was to be stoned to death for the crime of adultery. Moses describes her actions as “an outrageous thing in Israel” and accuses her of “whoring in her father's house” (Deuteronomy 22:21 ESV). Prior to her marriage, she would have been living at home with her parents. And while under her father’s roof and protection, she would have committed an act of sexual immorality. This was unacceptable behavior under the Mosaic Law and punishable by death.

But what is the point behind all of this? As we have seen before, God had rules that governed virtually every aspect of life within the Israelite community. He cared deeply about their relationships and wanted all that they did to reflect their status as His chosen people. And because marriage was a God-ordained institution, He created rules to govern the conduct between a husband and a wife. Virginity was given a high priority by God because of the concept of union. Purity was and still is essential to God. Honesty and integrity are non-negotiable attributes that God demands of His people. This entire scenario involves different aspects of falsehood and deception. Either the husband falsely accusing his wife of adultery or the wife attempting to hide the fact that she was not what she claimed to be when he married her. None of this was God’s way. Marriage was too important. The marriage bed was too precious. The union between a husband and wife was too holy.

But the saddest part of this entire passage is the very fact that Moses even had to address this issue at all. It reveals the underlying nature of mankind’s sin problem. God had set apart the people of Israel as His own, but He was constantly having to put restrictions on their behavior to keep them from following their sinful inclinations.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson