Looks Can’t Last, But Friendship Lasts

Maidens

9 What is your beloved more than another beloved,
    O most beautiful among women?
What is your beloved more than another beloved,
    that you thus adjure us?

She

10 My beloved is radiant and ruddy,
    distinguished among ten thousand.
11 His head is the finest gold;
    his locks are wavy,
    black as a raven.
12 His eyes are like doves
    beside streams of water,
bathed in milk,
    sitting beside a full pool.
13 His cheeks are like beds of spices,
    mounds of sweet-smelling herbs.
His lips are lilies,
    dripping liquid myrrh.
14 His arms are rods of gold,
    set with jewels.
His body is polished ivory,
    bedecked with sapphires.
15 His legs are alabaster columns,
    set on bases of gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon,
    choice as the cedars.
16 His mouth is most sweet,
    and he is altogether desirable.
This is my beloved and this is my friend,
    O daughters of Jerusalem. – Song of Solomon 5:9-16 ESV

Not to be outdone by her husband’s penchant for over-the-top rhetoric, the newly married and still love-struck bride attempts to one-up his earlier metaphor-laden description of her with an overly flattering and imagery-intense portrait of him. What follows is another exaggerated and somewhat exasperating display of blind love that makes for difficult reading. She appears to be answering a query from the same group of single women whom she asked for assistance locating her missing husband. They want to know why they should bother to help her when it looks like he has walked out on her.

“Why is your lover better than all others,
    O woman of rare beauty?
What makes your lover so special
    that we must promise this?” – Song of Solomon 5:9 NLT

It’s impossible to know whether this group of still-single maidens actually existed and bothered to ask these questions, but it provides the perfect excuse for the bride to wax eloquent about her husband’s superior physical attributes. Don’t overlook the fact that during her lengthy answer, she fails to say anything about his character; it’s all about his looks. He’s ruggedly handsome with a dark complexion and a full head of thick wavy black hair.  His eyes are mesmerizing and appear like two shimmering jewels floating in a milky white background. His gaze is captivating and it seems that she believes he only has eyes for her.

It may be that Solomon had a full beard which he regularly perfumed with exotic spices.

His cheeks are like gardens of spices
    giving off fragrance. – Song of Solomon 5:13 NLT

He looked and smelled great. Not only that, she found his lips to be enticing and his physique to be more than pleasing to her eyes. One gets the impression that she regularly lusted after her husband’s well-toned body. From his head to his toes, Solomon was a delight to her eyes and a source of passionate desire. She sums it all up by stating, “he is desirable in every way” (Song of Solomon 5:16 NLT). In other words, he was a keeper. Despite her recent dream and its unexpected depiction of his sudden disappearance, she was still greatly in love and desired to be with him.

But she caps off her description of Solomon with the following words, “This is my beloved and this is my friend…” (Song of Solomon 5:16 ESV). Yes, she was deeply in love with his body and infatuated with his physical appearance but, even more importantly, she viewed Solomon as her closest friend. And this admission of her friendship with Solomon speaks volumes about their relationship. She saw him as her dearest and most treasured companion; her partner who would accompany her through all the seasons of life. His physical appearance may change over the years. His hair could turn grey or simply turn loose. Over time, his well-toned body could grow flabby and frail. His eyes could grow dim with age and his strength could diminish with time. But their friendship would persist. Her infatuation would be buoyed by tender-hearted affection for her soulmate and friend.

While the following verse has been memorialized as a compliment of “The Proverbs 31 Woman,” it could just as easily be amended to speak on behalf of a wife in gratitude for her godly husband.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a [man] who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. – Proverbs 31:30 NLT

Solomon wouldn’t stay young forever. His body would not maintain its youthful vigor and energy. But despite the passing of time and the loss of his good looks, he could continue to be his wife’s best friend for a lifetime.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Awkward Reading But An Awesome Reminder

He

1 Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
    behold, you are beautiful!
Your eyes are doves
    behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
    leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes
    that have come up from the washing,
all of which bear twins,
    and not one among them has lost its young.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet thread,
    and your mouth is lovely.
Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
    behind your veil.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
    built in rows of stone;
on it hang a thousand shields,
    all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
    twins of a gazelle,
    that graze among the lilies.
6 Until the day breathes
    and the shadows flee,
I will go away to the mountain of myrrh
    and the hill of frankincense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my love;
    there is no flaw in you.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride;
    come with me from Lebanon.
Depart from the peak of Amana,
    from the peak of Senir and Hermon,
from the dens of lions,
    from the mountains of leopards.

9 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
    you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes,
    with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
    How much better is your love than wine,
    and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
11 Your lips drip nectar, my bride;
    honey and milk are under your tongue;
    the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 A garden locked is my sister, my bride,
    a spring locked, a fountain sealed.
13 Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates
    with all choicest fruits,
    henna with nard,
14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
    with all trees of frankincense,
myrrh and aloes,
    with all choice spices—
15 a garden fountain, a well of living water,
    and flowing streams from Lebanon.

She

16 Awake, O north wind,
    and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
    let its spices flow.

Let my beloved come to his garden,
    and eat its choicest fruits. – Song of Solomon 4:1-16 ESV

This chapter is filled with so much semantical hyperbole it’s almost difficult to read. Solomon’s attempt to describe his bride’s beauty is so over the top that it borders on the ridiculous and comes across as almost comical. His description of her eyes being like two doves behind a veil is quite a poetic and alluring visual that achieves its objective, but when ventures into characterizing the stunning beauty of her teeth he seems to go a bit too far.

“Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes
    that have come up from the washing,
all of which bear twins,
    and not one among them has lost its young.” – Song of Solomon 4:2 ESV 

His point is well made if not a tad bit overdone. It’s clear that he admires the vivid whiteness and flawless quality of her teeth but his attempt to describe them seems a little overzealous and unnecessary. But then again, it is poetry and these words are written by a man who is completely smitten by the love of his life. As he gazes at her in all her bridal splendor, he isn’t necessarily thinking rationally. It isn’t that his words have left him but that they are coming out in a jumbled cacophony of love-infused rhetoric.

Some scholars believe the context of the poem has moved from the day of the marriage ceremony to the evening in which the marriage would be consummated. This might explain some of Solomon’s over-the-top descriptive flourishes. If this is indeed his wedding night, his verbosity is nothing more than a case of nerves; he is overcome by the intensity and intimacy of the moment. We’ll graciously cut him some slack for his gratuitous use of over-embellished similes and metaphors. He can’t help himself.

It’s obvious to all that Solomon is enthralled by his bride’s stunning beauty. On this momentous night, he can see no wrong in her. Everything about her is beyond perfect - from head to toe. Her dark flowing hair reminds him of a flock of goats slowly descending a hillside in an undulating pattern. At this point in the evening, everything is operating in slow motion for Solomon. His mind is fully engaged in the moment.

The Scriptures declare Solomon to be the wisest man who ever lived.

God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding beyond measure, and breadth of mind like the sand on the seashore, so that Solomon's wisdom surpassed the wisdom of all the people of the east and all the wisdom of Egypt. For he was wiser than all other men… – 1 Kings 4:29-31 ESV

We also know that Solomon was a prolific writer, having authored 3,000 proverbs and 1005 songs (1 King 4:32). But when it came time to record his first impressions of his bride on their wedding night, it was as if Solomon’s writing skills abandoned him. He is stringing words together in a stream of consciousness that flows from his heart but seems to fail to engage with his mind. Whether his bride would have found any of these descriptions to be flattering is difficult to say. But Solomon means each and every one of them.

And as he works his way down from her eyes to her hair, then from her mouth to her neck, things begin to heat up. By the time he reaches her breasts, Solomon’s intensity level has reached a fever pitch. It’s almost as if his physical passions have taken over and his mental faculties have completely disengaged. His descriptions reach the point of no return as he desperately tries to communicate what he is seeing and how it is impacting him. For the reader, this is painfully awkward territory. One almost wants to scream, “Put your pen down, Solomon!”

But the writer in Solomon can’t stop himself from trying to convey his thoughts at that intimate and intensely satisfying moment.

“Your two breasts are like two fawns,
    twins of a gazelle,
    that graze among the lilies.” – Song of Solomon 4:5 ESV

One can only hope that Solomon wrote all this after the fact. Surely these were not the words he spoke to his bride on their wedding night. It becomes almost comical to think about Solomon waxing grandiloquent as he gazed at the naked body of his bride. While intended to be flattering, his words paint a rather bizarre image that is difficult to reconcile with the intimate nature of the moment. Once again, the reader is left to hurry past the sheer awkwardness of Solomon’s passion-induced prose disguised as poetry and, thankfully, he provides a much-needed respite.

In the following verses, Solomon calls his bride to leave behind her past and join him in their new life together.

“Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
    come with me from Lebanon.
Come down from Mount Amana,
    from the peaks of Senir and Hermon,
where the lions have their dens
    and leopards live among the hills.” – Song of Solomon 4:8 NLT

Their wedding night is just the beginning of a grand new adventure in which they will forge a new path as husband and wife. Solomon is clearly excited about the prospect of walking through life with his new bride and her physical beauty certainly makes the prospect of a long and happy marriage that much more attractive. He uses a series of phrases to convey her hold over him.

“You have captured my heart…” – vs 9 (NLT)

“You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes…” – vs 9 (NLT)

“Your love delights me…” – vs 10 (NLT)

“Your love is better than wine…” – vs 10 (NLT)

“Your lips are as sweet as nectar…” – vs 11 (NLT)

“You are my private garden, my treasure…” – vs 12 (NLT)

This man is in love and, as before, he cannot stop himself from expressing that love with a steady flow of rhetorical flourishes that seem excessively overwrought. It’s not that he’s trying too hard but that his love has literally left him without the proper words to express what he is thinking and feeling. This author par excellence has become like a giddy schoolboy trying to pen a love letter to his first junior-high crush. 

And the entire chapter ends with his bride inviting Solomon to stop talking and consummate their marital relationship. It was time to put down the pen and experience life together, with all its God-ordained passions, pleasures, and joys. This was to be a moment neither one of them would soon forget and it perfectly reflects the beauty of the intimate relationship that God had in mind when He created man and woman and placed them in the bounds of the marital union He had designed for them.

This passage, while somewhat difficult to read because of its awkward intimacy, is designed to paint a glowing image of God’s gracious plan for sexuality and marital intimacy. The author of Hebrews provides a stern warning to preserve the sanctity of marriage at all costs.

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. – Hebrews 13:4 NLT

The wedding night of Solomon and his bride was meant to seal the covenant they had made to one another in their wedding ceremony. They were now committed to one another for life – in the eyes of God. And as Jesus so poignantly put it, “They are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6 ESV).

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

All for the Glory of God

20 “You shall command the people of Israel that they bring to you pure beaten olive oil for the light, that a lamp may regularly be set up to burn. 21 In the tent of meeting, outside the veil that is before the testimony, Aaron and his sons shall tend it from evening to morning before the Lord. It shall be a statute forever to be observed throughout their generations by the people of Israel.

1 “Then bring near to you Aaron your brother, and his sons with him, from among the people of Israel, to serve me as priests—Aaron and Aaron's sons, Nadab and Abihu, Eleazar and Ithamar. 2 And you shall make holy garments for Aaron your brother, for glory and for beauty. 3 You shall speak to all the skillful, whom I have filled with a spirit of skill, that they make Aaron’s garments to consecrate him for my priesthood. 4 These are the garments that they shall make: a breastpiece, an ephod, a robe, a coat of checker work, a turban, and a sash. They shall make holy garments for Aaron your brother and his sons to serve me as priests. 5 They shall receive gold, blue and purple and scarlet yarns, and fine twined linen.” – Exodus 27:20-28:5 ESV

The Tabernacle was no ordinary structure. It was to be God’s earthly residence and, as such, it was to be built of the finest materials according to a divinely ordained plan. And within its perimeter fence and inner walls there were a number of unique pieces of furniture that set it apart as a temple or sanctuary. There was the Bronze Altar in the courtyard, designed for the offering of sacrifices to Yahweh. Located within the Holy Place were the Altar of Incense, Golden Candlestick, and Table of Showbread. And sequestered inside the Holy of Holies was the Ark of the Covenant with the Mercy Seat resting upon it. Each of these holy objects was designed to make this tent a temple to the worship of Yahweh and, like any temple, it required priests to serve as mediators between the people and their deity.

In the case of the Tabernacle, God assigned the priestly role to Aaron and his sons. Aaron would serve as the first high priest and his sons, Nadab and Abihu, would serve alongside him. Like the Tabernacle itself and all the elements contained within it, Aaron and his sons were to be set apart and consecrated for the service of God. 

Moses and Aaron were brothers and members of the tribe of Levi.

The sons of Levi were Gershon, Kohath, and Merari. The descendants of Kohath included Amram, Izhar, Hebron, and Uzziel. The children of Amram were Aaron, Moses, and Miriam. The sons of Aaron were Nadab, Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar. – 1 Chronicles 6:1-3 NLT

When God had called Moses to deliver the people of Israel from their bondage in Egypt, He had agreed to send Aaron, the older brother of Moses as an assistant.

“Is there not Aaron, your brother, the Levite? I know that he can speak well. Behold, he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth, and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth and will teach you both what to do. He shall speak for you to the people, and he shall be your mouth, and you shall be as God to him.” – Exodus 4:14-18 ESV

Aaron served alongside Moses during their days in Egypt as they attempted to secure the release of God’s people, then he assisted his brother as they journeyed across the wilderness to Sinai. And it was at Sinai that God set aside Aaron to serve as the first high priest of Israel and assigned his tribe to the care and maintenance of the Tabernacle.

“Bring your relatives of the tribe of Levi—your ancestral tribe—to assist you and your sons as you perform the sacred duties in front of the Tabernacle of the Covenant. But as the Levites go about all their assigned duties at the Tabernacle, they must be careful not to go near any of the sacred objects or the altar. If they do, both you and they will die. The Levites must join you in fulfilling their responsibilities for the care and maintenance of the Tabernacle, but no unauthorized person may assist you.” – Numbers 18:2-4 NLT

  God’s house required careful attention. It was to be considered holy and treated with the utmost care. This was no ordinary structure so it required extraordinary measures to ensure that it remained holy and free from defilement. Every facet of its maintenance was assigned to Aaron and his relatives, with special emphasis placed on Aaron, Nadab, and Abihu. These men were to serve as intercessors for the people before God, with the sobering responsibility to keep themselves and the Tabernacle itself pure and holy.

The people provided the materials used to construct the Tabernacle and its accouterments, but it was Aaron and his sons who were responsible for the ongoing care and utilization of this sacred structure and its content. God commanded the people to supply “pure beaten olive oil for the light, that a lamp may regularly be set up to burn” (Exodus 27:20 ESV). This oil would have been of the highest quality, carefully purified so that it would burn with a minimum of smoke. But it was up to Aaron and his sons to pour the oil into the seven lamps located on the Golden Lampstand within the Holy Place.

Aaron and his sons shall tend it from evening to morning before the Lord. It shall be a statute forever to be observed throughout their generations by the people of Israel. – Exodus 27:21 ESV

From this point forward, Aaron and his sons would no longer be free to live their lives according to their own wills. They belonged to God and were obligated to spend the rest of their lives serving at His behest. Their role was sacred and to be taken seriously because it ensured the ongoing presence of God.

The role of the priesthood of Israel was not just ceremonial in nature. It was both practical and essential for maintaining the purity of the Tabernacle so that God’s presence would remain among His people. Aaron and his sons had to ensure that the lamps in the Golden Lampstand were always lit and properly maintained. They were also responsible for preparing the bread of the presence that was located on the Table of Showbread in the Holy Place.

“You must bake twelve flat loaves of bread from choice flour, using four quarts of flour for each loaf. Place the bread before the Lord on the pure gold table, and arrange the loaves in two stacks, with six loaves in each stack. Put some pure frankincense near each stack to serve as a representative offering, a special gift presented to the Lord. Every Sabbath day this bread must be laid out before the Lord as a gift from the Israelites; it is an ongoing expression of the eternal covenant.” – Leviticus 24:5-8 NLT

And each Sabbath, when Aaron and his sons replaced the bread of the presence with fresh loaves, they were allowed to consume the leftovers, as long as they did so in a holy place. God shared what had been dedicated to Him with His servants. These men were expected to serve the Lord day and night. They were commanded to tend the Golden Lampstand “from evening to morning before the Lord” (Exodus 27:21 ESV), so that the flames would never go out within the sanctuary of God. And the people of Israel found great comfort in knowing that God’s house was always under the watchful eye of His servants.

Years later, long after the Temple in Jerusalem had superseded the Tabernacle as the primary house of God, the people of Israel would gratefully acknowledge the priests for their role in its care and maintenance.

Oh, praise the Lord, all you servants of the Lord,
    you who serve at night in the house of the Lord.
Lift your hands toward the sanctuary,
    and praise the Lord.

May the Lord, who made heaven and earth,
    bless you from Jerusalem. – Psalm 134:1-3 NLT

The first men to serve in this illustrious capacity were Aaron and his sons. God hand-selected them to perform the sacred role of the priesthood.

“Call for your brother, Aaron, and his sons, Nadab, Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar. Set them apart from the rest of the people of Israel so they may minister to me and be my priests.” – Exodus 28:1 NLT

God had Moses “set them apart.” In a sense, He was commanding that these men be separated from the rest of the nation of Israel and given an assignment that was not to be fulfilled by anyone else. And to help accentuate the distinctive nature of their role, God commanded that they be given garments that would set them apart.

“Make sacred garments for Aaron that are glorious and beautiful. Instruct all the skilled craftsmen whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom. Have them make garments for Aaron that will distinguish him as a priest set apart for my service.” – Exodus 28:2-3 NLT

These “sacred garments” were meant to distinguish Aaron and his sons from the rest of the Israelite community. The Hebrew word for “sacred” is קֹדֶשׁ (qōḏeš), and it refers to that which is holy and set apart to God. The distinctive and beautifully crafted garments would serve as visual reminders to the rest of the Israelites that these men were agents and servants of God. They belonged to Him and were to be treated with dignity and honor. And these glorious and beautiful robes were also meant to remind Aaron and his sons that they were servants of the Most High God. In a sense, the clothes were intended to be signs of ownership and symbols of the sacred role of the priest.

“These garments were set apart for sacred duty: holy clothes for a holy calling. What the high priest wore showed that what he did – whether it was lighting the lampstand or offering sacrifices on the altar – was holy before God.” – Philip Graham Ryken, Exodus: Saved For God’s Glory

Like the Tabernacle in which he served, the high priest was robed in the finest fabrics. His garments were intended to reflect the glory of God. They were not a status symbol meant to inflate Aaron’s ego. Their glorious and beautiful design was a reflection of God’s majesty and transcendence. God’s house and servants were immaculately robed in splendor so that they might depict His glory and greatness among the people. As David later wrote in one of his Psalms, even the angels in heaven were created to bring glory and honor to God.

Honor the Lord, you heavenly beings;
    honor the Lord for his glory and strength.
Honor the Lord for the glory of his name.
    Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness. – Psalm 29:1-2 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A Woman of God

10 An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
    she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
    and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
    when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates. – Proverbs 31:10-31 ESV

It would seem that King Lemuel had a mother whose praises he was eager to sing. These closing verses of chapter 31 are a testimony to his mother’s character and the impact she had made on his life. For Lemuel, the woman who had raised him and inculcated words of wisdom into his life became the model for what it means to be a godly mother and wife. 

Lemuel had high standards when it came to looking for a wife. And his mother had warned him not to waste his time and energy pursuing women whose lack of moral integrity and character would only end up damaging his reputation and his reign. As a king, Lemuel would have had no shortage of potential marriage candidates. There would have been an endless supply of young ladies eager to win the attention of the king and secure themselves a permanent place by his side as queen. So, as Lemuel wrestled with the weight of finding a suitable mate, he was forced to admit:

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies. – Proverbs 31:2 NLT

Lemuel bemoans the fact that finding a good wife is difficult work but well worth the effort. As he considers his own mother’s life and legacy, he recognizes the value of setting a high standard and refusing to settle for less. 

We all know how difficult it can be to find the "right" person to spend the rest of your life with. But Lemuel’s advice is to take your time and wait until you discover someone whose life is marked by godly characteristics that are of surpassing value and worth. King Lemuel poses a wonderful question when he asks, "Who can find a wife of noble character?" He compares the search for such a woman to the quest for a priceless jewel. She is rare and extremely valuable, and well worth searching and waiting for.

Lemuel goes on to list the kinds of qualities that mark the virtuous woman, and it is an extensive and impressive list. She will be trustworthy, faithful, hardworking, industrious, diligent, entrepreneurial, energetic, strong, caring, compassionate, wise, and godly. And those qualities will not only make her an excellent wife, but an influential mother, friend, and neighbor.

She will fear God and love her family. But what's interesting is that King Lemuel spends no time describing her looks. In fact, he states that "charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT). But then as now, culture puts a high priority on charm and beauty. Looks are important, and Lemuel is not dismissing the importance of physical attraction. He is simply stating that beauty can be skin deep and, when looking for a wife, you want to look beneath the surface.

To be honest, I was first attracted to my wife because of her looks, but then I quickly discovered her charm. As I spent more with her, I realized there was more to her beauty than had first met my eye. I was fortunate to discover that she was also a "woman who fears the Lord" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT).

One of the greatest desires of any parent is for their son to find a woman whose life will be characterized by the qualities found in these verses. And for Christian parents, one of the most important characteristics we pray for in our future daughter-in-laws is that they fear the Lord. We long for our son to find a woman who loves, respects, and reverences God and who displays a steady and growing dependence upon Him.

Lemuel's concept of an ideal wife is a woman who answers to God. She is committed to living for God. She is learning to rest in God. And what father would not want his son to find a woman like that. Let’s face it, there are many beautiful, charming women in the world, but who can find a woman of noble character? Those kinds of women are few and far between. They are rare and priceless. They are limited to those who have given their lives to Christ and who are willing to allow Him to so radically change their hearts that they become priceless treasures in His hands. They are the ones who have allowed God to transform their lives in such a way that their inner beauty far surpasses their physical looks. Beauty fades but character lasts.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. – Proverbs 31:30 NLT

According to Lemuel, what makes a woman truly attractive is the godly character that far surpasses any outward charm they may possess. The apostle Peter describes it as a “beauty that comes from within.” And he encourages godly women to place a higher priority on cultivating their inner character than they do on enhancing their outer beauty

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. – 1 Peter 3:3-4 NLT

That kind of woman will greatly enrich any man's life, and he will find she is well worth searching and waiting for. He will learn that she is of extreme value and deserves a husband who is also a man of noble, moral, and upright character. He will be motivated to display a character that is in keeping with hers. His love for and fear of God will mirror that of his wife. And sadly, those kinds of marriages seem to be few and far between. But they're worth praying and waiting for.

In a society obsessed with outer beauty, it pays to be reminded that God looks at the heart. He is not impressed with externals. He does not measure our value based on our good looks or outer attractiveness. God is all about inner character. He sees what others too often fail to see and what most of us even refuse to look for. In this famous Proverb, King Lemuel describes a most impressive woman. She is industrious, a successful businesswoman, a loving mother, a highly disciplined worker, a caring friend, and a dedicated wife. In fact, this woman is almost too good to be true. But I don't think the point of this Proverb is to hold up this woman as a model for all women to follow. Lemuel is simply reminding us that character counts.

It is what is on the inside that gives our lives value. This woman’s industry and hard work are laudable, but they are not the point. Hard work can simply become another form of idol worship, leading to workaholism and self-sufficiency. While King Lemuel describes this woman as dressing in fine linen and purple gowns, he says, “She is clothed with dignity and strength” (Proverbs 31:25 NLT).

Her inner character was outwardly visible by virtue of the way she lived her life. She worked hard out of love for her family, rather than love of self. She was industrious because she cared for others more than she cared for herself. This woman feared God. She had a reverence for God that drove her actions and determined her attitude about everything. Verse 10 describes her as "virtuous." That word really has to do with inner strength. She was trustworthy, good, hard-working, discerning, compassionate, giving, humble, wise, kind, loving, and worthy of praise from both her children and her husband. Why? Because she had an inner beauty that was far more than skin deep. It was the byproduct of time spent with God.

If some of us, both men and women, spent more time in the Word and less time in the gym or in front of the mirror, we might exhibit more of the character qualities this woman possessed. If we cared more about the condition of our souls than we did about our bodies, we would be far more attractive to the world around us.

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman [or man] who lives in the Fear-of-GOD. – Proverbs 31:30 MSG

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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Rare, But Worth Looking For.

Proverbs 31

“Who can find a wife of noble character? For her value is far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 NET

As a father of two sons, I have certain affinity with this verse. Both of my sons are unmarried at the moment. One is yet too young to even be considering it, but the other is in the prime age for finding a wife. Yet I am in no rush to see him get married. This verse is part of the reason. Having had to counsel far more struggling marriages than I would care to count, I know how difficult it can be to find the "right" person to spend the rest of your life with. I also know my son well enough to know that he is going to bring certain baggage of his own to the relationship. He has much spiritual maturing to do before he is ready to consider the considerable challenge of marriage. But King Lemuel poses a wonderful question when he asks, "Who can find a wife of noble character?" He compares the search for such a woman to looking for a ruby. She is rare and extremely valuable, and well worth the search and the wait.

Proverbs 31 then goes on to list the kinds of qualities this woman might have. It is an extensive and impressive list. She is trustworthy, faithful, hardworking, industrious, diligent, entrepreneurial, energetic, strong, caring, compassionate, wise, and godly. She is an excellent wife and mother, friend and neighbor. She fears God and loves her family. But what's interesting is that King Lemuel spends no time describing her looks. All he says is that "charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT). But as a man, I know how important charm and beauty are to both my sons, because they were important to me. I was first attracted to my wife because of her looks, then I quickly discovered her charm. But it took time before I realized what was beneath the surface. I was fortunate to discover that she was also a "woman who fears the Lord" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT). One of my greatest prayers and desires is that my sons find a woman like their mother. She exhibits so many of the qualities listed in this Proverb. But the one that has come to mean the most to me is that she fears the Lord. She has a love, respect, awe, and reverence for God, and a steadily growing dependence on Him. She answers to God. She is committed to living for God. She is learning to rest in God. And I want my sons to find a woman like that. There are many beautiful, charming women in the world, but who can find a woman of noble character? Those kind of women are few and far between. They are rare and priceless. They are limited to those who have given their lives to Christ and who are willing to allow Him to so radically change their hearts that they become priceless treasures in His hands. They are the ones who have allowed God transform their lives in such a way that their inner beauty far surpasses their physical looks. What makes them attractive is who God has made them to be – on the inside. That kind of woman will greatly enrich any man's life. He will find she is well worth waiting for. He will learn that she is of extreme value and deserves a husband who is also a man of noble, moral, upright character. His character will match hers. His love for and fear of God will mirror hers. Those kinds of individuals are few and far between. Those kinds of marriages are as well. But they're worth praying and waiting for.

Father, thank You for blessing my life with the kind of woman described in this passage. No, she is not perfect, but she is a blessing to my life because she has chosen to make You her highest priority. I pray that You will help my sons to search for and wait for the same kind of woman to come into their lives. And may they continue to prepare themselves to be godly men who will honor, love and lead their wives and families as You have called them to do. Amen.

The Godly Woman.

Proverbs 31

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. ­– Proverbs 31:30 NLT

We are a surface-only society. We are intrigued by externals and have no desire to look too deep. Having grown up on a steady diet of TV and movies, we are prone to judge others by their looks, the clothes they wear, or the kind of car they drive. The usual thing we ask one another when we meet for the first time is, "What do you do?" At the grocery store checkout line we are surrounded by images of beautiful people on the cover of magazines that offer us solutions to all of life's problems – from how to have better sex to how to make millions with little investment or energy. We live in a society where image is everything. Andy Warhol's famous "15-minutes of fame" has stretched into the length of a 30-minute reality TV show, with everyone from lobstermen to ice-truck drivers turning into household names. Other than the tabloid rumors we hear about various celebrities, what do we know about these TV and movie stars we watch each day? How well do we really know the beautiful actresses and recording artists who grace the magazine covers or walk the red carpet at star-studded events? But it doesn't stop there. Think about the people you attend church with. Which ones tend to catch your eye? Probably the beautiful ones – those handsome, successful-looking individuals who wear the latest fashions, drive the nicest cars, and carry themselves with a sense of confidence. But what do we really know about them? What are they really like on the inside?

In this final Proverb, we read those famous lines about the "Proverbs 31 woman." This unnamed, unknown woman has become an icon of virtue for women around the world. She has been held up as the poster-woman of what it means to be a godly woman. For some she is a model to follow, providing them with motivation to pursue excellence as a woman. For others, this woman represents an unachievable and unrealistic picture of the godly woman that always leaves them lacking. For them, the Proverbs 31 woman sets too high a bar. But the real story behind this woman begins on the inside. Her accomplishments are impressive, but they are nothing compared to what really makes her tick – her fear of the Lord. She was first and foremost a godly woman not because of all that she DID, but because of who she KNEW. She knew God and feared Him. She loved God and worshiped Him. Her actions and activities flowed from a heart that loved and feared God. In our society, looks are everything. Beauty and attractiveness are what matters most. How we appear on the outside means far more than what we are like on the inside. But as the writer of Proverbs 31 states, "charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting." Looks can be deceiving. You can't judge a book by its cover – but we do – every day of our lives. Beauty doesn't last, but that doesn't stop us from making it the primary criteria upon which to build our relationships. We love beautiful, successful-looking people. But the woman of Proverbs 31 was successful on the inside. She was charming, but it was a charm that flowed from a truly loving heart. It was not fake or manufactured charm. She was probably beautiful, obviously hard-working, and highly successful. But without the fear of God, none of this would have had any value. She was a wife of noble character. Isn't that what our world really needs? Isn't that what the marriages in our churches really need? Isn't that what we should want for our daughters? But in our celebrity-saturated society, noble character is hard to come by and seldom even looked for. We live in a world where it's more important that you BE a character than have it. Charlie Sheen, Lindsey Lohan, Brittany Spears, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus – the list goes on and on. They're in the news. They are the news. They are the picture of what it means to be "successful" in our society. But King Lemuel reminds us what real success looks like. And it begins with integrity, character, and a fear of the Lord.

Father, we celebrate the wrong things in this world. We elevate the wrong behavior. We accentuate the temporal and downplay the eternal. Show us how to model godliness and promote it in the lives of our young people. Help us to understand the value of character that is based on a fear of You. We need depth in our lives. We need to know what really counts and what will really last. Charm can deceive and beauty fades away with time. But godly character lasts forever. Amen