Words Worth Heeding.

Proverbs 5

"Drink water from your own well – share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?" – Proverbs 5:15-16 NLT

These are the passionate words of a father to his son. He is pleading with him to remain faithful to his wife. It would appear that his son is not yet married, but that as a father, he is trying to teach him the time-tested value of faithfulness. As a man, he knows the temptations his son is going to face. And if this particular proverb is being written by Solomon, he of all people knows quite a bit about unfaithfulness and a whole lot about marriage. The book of 1 Kings tells us that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. In spite of God's prohibition against kings multiplying wives for themselves, "Solomon insisted on loving them anyway" (1 Kings 11:2b NLT). Solomon didn't just have sex with just anyone, he practically had sex with everyone. He was far from faithful to his 700 wives and 300 concubines. So it is a little ironic that he is giving his son this counsel, but we have to recognize it as the wisdom of God. Solomon, while not exactly an icon of virtue when it came to marriage and fidelity, was still the wisest man who ever lived and knew that he didn't want his own son following in his footsteps.

Yet even today, Solomon's words sound old-fashioned. He sounds so out of touch with reality. When he says, "Drink water from your won well – share your love only with your wife" (Proverbs 5:15 NLT), it sounds so antiquated and puritanical. In a do-whatever-feels-right kind of society in which we live where everything is driven by our passions, it comes across as so restrictive and unnecessary. Faithfulness has seemingly become a thing of the past. And Satan is constantly attacking marriages in an attempt to thwart God's plan for faithfulness. We see it modeled for us on TV in the fictional lives of the characters and in the tabloids in the real-life experiences of celebrities and stars. Unfaithfulness is big news and a popular pastime among all kinds of people. Yet God has called us to live out our lives in faithfulness. And He is watching. "For the Lord sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes" (Proverbs 5:21 NLT). God is aware of not only our unfaithful actions, but our unfaithful hearts. He sees our adulterous behavior, but also our equally adulterous thoughts. And He knows that both are driven by ungodly desires and aided by our lack of self-control. Left to our own devices, we are no match for the sinful passions that are hidden away in our hearts. Faithfulness can't be manufactured. It is a gift from God. Recognizing our propensity toward unfaithfulness and our own lack of self-control, should drive us to God for help. He alone can make us faithful. He alone can give us the love for our mates that we need to remain at their side through thick and thin. He alone can provide us with the strength to say no to temptation and to refuse the urges to give in to our sinful desires. Faithfulness is a gift from God. It is part of the wisdom He provides as we learn to seek Him and serve Him. He teaches us the value of faithfulness and then equips us with the strength to live it out in our daily relationships. It isn't old-fashioned. It's a new way of living life provided by a loving God and made possible by the Spirit of God living within us.

Father, I want to remain faithful to the wife of my youth. And I know that only You can make that possible. I admit to You my need for You. Open my eyes to my own weaknesses, and draw me closer to You for strength, wisdom and the desire to live in faithfulness in every area of my life. Amen

Rare, But Worth Looking For.

Proverbs 31

“Who can find a wife of noble character? For her value is far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 NET

As a father of two sons, I have certain affinity with this verse. Both of my sons are unmarried at the moment. One is yet too young to even be considering it, but the other is in the prime age for finding a wife. Yet I am in no rush to see him get married. This verse is part of the reason. Having had to counsel far more struggling marriages than I would care to count, I know how difficult it can be to find the "right" person to spend the rest of your life with. I also know my son well enough to know that he is going to bring certain baggage of his own to the relationship. He has much spiritual maturing to do before he is ready to consider the considerable challenge of marriage. But King Lemuel poses a wonderful question when he asks, "Who can find a wife of noble character?" He compares the search for such a woman to looking for a ruby. She is rare and extremely valuable, and well worth the search and the wait.

Proverbs 31 then goes on to list the kinds of qualities this woman might have. It is an extensive and impressive list. She is trustworthy, faithful, hardworking, industrious, diligent, entrepreneurial, energetic, strong, caring, compassionate, wise, and godly. She is an excellent wife and mother, friend and neighbor. She fears God and loves her family. But what's interesting is that King Lemuel spends no time describing her looks. All he says is that "charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT). But as a man, I know how important charm and beauty are to both my sons, because they were important to me. I was first attracted to my wife because of her looks, then I quickly discovered her charm. But it took time before I realized what was beneath the surface. I was fortunate to discover that she was also a "woman who fears the Lord" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT). One of my greatest prayers and desires is that my sons find a woman like their mother. She exhibits so many of the qualities listed in this Proverb. But the one that has come to mean the most to me is that she fears the Lord. She has a love, respect, awe, and reverence for God, and a steadily growing dependence on Him. She answers to God. She is committed to living for God. She is learning to rest in God. And I want my sons to find a woman like that. There are many beautiful, charming women in the world, but who can find a woman of noble character? Those kind of women are few and far between. They are rare and priceless. They are limited to those who have given their lives to Christ and who are willing to allow Him to so radically change their hearts that they become priceless treasures in His hands. They are the ones who have allowed God transform their lives in such a way that their inner beauty far surpasses their physical looks. What makes them attractive is who God has made them to be – on the inside. That kind of woman will greatly enrich any man's life. He will find she is well worth waiting for. He will learn that she is of extreme value and deserves a husband who is also a man of noble, moral, upright character. His character will match hers. His love for and fear of God will mirror hers. Those kinds of individuals are few and far between. Those kinds of marriages are as well. But they're worth praying and waiting for.

Father, thank You for blessing my life with the kind of woman described in this passage. No, she is not perfect, but she is a blessing to my life because she has chosen to make You her highest priority. I pray that You will help my sons to search for and wait for the same kind of woman to come into their lives. And may they continue to prepare themselves to be godly men who will honor, love and lead their wives and families as You have called them to do. Amen.