A Woman of God

10 An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
    she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
    and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
    when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates. – Proverbs 31:10-31 ESV

It would seem that King Lemuel had a mother whose praises he was eager to sing. These closing verses of chapter 31 are a testimony to his mother’s character and the impact she had made on his life. For Lemuel, the woman who had raised him and inculcated words of wisdom into his life became the model for what it means to be a godly mother and wife. 

Lemuel had high standards when it came to looking for a wife. And his mother had warned him not to waste his time and energy pursuing women whose lack of moral integrity and character would only end up damaging his reputation and his reign. As a king, Lemuel would have had no shortage of potential marriage candidates. There would have been an endless supply of young ladies eager to win the attention of the king and secure themselves a permanent place by his side as queen. So, as Lemuel wrestled with the weight of finding a suitable mate, he was forced to admit:

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies. – Proverbs 31:2 NLT

Lemuel bemoans the fact that finding a good wife is difficult work but well worth the effort. As he considers his own mother’s life and legacy, he recognizes the value of setting a high standard and refusing to settle for less. 

We all know how difficult it can be to find the "right" person to spend the rest of your life with. But Lemuel’s advice is to take your time and wait until you discover someone whose life is marked by godly characteristics that are of surpassing value and worth. King Lemuel poses a wonderful question when he asks, "Who can find a wife of noble character?" He compares the search for such a woman to the quest for a priceless jewel. She is rare and extremely valuable, and well worth searching and waiting for.

Lemuel goes on to list the kinds of qualities that mark the virtuous woman, and it is an extensive and impressive list. She will be trustworthy, faithful, hardworking, industrious, diligent, entrepreneurial, energetic, strong, caring, compassionate, wise, and godly. And those qualities will not only make her an excellent wife, but an influential mother, friend, and neighbor.

She will fear God and love her family. But what's interesting is that King Lemuel spends no time describing her looks. In fact, he states that "charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT). But then as now, culture puts a high priority on charm and beauty. Looks are important, and Lemuel is not dismissing the importance of physical attraction. He is simply stating that beauty can be skin deep and, when looking for a wife, you want to look beneath the surface.

To be honest, I was first attracted to my wife because of her looks, but then I quickly discovered her charm. As I spent more with her, I realized there was more to her beauty than had first met my eye. I was fortunate to discover that she was also a "woman who fears the Lord" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT).

One of the greatest desires of any parent is for their son to find a woman whose life will be characterized by the qualities found in these verses. And for Christian parents, one of the most important characteristics we pray for in our future daughter-in-laws is that they fear the Lord. We long for our son to find a woman who loves, respects, and reverences God and who displays a steady and growing dependence upon Him.

Lemuel's concept of an ideal wife is a woman who answers to God. She is committed to living for God. She is learning to rest in God. And what father would not want his son to find a woman like that. Let’s face it, there are many beautiful, charming women in the world, but who can find a woman of noble character? Those kinds of women are few and far between. They are rare and priceless. They are limited to those who have given their lives to Christ and who are willing to allow Him to so radically change their hearts that they become priceless treasures in His hands. They are the ones who have allowed God to transform their lives in such a way that their inner beauty far surpasses their physical looks. Beauty fades but character lasts.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. – Proverbs 31:30 NLT

According to Lemuel, what makes a woman truly attractive is the godly character that far surpasses any outward charm they may possess. The apostle Peter describes it as a “beauty that comes from within.” And he encourages godly women to place a higher priority on cultivating their inner character than they do on enhancing their outer beauty

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. – 1 Peter 3:3-4 NLT

That kind of woman will greatly enrich any man's life, and he will find she is well worth searching and waiting for. He will learn that she is of extreme value and deserves a husband who is also a man of noble, moral, and upright character. He will be motivated to display a character that is in keeping with hers. His love for and fear of God will mirror that of his wife. And sadly, those kinds of marriages seem to be few and far between. But they're worth praying and waiting for.

In a society obsessed with outer beauty, it pays to be reminded that God looks at the heart. He is not impressed with externals. He does not measure our value based on our good looks or outer attractiveness. God is all about inner character. He sees what others too often fail to see and what most of us even refuse to look for. In this famous Proverb, King Lemuel describes a most impressive woman. She is industrious, a successful businesswoman, a loving mother, a highly disciplined worker, a caring friend, and a dedicated wife. In fact, this woman is almost too good to be true. But I don't think the point of this Proverb is to hold up this woman as a model for all women to follow. Lemuel is simply reminding us that character counts.

It is what is on the inside that gives our lives value. This woman’s industry and hard work are laudable, but they are not the point. Hard work can simply become another form of idol worship, leading to workaholism and self-sufficiency. While King Lemuel describes this woman as dressing in fine linen and purple gowns, he says, “She is clothed with dignity and strength” (Proverbs 31:25 NLT).

Her inner character was outwardly visible by virtue of the way she lived her life. She worked hard out of love for her family, rather than love of self. She was industrious because she cared for others more than she cared for herself. This woman feared God. She had a reverence for God that drove her actions and determined her attitude about everything. Verse 10 describes her as "virtuous." That word really has to do with inner strength. She was trustworthy, good, hard-working, discerning, compassionate, giving, humble, wise, kind, loving, and worthy of praise from both her children and her husband. Why? Because she had an inner beauty that was far more than skin deep. It was the byproduct of time spent with God.

If some of us, both men and women, spent more time in the Word and less time in the gym or in front of the mirror, we might exhibit more of the character qualities this woman possessed. If we cared more about the condition of our souls than we did about our bodies, we would be far more attractive to the world around us.

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman [or man] who lives in the Fear-of-GOD. – Proverbs 31:30 MSG

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Wine, Women, and Words

1 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:

2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb?
    What are you doing, son of my vows?
3 Do not give your strength to women,
    your ways to those who destroy kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel,
    it is not for kings to drink wine,
    or for rulers to take strong drink,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed
    and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing,
    and wine to those in bitter distress;
7 let them drink and forget their poverty
    and remember their misery no more.
8 Open your mouth for the mute,
    for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously,
    defend the rights of the poor and needy. – Proverbs 31:1-9 ESV

These proverbs are presented as the words of King Lemuel and the first nine verses come in the form of an oracle taught to him by his mother. The Hebrew word translated as “oracle” is maśśā' and it refers to a message with a heavy burden. These are weighty or substantive teachings that were passed down from mother to son and then collected for distribution in Solomon’s book of Proverbs.

It would appear that Lemuel was a foreign king because his name appears nowhere in the chronicles of the kings of Israel of Judah. He could have been a proselyte to Judaism and, therefore, a worshiper of Yahweh. His mother, the former queen, could have been a descendant of Abraham or a convert to Judaism who passed down her faith to her young son. If the remainder of the chapter is biographical in nature and refers to Lemuel’s mother, it would be safe to say that she was a godly woman and had a tremendous influence on her son.

Verses 2-9 are the loving words of a mother to her son but they are rather unique in that they address the dangers facing a king. These words of warning come from someone who seems to have had firsthand experience in the matters she raises. As the former queen, it is likely that she had seen her husband, Lemuel’s father, struggle with these matters.

Her words are rather succinct and deal with three main topics: Women, wine, and words. She presents the first two as potential hazards to be avoided. It is not that either is particularly evil but that, for a king, they can prove to be dangerous and even deadly. Perhaps her husband had been a philanderer who allowed his love for women to destroy his marriage and weaken his kingdom.

Over the centuries, there has been repeated speculation that Lemuel was a pen name for Solomon. That would make the mother referred to in this chapter none other than Bathsheba. She would have had ample knowledge of the seductive influence that a woman can have on a man. And she knew what it was like to be the target of a man’s fatal attraction. After all, as a married woman, she had been seduced by King David and committed adultery with him. In an attempt to cover up the son their sin produced, David had Bathsheba’s husband murdered. He then took Bathsheba to be his wife and she bore him a son, the fruit of their adulterous affair. But that son died in infancy, a punishment from God for David’s transgression. Then God blessed Bathsheba with another son, Solomon.

And when Solomon grew up and ascended to the throne of his father, it would make sense that Bathsheba would express concern about his apparent weakness for women.

“What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb?
    What are you doing, son of my vows?
Do not give your strength to women,
    your ways to those who destroy kings.” – Proverbs 31:2-3 ESV

The book of 1 Kings paints a rather lurid picture of Solomon’s attraction to the opposite sex.

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. The LORD had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the LORD.

In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the LORD his God, as his father, David, had been. – 1 Kings 11:1-4 NLT

Whether Lemuel was Solomon’s pseudonym and the loving mother in this passage was Bathsheba is all nothing more than speculation. But the biography of Solomon provides ample evidence that the maternal counsel found in this passage is more than merited.

But she didn’t stop there. She also warned her son about the dangers of wine.

It is not for kings, O Lemuel, to guzzle wine.
    Rulers should not crave alcohol. – Proverbs 31:4 NLT

This loving mother seems to have firsthand experience with the dangers of alcohol. Perhaps she had watched Lemuel’s father struggle with controlling his consumption of wine and had seen how it had negatively impacted his ability to rule wisely. So, she pleads with her son to practice moderation and self-control. Notice her words. She does not forbid the use of alcohol but warns against its abuse. Lemuel is not to “guzzle” wine. He is not to “crave alcohol.” In other words, Lemuel is to avoid addictive behavior.

While the Scriptures do not completely prohibit the use of alcohol, there are plenty of verses that warn against it. And while there are some religious groups that abuse and misinterpret these verses, there are just as many that ignore them altogether.

In our desire to justify our use of alcohol, we tend to portray the Scriptures as seemingly silent on the topic. But repeatedly in the Book of Proverbs, we have seen Solomon warn his sons about the inherent dangers of alcohol consumption. In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel is warned against drinking to excess. This passage isn't prohibiting the use of alcohol. In fact, in those days, to deny the use of alcohol in the court of a king would have been unheard of. It would have been absurd.

But excessive use of alcohol should be avoided at all times, especially by those who hold positions of responsibility and authority over the lives of others. The problem is that alcohol distorts the senses, muddies the mind, and can lead to poor decision-making. Whether you’re a king, national leader, company president, or a parent, the last thing you should want is to have your mind clouded by alcohol, rendering your judgment impaired and your ability to perform your responsibilities diminished.

There are far too many stories concerning wives whose husbands have struggled with a drinking problem. In many cases, these men were hard workers and loving husbands and fathers, who allowed alcohol to destroy their ability to lead and protect as they should. As Lemuel is warned, when they drink, they tend to make unwise decisions. They lose the capacity to think and rule wisely. Under the influence of alcohol, "they may forget the law and not give justice to the oppressed" (Proverbs 31:5 NLT).

They lose their moral bearings, their sense of right and wrong, and their understanding of justice. In the end, they make poor decisions that put their families at risk – financially, emotionally, and even physically. Alcohol in all its forms can be deadening and even deadly. Solomon warns us, "Wine produces mockers; alcohol leads to brawls. Those led astray by drink cannot be wise" (Proverbs 20:1 NLT). Here are a few of the other admonitions about wine and alcohol in the Book of Proverbs:

Those who love pleasure become poor;
    those who love wine and luxury will never be rich. – Proverbs 21:17 NLT

Wine produces mockers; alcohol leads to brawls.
    Those led astray by drink cannot be wise. – Proverbs 20:1 NLT

Don’t gaze at the wine, seeing how red it is,
    how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes down.
For in the end it bites like a poisonous snake;
    it stings like a viper.
You will see hallucinations,
    and you will say crazy things.
You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea,
    clinging to a swaying mast. – Proverbs 23:30-34 NLT

In Proverbs, wine and mixed drinks are closely associated with the wicked and the immoral woman. It is almost always used in the sense of excess and over-indulgence. It appeals to the sensual side of man. It can dull our senses and feed the sinful side of our sensual nature.

There is a need for wisdom when it comes to the use of alcohol. We must be fully aware of its dangers. We must acknowledge its ability to impact and impair our judgment. It is a mind-altering, mood-enhancing substance that, if used wisely and appropriately, can have positive benefits. But it can also be misused and abused. It can destroy and divide. It can be used to escape reality and avoid responsibility. It can bring pleasure but it can also produce immoral behavior.

The final word of motherly advice has to do with words. Lemuel’s mother warns him to watch his tongue. Just as women and wine can have a negative influence, so can words. As a king, Lemuel wielded tremendous power. With a word, he could condemn or commend. He could use his authority for good or evil. So, she calls on her son to use his sovereign power to protect the less fortunate within his kingdom.

Open your mouth for the mute,
    for the rights of all who are destitute.
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
    defend the rights of the poor and needy. – Proverbs 31:8-9 NLT

A wise king understands that he serves God and acts as a steward of His divine authority. God defends the downtrodden and disadvantaged and He expects His vice-regent to do the same. Lemuel’s mother wanted her son to use the power inherent in his words for the good of all. She longed for him to judge righteously and to rule wisely.

Women, wine, and words. These three simple topics have the capacity to make or break any man, especially a king. And Lemuel’s mother loved him enough to warn him to tread carefully with all three.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Some New Year's Eve Advice.

Proverbs 31

“It is not for kings, O Lemuel, to guzzle wine. Rulers should not crave alcohol. For if they drink, they may forget the law and not give justice to the oppressed.” – Proverbs 31:4-5 NET

There is no other day more associated with drinking and alcohol consumption than New Year's Day, and as we stand on the cusp of yet another year-end celebration, it's interesting that our Proverb for today carries a warning against the consumption of alcohol.

While the Scriptures do not completely prohibit the use of alcohol, there are plenty of verses that warn against it. Yes, there are some religious groups that abuse and misinterpret those verses, but there are just as many that ignore them altogether. In our desire to justify our use of alcohol, we tend to portray the Scriptures as seemingly silent on the topic. But repeatedly in the Book of Proverbs we have seen Solomon warn his sons, and vicariously, us as well, about the inherent dangers of alcohol consumption. In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel is warned against the guzzling of wine. This passage isn't prohibiting the use of alcohol, but the abuse of it. To deny the use of alcohol in the court of a king in those days would have been unheard of. It would have been absurd. But excessive use of alcohol should be avoided at all times, especially by those who hold positions of responsibility and authority over the lives of others. The problem is that alcohol distorts the senses, muddies the mind and can lead to poor decision making. Whether you're a king, national leader, company president, or parent, the last thing you should want is to have your mind clouded by alcohol, rendering your judgment impaired and your ability to perform your responsibilities diminished.

I have had far too many conversations with the wives of husbands who have a drinking problem. These men, while in most cases, hard workers and loving husbands and fathers, allow alcohol to destroy their ability to lead and protect as they should. As Lemuel is warned, when they drink, "they may forget the law and not give justice to the oppressed." They lose their moral bearings, their sense of right and wrong, their understanding of justice. In the end, they make unwise decisions and put their families at risk – financially, emotionally and even physically. Alcohol in all its forms can be deadly and deadening. Solomon warns us, "Wine produces mockers; alcohol leads to brawls. Those led astray by drink cannot be wise" (Proverbs 20:1 NLT). Here are a few of the other admonitions about wine and alcohol in the Book of Proverbs:

"Those who love pleasure become poor; those who love wine and luxury will never be rich." – Proverbs 21:17 NLT

"Wine produces mockers; alcohol leads to brawls. Those led astray by drink cannot be wise." – Proverbs 20:1 NLT

"Don’t gaze at the wine, seeing how red it is, how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes down. For in the end it bites like a poisonous snake; it stings like a viper." – Proverbs 23:30-32 NLT

In Proverbs, wine and mixed drinks are closely associated with the wicked and with the immoral woman. It is almost always used in the sense of excess and over-indulgence. It appeals to the senses and the sensual side of man. It can dull our senses and feed the sinful side of our sensual nature. There is a need for wisdom when it comes to the use of alcohol. We must be fully aware of its dangers. We must acknowledge its ability to impact and impair our judgment. It is a mind-altering, mood-enhancing substance that, if used wisely and appropriately, can have positive benefits. But it can also be misused and abused. It can destroy and divide. It can be used to escape reality and avoid responsibility. It can bring pleasure but it can also produce immoral behavior.

As we get ready to celebrate another New Year, alcohol will be a major player in many of the parties we attend. There will be the temptation to drink, and with it will come the risk of getting drunk. As a result, under the influence of alcohol, things will be said and done that would normally never take place. Guards will be let down, inhibitions will be let go of, and regrets will be many when it is all said and done. "Wine produces mockers; alcohol leads to brawls. Those led astray by drink cannot be wise" (Proverbs 20:1 NLT). Be careful out there! And Happy New Year!

Father, we need wisdom. Give us insight and understanding that we might make wise decisions when it comes to the use of alcohol in all its forms. Open our eyes to its uses and abuses. Don't let us think we can escape its dangers or that we are above its negative influences. We see the destructive nature of it in our society on a daily basis – lives ruined and even ended. In our pursuit of personal rights and pleasure, we tend to lose sight of reality and jettison our need for wisdom and understanding. Protect us from ourselves. Amen.

Rare, But Worth Looking For.

Proverbs 31

“Who can find a wife of noble character? For her value is far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 NET

As a father of two sons, I have certain affinity with this verse. Both of my sons are unmarried at the moment. One is yet too young to even be considering it, but the other is in the prime age for finding a wife. Yet I am in no rush to see him get married. This verse is part of the reason. Having had to counsel far more struggling marriages than I would care to count, I know how difficult it can be to find the "right" person to spend the rest of your life with. I also know my son well enough to know that he is going to bring certain baggage of his own to the relationship. He has much spiritual maturing to do before he is ready to consider the considerable challenge of marriage. But King Lemuel poses a wonderful question when he asks, "Who can find a wife of noble character?" He compares the search for such a woman to looking for a ruby. She is rare and extremely valuable, and well worth the search and the wait.

Proverbs 31 then goes on to list the kinds of qualities this woman might have. It is an extensive and impressive list. She is trustworthy, faithful, hardworking, industrious, diligent, entrepreneurial, energetic, strong, caring, compassionate, wise, and godly. She is an excellent wife and mother, friend and neighbor. She fears God and loves her family. But what's interesting is that King Lemuel spends no time describing her looks. All he says is that "charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT). But as a man, I know how important charm and beauty are to both my sons, because they were important to me. I was first attracted to my wife because of her looks, then I quickly discovered her charm. But it took time before I realized what was beneath the surface. I was fortunate to discover that she was also a "woman who fears the Lord" (Proverbs 31:30 NLT). One of my greatest prayers and desires is that my sons find a woman like their mother. She exhibits so many of the qualities listed in this Proverb. But the one that has come to mean the most to me is that she fears the Lord. She has a love, respect, awe, and reverence for God, and a steadily growing dependence on Him. She answers to God. She is committed to living for God. She is learning to rest in God. And I want my sons to find a woman like that. There are many beautiful, charming women in the world, but who can find a woman of noble character? Those kind of women are few and far between. They are rare and priceless. They are limited to those who have given their lives to Christ and who are willing to allow Him to so radically change their hearts that they become priceless treasures in His hands. They are the ones who have allowed God transform their lives in such a way that their inner beauty far surpasses their physical looks. What makes them attractive is who God has made them to be – on the inside. That kind of woman will greatly enrich any man's life. He will find she is well worth waiting for. He will learn that she is of extreme value and deserves a husband who is also a man of noble, moral, upright character. His character will match hers. His love for and fear of God will mirror hers. Those kinds of individuals are few and far between. Those kinds of marriages are as well. But they're worth praying and waiting for.

Father, thank You for blessing my life with the kind of woman described in this passage. No, she is not perfect, but she is a blessing to my life because she has chosen to make You her highest priority. I pray that You will help my sons to search for and wait for the same kind of woman to come into their lives. And may they continue to prepare themselves to be godly men who will honor, love and lead their wives and families as You have called them to do. Amen.