Well Worth the Wait

She

1 On my bed by night
I sought him whom my soul loves;
    I sought him, but found him not.
2 I will rise now and go about the city,
    in the streets and in the squares;
I will seek him whom my soul loves.
    I sought him, but found him not.
3 The watchmen found me
    as they went about in the city.
“Have you seen him whom my soul loves?”
4 Scarcely had I passed them
    when I found him whom my soul loves.
I held him, and would not let him go
    until I had brought him into my mother’s house,
    and into the chamber of her who conceived me.
5 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
    by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
    until it pleases.” – Song of Solomon 3:1-5 ESV

As stated earlier, the language of this poem sometimes makes it difficult to discern a timeline or logical sequential order in the dialogue. The opening verses of chapter three have the maiden disclosing the content of a recent dream that had turned into a nightmare. Even in her subconscious state, she can’t get the image of her lover out of her mind. But in her dream, she found herself searching everywhere for the love of her life but to no avail. She even imagined getting out of bed and wandering the streets of the city in the middle of the night. One can almost see this young maiden, still dressed in her nightgown, oil lamp in hand, searching through the darkened alleyways of her hometown in a desperate attempt to locate the one whom her soul loves.

In her dream, she had waited with eager anticipation, hoping that her lover would show up but the hours passed and he remained a no-show. It was his failure to appear that prompted her desperate nocturnal search-and-rescue mission. She looked high and low but to no avail; he was nowhere to be found. At one point, she imagined herself coming across the nightwatchmen as they made their rounds. These men, surprised to find a young maiden out by herself in the middle of the night, must have questioned her sanity and intentions, but she is more interested in whether they solve the riddle of her missing lover.

A Freudian psychologist would have a field day with this dream. They would probably assess that this woman has a pathological attachment to this young man that is producing an unhealthy co-dependence. She can’t live without him and she can’t get him out of her mind. Their diagnosis might include some form of obsessive-compulsive behavior.

But the truth is, she is simply deeply in love and can’t imagine life without this young man. She desperately wants to be married and can’t wait until the day when he pops the question, they set the date, and the long-awaited day arrives. In her dream, she compresses the timeline and takes matters into her own hands, by locating her long-lost lover, taking him by the hand, and leading him to the nearest bed, which just happens to be the one on which she was conceived. This young virgin shares the intimate details of her dream, as she describes taking her lover to bed. 

The bluntness of her language makes us a bit uncomfortable and could leave us with the impression that this young lady has a lust problem. But the content of her dream only illustrates the longing of her heart. Her relationship with Solomon has moved well beyond puppy love. These are not two adolescents experiencing their first high school crush; they are soul mates who have determined their lives have been inextricably linked together for life. They have been divinely destined to be “one flesh” (Mark 10:8). The graphic and somewhat lurid content of the dream does not suggest that this couple had been intimately and immorally involved with one another, but it does make it clear that consummating their relationship was on her mind. She wanted to experience everything that marriage had to offer, and her honest admission that she dreamed of sexual intimacy with her lover should not be taken as a moral indiscretion but as a barometer of the depth of her love. She was more than ready and willing to give herself to her lover but would hold those passions in check until their wedding night.

She even caps the recounting of her dream with its steamy conclusion by encouraging her fellow maidens to keep their physical desires under control and “not to awaken love until the time is right” (Song of Solomon 3:5 NLT). Her dream revealed her heart’s desire but she was not going to let her passions get the best of her. She couldn’t control her sub-conscious dreams but, in real life, she was committed to maintaining her purity and protecting the sanctity of the marriage bed. While she lived long before the Book of Hebrews was written, she would have agreed wholeheartedly with its warning.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. – Hebrews 13:4 ESV

One must not forget that this is a book of poetry that chronicles the love between a man and a woman. It is meant to be intimate and uncomfortably revealing. There is a certain sense in which the reader is meant to feel a bit awkward as if they are intruding on the private conversations of two lovers. But the intent of the poem is not to embarrass or produce guilt but to showcase the amazing nature of the God-ordained love between a man and a woman.

It’s interesting to note that Solomon, long after penning the content of this book, wrote another book entitled Ecclesiastes. It was written very late in his life after he had amassed great wealth, world renown, and all the comforts that can come with life. He was wise and incredibly well-off, but he lacked any sense of joy, peace, or contentment. He had spent his entire adult life searching for significance and satisfaction but could only conclude, “I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind” (Ecclesiastes 1:14 ESV). By this point in his life, he had accumulated all kinds of treasures, including 700 wives and 300 concubines, but nothing brought him satisfaction. Sex had long ago replaced love as a driving factor in his life. He sadly confessed, “whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure” (Ecclesiastes 2:10 ESV).

Later in this same book, Solomon seems to reminisce about the days when he found satisfaction and significance in the arms of his young maiden. Those had been simpler days when two was more than enough.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLT

All the treasures of the world cannot replace or replicate the God-ordained love between a man and a woman. Marriage was God’s idea from the beginning. In the garden, God declared His intentions for the indissoluble union between a man and a woman.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 ESV

The young maiden dreamed of the day when she and Solomon could consummate their love and solidify their union. She knew she had to wait and do things according to God’s divine will but that did not remove the desire or diminish her longings for all that God had in store for them. The marriage was a gift from God and she couldn’t wait to open it.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

In It For the Longhaul

She

1 I am a rose of Sharon,
    a lily of the valleys.

He

2 As a lily among brambles,
    so is my love among the young women.

She

3 As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
    so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
    and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
4 He brought me to the banqueting house,
    and his banner over me was love.
5 Sustain me with raisins;
    refresh me with apples,
    for I am sick with love.
6 His left hand is under my head,
    and his right hand embraces me!
7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
    by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
    until it pleases.

8 The voice of my beloved!
    Behold, he comes,
leaping over the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle
    or a young stag.
Behold, there he stands
    behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
    looking through the lattice.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
    and come away,
11 for behold, the winter is past;
    the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth,
    the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
    is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree ripens its figs,
    and the vines are in blossom;
    they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
    and come away.

He

14 O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
    in the crannies of the cliff,
let me see your face,
    let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet,
    and your face is lovely.

She

15 “Catch the foxes for us,
    the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards,
    for our vineyards are in blossom.

16 “My beloved is mine, and I am his;
    he grazes among the lilies.
17 Until the day breathes
    and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle
    or a young stag on cleft mountains.” – Song of Solomon 2:1-17 ESV

In the opening lines of this chapter, the maiden continues to describe herself in terms that are meant to convey her desire for her lover to find her attractive. Earlier in the poem, her self-description seemed to border on self-deprecation, as she pointed out her sun-darkened skin. She appears to have feared that her lack of a porcelain-like complexion would be unattractive to her beloved.

But here, she compares herself to two common flowers of the field, located in a region called the Sharon. When we read, “Rose of Sharon” we tend to think of an expensive rose purchased from the local florist, but this was most likely a commonplace flower of the bulb family, like a crocus, narcissus, iris, or daffodil. They were everywhere in the rich and fertile valley of the Sharon. She isn’t describing herself as being rare and unequaled in one-of-a-kind beauty but as one among many. She is no more unique or attractive than the maidens who appeared earlier in the poem. It is not her stunning beauty that sets her apart but her awareness of her own commonness. She is a simple flower of the field, a lily of the valley. In a sense, she is confessing that girls like her are a dime a dozen.

But her lover refutes her seeming self-deprecation by declaring her to be a “lily among brambles” (Song of Solomon 2:2 ESV). According to him, all the other maidens are no more than thorns and thistles when compared to her beauty. He sees her through the love-smitten eyes of a passionate admirer who has lost his ability to appreciate the beauty of anyone but her. She is anything but a garden-variety flower to him; she is eye-catching and heart-stirringly beautiful beyond compare.

In an attempt to equal his kind and gracious words, the young woman returns the compliment by comparing him to a fruit-bearing tree nestled among the towering trees of the forest. It is unlikely that she is referring to an apple tree, even though that is a common interpretation of the Hebrew word, tapûaḥ. But since apple trees are rare in that region of the Middle East, it is more likely a reference to a lemon or citron tree. Her point seems to be that her lover stands out among the crowd; he is unlike all the others. In a forest of similarly looking and completely fruitless trees, he is a fruitful and refreshing change of pace.

It is difficult to read her descriptions of her lover and not see them as having erotic and sexual overtones.

“I sit in his delightful shade
    and taste his delicious fruit.” – Song of Solomon 2:3 NLT

Her thinly veiled sexual attraction is hard to miss; she finds her lover extremely attractive and desirable. She can barely contain herself but attempts to disguise her hormone-infused urges with metaphorical flourishes designed to send a pointed message that she hopes her beloved understands.

She is so smitten by the love of her life that she describes herself as “sick with love” (Song of Solomon 2:4 ESV). She’s love sick. Her pheromones are firing at a fever pitch and she can hardly constrain herself. Any moments she gets to spend with this man are like heaven on earth. Whether it’s enjoying a meal together or spending intimate moments together when no one else is around, she relishes every opportunity to be in his presence. Enjoying his company is a form of nourishment to her, like consuming delicious fresh fruit. He feeds and fulfills her, and she begs her unmarried friends not to settle for anything less than a faithful and fruitful future husband. Marriage is meant to last forever and that can feel like an unbearable eternity when you fail to choose a mate whose very presence complements and completes you.

As much as she longs to be in the presence and arms of her lover, the maiden reveals how much she enjoys having the roles reversed. In verses 8-9, she paints the picture of her lover seeking out her company.

“Ah, I hear my lover coming!
    He is leaping over the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
My lover is like a swift gazelle
    or a young stag.
Look, there he is behind the wall,
    looking through the window,
    peering into the room.” – Song of Solomon 3:8-9 NLT

Nothing thrills a young girl’s heart more than the thought of being pursued. The fact is, this is a common trait of every human being, male and female. We all desire the love and attention of another, and for this young lady, the prospect of her love interest reciprocating her desire for companionship was highly appealing.

She imagines him coming to her home and begging her to run away with him.

“Rise up, my darling!
    Come away with me, my fair one!
Look, the winter is past,
    and the rains are over and gone.
The flowers are springing up,
    the season of singing birds has come,
    and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.
The fig trees are forming young fruit,
    and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming.
Rise up, my darling!
    Come away with me, my fair one!” – Song of Solomon 2:10-13 NLT

She couldn’t wait for the day when he popped the question and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. That day would be the most spectacular moment of her young life and the start of a mutual journey of love and life that would have no perceivable end.

But in verse 14, we hear from the groom-to-be, who expresses his impression that his future bride is playing hard to get. He accuses her of “hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff” (Song of Solomon 2:14 NLT). It is as if she is playing coy and feigning a reticence to take their relationship to the next level. Each of them has a slightly different take on where they are in their ongoing quest for marital bliss, but they both want the same thing.

They long to take their relationship to the next level, but each of them is coming at it from a slightly different perspective. It seems clear that she is more than just a love-sick young woman who is overly optimistic and unaware of the pitfalls that come with any relationship. That is why she begs her lover to “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love” (Song of Solomon 2:15 NLT). She is painfully aware that there are a host of issues that could spell doom for their relationship if they are left unchecked and unattended to. These seemingly insignificant “little foxes” have a way of doing irreparable damage if allowed to run amuck in the “vineyard” of a relationship. So, she begs her lover to do whatever it takes to remove these pests before it is too late. A healthy long-term marriage must be planted in a vineyard where fruitfulness is possible because steps have been taken to eliminate any unnecessary threats and unwanted interlopers who might do harm to its future sustainability and viability.

In verses 16-17, the maiden returns to her original analogy of her as a lily in the field. She invites her lover to seek her among all the other lilies of the field, once again recognizing her uniqueness and determining to make her his own. He grazes among the lilies but he only has eyes for her. As the two of them continue their ongoing relationship, she encourages him to remain faithful and committed to their future together. Their journey has just begun, but she is thoroughly convinced that they have a long and prosperous future ahead of them.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Love Beyond Degree

The Bride Confesses Her Love

She

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine;
3     your anointing oils are fragrant;
your name is oil poured out;
    therefore virgins love you.
4 Draw me after you; let us run.
    The king has brought me into his chambers.

Others

We will exult and rejoice in you;
    we will extol your love more than wine;
    rightly do they love you.

She

5 I am very dark, but lovely,
    O daughters of Jerusalem,
like the tents of Kedar,
    like the curtains of Solomon.
6 Do not gaze at me because I am dark,
    because the sun has looked upon me.
My mother's sons were angry with me;
    they made me keeper of the vineyards,
    but my own vineyard I have not kept!
7 Tell me, you whom my soul loves,
    where you pasture your flock,
    where you make it lie down at noon;
for why should I be like one who veils herself
    beside the flocks of your companions?

Solomon and His Bride Delight in Each Other

He

8 If you do not know,
    O most beautiful among women,
follow in the tracks of the flock,
    and pasture your young goats
    beside the shepherds' tents.

9 I compare you, my love,
    to a mare among Pharaoh's chariots.
10 Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments,
    your neck with strings of jewels.

Others

11 We will make for you ornaments of gold,
    studded with silver.  – Song of Solomon 1:2-11 ESV

For many, this is a controversial book because of its somewhat lurid and scandalous content. Some think it has no place in the canon of Scripture. Even Origen of Alexandria, an early Christian scholar, ascetic, and theologian, had reservations about the book and its content.

“I advise and counsel everyone who is not yet rid of vexations of the flesh and blood, and has not ceased to feel the passions of this bodily nature, to refrain from reading the book and the things that will be said about it.” – Origen (c.185-c.254)

The book opens with the statement, “The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's” (Song of Solomon 1:1 ESV). This would seem to indicate that what follows is from the pen of the great king of Israel, Solomon the son of David. Renowned as a poet, Solomon penned more than 1,005 songs or poems (1 King 4;32), and this one is considered to be one of his best. Some view it as a single poem, while others argue it is a collection of similar but distinctive poetic musings. But few would disagree that this lengthy sonnet is an intimate exchange of affectionate words between two lovers. 

To make the text easier to read, the translators of the English Standard Version provided helpful descriptors that determine who is speaking at any given moment. Without them, it would be quite difficult to determine the exact identity of the speakers.

The text opens with a word from the young Shulamite maiden, who expresses her deep affection and desire for the man of her dreams.  She invites him to embrace and kiss her over and over again because his love is “sweeter than wine” (Song of Solomon 1:2 NLT). Reading this text can be more than a bit uncomfortable because it’s like reading a letter that was not meant for your eyes. This is intimate stuff that leaves the reader feeling awkward; as if they are overhearing a private conversation. The very language of these verses is intended to convey the idea that the speakers are unaware that their words are being read by an unseen audience. The young woman shows no signs of reservation or embarrassment. Her love drives her choice of words and they are meant to reflect her deep and abiding affection for the man of her dreams.

The Shulamite maiden may be young but she is anything but shy. Her words are almost brazen in nature, reflecting a boldness that borders on shamelessness. She describes his love for her as more intoxicating than wine; leaving her mental faculties compromised as if she is no longer in control of her senses. These are the words of a woman who is more than in love; she is infatuated. 

She even lets her lover know that the mere scent of him drives her crazy. His anointing oils make her head swoon. But more important than the smell of his cologne is the character of his name.

“…your name is like the spreading fragrance of scented oils.” – Song of Solomon 1:3 NLT

In essence, she’s saying that he has a “sweet-smelling” reputation. In fact, this young man is so well thought of that all the other young maidens are jealous of her relationship with him. This man wasn’t just good-looking; he had a good reputation. He was the complete package; handsome, loving, and a well-respected member of society. This guy was from superficial or an empty suit. He was the real deal with a quality of character that more than matched his outer appearance.

In verse four, the maiden expresses her deep desire for her lover to seize the initiative and take her away. She wants him to make the next move and reveal his love for her through action. She reveals her admiration for him by referring to him as her king.

Verse four could be translated, “O king, bring me into your chambers!” She is anxious to consummate the relationship and is unashamed to admit it. But she knows that the two of them must follow societal customs and protocols. Her lover needed to be the one to take the next step in their relationship. But she wasn’t above providing a bit of enthusiastic encouragement.

But her words are interrupted by a response from the other maidens in the community. They have been listening and watching, and now express their joy over the prospect of her marriage to this one-of-a-kind find.

“How happy we are for you, O king.
    We praise your love even more than wine.”  – Song of Solomon 1:4 NLT

They address their excited words of congratulations to Solomon, the king, and echo the words of the Shulamite maiden in praising the superiority of his love. There is a sense in which these young women are eager to see what happens with this match made in heaven. Rather than jealousy, these maidens exhibit joy and excitement at the good fortune of their friend.

In verses 5-8, the young maiden responds to the kind words of her peers, but in doing so, she reveals her own struggle with a low sense of self-worth. She describes her skin as being dark in appearance, a trait she believes to be unattractive for the future wife of a king.

“I am dark but beautiful,
    O women of Jerusalem—
dark as the tents of Kedar,
    dark as the curtains of Solomon’s tents.
Don’t stare at me because I am dark—
    the sun has darkened my skin.” – Song of Solomon 1;5-6 NLT

She recognizes her own natural beauty but fears that her long days spent caring for her brothers' vineyards in the hot Middle Eastern sun, had left her skin uncharacteristically darkened. It appears that her brothers forced her to serve as their own personal slave, tending their grapes while having to neglect her own “vineyard” or body. She is deeply in love but questions her own attractiveness and worthiness to be loved by the king.

But her love for him makes her long to be in his presence. She lets him know that she desires to be where he pastures his flocks. This description of the king as a shepherd was common in that day, as they believed the sovereign was responsible for caring for the flock of God. In a rather obscure statement, the maiden expresses her reluctance to “be like one who veils herself” (Song of Solomon 1:7 ESV). This is most likely a reference to the actions of a prostitute. In that day, it was common for women of ill repute to cover their faces so their true identity could be hidden from the general public. This young love-struck woman is anxious to see her lover but doesn't want to chase after him and be mistaken as a “loose woman.” So, she asks for the best time of day to meet with him; at a time that would guarantee their union without a lot of prying eyes.

Her beloved responds with an invitation for her to “follow in the tracks of the flock” (Song of Solomon 1:8 ESV). She will find it easy to discover his location by simply looking for the fruits of his labor. He describes himself as a shepherd by cares for all those under his care. Wherever the “flock” of his kingdom is enjoying the blessings of his leadership, she will find him.

Anxious to see this beautiful young maiden, the king vocalizes his admiration for and attraction to her beauty.

“You are as exciting, my darling,
    as a mare among Pharaoh’s stallions.
How lovely are your cheeks;
    your earrings set them afire!
How lovely is your neck,
    enhanced by a string of jewels.” – Song of Solomon 1:9-10 NLT

He is equally taken by her beauty as she is by his and makes it clear that he is not alone; other men (Pharaoh’s stallions) share his admiration. This rather crass-sounding statement is intended to let her know that her beauty has attracted the eyes of many men, and he counts himself lucky to be the one she longs to be with.

To this declaration of his affection and infatuation, the other maidens share their intent to provide gifts to further accentuate her natural beauty.

“We will make for you earrings of gold
    and beads of silver.” – Song of Solomon 1:11

They are willing to provide the earrings and necklace that the king will reward to his future wife; their willing gift to help seal the deal between these two young lovers.

This entire section is designed to describe the depth of love shared between the king and the Shulamite maiden. They are young and in love and their affection for one another is difficult to hide or contain. This mutual love is unbridled and almost impossible to contain. It provides a wonderful illustration of the kind of love that God had for the people of Israel and that which Christ shared with His bride, the Church. But that same selfless love should be met with a reciprocal passion from the heart of the one upon whom that love is poured out. These two young people are meant to be a vivid illustration of the love between the Almighty and His people. They are unashamed and unwilling to hide their love for one another and understand the one-of-a-kind nature of their God-ordained affection.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.