relationship

In It For the Longhaul

She

1 I am a rose of Sharon,
    a lily of the valleys.

He

2 As a lily among brambles,
    so is my love among the young women.

She

3 As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
    so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
    and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
4 He brought me to the banqueting house,
    and his banner over me was love.
5 Sustain me with raisins;
    refresh me with apples,
    for I am sick with love.
6 His left hand is under my head,
    and his right hand embraces me!
7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
    by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
    until it pleases.

8 The voice of my beloved!
    Behold, he comes,
leaping over the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle
    or a young stag.
Behold, there he stands
    behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
    looking through the lattice.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
    and come away,
11 for behold, the winter is past;
    the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth,
    the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
    is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree ripens its figs,
    and the vines are in blossom;
    they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
    and come away.

He

14 O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
    in the crannies of the cliff,
let me see your face,
    let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet,
    and your face is lovely.

She

15 “Catch the foxes for us,
    the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards,
    for our vineyards are in blossom.

16 “My beloved is mine, and I am his;
    he grazes among the lilies.
17 Until the day breathes
    and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle
    or a young stag on cleft mountains.” – Song of Solomon 2:1-17 ESV

In the opening lines of this chapter, the maiden continues to describe herself in terms that are meant to convey her desire for her lover to find her attractive. Earlier in the poem, her self-description seemed to border on self-deprecation, as she pointed out her sun-darkened skin. She appears to have feared that her lack of a porcelain-like complexion would be unattractive to her beloved.

But here, she compares herself to two common flowers of the field, located in a region called the Sharon. When we read, “Rose of Sharon” we tend to think of an expensive rose purchased from the local florist, but this was most likely a commonplace flower of the bulb family, like a crocus, narcissus, iris, or daffodil. They were everywhere in the rich and fertile valley of the Sharon. She isn’t describing herself as being rare and unequaled in one-of-a-kind beauty but as one among many. She is no more unique or attractive than the maidens who appeared earlier in the poem. It is not her stunning beauty that sets her apart but her awareness of her own commonness. She is a simple flower of the field, a lily of the valley. In a sense, she is confessing that girls like her are a dime a dozen.

But her lover refutes her seeming self-deprecation by declaring her to be a “lily among brambles” (Song of Solomon 2:2 ESV). According to him, all the other maidens are no more than thorns and thistles when compared to her beauty. He sees her through the love-smitten eyes of a passionate admirer who has lost his ability to appreciate the beauty of anyone but her. She is anything but a garden-variety flower to him; she is eye-catching and heart-stirringly beautiful beyond compare.

In an attempt to equal his kind and gracious words, the young woman returns the compliment by comparing him to a fruit-bearing tree nestled among the towering trees of the forest. It is unlikely that she is referring to an apple tree, even though that is a common interpretation of the Hebrew word, tapûaḥ. But since apple trees are rare in that region of the Middle East, it is more likely a reference to a lemon or citron tree. Her point seems to be that her lover stands out among the crowd; he is unlike all the others. In a forest of similarly looking and completely fruitless trees, he is a fruitful and refreshing change of pace.

It is difficult to read her descriptions of her lover and not see them as having erotic and sexual overtones.

“I sit in his delightful shade
    and taste his delicious fruit.” – Song of Solomon 2:3 NLT

Her thinly veiled sexual attraction is hard to miss; she finds her lover extremely attractive and desirable. She can barely contain herself but attempts to disguise her hormone-infused urges with metaphorical flourishes designed to send a pointed message that she hopes her beloved understands.

She is so smitten by the love of her life that she describes herself as “sick with love” (Song of Solomon 2:4 ESV). She’s love sick. Her pheromones are firing at a fever pitch and she can hardly constrain herself. Any moments she gets to spend with this man are like heaven on earth. Whether it’s enjoying a meal together or spending intimate moments together when no one else is around, she relishes every opportunity to be in his presence. Enjoying his company is a form of nourishment to her, like consuming delicious fresh fruit. He feeds and fulfills her, and she begs her unmarried friends not to settle for anything less than a faithful and fruitful future husband. Marriage is meant to last forever and that can feel like an unbearable eternity when you fail to choose a mate whose very presence complements and completes you.

As much as she longs to be in the presence and arms of her lover, the maiden reveals how much she enjoys having the roles reversed. In verses 8-9, she paints the picture of her lover seeking out her company.

“Ah, I hear my lover coming!
    He is leaping over the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
My lover is like a swift gazelle
    or a young stag.
Look, there he is behind the wall,
    looking through the window,
    peering into the room.” – Song of Solomon 3:8-9 NLT

Nothing thrills a young girl’s heart more than the thought of being pursued. The fact is, this is a common trait of every human being, male and female. We all desire the love and attention of another, and for this young lady, the prospect of her love interest reciprocating her desire for companionship was highly appealing.

She imagines him coming to her home and begging her to run away with him.

“Rise up, my darling!
    Come away with me, my fair one!
Look, the winter is past,
    and the rains are over and gone.
The flowers are springing up,
    the season of singing birds has come,
    and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.
The fig trees are forming young fruit,
    and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming.
Rise up, my darling!
    Come away with me, my fair one!” – Song of Solomon 2:10-13 NLT

She couldn’t wait for the day when he popped the question and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. That day would be the most spectacular moment of her young life and the start of a mutual journey of love and life that would have no perceivable end.

But in verse 14, we hear from the groom-to-be, who expresses his impression that his future bride is playing hard to get. He accuses her of “hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff” (Song of Solomon 2:14 NLT). It is as if she is playing coy and feigning a reticence to take their relationship to the next level. Each of them has a slightly different take on where they are in their ongoing quest for marital bliss, but they both want the same thing.

They long to take their relationship to the next level, but each of them is coming at it from a slightly different perspective. It seems clear that she is more than just a love-sick young woman who is overly optimistic and unaware of the pitfalls that come with any relationship. That is why she begs her lover to “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love” (Song of Solomon 2:15 NLT). She is painfully aware that there are a host of issues that could spell doom for their relationship if they are left unchecked and unattended to. These seemingly insignificant “little foxes” have a way of doing irreparable damage if allowed to run amuck in the “vineyard” of a relationship. So, she begs her lover to do whatever it takes to remove these pests before it is too late. A healthy long-term marriage must be planted in a vineyard where fruitfulness is possible because steps have been taken to eliminate any unnecessary threats and unwanted interlopers who might do harm to its future sustainability and viability.

In verses 16-17, the maiden returns to her original analogy of her as a lily in the field. She invites her lover to seek her among all the other lilies of the field, once again recognizing her uniqueness and determining to make her his own. He grazes among the lilies but he only has eyes for her. As the two of them continue their ongoing relationship, she encourages him to remain faithful and committed to their future together. Their journey has just begun, but she is thoroughly convinced that they have a long and prosperous future ahead of them.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Privilege of Knowing God.

And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. – 1 John 5:20 ESV 1 John 5:13-21

John closes his letter with a strong note of affirmation: “We know that the Son of God has come.” John has given his own personal testimony to that fact, along with the testimonies of the three very reliable witnesses, not to mention God Himself. The evidence is more than sufficient to prove that Jesus not only came, but that He was and is the Son of God. He existed before the creation of the world with God. Not only that, He played a major part in the creation of the world. John begins his gospel with these words: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:1-3 ESV). The deity of Jesus is essential to the plan of salvation. Without it, mankind's sin problem remains unchanged. We are left with the ever-present reality of sin in our lives and the complete incapacity to refrain from sin or remove the guilt and sentence of death associated with it. There were those in John's day who believed that Jesus simply came to show us a better way to live. He came to give us a more enlightened moral code by which to conduct our lives. But Jesus' entire life led to the cross, where He sacrificed Himself for the sins of mankind. He atoned for man's sin by offering Himself as a worthy, sinless sacrifice. And as a result, when anyone places their faith in Him as their Savior and sin substitute, they receive not only cleansing from sin, but His righteousness. In other words, Jesus didn't just pay our debt off and bring our balance to zero. That would still have left us spiritually penniless and helpless. No, what Jesus did was give us His righteousness. He replaced our indebtedness to God with the wealth of His righteousness. “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21 ESV). Not only that, He provided a way for us to know God and experience fellowship with Him for the very first time in our lives.

We can know the one, true God. No longer are we left to try and conjure up our own version of God or find something else that might act as a stand-in for Him. Because of Jesus' death on the cross, we can actually, legitimately know God. We can come into His presence. And when we do, we come as His children, not groveling, fearful debtors. He looks on us as His own children. He sees us as righteous, because our sins have all been paid for in full – past, present and future. We no longer have to try and earn His favor. We don't have to attempt to measure up and keep our sin-quotient below 50 percent. Yes, we are to live holy lives, because that is what He has called us to. But we don't do it out of a sense of obligation or in order to earn His love and favor. We do it gladly, out of love for Him. And we do it in the strength He has provided us through His indwelling Holy Spirit. Our testimony can be that of Paul's, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20 ESV). Through the Holy Spirit, Christ lives in us. The Spirit of God has taken up a permanent residence within each and every believer.

But the main point John leaves us with as he closes out his letter is that “we may know him who is true.” By coming to know Jesus as Savior, we come to know God the Father. There is no other way. Any other attempt to come to know God will fall short. It will end in idolatry, a false form of God. Rather than the true God, man will always end up worshiping false gods – apart from Christ. John wants us to know that Jesus makes it possible for us to know the one true God and experience eternal life. But one of the false perceptions among many believers is that eternal life is somehow a commodity. It is some kind of future reward reserved for those who make the right choice and place their faith in Jesus. But Jesus said, “this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (John 17:3 ESV). Knowing God and Jesus is eternal life. It is the reward. A relationship with God and His Son is the prize. But do we value it? Do we fully appreciate the remarkable reality that we can have an intimate, experiential knowledge of God – right here, right now? Jesus has made it possible for us to know and understand the infinite, indefinable, all-powerful God of the universe. Through the living word, Jesus; and the written Word, the Scriptures; and the indwelling Spirit; we can know and understand God. We can come to comprehend His character and nature. We can grow in our knowledge of Him. We can increasingly see His incredible love for us and respond in kind. Rather than seeing Him as distant, detached and difficult to understand, we can know and love Him. And we don't have to wait for heaven in order to start. What an incredible privilege.