She
1 On my bed by night
I sought him whom my soul loves;
I sought him, but found him not.
2 I will rise now and go about the city,
in the streets and in the squares;
I will seek him whom my soul loves.
I sought him, but found him not.
3 The watchmen found me
as they went about in the city.
“Have you seen him whom my soul loves?”
4 Scarcely had I passed them
when I found him whom my soul loves.
I held him, and would not let him go
until I had brought him into my mother’s house,
and into the chamber of her who conceived me.
5 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.” – Song of Solomon 3:1-5 ESV
As stated earlier, the language of this poem sometimes makes it difficult to discern a timeline or logical sequential order in the dialogue. The opening verses of chapter three have the maiden disclosing the content of a recent dream that had turned into a nightmare. Even in her subconscious state, she can’t get the image of her lover out of her mind. But in her dream, she found herself searching everywhere for the love of her life but to no avail. She even imagined getting out of bed and wandering the streets of the city in the middle of the night. One can almost see this young maiden, still dressed in her nightgown, oil lamp in hand, searching through the darkened alleyways of her hometown in a desperate attempt to locate the one whom her soul loves.
In her dream, she had waited with eager anticipation, hoping that her lover would show up but the hours passed and he remained a no-show. It was his failure to appear that prompted her desperate nocturnal search-and-rescue mission. She looked high and low but to no avail; he was nowhere to be found. At one point, she imagined herself coming across the nightwatchmen as they made their rounds. These men, surprised to find a young maiden out by herself in the middle of the night, must have questioned her sanity and intentions, but she is more interested in whether they solve the riddle of her missing lover.
A Freudian psychologist would have a field day with this dream. They would probably assess that this woman has a pathological attachment to this young man that is producing an unhealthy co-dependence. She can’t live without him and she can’t get him out of her mind. Their diagnosis might include some form of obsessive-compulsive behavior.
But the truth is, she is simply deeply in love and can’t imagine life without this young man. She desperately wants to be married and can’t wait until the day when he pops the question, they set the date, and the long-awaited day arrives. In her dream, she compresses the timeline and takes matters into her own hands, by locating her long-lost lover, taking him by the hand, and leading him to the nearest bed, which just happens to be the one on which she was conceived. This young virgin shares the intimate details of her dream, as she describes taking her lover to bed.
The bluntness of her language makes us a bit uncomfortable and could leave us with the impression that this young lady has a lust problem. But the content of her dream only illustrates the longing of her heart. Her relationship with Solomon has moved well beyond puppy love. These are not two adolescents experiencing their first high school crush; they are soul mates who have determined their lives have been inextricably linked together for life. They have been divinely destined to be “one flesh” (Mark 10:8). The graphic and somewhat lurid content of the dream does not suggest that this couple had been intimately and immorally involved with one another, but it does make it clear that consummating their relationship was on her mind. She wanted to experience everything that marriage had to offer, and her honest admission that she dreamed of sexual intimacy with her lover should not be taken as a moral indiscretion but as a barometer of the depth of her love. She was more than ready and willing to give herself to her lover but would hold those passions in check until their wedding night.
She even caps the recounting of her dream with its steamy conclusion by encouraging her fellow maidens to keep their physical desires under control and “not to awaken love until the time is right” (Song of Solomon 3:5 NLT). Her dream revealed her heart’s desire but she was not going to let her passions get the best of her. She couldn’t control her sub-conscious dreams but, in real life, she was committed to maintaining her purity and protecting the sanctity of the marriage bed. While she lived long before the Book of Hebrews was written, she would have agreed wholeheartedly with its warning.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. – Hebrews 13:4 ESV
One must not forget that this is a book of poetry that chronicles the love between a man and a woman. It is meant to be intimate and uncomfortably revealing. There is a certain sense in which the reader is meant to feel a bit awkward as if they are intruding on the private conversations of two lovers. But the intent of the poem is not to embarrass or produce guilt but to showcase the amazing nature of the God-ordained love between a man and a woman.
It’s interesting to note that Solomon, long after penning the content of this book, wrote another book entitled Ecclesiastes. It was written very late in his life after he had amassed great wealth, world renown, and all the comforts that can come with life. He was wise and incredibly well-off, but he lacked any sense of joy, peace, or contentment. He had spent his entire adult life searching for significance and satisfaction but could only conclude, “I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind” (Ecclesiastes 1:14 ESV). By this point in his life, he had accumulated all kinds of treasures, including 700 wives and 300 concubines, but nothing brought him satisfaction. Sex had long ago replaced love as a driving factor in his life. He sadly confessed, “whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure” (Ecclesiastes 2:10 ESV).
Later in this same book, Solomon seems to reminisce about the days when he found satisfaction and significance in the arms of his young maiden. Those had been simpler days when two was more than enough.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLT
All the treasures of the world cannot replace or replicate the God-ordained love between a man and a woman. Marriage was God’s idea from the beginning. In the garden, God declared His intentions for the indissoluble union between a man and a woman.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 ESV
The young maiden dreamed of the day when she and Solomon could consummate their love and solidify their union. She knew she had to wait and do things according to God’s divine will but that did not remove the desire or diminish her longings for all that God had in store for them. The marriage was a gift from God and she couldn’t wait to open it.
English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.