Passivity, Procrastination, and Passing the Buck

11 And King David sent this message to Zadok and Abiathar the priests: “Say to the elders of Judah, ‘Why should you be the last to bring the king back to his house, when the word of all Israel has come to the king? 12 You are my brothers; you are my bone and my flesh. Why then should you be the last to bring back the king?’ 13 And say to Amasa, ‘Are you not my bone and my flesh? God do so to me and more also, if you are not commander of my army from now on in place of Joab.’” 14 And he swayed the heart of all the men of Judah as one man, so that they sent word to the king, “Return, both you and all your servants.” 15 So the king came back to the Jordan, and Judah came to Gilgal to meet the king and to bring the king over the Jordan.

16 And Shimei the son of Gera, the Benjaminite, from Bahurim, hurried to come down with the men of Judah to meet King David. 17 And with him were a thousand men from Benjamin. And Ziba the servant of the house of Saul, with his fifteen sons and his twenty servants, rushed down to the Jordan before the king, 18 and they crossed the ford to bring over the king’s household and to do his pleasure. And Shimei the son of Gera fell down before the king, as he was about to cross the Jordan, 19 and said to the king, “Let not my lord hold me guilty or remember how your servant did wrong on the day my lord the king left Jerusalem. Do not let the king take it to heart. 20 For your servant knows that I have sinned. Therefore, behold, I have come this day, the first of all the house of Joseph to come down to meet my lord the king.” 21 Abishai the son of Zeruiah answered, “Shall not Shimei be put to death for this, because he cursed the Lord’s anointed?” 22 But David said, “What have I to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah, that you should this day be as an adversary to me? Shall anyone be put to death in Israel this day? For do I not know that I am this day king over Israel?” 23 And the king said to Shimei, “You shall not die.” And the king gave him his oath. – 2 Samuel 19:11-23 ESV

Joab forced David to abandon his lingering state of mourning over Absalom and demanded that he take back the reins of his fractured kingdom. His eyes finally opened to the gravity of the situation, David’s first official act as the restored king of Israel was to win back the trust of the tribes. He began with his own tribe of Judah because they had backed Absalom during his coup attempt. In a sense, David was having to clean up the mess he had made of his kingdom. His poor leadership and failure to deal with the crimes of Amnon and Absalom had damaged his credibility among the people, including his own clan. So, to regain their trust and favor, he sent the priests, Zadok and Abiathar with an offer of pardon and restoration if they would pledge their allegiance to him as king. To assuage any lingering anger over Absalom’s ignominious and brutal execution by Joab, David offered to replace his former military chief with Amasa, Absalom’s former top commander. This decision by David served two purposes. First, it was a politically savvy move intended to pacify and persuade any of his fellow tribesmen who still had reservations about his leadership abilities. Secondly, it was a way for him to humiliate and punish Joab for his blatant display of insubordination.

There is little information in the text regarding Amasa’s qualifications for this role, but it would appear that David was less concerned with Amasa’s military credentials than with pacifying his critics and restoring order to his kingdom. The only details about Amasa are found in chapter 17.

Absalom had appointed Amasa as commander of his army, replacing Joab, who had been commander under David. (Amasa was Joab’s cousin. His father was Jether, an Ishmaelite. His mother, Abigail daughter of Nahash, was the sister of Joab’s mother, Zeruiah).   – 2 Samuel 17:25 NLT

Whether or not this was a wise move on David’s part is unclear, but it was an obvious slap in the face to Joab. David was letting his friend and former commander know that his murder of Absalom was unacceptable. As far as David was concerned, Joab’s violation of a direct command to preserve Absalom’s life was unforgivable. David could have had Joab executed for insubordination but, instead, he chose to publicly humiliate him. Once again, David makes judgments that appear to be motivated by emotion rather than logic or reason. It had been Joab who led David’s army against the forces of Absalom and delivered a resounding victory. It was Joab who took the life of Absalom, a condemned murderer and insurrectionist, an action David should have taken years earlier. Finally, Joab had been the tone who spoke words of truth to David and commanded him to stop mourning over Absalom and start acting like a king again. But despite all this, David would reward Joab by giving his position to Amasa, Joab’s own cousin and the man who had led the army that had tried to usurp David’s kingdom.

Some might say that this was just a case of political posturing on David’s part – an attempt to win back over the opposing side. David was just “reaching across the aisle” in a gesture of goodwill. But was this a wise move? Better yet, was it a godly move? In his effort to unify his fractured nation, was David going too far? Was he sending the wrong message? It’s interesting to note that David did little to punish those who rebelled against him, yet he demoted Joab, his long-time friend and the commander of his army. There is a visible and disturbing pattern in David’s life. When his son, Amnon raped his half-sister, Tamar, David did nothing about it. When Absalom ended up murdering Amnon, David failed to take action yet again. Now, when David is forced to clean up the aftermath of a well-orchestrated and seemingly successful takeover of his kingdom, he displays more indecisiveness and inaction. He seems reluctant to mete out any kind of justice for the many acts of treason committed against him. It’s important to remember that every individual who participated in the coup against David was actually guilty of insubordination to God. Their alignment with Absalom was a blatant rejection of God’s will. Yahweh had appointed David as the king of Israel and yet, they were complicit in rejecting God’s king and replacing him with a king of their own choosing.

David had a habit of overlooking and dismissing the sins of others. Perhaps this lingering trait was motivated by an awareness of his own past sinfulness. Whatever the case, David appears to have struggled with implementing justice. Even Joab seems to have known that, had he not executed Absalom, David would have allowed his son to live. He had been an eye-witness to David’s pattern of passivity and poor follow-through.

David even pardoned Shimei, the man who had cursed and thrown stones at him as he was fleeing from Jerusalem. This disgruntled member of the clan of Saul had publicly berated and chastised David.

“Get out of here, you murderer, you scoundrel!” he shouted at David. “The Lord is paying you back for all the bloodshed in Saul’s clan. You stole his throne, and now the Lord has given it to your son Absalom. At last you will taste some of your own medicine, for you are a murderer!” – 2 Samuel 16:7-8 NLT

Not surprisingly, when David returned to Jerusalem as king, Shimei was one of the first to show up and beg for his forgiveness.

As the king was about to cross the river, Shimei fell down before him. “My lord the king, please forgive me,” he pleaded. “Forget the terrible thing your servant did when you left Jerusalem. May the king put it out of his mind. I know how much I sinned. That is why I have come here today, the very first person in all Israel to greet my lord the king.” – 2 Samuel 19:18-20 NLT

Shimei was petrified that his former temper tantrum was going to get him killed, and Abishai was more than willing to make it happen. Just as on the day when Shimei had hurled rocks at David, Abishai spoke up, saying, “Shimei should die, for he cursed the Lord’s anointed king!” (2 Samuel 19:21 NLT). But, once again, David rebuked Abishai, and told him, “Why have you become my adversary today? This is not a day for execution, for today I am once again the king of Israel!” (2 Samuel 19:22 NLT). Rather than face retribution, Shimei was given a full pardon. David was understandably reticent to mar his return to office with additional bloodshed or acts of vengeance. He wanted to be viewed as a peacemaker, not a vindictive, revenge-seeking dictator who was going to pay back everyone who had wronged him.

But there is an interesting side note concerning David and Shimei that sheds some light on David’s real attitude toward this man. Years later, when David was nearing death and preparing to hand over the kingdom to his son, Solomon, he gave him a series of directives, to be carried out after his death. One of them concerned Shimei.

“And remember Shimei son of Gera, the man from Bahurim in Benjamin. He cursed me with a terrible curse as I was fleeing to Mahanaim. When he came down to meet me at the Jordan River, I swore by the Lord that I would not kill him. But that oath does not make him innocent. You are a wise man, and you will know how to arrange a bloody death for him.” – 1 Kings2:8-9 NLT

It seems that David’s pardon of Shimei was temporary in nature. David would keep his word and not seek revenge against Shimei, but that did not mean he had forgiven or forgotten what Shimei had done. He simply postponed or put off Shimei’s execution for a later date and pawned off the responsibility to his son. On his deathbed, David commanded Solomon to kill Shimei for him. Yet, Solomon came up with a different plan.

The king then sent for Shimei and told him, “Build a house here in Jerusalem and live there. But don’t step outside the city to go anywhere else. On the day you so much as cross the Kidron Valley, you will surely die; and your blood will be on your own head.” – 1 Kings 2:36-37 NLT

This arrangement would work well for Shimei until he made the mistake of leaving Jerusalem in search of a couple of runaway slaves. When Solomon found out, he had Shimei executed. So David’s revenge against Shimei was ultimately carried out; he paid for his sins. But it seems that David was constantly letting someone else do his dirty work for him. He had let Absalom carry out justice against Amnon. Then it took Joab to pay back Absalom for his act of treason against his own father. Then David assigned Solomon with the task of dealing with the rebellion of Shimei.

David was in a difficult spot; he had a divided kingdom and his reputation was in shambles. Absalom had spent years spreading vicious rumors concerning David’s poor leadership and lack of justice. He had raised questions regarding David’s integrity and undermined the people’s trust in him. So, David had his work cut out for him. But what he really needed to do was act like a king; he needed to lead decisively and justly. He could not afford to be complacent or to be seen as lacking in conviction. David’s desire to be politically correct and treat everyone with kid gloves was going to blow up in his face. David should have spent more time worrying about what God would have him do, rather than obsessing over what was politically expedient. The people wanted and needed a king. Part of the reason they had backed Absalom was that he came across as the kind of leader they were looking for. He had exposed flaws in David’s leadership. Yet David continued to allow those very same weaknesses to plague his reign.

God had provided a means by which the kings of Israel were to rule; He had given them His law and statutes. They were to operate based on His will, not according to what was politically correct or personally convenient. God had made His will clear.

“When he sits on the throne as king, he must copy for himself this body of instruction on a scroll in the presence of the Levitical priests. He must always keep that copy with him and read it daily as long as he lives. That way he will learn to fear the Lord his God by obeying all the terms of these instructions and decrees. This regular reading will prevent him from becoming proud and acting as if he is above his fellow citizens. It will also prevent him from turning away from these commands in the smallest way. And it will ensure that he and his descendants will reign for many generations in Israel.” – Deuteronomy 17:18-20 NLT

David’s divided kingdom needed a king who had God’s undivided attention. The people needed a monarch who was obsessed with doing the godly thing, not the expedient thing. They needed a man after God’s own heart, not a king who spent all his time trying to win over their hearts.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

When God Seems Silent

1 When David had passed a little beyond the summit, Ziba the servant of Mephibosheth met him, with a couple of donkeys saddled, bearing two hundred loaves of bread, a hundred bunches of raisins, a hundred of summer fruits, and a skin of wine. 2 And the king said to Ziba, “Why have you brought these?” Ziba answered, “The donkeys are for the king’s household to ride on, the bread and summer fruit for the young men to eat, and the wine for those who faint in the wilderness to drink.” 3 And the king said, “And where is your master’s son?” Ziba said to the king, “Behold, he remains in Jerusalem, for he said, ‘Today the house of Israel will give me back the kingdom of my father.’” 4 Then the king said to Ziba, “Behold, all that belonged to Mephibosheth is now yours.” And Ziba said, “I pay homage; let me ever find favor in your sight, my lord the king.”

5 When King David came to Bahurim, there came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera, and as he came he cursed continually. 6 And he threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David, and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. 7 And Shimei said as he cursed, “Get out, get out, you man of blood, you worthless man! 8 The Lord has avenged on you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned, and the Lord has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. See, your evil is on you, for you are a man of blood.”

9 Then Abishai the son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and take off his head.” 10 But the king said, “What have I to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the Lord has said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who then shall say, ‘Why have you done so?’” 11 And David said to Abishai and to all his servants, “Behold, my own son seeks my life; how much more now may this Benjaminite! Leave him alone, and let him curse, for the Lord has told him to. 12 It may be that the Lord will look on the wrong done to me, and that the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing today.” 13 So David and his men went on the road, while Shimei went along on the hillside opposite him and cursed as he went and threw stones at him and flung dust. 14 And the king, and all the people who were with him, arrived weary at the Jordan. And there he refreshed himself. – 2 Samuel 16:1-14 ESV

It seems that with each step David took, the news got worse. All he was trying to do was leave the city in peace but before he could get past the summit of the Mount of Olives, yet another individual showed up with bad news. Ziba, the servant of Mephibosheth, arrived with a couple of donkeys loaded down with supplies. When David asked Ziba to explain what he was doing, the servant explained that Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan and grandson of Saul, had decided to align himself with Absalom. It appears that Mephibosheth believed that his shift in allegiance would result in the restoration of all that was rightfully his as an heir of the former king. Ziba’s news must have disappointed David deeply, because he had shown great mercy and love to Mephibosheth, allowing him to live in his palace and eat at his table. David had even provided Mephibosheth with the deed to all of Saul’s former land holdings (2 Samuel 9:7). His favorable treatment of Mephibosheth had been in fulfillment of the vow he had made to Jonathan, David’s former friend and the young man’s deceased father.

“May the Lord be with you as he used to be with my father. And may you treat me with the faithful love of the Lord as long as I live. But if I die, treat my family with this faithful love, even when the Lord destroys all your enemies from the face of the earth.” – 1 Samuel 20:13-15 NLT

David had faithfully kept that vow and now, Mephibosheth was returning the favor with betrayal. But later in the story, it becomes apparent that Ziba had been lying. When David eventually returns to Jerusalem, Mephibosheth is one of the first ones to greet him, and he explains to David what really happened that day.

Now Mephibosheth, Saul’s grandson, came down from Jerusalem to meet the king. He had not cared for his feet, trimmed his beard, or washed his clothes since the day the king left Jerusalem. “Why didn’t you come with me, Mephibosheth?” the king asked him.

Mephibosheth replied, “My lord the king, my servant Ziba deceived me. I told him, ‘Saddle my donkey so I can go with the king.’ For as you know I am crippled. Ziba has slandered me by saying that I refused to come. But I know that my lord the king is like an angel of God, so do what you think is best.” – 2 Samuel 19:24-27 NLT

But David was unaware of any of these details when Ziba showed up laden with gifts and yet another dose of bad news. It was impossible for David to know what was really going on and, at that point, even the news of Mephibosheth’s betrayal would not have surprised him. David took the report in stride and promised to reward Ziba for his kindness by giving him all that belonged to Mephibosheth. Of course, this reward would remain unclaimed by Ziba as long as David remained in exile and Absalom sat on the throne of Israel.

As David continued his mournful retreat from Jerusalem, he would be bombarded by further bad news; this time in the form of stones hurled by an angry relative of Saul. Things would get worse before they got better. As he and his retinue passed by the town of Bahurim, a man came out and began to verbally assault David, cursing him, and accusing him of being a man of bloodshed. David’s attempts to ignore the attacks proved fruitless as the man continued to bombard the beleaguered king with hate-filled words and well-aimed stones.

It seems that Shemei had longed for this day. Years of pent-up resentment spilled over as this relative of Saul watched David skulk out of town. For Shemei and his clan, David was little more than a usurper who had stolen the crown from the rightful heirs of Saul. This proud member of the tribe of Benjamin viewed David as an illegitimate king who was only getting what he deserved. Shemei seems to blame David for the deaths of Saul, Jonathan, and Abner. He declared David to be a man of bloodshed, not because of David’s many military exploits but because he believed David was a murderer.

This accusation would have stung David deeply. While he knew he played no part in the deaths of Saul, Jonathan, or Abner, he would have been reminded of his role in the death of Uriah. He likely recalled his refusal to deal with the actions of his own son, Amnon, which eventually led to Amnon’s murder by Absalom. Shemie was right, David was a man of bloodshed. He knew it well and lived with the knowledge of that fact each and every day of his life. While he had been forgiven by God, that did not absolve David from experiencing the discipline of God. David had learned long ago that sin has consequences. Even now, he could not be sure whether his current circumstances were yet another demonstration of God’s displeasure with him.

The words of Shemei must have hit David hard.

“Get out of here, you murderer, you scoundrel!” he shouted at David. “The Lord is paying you back for all the bloodshed in Saul’s clan. You stole his throne, and now the Lord has given it to your son Absalom. At last you will taste some of your own medicine, for you are a murderer!” – 2 Samuel 16:7-8 NLT

David was dazed and confused. He reeled from the rapid-fire series of events that had left him without a throne and on his way into exile yet again. What had happened? How had everything fallen apart so quickly and unexpectedly? What was God doing and what had David done to deserve it?

There are moments in all of our lives when we question what God may be up to. We struggle to understand the nature of the events surrounding our lives. When things take an unexpected turn for the worse, we begin to wonder what we have done to make God angry with us. We tend to view the presence of disorder or disaster of any kind as a sign of God’s displeasure with us. We question what we have done to fall from God’s good graces. We analyze our past actions in an attempt to figure out what we’ve done to turn God against us and what we must do to make things right.

David would have felt the same way. He was unsure of the cause of these events, but it would have been natural for him to assume that he was somehow responsible. He was trying to trust God, but it was difficult. Wave after wave of bad news engulfed him, leaving him reeling and wondering what he had done to deserve this fate. Had God turned on him? Was all of this a form of payback for past sins?

What is amazing is David’s lack of anger or emotional outbursts. Despite all that had happened, he didn’t lash out at those around him. He didn’t shake his fist in the face of God and demand an explanation or some form of resolution. He mourned but he didn’t demand his rights or declare his innocence. He displayed a remarkable willingness to accept his fate as having come from the land of God. But his friends were far less accommodating or acquiescent.

When we find ourselves in difficult circumstances, there will always be well-meaning friends who step in to give us advice. In their effort to ease our pain, they will say things meant to encourage and comfort us, but so often, their words will lack scriptural backing or the authority of God. Out of love for David, Abishai offered to silence Shimei by cutting off his head. While that over-the-top action would have abruptly ended Shemei’s diatribe, it wouldn’t have made things better; it would simply have complicated matters. So David refused, saying, “If the Lord has told him to curse me, who are you to stop him?” (2 Samuel 16:10 NLT).

David was not willing to commit further bloodshed just to avoid further discomfort in his life. If Shemei’s actions were God-ordained, then there was nothing to be done. David went on to explain his view on the latter.

“My own son is trying to kill me. Doesn’t this relative of Saul have even more reason to do so? Leave him alone and let him curse, for the Lord has told him to do it. And perhaps the Lord will see that I am being wronged and will bless me because of these curses today.” – 2 Samuel 16:11-12 NLT

It is so easy to believe that the removal of any discomfort in our lives will solve our problems. We can convince ourselves that the elimination of whatever is bothering us is the key to restoring our joy and contentment. But David knew that his hope was in the Lord. Killing Shimei would not resolve his problem. Silencing the words of an angry man would not make David’s life any better or easier. Only God could bring peace in the chaos and restore David’s joy. He maintained a strong belief that all things, both good and bad, come from the hand of the Lord. He believed in the sovereignty and providence of God. Like Job, David lived by the philosophy, “Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?” (Job 2:10 NLT).

David was dazed and confused, but he was also confident that God was in control. He may not have fully understood the why behind his circumstances, but he was confident that God knew. David was willing to wait, knowing that, in time, God would make His will known and His plan perfectly plain.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Spoken from the Heart

7 And at the end of four years Absalom said to the king, “Please let me go and pay my vow, which I have vowed to the Lord, in Hebron. 8 For your servant vowed a vow while I lived at Geshur in Aram, saying, ‘If the Lord will indeed bring me back to Jerusalem, then I will offer worship to the Lord.’” 9 The king said to him, “Go in peace.” So he arose and went to Hebron. 10 But Absalom sent secret messengers throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then say, ‘Absalom is king at Hebron!’” 11 With Absalom went two hundred men from Jerusalem who were invited guests, and they went in their innocence and knew nothing. 12 And while Absalom was offering the sacrifices, he sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, from his city Giloh. And the conspiracy grew strong, and the people with Absalom kept increasing. – 2 Samuel 15:7-12 ESV

Another four years would pass before Absalom made the next move in his plan to overthrow his father and take the throne of Israel. The Septuagint (LXX), the Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible, which came out somewhere between 300-300 BC, has the time length of Absalom’s wait as 40 years. But this would seem to be a scribal error because that doesn’t fit in with the chronological circumstances surrounding the story. But during his four-year delay, Absalom was anything but idle as he carefully and craftily planned for the opportunity to replace his father as king, and that day had arrived.

Absalom requested permission from David to return to Hebron, the town of his birth. The reason he gave for this trip was that it was in keeping with a vow he had made to God while living in exile in Geshur. He had promised God, that in exchange for his safe return to Jerusalem, he would offer sacrifices to Him in Hebron. While the request seems innocent enough, it is odd that David doesn’t question his son’s timing. After all, Absalom had been living in Jerusalem for six years and would have had plenty of opportunities to return to Hebron to fulfill his vow. So, why now? What was the impetus behind Absalom’s sudden desire to keep his word to God? Despite their long history of distrust and disagreement, David doesn’t bat an eye at his son’s request.

This entire exchange should have set off alarm bells in David’s head. If nothing else, it should have caused a resounding sense of dé·​jà vu because David had been here before. Years earlier, Absalom had come to him with a similar and equally innocent-sounding request.

Absalom invited all the king’s sons to come to a feast. He went to the king and said, “My sheep-shearers are now at work. Would the king and his servants please come to celebrate the occasion with me?” – 2 Samuel 13:23-24 NLT

When David politely turned down Absalom’s invitation, his son asked if his half-brother Amnon could attend.

“Well, then,” Absalom said, “if you can’t come, how about sending my brother Amnon with us?” – 2 Samuel 13:26 NLT

It had been two years since Amnon had raped Tamar, the sister of Absalom, so David was suspicious of Absalom’s intentions and asked, “Why Amnon?” (2 Samuel 13:26 NLT). But instead of answering his father’s question, he simply increased the pressure and persisted in his request, until David finally relented and gave permission for all his sons to attend the feast. His lack of discernment resulted in Amnon’s murder and Absalom’s exile from the kingdom. 

Now, years later, David once again exhibits a remarkable lack of perceptiveness or naivete. Was David completely unaware of Absalom’s daily actions at the gate of the city? Did his son’s repeated attempts to win over the people of Jerusalem escape his notice? Based on David’s reaction, it would appear that he was either oblivious to Absalom’s motives or unconcerned. David not only gave Absalom his permission, but he also gave his blessing, saying, “Go in peace” (2 Samuel 15:9 ESV).

That simple statement rings with irony because there was nothing peaceful about Absalom’s intentions. His heart was filled with bitterness and rage against his father. He had spent years stewing over David’s role in Tamar’s humiliation. Absalom was an angry young man with an ax to grind and a deep-seated desire to see his father equally humiliated. In his mind, David did not deserve to be king. He had forfeited that right with his failure to mete out justice on Amnon. And when Absalom saw how easily he got away with the murder of Amnon, he realized his father just how weak and ineffective his father was.

As soon as Absalom received David’s permission, he sent spies to all the tribes of Israel to prepare for the next phase of his plan. These men were to spread the news of Absalom’s coup by telling the people, “As soon as you hear the ram’s horn…you are to say, ‘Absalom has been crowned king in Hebron.’” (2 Samuel 15:10 NLT). He had established a network of spies throughout the kingdom that would help announce the news of his kingship as soon as the time was right. This little tidbit of information indicates that Absalom’s PR campaign had extended far beyond the walls of Jerusalem. He had been busy priming the pump and preparing the people for his takeover of David’s kingdom, and it would begin with his inauguration as king in Hebron.

Absalom invited 200 guests to join him. Their identities are not divulged, but they were most likely influential leaders and individuals with whom he had established close relationships. These guests were ignorant of Absalom’s plan because “they went in their innocence and knew nothing” (2 Samuel 15:11 ESV). But when Absalom requests the presence of Ahithophel, one of David’s personal counselors, it reveals that there were others involved in the plot. This whole thing had been well-planned and carefully orchestrated. Everything was coming together just as Absalom had planned it.

…the conspiracy grew strong, and the people with Absalom kept increasing. - 2 Samuel 15:12 ESV

Once again, we see Absalom biding his time. He was in no hurry and was intent on ensuring that his coup was based on a strong public relations strategy. He was going to win through insinuation and incitement. His father was renowned for his military exploits and Absalom knew he could not win the crown through the use of force. He was determined to defeat his father through the spreading rumors of rumors and the instilling of doubt. He was exposing his father’s weaknesses and slowly setting himself up as the preferred alternative. Absalom knew that if he played his cards right, the battle for the crown would be a bloodless one. No swords would be necessary. No lives would be lost. His relentless disinformation campaign would bring down the mighty David and pave the way to the throne of Israel.

Absalom was busy portraying David as immoral and unjust, an incompetent leader, and an uncaring judge of his people. Absalom knew he could win this war in the court of public opinion. He would take advantage of the people’s discontentment and foment increasing dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs. If Absalom had been given access to the power of social media as we know it today, his efforts would have taken far less time. We know first-hand just how destructive and effective words can be. Whether it's a Facebook post criticizing the current administration or a Twitter feed promoting a new product, these seemingly innocuous bits of information are powerful tools for disseminating both truth and lies. They have become a ubiquitous part of our daily lives. We have seen careers ruined, political campaigns derailed, rumors become reality, lies taken as truth, and uninformed opinions shared in ignorance and without discretion.

Absalom understood the power of words. He knew the destructive nature of innuendo and insinuation. Given enough time, he would be able to take down the most powerful man in the kingdom – without a fight. David’s reputation would be destroyed and his throne taken by a war of words and an onslaught of rumors, half-truths, and intimations regarding his leadership and moral character. But so much of it had been the result of his own sinful indiscretions and indecisive reactions to the events surrounding his life. He had brought this on himself. Absalom had simply exploited David’s weaknesses and unwillingness to do the right thing when it counted.

Absalom’s determination to do this to his own father reveals the degree of his dissatisfaction and disdain for David. He was a son who had long ago lost any respect or regard for his own father. He saw David, not as a man to be honored, but as an unfit king who deserved to be taken down.

David would later write in one of his psalms:

O God, you take no pleasure in wickedness;
    you cannot tolerate the sins of the wicked.
Therefore, the proud may not stand in your presence,
    for you hate all who do evil.
You will destroy those who tell lies.
    The Lord detests murderers and deceivers. – Psalm 5:4-6 NLT

Absalom was wicked and proud. He was a murderer and deceiver. He was a liar and a lover of evil. But as will become apparent, his plan to overthrow his father and take his throne would prove successful. Yet, God would have the last word. In the book of Proverbs, compiled by David’s son, Solomon, who would be God’s chosen successor to the throne, we read the following words:

The plans of the godly are just;
    the advice of the wicked is treacherous.

The words of the wicked are like a murderous ambush,
    but the words of the godly save lives. – Proverbs 12:5-6 NLT

While David had made many mistakes and was ultimately responsible for the sordid state of his kingdom, he was still a man after God’s own heart. He longed to serve his God and care for the kingdom he had been given to rule and reign over. He had not always done it well or with integrity, but his heart was right. Absalom, on the other hand, was an impetuous, headstrong upstart who cared only for himself. He could not be trusted. His words, while powerful and effective, were deceitful and ungodly. Nothing Absalom had planned or put into action had been done with God’s guidance or approval. He had acted according to his own wicked heart. His motives had been purely selfish and driven by revenge.

It’s interesting to note that, years later, Solomon would write a proverb addressed to his own son. Perhaps he had his own brother Absalom in mind when he penned these words:

My child, pay attention to what I say.
    Listen carefully to my words.
Don’t lose sight of them.
    Let them penetrate deep into your heart,
for they bring life to those who find them,
    and healing to their whole body.

Guard your heart above all else,
    for it determines the course of your life. – Proverbs 4:20-23 NLT

Centuries later, Jesus, a descendant of David, would pick up on this same theme:

But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. These are what defile you. – Matthew 15:18-20 NLT

Absalom’s words and actions revealed the true condition of his heart. It was defiled and devoid of righteousness. His heart had long ago been hardened by sin and the words that flowed from his lips were polluted by anger, resentment, evil thoughts, and wicked schemes. And while those defiled and ungodly words would be the cause of his rise to power, they would also be the reason for his demise. His life would be a testament to the truth found in James 3:6: “…the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.”

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Shame of Shepherdless Sheep

1 After this Absalom got himself a chariot and horses, and fifty men to run before him. 2 And Absalom used to rise early and stand beside the way of the gate. And when any man had a dispute to come before the king for judgment, Absalom would call to him and say, “From what city are you?” And when he said, “Your servant is of such and such a tribe in Israel,” 3 Absalom would say to him, “See, your claims are good and right, but there is no man designated by the king to hear you.” 4 Then Absalom would say, “Oh that I were judge in the land! Then every man with a dispute or cause might come to me, and I would give him justice.” 5 And whenever a man came near to pay homage to him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Thus Absalom did to all of Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel. – 2 Samuel 15:1-6 ESV

There are a lot of things that could be said about Absalom - many of them negative. But he was anything but impatient. He spent two years plotting his revenge against Amnon. After successfully orchestrating the execution of his half-brother, Absalom spent another three years living in self-imposed exile in Geshur, patiently waiting to see how and when his father would respond. When David finally agreed to allow his fugitive son to return, Absalom spent another two years under house arrest because his father refused to either pardon or punish him.

As chapter 15 reveals, Absalom ended up biding his time for another four years, quietly and patiently plotting his next move. Absalom was anything but an impulsive hothead; he was calculating and resolute by nature, always planning and plotting his next move with careful precision. Even during his years of exile and excommunication, Absalom was far from idle. As he waited, he used the time to his advantage, carefully crafting his next move.

After spending two years under house arrest in Jerusalem but banned from his father’s presence, Absalom managed to get a meeting with the king. Pressured by Joab, David agreed to meet with his son and ended up restoring him to favor. Once back in his father’s good graces and with his rights and privileges as a son of the king restored, Absalom got busy and put the next phase of his plan into action. He had become well aware of a flaw in his father’s leadership abilities and had personally experienced David’s predilection for procrastination and inaction. He had also been the beneficiary of David’s reluctance to enact justice as God’s appointed judge of Israel. This young man had wasted no time in assessing his father’s weaknesses and plotting his next move.

As he made his way around the capital of Jerusalem, interfacing with the people of Israel, he became more convinced that his father‘s flaws could be exploited to his own advantage. Absalom was an ambitious young man who had shown his willingness to take matters into his own hands. When David had done nothing to punish Amnon for his rape of Tamar, Absalom had stepped in. When Joab refused to respond to his repeated requests for an audience with David, he got Joab’s attention by having his barley fields set on fire. Absalom was a doer. He was driven and determined, and when he saw the chink in David’s armor, he determined to strike a blow.

But Absalom was also cunning and clever and would have made a great politician. He didn’t personally attack David or expose his weaknesses to the press; he simply began a quiet campaign to win over the hearts of the people. He slowly and subtly sowed seeds of doubt regarding David’s leadership over them and his love for them. It all began with a carefully crafted and perfectly implemented publicity campaign. He had been out of sight for years, so he needed to repair his image among the people. To them, he was the rebellious son of the king who had been exiled for murdering his own kin. He was the prodigal son who had been allowed to return home but was treated like a stranger. As he walked around the city, he was likely the object of stares and quiet whispers.

So, to rehabilitate his damaged image, Absalom implemented a strategic plan to alter his public persona. It didn’t hurt that he was good-looking.

Now Absalom was praised as the most handsome man in all Israel. He was flawless from head to foot. – 2 Samuel 14:25 NLT

He was also a family man.

He had three sons and one daughter. His daughter’s name was Tamar, and she was very beautiful. – 2 Samuel 14:27 NLT

Now, all he needed was the trappings of success. So he bought himself some wheels and an entourage.

Absalom bought a chariot and horses, and he hired fifty bodyguards to run ahead of him. – 2 Samuel 15:1 NLT

Next, he took his show on the road, and what a sight he made each morning when he arrived at the city gate. Nobody would have missed his arrival or wondered who he was. This was Absalom, son of the king. He was handsome, obviously successful, and, on top of that, he was a man of the people. Absalom knew that the key to successfully running the nation was to win the hearts of the people. So, he devised a plan to do just that. His strategy of going to the city gate each morning was brilliant. It was at the city gate that all business was conducted and justice was dispensed. The people would gather there to have their disputes mediated and complaints heard. As king, David was to have his appointed judges and rulers ready to hear from his people and assist them in arbitrating their disputes and legal problems. But evidently, David had been lax in providing the judgment and justice a growing city required, leaving the people dissatisfied with his leadership. The crowds gathered each day, expecting justice, but walked away with their expectations unmet. But the ever-observant Absalom saw an opportunity and exploited the situation.

Absalom went out of his way to ensure that his daily arrival at the gate would not go unnoticed. His chariot and entourage were hard to miss. He also ensured that the people saw him as not only a person of power and influence but as a man who cared about their needs. The text tells us, “When people brought a case to the king for judgment, Absalom would ask where in Israel they were from…” (2 Samuel 15:2 NLT). He portrayed himself as a man of the people, who cared as much about them as he did about their needs. This well-dressed and powerful young prince would patiently listen to their problems and assure them, “You’ve really got a strong case here! It’s too bad the king doesn’t have anyone to hear it. I wish I were the judge. Then everyone could bring their cases to me for judgment, and I would give them justice!” (2 Samuel 15:3-4 NLT).

Like the serpent in the garden, Absalom sowed seeds of doubt and led the people to question David’s care and concern for their needs. Without attacking his father directly, Absalom subtly undermined his credibility with the people. After all, Absalom was there at the gate, talking, listening, assuring, and promising to do what David had failed to do – provide the people with justice. Absalom’s actions left the people wondering why David had never come to the gate.  Was he too busy to take care of his people? Was he too good to show up at the gate and listen to the problems facing the citizens of his kingdom?

Absalom was sly and crafty, and he was coldly calculating in all that he did. When the people began to see him as someone who cared and who might be willing to assist them with their needs, they treated him with honor and respect, bowing down before him. But when the people fawned over Absalom, he did the unthinkable and unexpected. Rather than allow the people to honor him as some kind of dignitary, he embraced them in his arms, treating them as his equals. Every move he made was premeditated and designed to produce a predetermined plan, and his ploy worked.

Absalom did this with everyone who came to the king for judgment, and so he stole the hearts of all the people of Israel. – 2 Samuel 15:6 NLT

An interesting side note in all of this is found in the book of Deuteronomy. It contains a somewhat obscure law regarding what to do with a rebellious son. The fascinating thing about this law is the location where it was to be enacted: At the city gate.

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.” – Deuteronomy 21:18-21 ESV

Absalom was not a drunkard or a glutton, but he was a murderer. Not only that, he was guilty of plotting the overthrow of his father’s kingdom, and he was doing so at the place of judgment: The city gate. He was blatantly using the seat of justice to plot an unjust and unsanctioned overthrow of the king. The stubborn and rebellious son was sowing the seeds of doubt that would later blossom into the fruit of revolution. And he chose to do it at the city gate, the very place where he should have been judged for his crime against Amnon. Had David performed his kingly duties and purged the evil from his household and kingdom, Absalom’s plans to replace his father as king would have never happened.

Once again, David’s failure to act decisively comes back to haunt him. But this entire scenario raises another question. Why was it so easy for Absalom to win over the hearts of the people? Had they become disgruntled and disenchanted with all of David’s well-publicized moral failings? There is little doubt that rumors had spread regarding David’s affair with Bathsheba. Most likely, the news of Uriah’s death had spread and the questions regarding the circumstances surrounding his death would have been many. The whole situation with Amnon and Tamar would not have gone unnoticed by the people of Jerusalem. The murder of the king’s son by his brother would have been headline news. And the very fact that Absalom had been allowed to return without any repercussions would have been fodder for the rumor mill.

There is also the likelihood that David was too busy with the affairs of the state to effectively listen to and address the needs of his people. It was probably about this same time that David became engrossed with the construction of his palace. He was also devising plans for the future construction of a temple in which to house the Ark of the Covenant. David was a busy man but had he become too distracted to care for his own people? It must not be overlooked that God had told David, “Shepherd my people Israel” (2 Samuel 5:2). But somewhere along the way, David had begun to neglect his primary responsibility and, in doing so, he lost the respect of his sheep. They had wandered and were easy prey for someone as crafty and cunning as Absalom. David had left a void that Absalom was more than willing to fill. The sheep were hungry for justice and Absalom was prepared to feed them from his own hand and turn their hearts away from David.

David had one job to do: Shepherd the sheep of Israel. But he had become too busy with the affairs of the state to care for the well-being of God’s flock. He had not even managed to properly shepherd his own family, allowing incest and murder to go unpunished and unresolved. But God has strong feelings about shepherds who fail to perform their roles.

“What sorrow awaits you shepherds who feed yourselves instead of your flocks. Shouldn’t shepherds feed their sheep? You drink the milk, wear the wool, and butcher the best animals, but you let your flocks starve. You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost.” – Ezekiel 34:2-4 NLT

David was going to learn a painful lesson that would cost him dearly. His failure to shepherd well, by fulfilling his responsibilities as a father and a king, would not go unpunished. God would hold him accountable.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

You Can’t Judge a Book By Its Cover

25 Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. 26 And when he cut the hair of his head (for at the end of every year he used to cut it; when it was heavy on him, he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head, two hundred shekels by the king's weight.’ 27 There were born to Absalom three sons, and one daughter whose name was Tamar. She was a beautiful woman.

28 So Absalom lived two full years in Jerusalem, without coming into the king’s presence. 29 Then Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but Joab would not come to him. And he sent a second time, but Joab would not come. 30 Then he said to his servants, “See, Joab’s field is next to mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.” So Absalom’s servants set the field on fire. 31 Then Joab arose and went to Absalom at his house and said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?” 32 Absalom answered Joab, “Behold, I sent word to you, ‘Come here, that I may send you to the king, to ask, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.” Now therefore let me go into the presence of the king, and if there is guilt in me, let him put me to death.’” 33 Then Joab went to the king and told him, and he summoned Absalom. So he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom. – 2 Samuel 14:25-33 ESV

David had agreed to Absalom’s return to Jerusalem but had essentially placed him under house arrest and refused to see him. After a three-year absence from the kingdom, Absalom found himself persona non grata, ignored by his own father, and left to wonder why he had agreed to come home at all. Another two years passed, with Absalom confined to his home and David continuing his pattern of avoidance and inaction. He not only refused to meet his son face to face, but he also rejected his legal responsibility as king to administer justice for his son’s crime. Even Absalom would become frustrated by his father’s lack of moral courage and propensity for passivity. For him, this waiting game had become a matter of life or death. He woke up every morning wondering whether he would remain a prisoner in his own home or face execution for a crime he had committed five years earlier. His fate was in his father’s hands and, with each passing day, he became increasingly more frustrated with his untenable situation.

But what makes this section of chapter 14 so interesting is its rather odd emphasis on Absalom’s physical appearance. According to verses 25-27, Absalom had a reputation for his good looks and “was praised as the most handsome man in all Israel” (2 Samuel 14:25 NLT). He may have been a murderer, but he was easy on the eyes. Even while under house arrest, this handsome and somewhat roguish son of the king had become a celebrity. From the soles of his feet to the top of his head crowned with thick luxurious hair, Absalom gave all the appearances of a king-in-waiting. This flattering description of Absalom may seem a bit odd and out of place, but it is intended to set the stage for all that is about to happen. It is eerily reminiscent of the description given of another young man who would become Israel’s first king and David’s predecessor.

There was a wealthy, influential man named Kish from the tribe of Benjamin. He was the son of Abiel, son of Zeror, son of Becorath, son of Aphiah, of the tribe of Benjamin. His son Saul was the most handsome man in Israel—head and shoulders taller than anyone else in the land. – 1 Samuel 9:1-2 NLT

In both cases, the text’s emphasis on outer appearances is intended to make a point. When the good-looking Saul turned out to be a far-from-great king, God determined to replace him with a man after His own heart. He sent His prophet Samuel to the home of a man named Jesse with strict instructions to find and anoint the next king of Israel. When Samuel set his eyes on the eldest son of Jesse, he immediately concluded, “Surely this is the Lord’s anointed!” (1 Samuel 16:6 NLT). But God had other plans and gave the prophet an important lesson in leadership recruitment.

“Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

Jesse would end up parading each of his sons before Samuel, in the hopes that one would catch the prophet’s attention. But it would not be until the youngest son David appeared that Samuel would hear the Lord say, “This is the one; anoint him” (1 Samuel 16:12 NLT). David would be anointed as the God-appointed replacement for the taller and better-looking Saul. The runt of the litter would become God’s choice to serve as the next king of Israel.

Now, years later, David’s good-looking son Absalom appears on the scene; another handsome, head-turning specimen of a man who would end up capturing the hearts of the people and threatening his father’s reign. But for that to happen, Absalom had to force his father’s hand. He refused to put up with his father’s inaction, choosing instead to face the prospect of execution rather than one more day of imprisonment.

During his two years of house arrest, Absalom’s resentment of his father only increased in intensity. He had plenty of time to recall David’s unwillingness to take action against Amnon for raping his sister. David’s inaction had led Absalom to take matters into his own hands. Now, two years later, Absalom found himself enduring the consequences of his father’s inaction yet again. Whatever respect he once held for his father was gone. He viewed David as a man of weakness, plagued by indecisiveness.

It would be centuries later that the apostle Paul would write:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4 NLT

David could have used this simple, yet profound advice. The Greek word Paul used is parorgizō and it is translated as “provoke to anger”. But it can also mean “to exasperate.” To provoke someone to anger sounds like it refers to a deliberate attempt to purposefully annoy or to rouse anger in another individual. While that most certainly can be true in many cases, we can also create anger in another human being by doing nothing. We can frustrate them by our lack of initiative or a general display of apathy. David was provoking in Absalom an anger and resentment that was fed by his father’s lack of leadership. He was slowly beginning to view David as weak and incapable of leading decisively. Absalom viewed his father as incompetent to lead his own family, and would soon reach the conclusion that he was also unqualified to lead the nation of Israel.

Absalom’s growing anger and frustration are on full display in how he handles Joab’s refusal to answer his repeated requests for an audience with the king. Like his boss, Joab did nothing. Finally, Absalom snapped, taking matters into his own hands and commanding his servants to set fire to Joab’s barley crops. While arguably a bit over the top, Absalom’s ploy worked and revealed his growing exasperation with the whole situation. He had waited two years and simply wanted something to be done. He even told Joab, “I wanted you to ask the king why he brought me back from Geshur if he didn’t intend to see me. I might as well have stayed there. Let me see the king; if he finds me guilty of anything, then let him kill me” (2 Samuel 14:32 NLT).

Absalom would rather face death than have to live in limbo, confined to his home. But there is almost an underlying sense that Absalom knew David would do nothing. He seems to have known that his father would never sentence him to death for his murder of Amnon. So he was willing to force David’s hand, confident that his father would act true to form and take no action. Which is exactly what happened. Joab went to David and convinced him to see Absalom, which David did. From all appearances, it seems that David pardoned Absalom, kissing his son, and restoring him to his former state. Absalom got what he wanted, but he would not be satisfied. During his five years of exile, he had plenty of time to consider his future and plan his next moves. This would prove to be just the first step in his plan to take advantage of what he perceived as his father’s leadership flaws.

Absalom was not only “flawless from head to foot” (2 Samuel 14:25 NLT), but he was also clever. He was a natural-born leader, who possessed the good looks, charisma, charm, and powers of persuasion that would make any politician jealous. Now that he was out from under any threat of punishment for his murder of Amnon, Absalom was going to use his good looks and natural leadership skills to plan his future, which would include his father’s downfall.

It’s interesting to note that Paul gave another warning to fathers in his letter to the Colossians. He writes, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart” (Colossians 3:21 NASB). David had frustrated his son by doing nothing to bring justice to the cause of Tamar. After his daughter had suffered the indignity of being raped by her half-brother, David allowed her to remain in a state of mourning and did nothing to avenge her. He avoided his responsibilities as a father and ignored the expressed will of God as found in the Mosaic Law.

If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days. – Deuteronomy 22:28-29 ESV

According to the law, David should have forced Amnon to marry Tamar, and forbidden him from ever divorcing her. No longer a virgin, Tamar was left in a state where she would have been considered “damaged goods” by the men in her community. Her value as a potential wife had been irreparably damaged. All along the way, David’s indecisiveness left a wake of disaster and damaged lives. His inaction allowed Amnon to go unpunished and left Tamar a humiliated and unwanted woman. His unwillingness to do the right thing had only resulted in a host of wrong outcomes. Absalom had killed Amnon and then spent three years in exile. Even when he was allowed to return home, Absalom found himself in a frustrating limbo, trapped by his father’s unwillingness to perform his parental role and his duties as a king. All of this was going to lead to further resentment on Absalom’s part that would ultimately surface as rebellion.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Absolution Without Atonement Is Always Inadequate

1 Now Joab the son of Zeruiah knew that the king’s heart went out to Absalom. 2 And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman and said to her, “Pretend to be a mourner and put on mourning garments. Do not anoint yourself with oil, but behave like a woman who has been mourning many days for the dead. 3 Go to the king and speak thus to him.” So Joab put the words in her mouth.

4 When the woman of Tekoa came to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and paid homage and said, “Save me, O king.” 5 And the king said to her, “What is your trouble?” She answered, “Alas, I am a widow; my husband is dead. 6 And your servant had two sons, and they quarreled with one another in the field. There was no one to separate them, and one struck the other and killed him. 7 And now the whole clan has risen against your servant, and they say, ‘Give up the man who struck his brother, that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed.’ And so they would destroy the heir also. Thus they would quench my coal that is left and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the face of the earth.”

8 Then the king said to the woman, “Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.” 9 And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, “On me be the guilt, my lord the king, and on my father’s house; let the king and his throne be guiltless.” 10 The king said, “If anyone says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall never touch you again.” 11 Then she said, “Please let the king invoke the Lord your God, that the avenger of blood kill no more, and my son be not destroyed.” He said, “As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.”

12 Then the woman said, “Please let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.” He said, “Speak.” 13 And the woman said, “Why then have you planned such a thing against the people of God? For in giving this decision the king convicts himself, inasmuch as the king does not bring his banished one home again. 14 We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast. 15 Now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid, and your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his servant. 16 For the king will hear and deliver his servant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the heritage of God.’ 17 And your servant thought, ‘The word of my lord the king will set me at rest,’ for my lord the king is like the angel of God to discern good and evil. The Lord your God be with you!” – 2 Samuel 14:1-17 ESV

More than three years have passed since Absalom arranged and carried out the murder of his half-brother, Amnon, for raping his sister, Tamar. Absalom fled, knowing he was guilty and deserving of death. He lived in exile in the land of Geshur the entire time and, while David thought about Absalom every day, he took no action regarding his son’s behavior. Technically, as king, David could have absolved his son of guilt and invited him to come home. But that decision would have required David to violate the law of God. There was little doubt concerning Absalom’s guilt and yet David did nothing to render a just and righteous indictment for the crime committed. For three years he failed to mete out justice for what his son had done.

This whole sordid affair had been lived out in the public eye. Everyone in the kingdom of Israel would have been familiar with the intimate and infamous details of the crimes committed by the royal family. It would have been common knowledge that one of the king’s sons had raped his half-sister and was then murdered by her brother. News of Absalom’s escape and exile would have been gossip fodder and, as the years, passed, people would have questioned why David did nothing to resolve the conflict in his own home. There were likely some who were angered by David’s decision to let his son get away with murder. They would have viewed this as a travesty of justice and a blatant display of favoritism. Others would have questioned David’s lack of mercy and his reluctance to use his power as king to pardon his own son.

The rumor mills must have been busy with all kinds of gossip and speculation. Questions swirled about David’s moods and his constant longings for his missing son Absalom. It was in this context that Joab, the king’s friend and military commander, decided to take action. He determined that it would be in the best interest of the kingdom for David to allow Absalom to return. It’s not made clear why Joab felt compelled to do what he did. There are no indications that any of his efforts had the blessing of God. Nowhere in the passage does it reveal him either seeking or receiving a word from God. So, Joab’s plan appears to have been his own idea and the fruit it eventually produced would seem to bear evidence that it was not within God’s will.

When Joab saw how much David longed for Absalom, he concocted a plan to convince David to forgive and forget. Perhaps remembering how Nathan the prophet had used a story to trick David into confessing his sin with Bathsheba, Joab came up with a similar strategy. He hired the services of a “wise woman” to assist him in implementing his plan. The Hebrew word translated as “wise” is ḥāḵām, and it has a range of possible meanings. In the Hebrew Bible, it is most commonly translated as “wise,” but it can also mean, “crafty, cunning, and wily.” Whatever her attributes, this woman’s reputation convinced Joab that she was the perfect person to help carry out his plot.

Joab concocted an elaborate and completely fabricated story for the woman to share with David. It involved the murder of her son by his own brother. In this fallacious tale, the “poor widow” was being pressured by her clansmen to do the right thing and put her second son to death for having murdered his brother. To further enhance the sad story, Joab had her add another twist in the plot that was designed to tug on David’s heartstrings. She described herself to David as a widow with no other sons to protect or provide for her. The living son was her last hope; if he was put to death, she would be helpless and hopeless.

Her fabricated story, while somewhat similar to that of Absalom and Amnon, had some glaring differences. Absalom’s murder of Amnon had not been in the heat of an argument and the result of uncontrolled passion. In other words, his was not a case of unpremeditated murder; he had planned it for over two years. His murder of Amnon had been calculated and carefully orchestrated. Secondly, the execution of Absalom for the murder of his brother would not have left David destitute and alone. He had plenty of other children and a son who would serve as his heir. David was a wealthy and powerful king, not a poor defenseless widow.

This entire scheme appears to be motivated by Joab’s desire to help Absalom return his father’s good graces. Perhaps he believed Absalom was the rightful heir to his father’s throne and his continued absence would make any transition of power impossible. Technically, Absalom was not the heir to the throne. Amnon would have been, but he had been killed. Next in line would have been Chileab, David’s second-born son (2 Samuel 3:3). And little did Joab know that God had already decided to make Solomon the next king of Israel. But Joab, whatever his motivation, did what he thought was best. He believed that by getting David to allow Absalom to return, things would get back to normal in the kingdom.

But when reading this story it is essential to remember that God had already given His will concerning matters of this nature. The Book of Numbers contains His divine provision for those who commit unpremeditated murder. God established six cities of refuge, designed as places where the guilty could go for safety until their case could be judged appropriately. But God made it clear that acts of premeditated murder were not covered under this plan.

But if someone strikes and kills another person with a piece of iron, it is murder, and the murderer must be executed. Or if someone with a stone in his hand strikes and kills another person, it is murder, and the murderer must be put to death. Or if someone strikes and kills another person with a wooden object, it is murder, and the murderer must be put to death. The victim’s nearest relative is responsible for putting the murderer to death. When they meet, the avenger must put the murderer to death. So if someone hates another person and pushes him or throws a dangerous object at him and he dies, it is murder. Or if someone hates another person and hits him with a fist and he dies, it is murder. In such cases, the avenger must put the murderer to death when they meet. – Numbers 35:16-21 NLT

Absalom deserved death, but Joab was determined to convince the king to grant him a pardon. His reasoning was simple, David needed to put the needs of the kingdom first. The woman’s story was intended to persuade David to do “the right thing.” In the “script” that Joab wrote for the woman, he even suggests that David’s absolution of Absalom would be within God’s will.

“Certainly we must die, and are like water spilled on the ground that cannot be gathered up again. But God does not take away life; instead he devises ways for the banished to be restored.” – 2 Samuel 14:14 NET

These words are a not-so-subtle appeal to God’s mercy and love; they emphasize His forgiveness. But they paint a one-dimensional view of God, conveniently leaving out His justice and holiness. God can’t ignore sin. His divine character will not allow Him to turn a blind eye to the sins of men or issue pardons without appropriate penalties. To do so would be an injustice and a violation of God’s righteousness. Sin must be punished and while Joab’s efforts were well-intentioned, he was encouraging David to supplant the will of God with his own.

As those living on this side of the cross, we know that God eventually provided a means for all sins to be forgiven. But that amazing reality did not come without cost. The apostle Paul reminds us that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23 ESV). Not only that, all humanity stands condemned before God and worthy of death, “for everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard” (Romans 3:23 NLT). But Paul gives us the good news that pardon is available to all.

Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. – Romans 3:24 NLT

The absolution of our guilt and the pardon of our sins did not come without a price; it cost God the life of His own Son. Payment had to be made. The penalty for sin had to be paid by someone and God chose to do it through the life of His sinless Son. The author of Hebrews reminds us, “For without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9:22 NLT).

Joab wanted everything back to the way it was, and he was willing to overlook the sins of Absalom to make it happen. This whole scene was the brainchild of Joab and was intended to get David to overlook the guilt of his son and allow him to return home. Yet this plan circumvented God’s demand for justice. Absolution is not the same thing as redemption. Forgiveness without atonement is impossible. Allowing Absalom to return without demanding that he pay for his crime would not solve the problem; it would only make matters worse.  

Yet David, seemingly susceptible to a good story, gave into the woman’s tale and her plea that he allow Absalom to be restored. David’s decision, like so many others he made, would come back to haunt him. He didn’t seek God’s will in the matter but, instead, he allowed his emotions to get the better of him. It seems that the woman, armed with the words of Joab, knew exactly how to get to David’s heart. He longed for Absalom and was just looking for an excuse to bring him home. He didn’t want to mete out justice, which is why he had allowed Absalom to live in the land of his maternal grandfather for three years. Now, David seemed to have a viable excuse for doing what he had wanted to do all along – absolve Absalom of guilt. But while David could forgive and forget, God could not overlook what Absalom had done. Contrary to the wise woman’s words, God does take away life. He had taken the life of David’s newborn son because of his sin with Bathsheba. God had taken the life of Achan and his entire family for bringing sin into the camp (Joshua 7). God had a consistent and fully justified track record of dealing with sin in a just and righteous manner because He is a just and holy God. He is righteous and always does what is right.

David could choose to overlook Absalom’s sin, but God could not and would not. And David would soon learn the painful lesson that while his pardon of Absalom would guarantee his son’s return, it could not redeem and restore his son’s heart.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

You Reap What You Sow

34 But Absalom fled. And the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; as your servant said, so it has come about.” 36 And as soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and lifted up their voice and wept. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly.

37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead. – 2 Samuel 13:34-39 ESV

Three times in just seven verses the words, “Absalom fled” appear. It’s almost as if the author is trying to make a point. Amnon was dead but Absalom got away. David wept at the news but Absalom got away. David mourned while Absalom got away. He had arranged for and accomplished the murder of his half-brother Amnon and, literally, got away with it. He killed the rightful heir to the throne and lived to tell about it. No troops were sent to pursue him. In fact, no action was taken to bring him to justice.

One might suggest that David was too busy mourning the death of Amnon to do anything about his fugitive son Absalom. But it would appear that David’s grief was not focused on Amnon’s death but on Absalom’s dastardly deed and disappearance. In a sense, David had lost two sons. When it came to death, David had a unique perspective. We see it in his reaction to the death of the infant son born to him and Bathsheba. Upon receiving news that his son had passed, “David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate” (2 Samuel 12:20 NLT).

When David noticed that his servants were surprised by the sudden change in his demeanor, David informed them, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me” (2 Samuel 12:21-22 NLT).

David seems to take this same attitude with the death of Amnon. He was gone and nothing David did would ever bring him back. But, for David, the loss of Absalom was even more painful because he was still alive. Yet, David knew that he couldn’t just invite Absalom back into the family as if nothing had happened. As king, David had a responsibility to enact justice and hold his son accountable for his actions. If Absalom were to return, he would have to die for the murder of Amnon. So, David did nothing. Leaving Absalom in exile allowed him to live but for David, he was as good as dead. So, he mourned and he wept, day after day. He had lost two sons in one tragic incident.

But the saddest part of this entire story is that David could have prevented all of it from happening. Had he dealt with Amnon’s rape of Tamar by fulfilling the law of God and dispensing justice, Absalom would not have been forced to seek revenge. David’s passive parenting style ended up causing more pain in the long run. His refusal to deal with Amnon by disciplining him appropriately left Absalom frustrated by the lack of justice in his own home. His younger sister had been raped and humiliated, but nothing had been done to punish the guilty party.

For three years, David allowed his son to remain safely ensconced in Geshur, a region northeast of the Sea of Galilee, where Absalom found refuge among his mother’s people. According to 2 Samuel 3:3, she was “the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur.” During his exile, Absalom was probably treated as royalty, enjoying all the privileges that come with being the grandson of the king. But during Absalom’s absence, David’s heart went out after him; he missed Absalom and longed to see him. But he knew that if he brought Absalom back, he would have to do the right thing and punish him for what he had done. So David did nothing. As a parent, he excused his son’s behavior. As a king, let a murderer escape justice. Yet, in the Book of Deuteronomy, Moses provided God’s very clear guidelines regarding justice.

You shall appoint judges and officers in all your towns that the Lord your God is giving you, according to your tribes, and they shall judge the people with righteous judgment. You shall not pervert justice. You shall not show partiality, and you shall not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and subverts the cause of the righteous. Justice, and only justice, you shall follow, that you may live and inherit the land that the Lord your God is giving you. – Deuteronomy 16:18-20 ESV

There was to be no perverting of justice and no partiality in terms of its application. By refusing to pursue and punish Absalom, David had violated both aspects of God’s command. As king, David would have been familiar with these laws and he would have known what was expected of him. The Book of Deuteronomy goes on to explain how the king of Israel was to familiarize himself with all of God’s laws.

And when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself in a book a copy of this law, approved by the Levitical priests. And it shall be with him, and he shall read in it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God by keeping all the words of this law and these statutes, and doing them, that his heart may not be lifted up above his brothers, and that he may not turn aside from the commandment, either to the right hand or to the left, so that he may continue long in his kingdom, he and his children, in Israel. – Deuteronomy 17:18-20 ESV

David knew what God required, but refused to do it. He had conveniently ignored God’s command because it conflicted with his own sense of fairness. He couldn’t bring himself to mete out justice to his own son. If you recall, when Nathan confronted David about his sin with Bathsheba, he told a story about a rich man abusing and taking advantage of a poor man. David had no problem showing righteous indignation and demanding justice when it involved someone else’s transgression. But when it involved his own son, David remained silent.

The law of God was clear concerning murder. Again, the Book of Deuteronomy provides explicit instructions on how to deal with those who commit murder.

But if anyone hates his neighbor and lies in wait for him and attacks him and strikes him fatally so that he dies, and he flees into one of these cities, then the elders of his city shall send and take him from there, and hand him over to the avenger of blood, so that he may die. Your eye shall not pity him, but you shall purge the guilt of innocent blood from Israel, so that it may be well with you. – Deuteronomy 19:11-13 ESV

The guilty party was to be given no refuge, shown no pity, and provided with no special treatment, even if he was a son of the king. David was obligated by law to purge the guilt of innocent blood from Israel. But he refused to do so – for three years.

In his letter to the Galatian believers, Paul gave a warning against sowing to the flesh; in other words, giving in to what our sinful nature wants us to do.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption… – Galatians 6:7-8 ESV

In sinning with Bathsheba, David had sowed to his own flesh. He had given in to his base desires and committed an unlawful act. Then he followed it up by having Bathsheba’s husband murdered to cover up his actions. While God forgave David for his sins, David still had to suffer the consequences they created. The infant son born to him and Bathsheba died as a result of their adulterous affair. Not only that, David was told that, as a result of his sin, the sword would not depart from his house. There would be trouble and conflict within his own home, not just his kingdom.

Then Amnon raped Tamar, which led to Absalom killing Amnon. Now Absalom was living in exile, guilty of murder and deserving of death. Through it all, David did nothing. He remained silent and inactive. He was the king and the final arbiter of justice for the kingdom, but he refused to do his job, and his inaction would reap the whirlwind. Things would get worse before they got better. David could ignore the will of God, but he could not escape the justice of God. He could refuse to do what God called him to do, but God would ensure that His justice was not perverted. God would not be mocked.

Yet, how often do we think we can get away with murder – not literally, but figuratively? We think we can sin, seek forgiveness, and then escape any repercussions for our sins. We wrongly believe we can simply ignore our sins and still enjoy God’s blessings on our lives. We know what He would have us do, but we choose our will over His, then wonder why things don’t turn out as expected. God will not be mocked, by the king or anyone else. Passivity to sin is always dangerous. It is a cancer that spreads, ultimately bringing death and destruction. To ignore it is to invite further pain and suffering into our lives. What we reap, we will always sow.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Deadly Result of Sin and Silence

20 And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar.

23 After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24 And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold, your servant has sheepshearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” 25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. 28 Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.” 29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.

30 While they were on the way, news came to David, “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.” 31 Then the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the earth. And all his servants who were standing by tore their garments. 32 But Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, “Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for Amnon alone is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day he violated his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore let not my lord the king so take it to heart as to suppose that all the king’s sons are dead, for Amnon alone is dead.” – 2 Samuel 13:20-33 ESV

In a relatively short time and with the help of more than a half-dozen different women, David sired a host of children who eventually grew up and lived with him in the royal residence in Jerusalem. These adult sons and daughters from different mothers created a uniquely blended family unit in which the potential for sibling rivalries and domestic disputes would be off the charts. It’s difficult to imagine David’s many wives getting along as they jockeyed to become the king’s favorite, and their maternal instincts to protect and promote their own children must have produced a great deal of tension within the walls of the royal compound.

As the opening verses of chapter 13 disclosed, this far-from-idyllic atmosphere became an incubator for unexpected trouble in David’s home as one of his sons, driven by lust, raped his half-sister. This violent act by Amnon was premeditated and carried out with the assistance of David, who unwittingly sent Tamar to care for her “sick” brother. It was all a ruse and a carefully crafted plot by Amnon to get his sister alone so he could take advantage of her – and his plan worked.

Having been forcefully violated and robbed of her virginity, the humiliated Tamar went into mourning. Her disheveled state and cries of despair didn’t go unnoticed by her blood-brother, Absalom. But it seems that her father was too busy to notice or chose to turn a blind eye to what had happened under his watch.

It was only after Tamar sought refuge in Absalom’s home that David became aware of the matter. The text flatly states, “When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry” (2 Samuel 13:21 ESV). He was incensed by what he heard but he took no action. A crime had been committed under the roof of his home but he chose to ignore it. His own daughter had been raped by her half-brother, yet David chose to do nothing about it. 

Yet God had given clear instructions regarding incest.

If a man takes his sister, a daughter of his father or a daughter of his mother, and sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgrace, and they shall be cut off in the sight of the children of their people. He has uncovered his sister's nakedness, and he shall bear his iniquity. – Leviticus 20:17 ESV

The only thing unclear about this passage is the exact meaning of the phrase, “shall be cut off.” The Hebrew word has a wide range of meanings and can refer to everything from excommunication from the assembly to actual execution. But there is little doubt that God expected action to be taken in the case of incest. Yet, in the story of Amnon’s rape of Tamar, David, the king of Israel takes no action. Perhaps he was reluctant to deal with Amnon because his sin reminded him of his own affair with Bathsheba. He too, had taken what was not his to have. It could also be the case that, as the eldest son, Amnon was considered to be the heir to David’s throne. But regardless of the reason or David’s rationale, he was in the wrong for refusing to carry out God’s command.

It’s interesting to note that after her humiliation by Amnon, Tamar didn’t go directly to her father. She didn’t seek his help or ask him for vindication. It was Absalom who took note of her mourning and came to her aid, offering her solace and a safe place to recover from the physical and psychological trauma of her experience. Was her reluctance to turn to her own father in her time of need because she feared she would receive neither sympathy nor revenge?  We can only conjecture, but it does raise questions regarding David’s relationships with his children. The only emotion he displays in this story is anger, but it never takes the form of action. Life went on as usual. Amnon was never “cut off” and Tamar was never avenged. In fact, two years passed before any kind of justice was meted out and David would have nothing to do with it.

David’s pattern of inaction and avoidance would create a perfect storm within his household. After two years, David had moved on. He had put the whole affair in the rearview mirror. But while David had chosen to ignore and then forget the sin of Amnon, Absalom brooded, planned, and plotted his revenge. He hated Amnon for what he had done to Tamar. He was also far from happy with his father’s handling of the entire affair. Absalom held a grudge against David for his refusal to punish Amnon for his transgression. He had lost respect for David as a father and as a king and, as the sordid story unfolds, Absalom will eventually stage a coup to take his father’s throne.

But after two years of waiting for his father to do the right thing, Absalom took matters into his own hands and plotted the death of Amnon. It was a well-thought-out plan that utilized deception, just as Amnon had done in his rape of Tamar. Following Amnon’s script, Absalom concocted an elaborate lie to get David to play a role in his deception. He told his father he was planning a feast to celebrate the annual sheering of the sheep. Absalom included David in the invitation but seems to have known that his father would decline the offer because of his duties as the king. Initially, David was a bit surprised and suspicious that Absalom had specifically requested Amnon’s presence. He obviously knew there was bad blood between the two of them and asked, “Why should he go with you?” (2 Samuel 13:26 ESV). But under pressure from Absalom, David finally agreed and sent all his sons to Baal-hazor – a decision he would soon regret.

Absalom commanded his servants, “Wait until Amnon gets drunk; then at my signal, kill him! Don’t be afraid. I’m the one who has given the command. Take courage and do it!” (2 Samuel 13:28 NLT). These instructions should sound vaguely familiar. When David wanted to get rid of Uriah so he could marry Bathsheba, he gave Joab the following instructions:

“Station Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed.” – 2 Samuel 11:15 NLT

When the deed had been done, he followed up with a second message to Joab: “‘Well, tell Joab not to be discouraged,’ David said. ‘The sword devours this one today and that one tomorrow! Fight harder next time, and conquer the city!’” (2 Samuel 11:25 NLT).

Like his father, Absalom chose to use someone else to do his dirty work. He would not bloody his own hands but was more than willing to take the responsibility for Amnon’s death. Both he and his father displayed a disturbing disregard for what they had done.

In all the confusion after Amnon’s death, David received erroneous news that all of his sons had been killed. His immediate reaction was to tear his clothes and fall on the ground in grief. He mourned but he took no action. He displayed grief and sorrow but did nothing to deal with the matter.

It was Jonadab, David’s nephew, who informed him of what had happened.

“No, don’t believe that all the king’s sons have been killed! It was only Amnon! Absalom has been plotting this ever since Amnon raped his sister Tamar.” – 2 Samuel 13:32 NLT

Jonadab had a reason to rat on Absalom. He was Amnon’s friend and the one who had given him the bright idea of how to lure Tamar into his room so he could rape her (2 Samuel 13:3-5). He most likely feared for his own life, believing that Absalom might come after him next. Jonadab stressed the news that only Amnon was dead and made sure David knew that Absalom had been plotting his death for two years. This news should have spurred David to action but, as the rest of the chapter will reveal, David did nothing. The very next verse reveals that Absalom got away – not only with the murder of his brother but with his own life.

When the prophet Nathan confronted David for his sin with Bathsheba, one of the things he said to him was, “From this time on, your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah’s wife to be your own” (2 Samuel 12:10 NLT). This statement could be taken as a prophecy regarding the wars that would plague the descendants of David. The kings of Judah and Israel would spend centuries fighting their enemies but also one another. But Nathan’s words also foretell of the inner strife that would plague David’s household; perfectly and painfully illustrated by Absalom’s murder of Amnon. 

Nathan’s reference to the sword and David’s house has to do with the battles that would take place within his own family. This would not be the last death of a family member that David would have to endure. He would live to mourn the death of Absalom. But even after David’s own death, the curse on his house would continue. At the end of Solomon’s reign, the kingdom he inherited from his father would be divided, followed by centuries of infighting between the descendants of David and the rest of the tribes of Israel. This centuries-long period would be filled with assassinations, deception, palace intrigue, and a revolving door of kings.

So, David’s sin and God’s punishment for that sin were going to have long-term implications both in David’s household, within his royal house, and between the tribes of Judah.

What would have happened had David dealt with Amnon’s rape of Tamar? How could things have turned out differently had David stepped up and done what was right? Now, his heir to the throne was dead and another son was in exile. To make matters worse, David made no attempt to bring Absalom back to face the consequences of his actions. Once again, David’s inaction would lead to further trouble in his household and within his kingdom.

Sin, left unattended and unconfessed is dangerous in the life of a believer. But it is just as dangerous to ignore sin within the family of God. We may choose to tolerate it or sweep it under the carpet, but sin always has consequences. David was a father and the king of Israel. He had responsibilities to his family and his people; he answered to God for the health and well-being of both.

God is not one to tolerate or take sin lightly. Amnon paid for his sin. In time, Absalom would have to face the consequences of his actions. But what might have happened had David stepped up and done what he was supposed to do? Could this story have had a different ending if David had obeyed God and fulfilled his role as a father and king? The consequences for neglecting sin are far from negligible. Failure to treat sin seriously always has serious consequences. As Numbers 32:23 states, “if you fail to keep your word, then you will have sinned against the LORD, and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.”

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

One Sin Leads to Another

1 Now Absalom, David’s son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David’s son, loved her. 2 And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 5 Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” 6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”

7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go to your brother Amnon’s house and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, where he was lying down. And she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Send out everyone from me.” So everyone went out from him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the chamber, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. 11 But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” 12 She answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing. 13 As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her.

15 Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!” 16 But she said to him, “No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. 17 He called the young man who served him and said, “Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her.” 18 Now she was wearing a long robe with sleeves, for thus were the virgin daughters of the king dressed. So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. 19 And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went. – 2 Samuel 13:1-19 ESV

In this chapter, we will see yet another ugly consequence of David’s disobedience to the commands of God. He had been forgiven by God for his sins, but that did not mean he would face no consequences. This chapter chronicles one of the many outcomes that stemmed from his violation of God’s commands; in this case, it was God’s prohibition against polygamy.

“The king must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the Lord.” – Deuteronomy 17:17 NLT

According to 2 Samuel 3, David had a growing harem of wives. 

These are the sons who were born to David in Hebron:

The oldest was Amnon, whose mother was Ahinoam from Jezreel.
The second was Daniel, whose mother was Abigail, the widow of Nabal from Carmel.
The third was Absalom, whose mother was Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur.
The fourth was Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith.
The fifth was Shephatiah, whose mother was Abital.
The sixth was Ithream, whose mother was Eglah, David’s wife.

These sons were all born to David in Hebron. – 2 Samuel 3:2-5 NLT

Upon being crowned king by the 11 tribes of Israel that had formerly pledged allegiance to Saul’s grandson, Ish-bosheth, David demanded the return of his first wife, Michal. This left him with at least seven wives. But David was not done.

After moving from Hebron to Jerusalem, David married more concubines and wives, and they had more sons and daughters. These are the names of David’s sons who were born in Jerusalem: Shammua, Shobab, Nathan, Solomon, Ibhar, Elishua, Nepheg, Japhia, Elishama, Eliada, and Eliphelet. – 2 Samuel 5:13-16 NLT

David’s predilection for the opposite sex was going to catch up with him. He was in direct violation of God’s law and the fruit of those many illicit relationships was going to come back to haunt him. His many wives had given him many children, at least 17. But that number does not include the female children born to David.

Three of David’s children are involved in this story. Two of them, Absalom and Tamar, were born to David by his wife, Maacah. Absalom was born while David reigned in Hebron. Tamar was most likely born after David had moved his capital to Jerusalem. Amnon was born in Hebron as well but to a different mother, Ahinoam. As David’s household multiplied, the opportunities for sibling rivalries increased exponentially. But David, busy with his duties as king, was oblivious to the affairs of his growing household. Yet, three of his children would turn his world upside down.

David’s hyper-blended family became a breeding ground for trouble, and one of the things that will stand out as this story unfolds is David’s less-than-stellar parenting skills. He may have been a mighty warrior and a formidable military leader, but he appears to have lacked the desire to lead his own household. As the sordid details of his familial problems unfold, David’s parental shortcomings will become increasingly more apparent.

We’re told that Amnon “loved” his Tamar who was young, beautiful, and a virgin. This was more than an innocent love between a brother and a sister. This young man was physically attracted to his half-sister and he “became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her” (2 Samuel 13:2 NLT).

The Hebrew word used to describe Amnon’s affection for Tamar can actually refer to sexual love, and as the story will so graphically demonstrate, his attraction to his half-sister was purely physical. He lusted after her. So much so, that he made himself sick thinking about it. In his mind, Tamar was off-limits, but that didn’t stop him from trying to figure out how he might have her, even as he was having immoral and inappropriate thoughts about her. With the advice of a close friend, Amnon devised a plot to carry out his lust-driven desire to have Tamar, and his father, David, unknowingly went along with it.

The one thing that becomes painfully apparent in this story is David’s lack of discernment when it comes to his own family. He was oblivious to what was going on under the roof of his palace. So, he willingly agreed to send Tamar to take food to her “sick” brother, not knowing what Amnon had planned for her. As a result, Amnon ended up raping his sister against her will. In a fit of lust, Amnon ignored Tamar’s impassioned pleas and forced himself upon her.

Tamar had begged Amnon to consider what he was doing. She pleaded, “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me” (2 Samuel 13:12-13 NLT). It would not have been unprecedented for David to have agreed to a marriage between the two of them. Marriage between half-siblings was a common practice in those days. Abraham had married his half-sister, Sarah (Genesis 20:12). But Amnon was not interested in marriage. He was not persuaded by Tamar’s warnings about the damage this act would do to his reputation. He could care less. His physical desires were driving his actions and clouding his thinking, and the outcome, as James would later write, was predictable.

…each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. – James 1:14-15 ESV

Once Amnon got what he wanted, his “love” for Tamar turned to hatred. Having satisfied his sexual desire, he saw no more need for her. His love had been nothing more than lust and, once his lust had been satiated, he threw her out like a used, unneeded object. He took her virginity by force and left her to deal with the shame, dishonor, and humiliation that would follow. Having served her purpose, Tamar was considered damaged goods and discarded like trash. She no longer had any value to Amnon.

In humiliation, Tamar tore her robe and covered her head in ashes, a sign of mourning over her lost virginity. In that culture, Tamar would now be considered less a victim than a social pariah. It would not matter that she was the daughter of the king; she was no longer a virgin and, therefore, an unworthy prospect for marriage. She would be treated with disdain and viewed with disrespect, regardless of the circumstances. No man would want her. Her young life had been ruined, all because Amnon could not or would not contain his lust. He was a man driven by sexual desire. He had long ago ceased to see her as his sister or even as a woman; she was an object, a trophy to be won and a forbidden desire to be satisfied – at any cost.

But this will not be the end of the story; it will only get worse. As James so pointedly put it: “and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” The most telling part of the story will be David’s role in its aftermath. How will he respond to Amnon’s actions? What steps will he take to mitigate the egregious violation of his own daughter? David is the king but, more importantly, he is the father of a household of children born to him through a harem of unlawful wives. War had broken out in David’s home. How would he lead? He knew how to fight the enemies of Israel, but did he know how to do battle with the enemy within the walls of his own home?

Sadly, David would choose inaction and avoidance as his go-to responses to the domestic disaster under his roof. He would take the path of least resistance and refuse to deal with the sordid situation in his own household. David would be angered by the news of his daughter’s violation, but refuse to take appropriate steps to deal with Amnon’s sin. David, the God-appointed king of Israel, would abdicate his authority as the head of his household and, by doing so, pave the way for an even more disastrous and deadly outcome.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Curse of Procrastination

10 Then David slept with his fathers and was buried in the city of David. 11 And the time that David reigned over Israel was forty years. He reigned seven years in Hebron and thirty-three years in Jerusalem. 12 So Solomon sat on the throne of David his father, and his kingdom was firmly established.

13 Then Adonijah the son of Haggith came to Bathsheba the mother of Solomon. And she said, “Do you come peacefully?” He said, “Peacefully.” 14 Then he said, “I have something to say to you.” She said, “Speak.” 15 He said, “You know that the kingdom was mine, and that all Israel fully expected me to reign. However, the kingdom has turned about and become my brother's, for it was his from the Lord. 16 And now I have one request to make of you; do not refuse me.” She said to him, “Speak.” 17 And he said, “Please ask King Solomon—he will not refuse you—to give me Abishag the Shunammite as my wife.” 18 Bathsheba said, “Very well; I will speak for you to the king.”

19 So Bathsheba went to King Solomon to speak to him on behalf of Adonijah. And the king rose to meet her and bowed down to her. Then he sat on his throne and had a seat brought for the king's mother, and she sat on his right. 20 Then she said, “I have one small request to make of you; do not refuse me.” And the king said to her, “Make your request, my mother, for I will not refuse you.” 21 She said, “Let Abishag the Shunammite be given to Adonijah your brother as his wife.” 22 King Solomon answered his mother, “And why do you ask Abishag the Shunammite for Adonijah? Ask for him the kingdom also, for he is my older brother, and on his side are Abiathar the priest and Joab the son of Zeruiah.” 23 Then King Solomon swore by the Lord, saying, “God do so to me and more also if this word does not cost Adonijah his life! 24 Now therefore as the Lord lives, who has established me and placed me on the throne of David my father, and who has made me a house, as he promised, Adonijah shall be put to death today.” 25 So King Solomon sent Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and he struck him down, and he died. – 1 Kings 2:10-25 ESV

Why bother doing something today if you can simply put it off until tomorrow? And why do it at all, if you can leave it for someone else to do altogether? David seemed to live his life according to those two concepts. But it wasn’t because he suffered from the lack of energy that can accompany old age. This had been a life-long struggle for him. He seemed to have a knack for avoiding the unpleasant and delaying the inevitable. When looking back over his life, the examples of his penchant for procrastination are numerous. There was the time when David’s son, Amnon, raped his half-sister Tamar. David had actually been complicit in the immoral affair because he had sent Tamar to care for Amnon, whom he believed to be sick. But David had been deceived by his son.

When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry… – 2 Samuel 13:21 ESV

Yes, David was enraged by the news of what Amnon had done. But he did nothing to deal with his son’s actions. In fact, for two years, David acted as if nothing had happened. For two long years, Tamar would be forced to live with the shame of her violation while her attacker went unpunished. But eventually, Tamar’s brother Absalom took matters into his own hands and murdered Amnon. When the news reached David, he “mourned for his son day after day” (2 Samuel 13:37 ESV), but he took no steps to have Absalom arrested for his crime. In fact, Absalom fled Jerusalem and lived as a fugitive for three years. And the entire time, David did nothing to avenge the death of his son. And when Absalom eventually returned, David continued to put off his legal responsibilities as king, refusing to punish Absalom for what he had done. This lack of action was interpreted as weakness by Absalom, causing him to lose all respect for his father. Eventually, he decided that he would make a far better king and led a successful takeover of his father’s throne.

Now, as Solomon prepared to begin his own reign as the king of Israel, he found himself with the unpleasant task of cleaning up some of his father’s unfinished business. On top of that, he had his brother Adonijah to deal with. Just as he had done with Amnon and Absalom, David had left Adonijah unpunished for his crime. This ambitious and conniving young man had almost succeeded in stealing the kingship from Solomon, and yet David had taken no steps to mete out justice. By the time David died, Solomon had found himself sitting on the throne but with his former enemy living in the palace as if nothing had ever happened. His nearly successful coup attempt had gone completely unpunished. Both David and Solomon had allowed him to live, but Solomon had been wise enough to add one clear condition.

“If he proves himself to be loyal, not a hair on his head will be touched. But if he makes trouble, he will die.” – 1 Kings 1:52 NLT

But eventually, Adonijah showed his true colors. He made his way to the palace and approached the queen-mother, Bathsheba, to whom he made what appears to be a simple request. First, he reminded her that, as David's oldest living son, he had been the rightful heir to the throne.

“As you know, the kingdom was rightfully mine; all Israel wanted me to be the next king.” – 1 Kings 2:15 NLT

Adonijah’s desire for the throne had not diminished. But he wisely and cleverly admitted that, while his attempted coup had failed, it had been the will of God.

“But the tables were turned, and the kingdom went to my brother instead; for that is the way the Lord wanted it. So now I have just one favor to ask of you. Please don’t turn me down.” – 1 Kings 2:15-16 NLT

He appealed to Bathsheba for one concession. He had been forced to give up his rightful place on the throne, and all he wanted in return was one simple thing: That Solomon would give him permission to marry Abishag, the maiden who had cared for David during his final days of life (1 Kings 1:1-4).

“Speak to King Solomon on my behalf, for I know he will do anything you request. Ask him to let me marry Abishag, the girl from Shunem.” – 1 Kings 2:17 NLT

Bathsheba agreed to take this seemingly benign request to her son. But the reaction she got from Solomon must have surprised her.

“May God strike me and even kill me if Adonijah has not sealed his fate with this request. The Lord has confirmed me and placed me on the throne of my father, David; he has established my dynasty as he promised. So as surely as the Lord lives, Adonijah will die this very day!” – 1 Kings 2:23-24 NLT

To Bathsheba, this must have come across as a bit of an overreaction on Solomon’s part. After all, Abishag was just a Shunnamite servant girl. What difference did it make if Adonijah married her? But Solomon, evidencing the wisdom for which he would become world-renowned, saw through Adonijah’s seemingly innocuous request.

“Although Abishag had been only David’s nurse, in the eyes of the people she passed as his concubine; and among the Israelites, just as with the ancient Persians (Herod. iii. 68), taking possession of the harem of a deceased king was equivalent to an establishment of the claim to the throne . . .” – C. F. Keil, The Books of the Kings

This same scene was played out when Absalom had entered Jerusalem after having stolen the kingdom from David. One of the first pieces of advice Absalom had received was to violate the concubines that had belonged to the former king.

“Sleep with your father’s concubines whom he left to care for the palace. All Israel will hear that you have made yourself repulsive to your father. Then your followers will be motivated to support you.” – 2 Samuel 1621 NLT

Solomon was not fooled by Adonijah’s ploy. He knew exactly what his conniving brother was attempting to do and dealt with him accordingly. He ordered the immediate execution of Adonijah, eliminating any further possibilities for his brother to usurp his throne.

Unlike his father, Solomon acted decisively. He did not put off until tomorrow what needed to be done today. While he knew his actions might be questioned by others, he did what needed to be done. He refused to allow this cancer to remain in his kingdom, choosing instead to remove the threat before it could do serious damage. In doing so, Solomon displayed a level of decisiveness that his father had lacked. Even at an early age, Solomon revealed a degree of wisdom and discernment that would serve him well for many years to come.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

God Takes Sin Seriously.

Now Joab the son of Zeruiah knew that the king's heart went out to Absalom. And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman and said to her, “Pretend to be a mourner and put on mourning garments. Do not anoint yourself with oil, but behave like a woman who has been mourning many days for the dead. 3 Go to the king and speak thus to him.” So Joab put the words in her mouth.

When the woman of Tekoa came to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and paid homage and said, “Save me, O king.” And the king said to her, “What is your trouble?” She answered, “Alas, I am a widow; my husband is dead. And your servant had two sons, and they quarreled with one another in the field. There was no one to separate them, and one struck the other and killed him. And now the whole clan has risen against your servant, and they say, ‘Give up the man who struck his brother, that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed.’ And so they would destroy the heir also. Thus they would quench my coal that is left and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the face of the earth.”

Then the king said to the woman, “Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.” And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, “On me be the guilt, my lord the king, and on my father’s house; let the king and his throne be guiltless.” The king said, “If anyone says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall never touch you again.” Then she said, “Please let the king invoke the Lord your God, that the avenger of blood kill no more, and my son be not destroyed.” He said, “As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.”

Then the woman said, “Please let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.” He said, “Speak.” And the woman said, “Why then have you planned such a thing against the people of God? For in giving this decision the king convicts himself, inasmuch as the king does not bring his banished one home again. We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast. Now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid, and your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his servant. For the king will hear and deliver his servant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the heritage of God.’ And your servant thought, ‘The word of my lord the king will set me at rest,’ for my lord the king is like the angel of God to discern good and evil. The Lord your God be with you!” – 2 Samuel 14:1-17 ESV

More than three years had passed since Absalom had arranged and carried out the murder of his half-brother, Amnon, as revenge for raping his sister, Tamar. Absalom had fled, knowing he was guilty and deserving of death. He had lived in exile in the land of Geshur the entire time and, while David thought about him every day, he did nothing to mete out justice for what his son had done. And this whole sordid affair would have been well known to all the people of Israel. It would have been common knowledge that one of the king’s sons had raped his half-sister and had then been murdered by her brother. They would have been well aware of Absalom’s exile and the rumor mills would have been busy with all kinds of gossip and speculation.

That’s when Joab, the king’s friend and military commander decided to take action. He determined that it would be in the best interest of the kingdom for David to allow Absalom to return. We are not told why Joab felt compelled to do this. But there is no indication that any of his efforts had the blessing of God. Nowhere in the passage do we hear of him seeking or receiving a word from God. This would appear to have been his own idea and the fruit it would eventually would seem to bear evidence that it was no within God’s will.

When Joab saw how much David longed for Absalom, he concocted a plan to try and convince David to forgive and forget. Perhaps remembering how Nathan the prophet had used a story to trick David into confessing his sin with Bathsheba, Joab came up with a similar strategy. He hired a woman to tell a completely fabricated story to David that entailed the murder of her son by his brother. Her clansmen wanted to put the second son to death for having murdered his brother, but she described herself to David as a widow with no other sons to protect or provide for her. The living son was her last hope. If he was put to death, she would be helpless and hopeless. Her story, while somewhat similar to that of Absalom and Amnon, had some glaring differences. Absalom’s murder of Amnon had not been in the heat of an argument and the result of uncontrolled passion. In other words, his was not a case of unpremeditated murder. He had planned it for over two years. His murder of Amnon had been calculated and carefully orchestrated. And the execution of Absalom for the murder of his brother would not have left David destitute and alone. He was the king. And technically, in spite of what Joab said, Absalom was not the heir to the throne. Amnon would have been, but he had been killed. Next in line would have been Chileab, David’s second-born son (2 Samuel 3:3). And little did Joab know that God had already made a determination to make Solomon the next king of Israel. But Joab did what he thought was best. He believed that by getting David to allow Absalom to return, things would get back to normal in the kingdom.

But the thing we must remember when reading this story is that God had already given His will concerning matters of this nature. In the book of Numbers we find His divine provision for those who commit murder by accident. God established six cities of refuge, designed as places where the guilty could go for safety until their case could be judged appropriately. But God had made it clear that acts of premeditated murder were not covered.

But if someone strikes and kills another person with a piece of iron, it is murder, and the murderer must be executed. Or if someone with a stone in his hand strikes and kills another person, it is murder, and the murderer must be put to death. Or if someone strikes and kills another person with a wooden object, it is murder, and the murderer must be put to death. The victim’s nearest relative is responsible for putting the murderer to death. When they meet, the avenger must put the murderer to death. So if someone hates another person and pushes him or throws a dangerous object at him and he dies, it is murder. Or if someone hates another person and hits him with a fist and he dies, it is murder. In such cases, the avenger must put the murderer to death when they meet. – Numbers 35:16-21 NLT

Absalom deserved death, but Joab was determined to get the king to grant him a pardon. And his reasoning, passed on to David by the woman, would be that this would be best for the kingdom. He even suggests that it would be what God would want. “Certainly we must die, and are like water spilled on the ground that cannot be gathered up again. But God does not take away life; instead he devises ways for the banished to be restored.” (2 Samuel 14:14 NET). She appealed to God’s mercy and love. She emphasized His forgiveness. But in doing so, she painted a one-dimensional view of God, conveniently leaving out His justice and holiness. God cannot overlook sin. He cannot turn a blind eye to the sins of men and simply pardon them without doing something about them. There would be a day coming when God would provide permanent forgiveness for sins of all kinds. But it would be at the cost of His own Son’s life. Payment had to be made. The author of Hebrews reminds us, “For without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9:22 NLT).

Joab wanted everything back to the way it was. He was willing to overlook the sins of Absalom, if it would get David back to being his old self. This whole scene was the brain child of Joab, and was intended to get David to overlook the guilt of his son and allow him to return home with no justice having been served. David, seemingly susceptible to a good story, would give in to the woman’s tale and her plea for David to allow Absalom to be restored. This decision, like so many of David’s, would come back to haunt him. He did not seek God’s will in the matter, but went with his gut. It seems that the woman, armed with the words of Joab, knew exactly what was needed to get to David’s heart. He longed for Absalom and was just looking for an excuse to bring him home. He didn’t want to mete out justice, which is why he had left Absalom living in the land of his maternal grandfather for three years. Now, David seemed to have a viable reason for doing what he had wanted to do all along – absolve Absalom of guilt. But God had not forgotten what Absalom had done. And contrary to the wise woman’s words, God does take away life. He had taken the life of David’s newborn son because of his sin with Bathsheba. God had taken the life of Achan and his entire family for bringing sin into the camp (Joshua 7). God is a just and holy god. He is righteous and always does what is right. David could forgive and forget Absalom’s sin, but God could not and would not.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Getting Away With Murder.

But Absalom fled. And the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; as your servant said, so it has come about.” And as soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and lifted up their voice and wept. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly.

But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day. So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead. – 2 Samuel 13:34-39 ESV

Two times in this passage, we read the words, “but Absalom fled.” He got away. He had arranged for and accomplished the murder of his half-brother Amnon and, literally, got away with it. He killed the rightful heir to the throne and lived to tell about it. No troops were sent to pursuit him. In fact, no action was taken to bring him to justice. All we see is David mourning after him. The mention of David mourning for his son day after day would appear to be a reference to Absalom, not Amnon. David had already lost Amnon and would never get him back. But his loss of Absalom was even more painful because he was alive. Yet, David knew that he had a responsibility to enact justice and hold his own son accountable for his actions. If he brought him back, he would have to die for his murder of Amnon. Leaving Absalom in exile allowed him to live, but for David, he was as good as dead. So, he mourned and he wept, day after day. He had lost two sons in one tragic incident.

But the saddest past is that David could have prevented this. If he had dealt with Amnon’s rape of Tamar, and done what he was required to do by law, Absalom would not have been forced to seek revenge. David’s passive parenting style ended up causing more pain in the long run. His refusal to deal with Amnon and discipline him appropriately, left Absalom frustrated by the lack of justice in his own home. His younger sister had been raped and humiliated, but nothing had been done to the one who had committed this heinous act.

The text tells us that Absalom remained in exile for three years and, all during that time, David’s heart went out after him. He missed Absalom. He longed to see him. But he knew that if he brought Absalom back, he would have to do the right thing and punish him for what he had done. So David did nothing. As a parent, he let his son get away with murder – literally. Yet, in the book of Deuteronomy, we have God’s very clear guidelines regarding justice.

You shall appoint judges and officers in all your towns that the Lord your God is giving you, according to your tribes, and they shall judge the people with righteous judgment. You shall not pervert justice. You shall not show partiality, and you shall not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and subverts the cause of the righteous. Justice, and only justice, you shall follow, that you may live and inherit the land that the Lord your God is giving you. – Deuteronomy 16:18-20 ESV

No perverting of justice. No partiality in terms of its application. By refusing to pursuit and punish Absalom, David was breaking both aspects of God’s command. And yet, David would have known these commands. The book of Deuteronomy went on to explain how the king of Israel was to familiarize himself with all of God’s law.

And when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself in a book a copy of this law, approved by the Levitical priests. And it shall be with him, and he shall read in it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God by keeping all the words of this law and these statutes, and doing them, that his heart may not be lifted up above his brothers, and that he may not turn aside from the commandment, either to the right hand or to the left, so that he may continue long in his kingdom, he and his children, in Israel. – Deuteronomy 17:18-20 ESV

David knew what God required, but had refused to do it. He had conveniently ignored God’s command because it conflicted with his own sense of fairness. He couldn’t bring himself to mete out justice to his own son. If you recall, when Nathan confronted David about his sin with Bathsheba, he had told a story about a rich man abusing and taking advantage of a poor man. David had no problem showing righteous indignation and demanding justice when it involved someone else’s transgression. But when it involved his own son, David remained silent.

The law of God was clear concerning murder. Again, the book of Deuteronomy provides explicit instructions on how to deal with those who commit murder.

But if anyone hates his neighbor and lies in wait for him and attacks him and strikes him fatally so that he dies, and he flees into one of these cities, then the elders of his city shall send and take him from there, and hand him over to the avenger of blood, so that he may die. Your eye shall not pity him, but you shall purge the guilt of innocent blood from Israel, so that it may be well with you. – Deuteronomy 19:11-13 ESV

No refuge. No pity. No special treatment, even if he was a son of the king. David was obligated by God to purge the guilt of innocent blood from Israel. But he refused to do so – for three years.

In his letter to the Galatian believers, Paul gave a warning against sowing to the flesh. In other words, giving in to what our sinful nature wants us to do. 

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption… – Galatians 6:7-8 ESV

In sinning with Bathsheba, David had sowed to his own flesh. He had given in to his base desires and committed an unlawful act. Then he had followed it up by having Bathsheba’s husband murdered to cover up his actions. God forgave David for his sins, but that did not mean David would not suffer the consequences of them. The infant son born to Bathsheba as a result of his adulterous affair with her, would die. And as a result of his sin, God told David that the sword would not depart from his house. There would be trouble and conflict within his own home, not just his kingdom. Then Amnon raped Tamar. Which led to Absalom killing Amnon. Now Absalom was living in exile, guilty of murder and deserving of death. And through it all, David did nothing. He remained silent and inactive. He was the king and final arbiter of justice for the kingdom, but he refused to do his job. And his inaction would reap the whirlwind. Things would get worse before they got better. David could ignore the will of God, but could not escape the justice of God. He could refuse to do what God had called him to do, but God would ensure that His justice was not perverted. God will not be mocked. Yet, how often to we think we can get away with murder, not literally, but figuratively? We think we can sin, seek forgiveness, and then escape any repercussions for our sins. We wrongly believe we can simply ignore our sins and still enjoy God’s blessings on our life. We know what He would have us to do, but we choose our will over His, then wonder why things don’t turn out as we expected. God will not be mocked, by the king or anyone else. Passivity to sin is always dangerous. It is a cancer that spreads, ultimately bringing death and destruction. To ignore it is to invite further pain and suffering into our lives. What we reap, we will always sow.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Turning A Blind Eye To Sin.

And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house. When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar.

After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold, your servant has sheepshearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing. Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.” So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.

While they were on the way, news came to David, “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.” Then the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the earth. And all his servants who were standing by tore their garments. But Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, “Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for Amnon alone is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day he violated his sister Tamar. Now therefore let not my lord the king so take it to heart as to suppose that all the king’s sons are dead, for Amnon alone is dead.” – 2 Samuel 13:20-33 ESV

God had given instructions regarding incest:

If a man takes his sister, a daughter of his father or a daughter of his mother, and sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgrace, and they shall be cut off in the sight of the children of their people. He has uncovered his sister's nakedness, and he shall bear his iniquity. – Leviticus 20:17 ESV

The only thing unclear to us is the meaning of the phrase, “cut off”. The Hebrew word has a wide range of meanings and can be referring to everything from excommunication from the assembly or to actual execution. But there is little doubt that God expected action to be taken in the case of incest. And yet, as we read the story of Amnon’s rape of his half-sister, Tamar, there is no action taken by David, his father and the king of Israel. Perhaps David was reluctant to deal with Amnon because his sin was quite similar to his own with Bathsheba. He too, had taken what was not his to have. It could also be the case that, as the eldest son, Amnon was considered the heir to David’s throne. But regardless of the reason or David’s rationale, he was wrong for not having taken the matter in hand.

The first place Tamar went after her humiliation by Amnon was to the house of her brother, Absalom. It is interesting to note that she did not go to her father. Was this because she believed she would get no sympathy or revenge from David?  We can only conjecture, but it does raise questions regarding David’s relationships with his children. The only thing we read of David’s emotions during this time is that he was angry. But his anger never took the form of action. In fact, two years would pass before anything happened to Amnon for his act of violating his sister, and David would play no part in it. Except for the fact, that his refusal to do the right thing had lead to another of his sons doing a very wrong thing.

Absalom had been planning and plotting. He hated Amnon for what he had done to Tamar. And we will learn later that Absalom also held a grudge with David for having done nothing to punish Amnon for his transgression. He lost respect for David as a father and as a king. And as we will see later in the story, he would eventually seize the throne from David.

But Absalom, tired of waiting for his father to do the right thing, took matters into his own hands and planned the death of Amnon. It was a well-thought-out plan that also used deception, just as Amnon had done to rape Tamar. Absalom lied to his father in order to get David to agree to send all of his sons to a join Absalom at Baal-hazor. Absalom’s servants would be shearing his sheep and he was going to treat his brothers to a feast in celebration of a bountiful harvest of wool. Initially, Absalom had invited David to come, but seemed to have known that David would decline the offer because of his duties as the king. And David was a little surprised that Absalom had asked specifically for Amnon to come. But under pressure from Absalom, David finally agreed and sent all his sons to Baal-hazor – a decision he would soon regret.

Absalom commanded his servants, “Wait until Amnon gets drunk; then at my signal, kill him! Don’t be afraid. I’m the one who has given the command. Take courage and do it!” (2 Samuel 13:28 NLT). These instruction should sound vaguely familiar. When David wanted to get rid of Uriah so he could marry Bathsheba, he had given Joab instructions: “Station Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed” (2 Samuel 11:15 NLT). Then when the deed had been done, he followed up with a a second message to Joab: “‘Well, tell Joab not to be discouraged,’ David said. ‘The sword devours this one today and that one tomorrow! Fight harder next time, and conquer the city!’” (2 Samuel 11:25 NLT). Like his father, Absalom chose to use someone else to do his dirty work for him. He would not bloody his own hands, but was more than willing to take the responsibility for Amnon’s death. Both men show a flippancy and disturbing disregard for what they had done.

In all the confusion after Amnon’s death, news was taken to David that wrongly informed him that all of his sons had been killed. His immediate reaction was to tear his clothes and fall on the ground in grief. But once again, he took no action. And his servants followed his example. It was Jonadab, David’s nephew, who informed him of what had happened.

“No, don’t believe that all the king’s sons have been killed! It was only Amnon! Absalom has been plotting this ever since Amnon raped his sister Tamar.” – 2 Samuel 13:32 NLT

Jonadab had a reason to rat on Absalom. He was Amnon’s friend and the one who had given him the bright idea how to lure Tamar into his room so he could rape her. He most likely feared for his own life, believing that Absalom might come after him next. But once again, we see David take no action. And the very next verse reveals that Absalom got away – not only with the murder of his brother, but with his own life.

When David had been confronted by the prophet, Nathan, for his sin with Bathsheba, one of the things he said to him was, “Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife” (2 Samuel 12:10 ESV). This statement could be taken as a prophecy regarding the wars that David would fight all during his reign. But it would mean that his heirs would have the same problem. Yet, we know that Solomon ruled during a time of great peace and prosperity. So, it is likely that Nathan’s reference to the sword and David’s house, has to do with the battles that would take place within his own family. This would not be the last death of a family member that David would have to endure. He would live to see Absalom die. And at the end of Solomon’s reign, the kingdom would end up divided and the kings of Judah, David’s heirs to his throne, would spend years fighting with one another. There would be assassinations, deception, palace intrigue and a revolving door of kings. So, David’s sin and God’s punishment for that sin was going to have long-term implications both in David’s household and within his royal house.

What would have happened had David dealt with Amnon’s rape of Tamar? How could things have turned out differently had David stepped up and done what was right? Now, his heir to the throne was dead and another son was in exile. And David made no attempt to bring Absalom back and face the consequences for his actions. His inaction would lead to further trouble in his household and within his kingdom. Sin, left unattended and unconfessed is dangerous in the life of a believer. But it is just as dangerous to ignore the sin within the family of God. We may choose to tolerate it or sweep it under the carpet, but sin always has consequences. David was a father and the king. He had responsibilities to his family and his people. He answered to God for the health and well-being of both. And God is not one to tolerate sin or to take it lightly. Amnon paid for his sin. So would Absalom. But what might have happened had David done what he was supposed to do?

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

When Our Sins Come Home.

Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David’s son, loved her. And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”

Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go to your brother Amnon’s house and prepare food for him.” So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, where he was lying down. And she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Send out everyone from me.” So everyone went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the chamber, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” She answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing. As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her.

Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!” But she said to him, “No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. He called the young man who served him and said, “Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her.” Now she was wearing a long robe with sleeves, for thus were the virgin daughters of the king dressed. So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.– 2 Samuel 13:1-19 ESV

In this chapter, we will see yet another ugly consequence of David’s disobedience to the commands of God. He had been forgiven by God for his sins, but that did not mean there would be no consequences. In this case, we begin to see one of the unexpected consequences of David’s violation of God’s command for the king not to marry multiple wives. Three of David’s children are involved in this story. Two of them, Absalom and Tamar, were born to David by his wife, Maacah. Absalom was born while David reigned in Hebron. Tamar was most likely born after David had moved his capital to Jerusalem. Amnon was born in Hebron as well, but to a different mother, Ahinoam. David had many wives and even more children. Like any family, there would be sibling rivalry and conflicts between children. But his hyper-blended family was going to prove to be a breeding ground for trouble. And one of the things that will stand out as this story unfolds is David’s less-than-stellar parenting skills. He may have been a mighty warrior and military leader, but he appears to lack what it takes to lead his large collection of children. And this disconnection from his children will only grow worse and more deadly as the sordid details of the events become known to him.

We’re told that Amnon “loved” his half-sister, Tamar. She was young, beautiful and a virgin. And while the text claims that love was involved, it is interesting to note that the Hebrew word used to describe Amnon’s affection for Tamar can actually refer to sexual love. And as the story will so graphically demonstrate, Amnon’s attraction to his half-sister was purely physical. He lusted after her. So much so, that he made himself sick thinking about it. In his mind, Tamar was off-limits and he racked his brain constantly trying to figure out how he might have her, even as he was having immoral and inappropriate thoughts about her. With the advice of a close friend, Amnon devised a plot to carry out his lust-driven desire to have Tamar. And his father, David, unknowingly went along with it. He was oblivious to what was going on. So, he sent Tamar to take food to her “sick” brother, not knowing what Amnon had planned for her. And Amnon ended up raping his sister, against her will and despite her impassioned pleas to stop.

Tamar begged Amnon to consider what he was doing. She pleaded, “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me” (2 Samuel 13:12-13 NLT). It would not have been unprecedented for David to have agreed to a marriage between the two of them. It was a common practice in those days. Abraham had married his half-sister, Sarah (Genesis 20:12). But Amnon was not interested in marriage. He was not persuaded by Tamar’s warnings about the damage this act would do to his reputation. He could care less. He was driven by lust. And we know the deadly outcome of a life motivated by lust.

…each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. – James 1:14-15 ESV

As we see, once Amnon got what he wanted, his “love” for Tamar would turn to hatred. Having satisfied his sexual desire, he saw no more need for her. He threw her out like a used, unneeded object. He took her virginity by force and left her to deal with the shame, dishonor and humiliation all alone. She was thrown out by force. She was discarded like trash, used up and no longer of any value to Amnon. And she tore her robe and covered her head in ashes, a sign of mourning over her lost virginity. In that culture, Tamar would now be considered damaged goods. It did not matter that she was the daughter of the king. She was no longer a virgin. She would be treated with disdain and viewed with disrespect, regardless of the circumstances. No man would want her. He young life had been ruined, all because Amnon could not or would not contain his lust. He was a man driven by sexual desire. Any love he had for Tamar had been overshadowed by his lust. He had long ago stopped seeing her as his sister or even as a woman. She was an object, a trophy to be won and a forbidden desire to be satisfied – at any cost.

But this will not be the end of this story. It will get worse. As James so pointedly puts it: “and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” The most telling part of the story will be the role David plays. What will he do when he finds out what happens? How will he handle this devastating event that took place in his own home between two of his own children? David was the king, but he was also a father and a husband. How would he lead? He knew how to fight the enemies of Israel and win, but did he know how to do battle with the enemy within the walls of his own home? David was going to learn that inaction and avoidance would be inadequate reactions to what had happened. To do nothing, while the easier path to take, was going to prove disastrous and deadly.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

David’s Achilles Heel.

There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. And David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul became weaker and weaker.

And sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; and the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; and the sixth, Ithream, of Eglah, David's wife. These were born to David in Hebron. – 2 Samuel 3:1-5 ESV

We already know that David was considered a man after God’s own heart. This was not a designation made by David or any other man. It was conferred upon him by the prophet of God under the divine inspiration of the Spirit of God. Years earlier, Samuel had broken the bad news to Saul. “But now your kingdom must end, for the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart. The LORD has already appointed him to be the leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD’s command” (1 Samuel 13:14 NLT). Centuries later, the apostle Paul, while preaching to the Jews in the synagogue at Antioch, reconfirmed this divine designation of David as a man after His own heart.

“After that, God gave them judges to rule until the time of Samuel the prophet. Then the people begged for a king, and God gave them Saul son of Kish, a man of the tribe of Benjamin, who reigned for forty years. But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.” – Acts 13:20-22 NLT

But as we have already see, this lofty-sounding description of David did not mean he was perfect or without sin. Like any other man, David struggled with his own sin nature. He could be prone to disobedience and doubt, just like anybody else. And he had his own unique set of sins with which he struggled. One, in particular, would prove to be a constant source of temptation and testing for him: Women.

In the opening lines of this chapter, we’re told “There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David.” But there was another battle brewing in the life of David. While he was growing stronger in his military position over Abner and the house of Saul, David was literally sowing the seeds of dissent and future discord that would rip his kingdom apart. It is important to note that God had made ample preparations for the arrival of a king on the scene. In fact, He had ordained that there would be a king over Israel. And He knew that the people would tend to want the wrong kind of king. So, He provided them with very clear commands:

“You are about to enter the land the Lord your God is giving you. When you take it over and settle there, you may think, ‘We should select a king to rule over us like the other nations around us.’ If this happens, be sure to select as king the man the Lord your God chooses. You must appoint a fellow Israelite; he may not be a foreigner.

“The king must not build up a large stable of horses for himself or send his people to Egypt to buy horses, for the Lord has told you, ‘You must never return to Egypt.’ The king must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the Lord. And he must not accumulate large amounts of wealth in silver and gold for himself.” – Deuteronomy 17:14-117 NLT

Somewhat hidden and overlooked in this divine command is God’s prohibition against polygamy. When it came to “the man the Lord your God chooses,” he must “not take many wives for himself.” And God was very clear as to His reason behind this command. “because they will turn his heart away from the Lord.” And yet, we read in these opening verses of chapter 3, “And sons were born to David at Hebron.” Nothing wrong with that statement, until you read the following verses and notice the various mothers listed: Ahinoam of Jezreel, Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel, Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur, and Eglah. And not in this list is Michal, David’s first wife, the daughter of Saul. So effectively, at this early point in his reign, David had five wives. He would go on to have as many as eight.

It doesn’t take a stretch of the imagination to determine that David had an inordinate attraction to women. And he tended to act on it. Abigail is listed as one of his wives. She was the widow of Nabal, whom God destroyed. But David barely let Nabal’s body cool off before he took Abigail as his wife. David could be impulsive. And if we fast-forward to one of the most famous or infamous events in David’s life, we will see that his impulsiveness also led him to commit not only adultery, but murder. Glance over at 2 Samuel 11 and you will see the story of David and Bathsheba, a personal low point in David’s life that got permanently chronicled in the Scriptures. At a time when David, as king, should have been leading his troops in battle, he had determined to stay home. And one day, while walking about the roof of his palace, he saw Bathsheba bathing on the roof of her own home. There are some who speculate that this was not the first time David had spied Bathsheba bathing. It could have been the very reason he stayed home from battle. And his act of voyeurism resulted in him having Bathsheba brought to him. Their illicit liasson would result in an unexpected pregnancy. And since Bathsheba’s husband, a soldier in David’s own army was off at war, it was going to be hard to explain how his wife became pregnant. That’s when David launched an all-out effort to cover his sin. But his strategy failed and he ultimately resorted to having Bathsheba’s husband murdered by commanding that he be exposed to enemy fire on the front lines.

This is not a stellar moment in David’s life. But it provides a glimpse into a highly vulnerable area of his life. David’s love affair with women would prove to be problematic throughout his reign. In fact, if we look at the list of sons mentioned in these opening verses of chapter three, we see Amnon and Absalom. These two brothers born to different mothers would grow up to cause David much pain and suffering. In 2 Samuel 13, we have the sad story of Amnon’s rape of Tamar, his half-sister. Later on, in that very same chapter, we read of Absalom’s orchestration of Amnon’s murder, out of revenge for what he had done to Tamar, his sister. Absalom would be forced into exile for what he had done, but would later return, only to orchestrate the overthrow of his own father’s kingdom.

Verses 1-5 of chapter 3 seem innocent enough, but they foreshadow a future filled with brokenness, pain and suffering. And it began with David’s unwillingness to obey the command of God. And while David never seemed to allow his many wives to lead him away from his love and worship for God, his son, Solomon would. Solomon would follow in his father’s footsteps, suffering from the same addictive tendencies. In fact, Solomon would outdo his father in a major way, eventually amassing for himself a staggering 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:1-3). And just as God had warned, these women, many of whom were from foreign nations and worshiped pagan gods, would eventually cause Solomon to erect their idols throughout his own kingdom. The book of 1 Kings paints a very bleak picture of the closing days of Solomon’s reign.

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, “You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love. 3 He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. So Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and did not wholly follow the Lord, as David his father had done. Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, and for Molech the abomination of the Ammonites, on the mountain east of Jerusalem. And so he did for all his foreign wives, who made offerings and sacrificed to their gods. – 1 Kings 11:1-8 ESV

And it all began with David. A little compromise. A giving in to the desires of the flesh. A refusal to obey God fully and heed His warning. The long-term ramifications for sin can be devastating. Yes, David would be forgiven by God when he repented of his sin with Bathsheba, but the child she bore would die as a result. There are consequences to disobedience. God blessed David’s kingdom, but his many wives would prove to be a constant source of trouble in his life. David’s battle with the house of Saul would be nothing compared to the spiritual war he would wage as a result of his own sin nature.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Rights Run Amuck.

2 Samuel 13-14, 1 Corinthians 9

Nevertheless, we have not made use of this right, but we endure anything rather than put an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Christ. – 1 Corinthians 9:12 ESV

We put a high priority on our rights. But the problem with rights is that they can become expectations, and those expectations, when unmet, can lead to disappointment which can culminate in sin. So much of what we label as rights have more to do with what John refers to as “the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life” (1 John 2:16 ESV). There are things in this world that we believe are “rightfully” ours to have. It could be a new car, a bigger house, nicer clothes, a better paying job, respect, popularity, good health, or more money. And while God has not necessarily promised us these things, if we convince ourselves that we somehow deserve them, we will not be content until we have them. We will see it as our right, and anyone who stands in our way of fulfilling that right will be seen as our enemy. Many of the things we want or believe we deserve are perfectly fine to have, but the issue is less about rights than it is about lust. And when our perceived rights become an obsession for us, the result is an incapacity to love those around us. Our love of our rights takes precedence over our God-given responsibility to love others.

What does this passage reveal about God?

When asked what the two greatest commandments were, Jesus was quite specific. He said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39 ESV). So according to Jesus, we are to love God and love others. Everything else found in the law of Moses and in the writing of the prophets could be summed up in these two commands. But our rights have a way of hindering our ability to faithfully fulfill either command. If I don't get what I think I deserve or what I believe is rightfully mine to have, I will become frustrated with God. I might even find myself falling out of love with God, because I am disappointed in His failure to give me what I want. But my obligation to love God should take precedence over any obsession I may have regarding “the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life.” I must be willing to die to my rights for the sake of loving God and loving others. Paul knew this well and lived it out in his everyday life.

What does this passage reveal about man?

What an amazing contrast there is between the life of Paul and the life of Amnon. At first glance, you might think there is little to compare between these two men, but at the heart of both passages is the subject of rights. Amnon believed he had a right to satisfy his lust for his half-sister, Tamar. The author makes it quite clear that Amnon desperately wanted Tamar, and while it says that he loved her, his real attraction seems to have been sexual in nature. He was so obsessed with her that he literally made himself sick. “Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar” (2 Samuel 13:2 ESV). And with encouragement from “crafty” friend, Amnon eventually demanded his rights, forcefully raping Tamar against her will. He believed he had a right to what he wanted, and he did whatever he had to do to get it. Interestingly, the passage says that “Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her” (2 Samuel 13:15 ESV). Not only had Amnon failed to love God by violating His commands, he had allowed his rights to get in the way of his love for Tamar. Lust superceded love. Perceived rights got in the way of doing what was right in God's eyes.

But Paul gives us a model of what it means to hold on to our rights loosely. The entire ninth chapter of 1 Corinthians has to do with the issue of rights. Chapter eight dealt with a problem in the Corinthian church regarding meat offered to idols. There were more mature believers who were demanding their right to eat this meat because they knew that there were no such thing as other gods. They were spiritually mature enough to know that the meat was perfectly fine to eat. But Paul was telling them to give up their rights out of love for their weaker brothers. If someone else, who had just come out of a pagan religion where those false gods were very real, still believed that eating meat sacrificed to those gods was wrong, the last thing you would want to do is to flaunt your rights and cause them to violate their own conscience. Paul refused to make a big deal out of his rights. “Nevertheless, we have not made use of this right, but we endure anything rather than put an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Christ” (1 Corinthians 9:12 ESV). Rather than demand his rights, Paul died to them. He didn't want anything to stand in the way of the gospel, including his rights.

How would I apply what I’ve read to my own life?

It is so easy to let our rights get in the way of our primary objective as followers of Christ. We are to love God and love others. Our focus is to be outward, not inward. But as soon as I start making a big deal out of my rights, I lose focus. It becomes all about me. But Paul would remind us, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4 ESV). Put others first. Don't make it all about you. Be willing to die to your rights. And Paul provides Jesus as a perfect example of this very attitude. In fact, Paul tells us to have the same attitude that Christ had: “though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:6-8 ESV). Jesus gave up His rights as the Son of God and came to earth. He gave up His divine privileges and position of power and honor next to the Father. He set aside His rights in order to love mankind. Rather than look out for His own personal interests and demand His rights, He placed our well-being ahead of His own. When we allow our rights to rule us, we will end up loving ourselves more than we love God or others. Amnon is a perfect example of this truth. But Paul provides us with a viable alternative. He gave up his rights, so that he might keep his eye on the prize: the faithful presentation of the gospel and the unselfish expression of God's love for others through his own life and ministry.

Father, forgive me for making far too much out of my rights. Don't let me be like Amnon, who was driven by his own desires and convinced himself that his rights were worth doing anything for. I want to be like Paul, willingly giving up my rights for the sake of the gospel and out of love for others. May I increasingly have the same attitude that Christ had. Amen