34 But Absalom fled. And the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; as your servant said, so it has come about.” 36 And as soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and lifted up their voice and wept. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly.
37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead. – 2 Samuel 13:34-39 ESV
Three times in just seven verses the words, “Absalom fled” appear. It’s almost as if the author is trying to make a point. Amnon was dead but Absalom got away. David wept at the news but Absalom got away. David mourned while Absalom got away. He had arranged for and accomplished the murder of his half-brother Amnon and, literally, got away with it. He killed the rightful heir to the throne and lived to tell about it. No troops were sent to pursue him. In fact, no action was taken to bring him to justice.
One might suggest that David was too busy mourning the death of Amnon to do anything about his fugitive son Absalom. But it would appear that David’s grief was not focused on Amnon’s death but on Absalom’s dastardly deed and disappearance. In a sense, David had lost two sons. When it came to death, David had a unique perspective. We see it in his reaction to the death of the infant son born to him and Bathsheba. Upon receiving news that his son had passed, “David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate” (2 Samuel 12:20 NLT).
When David noticed that his servants were surprised by the sudden change in his demeanor, David informed them, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me” (2 Samuel 12:21-22 NLT).
David seems to take this same attitude with the death of Amnon. He was gone and nothing David did would ever bring him back. But, for David, the loss of Absalom was even more painful because he was still alive. Yet, David knew that he couldn’t just invite Absalom back into the family as if nothing had happened. As king, David had a responsibility to enact justice and hold his son accountable for his actions. If Absalom were to return, he would have to die for the murder of Amnon. So, David did nothing. Leaving Absalom in exile allowed him to live but for David, he was as good as dead. So, he mourned and he wept, day after day. He had lost two sons in one tragic incident.
But the saddest part of this entire story is that David could have prevented all of it from happening. Had he dealt with Amnon’s rape of Tamar by fulfilling the law of God and dispensing justice, Absalom would not have been forced to seek revenge. David’s passive parenting style ended up causing more pain in the long run. His refusal to deal with Amnon by disciplining him appropriately left Absalom frustrated by the lack of justice in his own home. His younger sister had been raped and humiliated, but nothing had been done to punish the guilty party.
For three years, David allowed his son to remain safely ensconced in Geshur, a region northeast of the Sea of Galilee, where Absalom found refuge among his mother’s people. According to 2 Samuel 3:3, she was “the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur.” During his exile, Absalom was probably treated as royalty, enjoying all the privileges that come with being the grandson of the king. But during Absalom’s absence, David’s heart went out after him; he missed Absalom and longed to see him. But he knew that if he brought Absalom back, he would have to do the right thing and punish him for what he had done. So David did nothing. As a parent, he excused his son’s behavior. As a king, let a murderer escape justice. Yet, in the Book of Deuteronomy, Moses provided God’s very clear guidelines regarding justice.
You shall appoint judges and officers in all your towns that the Lord your God is giving you, according to your tribes, and they shall judge the people with righteous judgment. You shall not pervert justice. You shall not show partiality, and you shall not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and subverts the cause of the righteous. Justice, and only justice, you shall follow, that you may live and inherit the land that the Lord your God is giving you. – Deuteronomy 16:18-20 ESV
There was to be no perverting of justice and no partiality in terms of its application. By refusing to pursue and punish Absalom, David had violated both aspects of God’s command. As king, David would have been familiar with these laws and he would have known what was expected of him. The Book of Deuteronomy goes on to explain how the king of Israel was to familiarize himself with all of God’s laws.
And when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself in a book a copy of this law, approved by the Levitical priests. And it shall be with him, and he shall read in it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God by keeping all the words of this law and these statutes, and doing them, that his heart may not be lifted up above his brothers, and that he may not turn aside from the commandment, either to the right hand or to the left, so that he may continue long in his kingdom, he and his children, in Israel. – Deuteronomy 17:18-20 ESV
David knew what God required, but refused to do it. He had conveniently ignored God’s command because it conflicted with his own sense of fairness. He couldn’t bring himself to mete out justice to his own son. If you recall, when Nathan confronted David about his sin with Bathsheba, he told a story about a rich man abusing and taking advantage of a poor man. David had no problem showing righteous indignation and demanding justice when it involved someone else’s transgression. But when it involved his own son, David remained silent.
The law of God was clear concerning murder. Again, the Book of Deuteronomy provides explicit instructions on how to deal with those who commit murder.
But if anyone hates his neighbor and lies in wait for him and attacks him and strikes him fatally so that he dies, and he flees into one of these cities, then the elders of his city shall send and take him from there, and hand him over to the avenger of blood, so that he may die. Your eye shall not pity him, but you shall purge the guilt of innocent blood from Israel, so that it may be well with you. – Deuteronomy 19:11-13 ESV
The guilty party was to be given no refuge, shown no pity, and provided with no special treatment, even if he was a son of the king. David was obligated by law to purge the guilt of innocent blood from Israel. But he refused to do so – for three years.
In his letter to the Galatian believers, Paul gave a warning against sowing to the flesh; in other words, giving in to what our sinful nature wants us to do.
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption… – Galatians 6:7-8 ESV
In sinning with Bathsheba, David had sowed to his own flesh. He had given in to his base desires and committed an unlawful act. Then he followed it up by having Bathsheba’s husband murdered to cover up his actions. While God forgave David for his sins, David still had to suffer the consequences they created. The infant son born to him and Bathsheba died as a result of their adulterous affair. Not only that, David was told that, as a result of his sin, the sword would not depart from his house. There would be trouble and conflict within his own home, not just his kingdom.
Then Amnon raped Tamar, which led to Absalom killing Amnon. Now Absalom was living in exile, guilty of murder and deserving of death. Through it all, David did nothing. He remained silent and inactive. He was the king and the final arbiter of justice for the kingdom, but he refused to do his job, and his inaction would reap the whirlwind. Things would get worse before they got better. David could ignore the will of God, but he could not escape the justice of God. He could refuse to do what God called him to do, but God would ensure that His justice was not perverted. God would not be mocked.
Yet, how often do we think we can get away with murder – not literally, but figuratively? We think we can sin, seek forgiveness, and then escape any repercussions for our sins. We wrongly believe we can simply ignore our sins and still enjoy God’s blessings on our lives. We know what He would have us do, but we choose our will over His, then wonder why things don’t turn out as expected. God will not be mocked, by the king or anyone else. Passivity to sin is always dangerous. It is a cancer that spreads, ultimately bringing death and destruction. To ignore it is to invite further pain and suffering into our lives. What we reap, we will always sow.
English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.