Words of Wisdom

14 Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice,
    rising early in the morning,
    will be counted as cursing.
15 A continual dripping on a rainy day
    and a quarrelsome wife are alike;
16 to restrain her is to restrain the wind
    or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.
17 Iron sharpens iron,
    and one man sharpens another.
18 Whoever tends a fig tree will eat its fruit,
    and he who guards his master will be honored.
19 As in water face reflects face,
    so the heart of man reflects the man.
20 Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied,
    and never satisfied are the eyes of man.
21 The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold,
    and a man is tested by his praise.
22 Crush a fool in a mortar with a pestle
    along with crushed grain,
    yet his folly will not depart from him.

23 Know well the condition of your flocks,
    and give attention to your herds,
24 for riches do not last forever;
    and does a crown endure to all generations?
25 When the grass is gone and the new growth appears
    and the vegetation of the mountains is gathered,
26 the lambs will provide your clothing,
    and the goats the price of a field.
27 There will be enough goats’ milk for your food,
    for the food of your household
    and maintenance for your girls. – Proverbs 27:14-27 ESV

Words matter because they provide a great barometer for measuring the condition of a man’s heart. They are the outward manifestation of one’s inner spiritual state and serve as powerful indicators of heart health.  Jesus put it this way:

“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” – Luke 6:45 NLT

And the apostle James echoed the words of Jesus but added his own description of just how dangerous and deadly the tongue can be.

…but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, this should not be! Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? – James 3:8-11 BSB

So, it is no wonder that Solomon’s collection of wise sayings has a great deal to say about the tongue and the vital role it plays in all our human interactions. It seems that the tongue has an almost unique capacity to cause joy or pain. With the tongue, we can lift a person up or tear them down. We can compliment or we can complain. We can use it to do good or a great deal of damage. And only a wise person knows how to wield the tongue correctly. When it comes to the tongue, timing is everything. The right thing said at the wrong time can end up producing a bad outcome.

A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning
    will be taken as a curse! – Proverbs 27:14 NLT

Knowing what to say and when to say it is vital if one wants their speech to be effective.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. – Proverbs 25:11 ESV

It takes godly wisdom to know when to speak up and when to shut up. And it requires discernment to know when you’ve said too much.

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying
    as constant dripping on a rainy day.
Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind
    or trying to hold something with greased hands. – Proverbs 27:15-16 NLT

There may be ample reasons for a wife to complain about her husband’s behavior. She may have every right to express her dissatisfaction with his treatment of her, but this proverb describes a woman who persistently and unrelentingly nags her husband. Her words have become caustic and unproductive. Rather than changing her husband’s behavior, she ends up driving him away. But Proverbs 31 describes a very different kind of woman who uses her wisdom and her speech to produce a very different outcome.

She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness. – Proverbs 31:25-26 NLT

The tongue can be a helpful resource for lifting up and encouraging others. For a person with wisdom, it can be a powerful tool for transforming the lives of friends and enemies alike.

As iron sharpens iron,
    so a friend sharpens a friend. – Proverbs 27:17 NLT

Praise is a powerful commodity but it should be used wisely and sparingly. Too much praise can produce pride. Too little praise can result in resentment and bitterness. Everyone needs to hear words of praise on occasion, but when it is given it must be sincere and well-deserved. False praise is nothing more than lying. Praising someone who has an addiction to praise can be destructive. Failing to praise someone who is deserving of praise is ultimately selfish and like stealing what is rightfully theirs.

The writer of Proverbs 27 knows the power of praise and warns us about it.

Fire tests the purity of silver and gold,
    but a person is tested by being praised. – Proverbs 27:21 NLT

Like fire, praise can do much good, but it can also be dangerous if treated flippantly or foolishly. He warns us against self-praise, which is basically bragging. Nobody likes to be around a braggart, yet we’re all guilty of it at times. We want others to know our accomplishments and to be impressed with our exploits. Self-praise can be as simple as hanging all your diplomas on the wall of your office for everyone to see. If it is meant to impress, it is self-praise, and self-praise is never attractive.

Self-praise can be as innocent as fishing for compliments by chumming the water with stories of your good deeds. It is manipulative and unattractive to watch. We are warned, "Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth – a stranger, not your own lips" (Proverbs 27:2 NLT).

One of the hard realities of life is that the lack of praise we experience may be the result of us having done nothing praise-worthy. But it could also be that any praises we receive are meant for the ears of others. Those praising us may be telling our boss or supervisor. They may be praising us to their friends. We may not hear it, but we benefit from their praise just the same. If we HAVE to hear praise to benefit from it, our motivation needs to be questioned.

How we receive praise reveals much about us. "A person is tested by being praised" (Proverbs 27:21b NLT). In other words, if praise tends to make us proud and puffed up, it is exposing a heart problem. It is showing us that we have a character flaw. We crave praise. We are addicted to praise. We are motivated by praise.

If we don't receive it, we lose our motivation. We become like an actor who loses his love of acting because he fails to receive the applause he thinks he so richly deserves. At that point, he is acting for the applause, not because he loves to act. If we require the praise of others to make us do what God requires of us, we are doing it for the wrong reason. Doing good deeds in exchange for praise turns our efforts into nothing more than a job. It becomes little more than energy expended in exchange for payment. But we are to do good deeds out of the motivation to honor God. Our efforts are for His praise and glory, not our own. Any praise we receive is an extra-added bonus. It is to be like a sacrifice. Those who brought sacrifices to God did not receive applause from the crowd standing around them. Their effort was what was expected of them as servants of God.

But praise is not a sin. It is a vital part of doing life together as human beings. The key is that praise is something to be given and not sought. It is like a commodity we have that is to be shared with others, sparingly and wisely. Too much praise, like too much honey, can make the other person sick. When it comes to praise, you can have too much of a good thing. And man’s love for praise can become insatiable.

Just as Death and Destruction are never satisfied,
    so human desire is never satisfied. – Proverbs 27:20 NLT

Praising a child for anything and everything can end up making them proud, arrogant, and addicted to praise. When they grow up and don't receive it, they will become angry, resentful, and begin to question their own self-worth. Too little praise can be destructive as well. Withholding praise is nothing short of cruel. It is like refusing to pay an employee for a job well done. But for some of us, words of praise are difficult to produce. Maybe it's because we failed to hear them as children. We are unaccustomed to hearing words of praise. But words of encouragement can be a gift we give to those in need. They can be like water to a thirsty man – refreshing, reinvigorating, and re-energizing. It takes wisdom to know how to use praise effectively. False praise is disingenuous and deceitful. It's nothing short of flattery designed to benefit the one giving it. False praise is ultimately self-centered.

Praise is powerful. It has the potential for doing harm and good. So, it is to be used wisely and carefully. It is not something to be sought, but to be given. The praises of men should never be our motivation. Seeking to please God is what should drive us, inspire us, and motivate us. The praises of men, when given, are to be received humbly, gratefully, and with an understanding that the one who really deserves credit for them is God.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Cultivating True Community

1 Do not boast about tomorrow,
    for you do not know what a day may bring.
2 Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
    a stranger, and not your own lips.
3 A stone is heavy, and sand is weighty,
    but a fool’s provocation is heavier than both.
4 Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming,
    but who can stand before jealousy?
5 Better is open rebuke
    than hidden love.
6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
7 One who is full loathes honey,
    but to one who is hungry everything bitter is sweet.
8 Like a bird that strays from its nest
    is a man who strays from his home.
9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
    and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
10 Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend,
    and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity.
Better is a neighbor who is near
    than a brother who is far away.
11 Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad,
    that I may answer him who reproaches me.
12 The prudent sees danger and hides himself,
    but the simple go on and suffer for it.
13 Take a man’s garment when he has put up security for a stranger,
    and hold it in pledge when he puts up security for an adulteress. – Proverbs 27:1-13 ESV

Let's face it. Relationships are messy. Living with others can be difficult at times. But there is a huge advantage to living in true biblical community. And the Proverbs have a lot to say about the impact of wisdom and foolishness on our relationships. While we can attempt to isolate ourselves from interaction with others, no one lives in a vacuum. And, whether we like it or not, we will eventually end up dealing with people from all walks of life and from every conceivable background. Even a few fools will cross our path as we navigate our way through life. 

But this chapter continues to differentiate between the wise and the foolish, describing how each displays certain characteristics – some to be emulated and others to be avoided.

When it comes to relationships, a fool is self-centered, myopic, and tends to only think about himself. He lives his life with a certain level of insensitivity and never thinks about how his words and actions will impact those around him. In fact, he doesn't even care. Because of their self-focused manner of life, fools tend to think too highly of themselves and have a distorted view of reality. That’s why the wise person should heed the following advice.

Don’t brag about tomorrow,
    since you don’t know what the day will bring

Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth—
    a stranger, not your own lips. – Proverbs 27:1-2 NLT

Instead, a man or woman of wisdom should readily accept their responsibility to care about and for those around them, and they should live accordingly.

Fools tend to leave a wake of disrupted relationships in their path. They are relationship wreckers who allow resentment, anger, and jealousy to wreak havoc on all those around them.

A stone is heavy and sand is weighty,
    but the resentment caused by a fool is even heavier.

Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood,
    but jealousy is even more dangerous. – Proverbs 27:3-4 NLT

Those who care about community understand that words are powerful. They know that there will be times when words of encouragement are needed, but also times when a word of warning or rebuke is necessary. In a healthy relationship, to withhold a much-deserved rebuke is as wrong as refusing to express our love verbally. 

An open rebuke
    is better than hidden love! – Proverbs 27:5 NLT).

While correction and criticism are never easy to receive, a true friend will care enough about us to tell us the hard truth.

Wounds from a sincere friend
    are better than many kisses from an enemy. – Proverbs 27:6 NLT)

Fools make a habit of telling others what they want to hear. They use flattery to win others over but never truly mean what they say. And while a fool will butter someone up by telling them how wonderful they are, they will overlook the faults that are preventing that person from being who God wants them to be. False flattery is deadly. It puffs us up and gives us a false sense of confidence and feeds our self-righteousness. But a true friend will tell us the truth, even if it hurts.

As iron sharpens iron,
    so a friend sharpens a friend. – Proverbs 27:17 NLT

Friendships should involve some friction but it should be productive and not destructive. As we rub up against one another in our relationships there should be a certain give-and-take that allows us to push, prod, and pull each other towards increased righteousness.

But if we are honest, we have to admit that many of our relationships are shallow and dishonest. We refuse to speak the truth into one another’s lives. We openly tolerate godlessness and flatter one another with words of kindness when what we really need is a swift kick in the pants and a dose of reality.

The heartfelt counsel of a friend
    is as sweet as perfume and incense. – Proverbs 27:9 NLT

Yet, many of us are afraid to play hardball in our relationships because we fear what others may say about how we live our lives. We're afraid that if we critique someone else's life, it will leave the door open for them to return the favor. And, most likely, they will. But we should welcome it.

The truth is, most of us have no idea what we're really like. We can't see our faults and weaknesses. Our foolish friends will leave us thinking we don't have any. But a true friend will point them out in a loving, caring way, and help us take steps to correct them. They are able to see the true condition of our hearts, something we can't do on our own. "

As a face is reflected in water,
    so the heart reflects the real person. – Proverbs 27:19 NLT

We need one another. We need real relationships that produce real-life change. True biblical community is messy. It involves transparency, accountability, honesty, humility, patience and love. It takes work, but it is worth it. Cultivating true community has long-term, real-life benefits.

Never abandon a friend—
    either yours or your father’s.
When disaster strikes, you won’t have to ask your brother for assistance.
    It’s better to go to a neighbor than to a brother who lives far away. – Proverbs 27:10 NLT

You never know when you will need the help or counsel of a true friend. Life is full of all kinds of surprises and, in times of difficulty, you want to be surrounded by those who can step in and help. But you’ll want to make sure you’ve surrounded yourself with wise friends and not fools.

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.
    The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. – Proverbs 27:12 NLT

Prepare for the inevitable setbacks in life and maintain ongoing relationships with people who can provide wise counsel when you need it. In times of difficulty, a few friends with wisdom are of far greater value than a host of fools who lack sense. Life is too short and relationships are too important to waste your time cultivating friendships with fools. 

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Worth Reflecting On.

Proverbs 27

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” – Proverbs 27:19 NLT

What's the state of your heart today? Not the organ that pumps blood through your body, but your inner man. The word "heart" is the Hebrew word leb, and it refers to man's mind, will, heart, and understanding. It has to do with that inner part of us that drives us, motivates us and determines who we are and what we do. The heart is the seat of our emotions, the center of our decision-making, and the determiner of our actions. That's why this proverb compares looking into our heart to see who we are really like to looking at our reflection in a calm body of water. It is when we take a long, honest look at out heart – and closely examine our will, choices, loves, decisions, and attitudes, that we will gain a true picture of who we really are. But too often we ignore the condition of the heart, in ourselves and in others. Instead, we judge one another based on externals. We judge based on what we see on the surface. But that can be deceptive and dangerous. We have the capacity to manufacture outward behavior that is designed to influence what others think of us. We can come across as self-confident, happy, successful, with all our proverbial ducks in a row. We can fool others into thinking that we have our act together. But on the inside, we can be a fractured mess. We can be a muddled mix of discontentment, anger, resentment, depression, fear, and anxiety. Our hearts can be far from God, but we have learned to sleep-walk our way through life, going through the motions and faking a form of piety that is purely surface-based, lacking any kind of depth or basis in reality. Others look at us and see us as having it together. But in time, the truth will come out. Our hearts will get exposed.

As believers, we must learn to look at the heart. That is where God focuses His attention. Back when God had sent the prophet Samuel to look for a candidate to replace Saul as king of Israel, He gave Samuel a piece of important advice: “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7 NLT). The Lord looks at the heart. He isn't impressed with outward appearances. He is not swayed by our swagger or blown away by our pious play-acting. He looks right into our hearts and sees what we're really like. And we need to learn to do the same thing. But to do so is going to require a level of honesty and self-evaluation that is scary. We will have to use the Word of God to expose us for what we truly are. We are going to have to ask God to reveal all the flaws and faults that reside inside us. Rather than make excuses for our behavior, we will have to take the time to see what really motivated us to do what we did or say what we said. Instead of passing blame, we will have to consider the state of our own heart. Because the heart is the key to all that we do. The circumstances of life do not cause our behavior, they simply reveal what's inside. A man with anger and resentment in his heart does not need much to trigger and release what's inside. He will explode at the least little provocation. A fearful person does not require much for his fear to find its way to the surface. His fear will leak out at the least little sign of danger. The lustful person will find himself struggling with lust in the most unlikely of scenarios, because his problem is internal, not external.

Taking a long, hard look at the heart is a scary proposition. It requires a degree of honesty and transparency that is unheard of and uncommon in our day. We don't want to see what's in there. We don't want to have to expose the hidden areas inside us that are the true motivator behind our attitudes and actions. We would much rather pass blame, make excuses, and continue our charade of false piety. But God looks at the heart. He examines and exposes its true condition. And He wants to change us from the inside out. So He goes to the source. He deals with the root problem. And so should we.

Father, give me the gumption to take a long, hard look at my heart. Help me see it as You do. I can't see it without Your help. Open my eyes and help me see its true condition. Then give me the strength to change, through the power of Your Holy Spirit. Amen.

Timing Is Everything.

Proverbs 27

“A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse.” – Proverbs 27:14 NLT

When my wife was growing up, she was regularly woken up early on Saturday mornings by the sound of two pans being banged together as her father attempted to get the family up for breakfast. I remember the first time she told me that story, I couldn't help but have homicidal thoughts. Just the idea of someone waking me up in such a noisy, obnoxious way on the one day I could sleep in was too much for me. While I'm sure he meant well, there had to be a better way. I can't read the verse above and not think about this story. And I think my wife inherited some of her father's traits, because when our children were young she would wake them up each morning by yelling up the stairs, "Rise and shine! This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!" You could hear the groans coming from upstairs as the kids covered their ears with their pillows, pulled the covers up over their heads and attempted to go back to sleep. Not once did they rise and shine or rejoice in the day that the Lord had made. No, their demeanor was less than cheery and their outlook on the morning, far from positive.

While no real harm was done by my father-in-law or my wife, these stories remind me how important timing and tact cab be when it comes to our relationships with others. A lot of hurt and harm can be done by well-meaning individuals, all because they fail to think about how their actions might be perceived and received by others. Even the right words spoken at the wrong time can be hurtful. How many times have you had someone quote you a verse of Scripture when you were going through a difficult time, only to have that passage feel like fingernails on a chalkboard rather than encouraging words? Hearing the words, "All things work together for good" when you are in the midst of difficulties is not always uplifting or encouraging. Having someone cheerfully remind you that "God loves you!" when you are feeling unloved and uncared for, does not change your outlook or your circumstances. If anything, it may reinforce your feelings of abandonment and isolation. It may even make you angry.

When reading the verse above, I can't help but think about Ecclesiastes 3, the chapter made famous by the song "Turn, Turn, Turn," sung by Roger McGuin and the Byrds. The Book of Ecclesiastes was also written by King Solomon and in chapter 3, he reminds us about the importance of timing. He says, "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT). In God's grand design, there is a time for everything. He goes on to elaborate.

2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. 3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. 5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. 6 A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7 A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. 8 A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.

Timing is everything. There are times when banging pots and pans together is appropriate, and there are times when it is not. There are times when a cheerful greeting is encouraging, and there are times when it is anything but that. The point is that we need to assess the situation and determine the right action or words for the right moment. There are going to be those times when the right thing is to listen, not speak. There will be occasions where we simply cry with someone rather than try to fix them or quote Scripture at them. The challenge is to know how to determine the right response for each and every occasion. That takes wisdom. And wisdom comes from God. Only He can give us the discernment we need to offer the right response at the right time, each and every time.

Father, I desire the discernment to know how to respond well. I don't want to be someone who means well, but ends up doing harm in the long run. I need Your wisdom and insight so that I know how to offer the right response at just the right time. Amen.

Insatiable.

Proverbs 27

“Just as Death and Destruction are never satisfied, so human desire is never satisfied.” – Proverbs 27:20 NLT

It was the Rolling Stones who made famous the statement, "I can't get no satisfaction," but the message of those lyrics is timeless, even older than Mick Jagger himself. From the days of Adam and Eve, mankind has wrestled with an insatiable desire for more. It seems we have never satisfied. The garden, as good as God deemed it to be, just wasn't good enough for them. They had to have more. They had to get their hands on the ONE thing God told them they couldn't have. And the enemy turned that one prohibition into dissatisfaction and, ultimately into rebellion against God. God had given them all that they needed, but they determined it wasn't enough. They needed more.

The Message has a unique way of paraphrasing Scripture that makes it hit home. It says, "Hell has a voracious appetite, and lust just never quits." Hell is a bottomless pit whose quota never gets reached and whose occupancy sign is always shining brightly. There's always room for one more there. And our desire for more is just as insatiable and unquenchable. The world calls out to us like the old Lay's Potato chip commercial, "Bet you can't eat just one." It holds out its bag of delicious delicacies, tempting us with just a nibble, but knowing that once our taste buds kick into gear we won't be able to say no. One won't be enough. You'll have to have more. You won't be able to resist. Before you know it, the bag lays empty at your feet and your stomach aches with the uncomfortable fullness of having over-indulged once again.

There is a certain sense in which the degree of our satisfaction is directly linked to the level of our sanctification. The more we grow in God, the more satisfied we become in Him. The more holy we become, the more wholly we find out needs met in Him. We find ourselves needing less and less of what the world has to offer to meet our needs and satiate our desire for more. We grow increasingly more content with Him. Paul tells us from firsthand experience that "true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth" (1 Timothy 6:6 NLT). Godliness and contentment go hand in hand. They are two sides of the same coin. You can't be truly godly and lack contentment. You can't ever be content without a vibrant, growing relationship with God. It is our dissatisfaction with God that drives our search for satisfaction in the things of this world. But if we try and fill the God-shaped vacuum in our lives with anything other than God, we will find ourselves constantly disappointed and desiring even more.

If you find yourself unable to "get no satisfaction," it may be time for you to examine what source you're seeking your satisfaction from. God never disappoints. He never fails to satisfy. He is fully capable of meeting all our needs and satisfying all our desires. He fills AND fulfills us. He scratches our itch. He quenches our thirst. He satisfies our longings and eliminates our insatiable addiction for more. Human desire without divine intervention is unquenchable and uncontrollable. It is a demanding task master that's never satisfied until we find our satisfaction in Christ.

Father, forgive me for the many times I have turned to this world in an attempt to satisfy my desires. I have taken my eyes off of You and looked elsewhere for those things that only You can provide. Keep me focused on You. Keep me resting in You. Let me find my satisfaction in You. Amen.