Friends and Fools

1 Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;
    he breaks out against all sound judgment.
2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,
    but only in expressing his opinion.
3 When wickedness comes, contempt comes also,
    and with dishonor comes disgrace.
4 The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters;
    the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.
5 It is not good to be partial to the wicked
    or to deprive the righteous of justice.
6 A fool’s lips walk into a fight,
    and his mouth invites a beating.
7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin,
    and his lips are a snare to his soul.
8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels;
    they go down into the inner parts of the body.
9 Whoever is slack in his work
    is a brother to him who destroys.
10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower;
    the righteous man runs into it and is safe.
11 A rich man’s wealth is his strong city,
    and like a high wall in his imagination.
12 Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty,
    but humility comes before honor.
13 If one gives an answer before he hears,
    it is his folly and shame.
14 A man’s spirit will endure sickness,
    but a crushed spirit who can bear?
15 An intelligent heart acquires knowledge,
    and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
16 A man’s gift makes room for him
    and brings him before the great.
17 The one who states his case first seems right,
    until the other comes and examines him.
18 The lot puts an end to quarrels
    and decides between powerful contenders.
19 A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city,
    and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.
20 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied;
    he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
    and those who love it will eat its fruits.
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
    and obtains favor from the Lord.
23 The poor use entreaties,
    but the rich answer roughly.
24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother – Proverbs 18:1-24 ESV

Fools make lousy friends. Sure, they can be the life of the party and a lot of fun to be around but their lack of wisdom and discernment make them a poor choice for companionship. As verse one points out, fools are inherently selfish and self-centered, focusing most of their energy and thoughts on themselves.

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;
    he breaks out against all sound judgment. – Proverbs 18:1 ESV

Fools can be manipulative, using others for their own self-aggrandizement. To a fool, people become little more than resources to be used and discarded. They have no real need for friends and even less desire for friendly counsel.

Fools have no interest in understanding;
    they only want to air their own opinions. – Proverbs 18:2 NLT 

A true friend is willing to say the difficult things that need to be said. They point out our flaws and lovingly correct our failings. But a fool has no desire to have his faults exposed and the opinions of others are of no interest to him. In fact, he prefers the sound of his own voice.

Fools’ words get them into constant quarrels;
    they are asking for a beating.

The mouths of fools are their ruin;
    they trap themselves with their lips. – Proverbs 18:6-7 NLT

Fools tend to be combative and confrontational because they don’t like to have their point of view challenged or their way of life critiqued. Their subjective opinion always trumps objective truth. And they display a strong penchant for putting their mouth in gear before their brain is engaged.

Spouting off before listening to the facts
    is both shameful and foolish. – Proverbs 18:13 NLT

One of the lessons a fool finds difficult to learn is that his words have consequences. A fool finds it easy to speak his mind but fails to understand that his words can be damaging and deadly. Even the closest friends of a fool will find themselves suffering the withering onslaught of their tempestuous character.

An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city.
    Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars. – Proverbs 18:19 NLT

Because the fool lacks wisdom and discernment, his words can be devastatingly destructive. His impulsive knack for speaking his mind puts his wisdom deficit on full display for all to see. And, in the end, his words take their toll on all those around him.

The tongue can bring death or life;
    those who love to talk will reap the consequences. – Proverbs 18:21 NLT

Yet, Solomon reminds us that the opposite is equally true.

Wise words satisfy like a good meal;
    the right words bring satisfaction. – Proverbs 18:20 NLT

So, why would anyone befriend a fool? What would possess someone to willingly associate with such a self-centered and narcissistic individual? The answer is that fools are typically charismatic and highly influential. They appear successful and popular. The biblical fool is rarely a stumbling, bumbling imbecile who suffers from a low IQ or a learning disability. They are usually intelligent and even highly successful. Their innate talent and persuasive powers can make them wealthy and well-liked. But somewhere along the way, the fool has rejected the idea of God.

The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds; there is none who does good. – Psalm 14:1 ESV

Their foolishness stems from their refusal to fear and reverence God. Because they have determined to reject the reality of God, they are doomed to live their life without His wisdom. The fool is not ignorant but he is unenlightened and spiritually devoid of divine guidance. And that is what makes him such a lousy friend.

A fool is essentially godless and operating under his own power and according to his own fallen nature. Without God, he is destined to make unwise choices, pursue unrighteous ends, and do irreparable damage to all his relationships.

There are “friends” who destroy each other,
    but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24 NLT

Fools are fairweather friends. When the going gets tough, the fool gets going. In times of difficulty, a fool will bail on his friends and go into self-protective mode. But, according to Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Godly friends make great companions. When things heat up, they show up. In times of adversity, they prove the depth of their love by displaying their unfailing commitment to the relationship. Godly friends are faithful friends. They tend to mirror the character of God Himself. Wise friends have learned to trust in God. Through their own life experience, they have proven the faithfulness and reliability of God.

The name of the Lord is a strong fortress;
    the godly run to him and are safe. – Proverbs 18:10 NLT

In times of difficulty, a fool will place all his trust in his wealth and resources. He will make a god out of his

The rich think of their wealth as a strong defense;
    they imagine it to be a high wall of safety. – Proverbs 18:11 NLT

While a fool will abandon his friends and turn to his own resources for salvation, a wise friend will point the way to God. He knows from experience that God can be trusted even when times are tough. A wise friend encourages faithfulness. He models godliness. He promotes a life of obedience and trust in God. And Solomon goes on to point out that one of the greatest relationships a man can develop is that of a godly wife.

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,
    and he receives favor from the Lord. – Proverbs 18:22 NLT

A godly mate is one of the greatest gifts that God can bestow on a man.

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life. – Proverbs 31:10-12 NLT

And a woman who finds a godly husband has received one of the most precious rewards that God can give. A godly marriage is only possible through the grace and mercy of God. He alone has the ability to perform math that can make two into one.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 ESV

Two godly and wisdom-endowed individuals joined together by God in a permanent relationship that brings Him glory and honor. Two friends for life, blessed by their Creator with all that they need for living the godly life together. That is the essence of friendship on God’s terms. As Solomon would later record in the book of Ecclesiastes:

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. – Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT

Wise friends make great companions. But fools tend to make a fool out of everyone.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Crushed In Spirit.

Proverbs 18

“The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear a crushed spirit?” – Proverbs 18:14 NLT

We've all been amazed to watch other individuals endure unimaginable pain and suffering as a result of a debilitating disease or injury. We've observed them as they somehow managed to smile and maintain their composure even as they were going through seemingly unendurable tragedy. We wondered how they could do it. We questioned where they got the strength to go through so much and not give in to defeat. This verse tells us that the human spirit is a powerful resource in times of pain. It is life-sustaining and energy-giving, providing much-needed stamina and stability even in the face of what appears to be insurmountable circumstances. The very word "spirit" in the Hebrew language means "life or breath." It is the essence of who we are as human beings. At creation, God "breathed" into man his life or spirit. It is God-given and therefore powerful. Our spirit is the very thing that sustains us through all of life.

But what happens when our spirit gets crushed? What do we do when the very thing that sustains us becomes broken and incapable of enduring? It can and does happen, and when it does, we find ourselves in a dangerous place, completely susceptible to the attacks of the enemy and open to his lies: "You are not loved!" "Nobody cares about you!" "Life is not worth living!" "God has abandoned you!" "Things are just going to get worse!" "Just give up!"

It is at those times that we must recognize that our spirits, because they are God-given, must also be God-sustained. We must look to Him for help and healing. As we read in Proverbs 17:22, "a broken spirit saps a person’s strength." Without a healthy, whole spirit, we begin to find that our entire life, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, begins to suffer. We can easily lose our determination to endure, and ultimately, our will to live. In the Old Testament story of Job, he found himself in a place where he had lost everything – his health, his wealth and all of his children. But he somehow was able to endure, because his spirit sustained him. He was able to look at his dire circumstances and see God in the middle of them. He told his wife, "Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" (Job 2:10 NLT). But there came a time, thanks to the incessant "counsel" of his friends, that Job began to lose heart. His spirit was slowly crushed under the staggering weight of their accusations of guilt. He began to lose hope and the will to live. He took his eyes off of the goodness of God and his spirit began to shrivel up inside of him.

It's interesting that in His Sermon on the Mount, the very first thing Jesus said was, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3 NIV). The poor in spirit are those who recognize the deficiencies of their hearts and turn to God for help. God came to heal our spirits and restore our souls. Without Him and without the death of Christ on the cross, our spirits were crushed, lifeless and incapable of sustaining us. But the kingdom of God was designed for just such people. The death of Christ was intended to deliver those whose spirits were crushed and dead. And He still gives life to our spirits today. When we feel down, defeated, and disheartened because of the events of life, we can turn to Him. God, who breathed life in us at creation, can breathe life into us spiritually. He can and will restore and revive us. Like Job, we will be able to say, "I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes" (Job 42:5 NLT). We will experience the life-giving, spirit-sustaining power of God first-hand and be able to say, "I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you" (Job 42:2 NLT).

Father, I find myself in a place where my spirit is crushed and broken. There is a sadness that threatens to overwhelm me, but I know I can come to you in my brokenness and receive hope and healing. You are my sustainer and strength. Help me keep my eyes focused on you and not my circumstances. Replace my sadness with joy and my despair with delight. Amen.

Heart Smart.

Proverbs 18

“An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.” – Proverbs 18:15 ESV

We've all heard of hearth healthy living, but what about heart smart? The Book of Proverbs puts a lot of emphasis on the heart. In fact, in chapter four we're warned, "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life" (Proverbs 4:23 NLT). In the Hebrew way of thinking, the heart is the central part of our very being. It is the core of our existence. It refers to our inner man, and includes our mind, will, heart, and understanding. It encompasses our moral character and is the seat of our appetites, emotions and passions. So the heart is a huge part of who we are. Which is why Solomon warns us to guard it. And the prophet Jeremiah warns us that "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" (Jeremiah 17:9 NLT) That word, "deceitful" can mean twisted, sly, slippery and insidious. It is NOT to be trusted. Left to its own devices, the human heart is a dangerous thing. Unless it has been "educated" by God. Which is why Solomon also encourages us to make the acquisition of God's wisdom our highest priority. We're to search for it like silver. We're to cry out for it, tune our ears to it, and concentrate on getting it. But when we get the wisdom of God, He doesn't place it in our heads. No, God puts it in our hearts – in our inner man. "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy, wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe" (Proverbs 2:10-11 NLT). God places His wisdom inside us. He makes our deceitful hearts trustworthy and true. He equips us with the tools we need to make wise choices, to "understand what is right, just and fair" (Proverbs 2:9 NLT). We "will find the right way to go" (Proverbs 2:9b NLT). God makes our hearts wise. And wise hearts are extremely beneficial and helpful. "The wise in heart accept commands" (Proverbs 10:8a NIV). "The one who is wise in heart is called discerning" (Proverbs 16:21a NIV). A child with a wise heart will cause his parents to rejoice (Proverbs 23:15). A heart with a high God-IQ will guard us, guide us, and has the capacity to save us from making wrong choices and will keep us on the path that God has for us. And when we're heart smart, we're always willing to learn. We crave knowledge about who God is and who we are. We love to learn about our faults and gain insights into our deficiencies. Knowledge of our sins allows us to acknowledge them to God. We're able to stay confessed up and enjoy complete forgiveness from God. The smart heart is a listening, learning heart. It depends on God as its source of wisdom, and relies on Him to equip us with knowledge and understanding of His ways. We gain common sense and learn how to apply the truth of God to the realities of life. The smart heart is malleable and in a constant state of transformation at the hands of God.

In Proverbs, wise people guard their hearts, not only keeping harmful influences out but, more important, by putting wise teaching in and keeping them there. – Paul E. Koptak, The NIV Application Commentary, Proverbs

He that has true wisdom in the inward part; who knows his heart and the haughtiness of it; who has the fear of God in it, which is the beginning of wisdom; who is wise unto salvation…who has not head knowledge and wisdom only, but heart knowledge and wisdom, and behave wisely in his life and conversation,…such a man is called, reckoned, accounted, and spoken well of, as a prudent man among all wise and knowing persons. – Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible

Father, I want to be wise of heart, not just wise of head. I want Your wisdom to permeate my entire being so that I live according to Your standards and in keeping with Your will at all times. I want to be educated of heart so that I know what is right, just and fair; and inherently know the right way to go. Amen.

Where To Run.

Proverbs 18

“The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe.” – Proverbs 18:10 NLT

Think about it. Where do you run when things get tough? Who do you turn to when facing difficult circumstances? In what or who do you put your trust or place your hope? Solomon says that the godly run to the Lord and are kept safe. But if we're honest, most of us have a long list of other options we consider before we go to God. We have our money, friends, family members, the government, and our own resourcefulness to bail us out in time of need. But again, Solomon reminds us that "the name of the Lord is a strong fortress" (Proverbs 18:10 NLT). Isn't it interesting that he refers to the name of the Lord. That is a common expression in the Old Testament and it speaks of God's reputation or fame. It refers to those things He has done that have established who He is. It is another way of expressing His character. God has made a name for Himself. He has a solid reputation. He is known by His actions. And in this context, God has proven Himself to be a safe place to turn to for protection. He is faithful, powerful, gracious, consistent, and never fails in providing the protection we need and seek.

God's reputation is impeccable and totally reliable. So the godly "run to him." They don't casually walk or stroll to God, they run. There is a sense of urgency and immediacy to this statement. There is no hesitation. He isn't a second or third option or a last resort. God is the first choice of the godly person. It reminds me of the response of my children when they were young and found themselves scared or in trouble. They would make a bee-line to dear old dad. No hesitation. No reservations. When in trouble or fearful, dad's arms were where they wanted to be. And the same thing should be true of us as believers. We should want to run to God, whole-heartedly, unashamedly, unwaveringly – because He has proven Himself trustworthy time and time again.

But as our kids grow older, they grow less willing to turn to dad when scared or in trouble. They have been trained to be self-sufficient. They learn to develop other options and plans for maintaining their safety. They develop other resources to keep them safe and secure. Dad becomes less necessary, and the thought of jumping into his arms for safety becomes slightly embarrassing. And we do the same thing with God. Over time, before we even know it, we have moved God way down the list in terms of where we turn in times of trouble. We even do our best to develop plans to stay out of trouble so we don't have to turn to God in the first place. It's interesting that the very next verse in Proverbs 18 says, "The rich think of their wealth as a strong defense; they imagine it to be a high wall of safety" (Proverbs 18:11 NLT). Plenty of people try to create their own safety net for life, and in our society, financial stability is seen as a high priority. Think of all the commercials you see that deal with money, savings, retirement planning and financial security. Money has become the new Messiah. It is the answer to all of life's problems, in spite of its lousy reputation for actually being able to deliver any real security or safety. There's nothing wrong with money, saving, planning, or preparing for the future financially. But when all is said and done, there is only one reliable place to turn for protection: The name of the Lord. His reputation is spotless.

Father, Your name or reputation is impeccable. You are completely trustworthy. You aren't just LIKE a strong fortress, You truly ARE one. You have proven Yourself to be a secure choice in the midst of life's difficulties time and time again. But I still look elsewhere so often. Forgive me. Help me understand that You are always the safest, most secure place to turn in times of trouble. Amen.