Me-Centered Praying.

Why are you treating me, your servant, so harshly? Have mercy on me! What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people? Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world? Why did you tell me to carry them in my arms like a mother carries a nursing baby? How can I carry them to the land you swore to give their ancestors? Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep whining to me, saying, “Give us meat to eat!” I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy! If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery! – Numbers 11:11-15 NLT To be honest, things had not been going very well for Moses. Just recently, the people had been complaining about how difficult things were for them. As a result, God had sent a raging fire to consume them. This had gotten their attention and had led them to cry out to Moses. His pray on their behalf had stayed the hand of God. Then, not long after this incident, the people began to complain about the manna that God had provided for them to eat. They were sick of it and began to reminisce about how well things had been back in Egypt. “We remember the fish we used to eat for free in Egypt. And we had all the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic we wanted. But now our appetites are gone. All we ever see is this manna!” (Numbers 11:5-6 NLT). Of course, Moses took the brunt of their complaints because he was their leader. But this complaining was heard by God and He became angry yet again. And this time, Moses shared his anger. He took it personally. Just look at all the personal pronouns he uses in his prayer: Me, myself, I – over and over again. The entire prayer is about himself. He was fed up and worn out. It had been over two years since they had left Egypt and, from Moses' perspective, it had been filled with days just like this one. He told God he would rather die than put up with another day of this nonsense.

I appreciate Moses' honesty. This is a man who knew from first-hand experience just how angry God could become when faced with disobedience. Yet he felt somehow safe sharing his anger and frustration with God. From the day God had called him at the burning bush, Moses had grown accustomed to dialoguing with God. He had spent days on the mountain getting the law directly from the mouth of God. He had had countless conversations with God over the years. But at this particular moment, Moses let his frustration be known. He was tired, physically and emotionally. Leading a group of well over 1 million people through the wilderness was anything but easy. That they were doing it reluctantly and unwillingly much of the time made it even more difficult. But the danger of praying during these moments of extreme fatigue is that we can lose sight of the bigger picture. We can suddenly find ourselves making the plan of God all about us. Not once in his prayer does Moses pray for the people of God. He does not intercede on their behalf, even though he knew full well what God would do when He heard their complaints. No, rather than intercede, Moses turns inward. He becomes focused on self. And he begins to question God's integrity and intentions. He asks, “Why are you treating me so harshly?” He wants to know what he did to deserve this burden? He sarcastically comments, “Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world?” He lets God know that this task is too much for him. He can't do it. In fact, he tells God that if this is the way He is going to treat him, God might as well just go ahead and kill him now.

This prayer is driven by disappointment and discouragement, but borders dangerously on disrespect. Moses is walking a fine line between being real and rebellious with God. It is one thing to share your fear and frustration with God. It is another to question His motives or doubt His integrity. But it's interesting to note that God did not reprimand Moses. He didn't punish him for his insolent behavior. Instead, God gave Moses some instructions. “Gather before me seventy men who are recognized as elders and leaders of Israel. Bring them to the Tabernacle to stand there with you. I will come down and talk to you there. I will take some of the Spirit that is upon you, and I will put the Spirit upon them also. They will bear the burden of the people along with you, so you will not have to carry it alone” (Numbers 11:16-17 NLT). It seems that God saw Moses' heart and knew that his diatribe had been motivated by exhaustion and extreme fatigue. What Moses needed was help, not punishment. But God's solution was not based on Moses' needs alone. His concern was for the well-being of the entire tribe of Israel. He was providing a means by which the people could be led without the leadership being worn out in the process. God was going to take care of Moses, but not at the sacrifice of the well being of the people. God had a greater agenda. He had a bigger plan in mind. So it is important that we recognize that me-centered prayers are not necessarily wrong, but we must remember that God's answer will be much more global in nature. His Kingdom does not revolve around us. His plans include far more than our personal happiness or comfort. Usually, when the words me or I show up in our prayers, it is a sign that God has taken a back seat in our lives. We have made life all about ourselves rather than about Him. But mercifully and lovingly, God will bring our thoughts back into perspective.

Dull of Heart and Hard of Hearing.

Judges 21, Acts 28

For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed; lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them. – Acts 28:27 ESV

These two books each end with rather sad portrayals of the spiritual state of the people of Israel. In the book of Judges, we see a people who attempt to correct a previous wrong by committing additional injustices while justifying their actions with pious sounding oaths. All the events of Judges 21 take place as a result of the rape of the Levite's concubine by the men of Gibeah, a Benjamite city. Their immoral action resulted in a civil war and the near annihilation of the male population of the tribe of Benjamin by the rest of the tribes of Israel. Over 25,000 Benjamites were killed, leaving only 600 men alive. Their cities were burned and their women and children were executed as well. All because of the sinful actions of a few and the stubborn refusal of the people of Benjamin to give up those who were guilty of the original sin. But after Israel had nearly wiped out their fellow tribe, they had regrets. They realized that their actions had left the Benjamites on the edge of extinction, and they had sworn an oath not to give their daughers in marriage to the Benjamites. This decision would effectively result in the eventual loss of the entire tribe of Benjamin. Not hearing from God, they came up with their own plan, and it would prove worse than the original sin of the men of Gibeah. The key to understanding the faulty nature of their plan can be seen in two simple phrases. The first is found in verse 7: “What shall we do?” The second is recorded in verse 11: “This is what we shall do.” The plan they came up with was their own, not God's. They came up with a loop-hole that would allow them to solve their problem in a seemingly righteous way. Since the men of Jabesh-gilead had not shown up when a call went out to all the tribes to gather (Judges 20:1), they decided to punish them by attacking them and taking any of the virgins of the town as wives for the men of Benjamin. Their slaughter of the people of Jabesh-gilead resulted in only 400 potential wives for the men of Benjamin. They were 200 short. So they then encouraged the men of Benjamin to kidnap an additional 200 women from the city of Shiloh. In effect, the rape of one woman resulted in the forcible kidnapping and rape of 600 women.

What does this passage reveal about God?

Nowhere in this passage do we hear the voice of God or witness the approval of their actions. The sins of the people of Israel have increased to such a degree that they have resorted to the killing, kidnapping, and raping of fellow members of their own nation. They justified their actions. They tried to fix their own sins and only created worse problems than when they began. God seems to be silent throughout this entire ordeal. And the chapter ends with the sad and familiar refrain, “In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in their own eyes” (Judges 21:25 ESV). God was not the King of Israel. At least not according to the way the people of Israel treated Him. They did what they wanted to do. They came up with their own solutions to their own problems. God was there, but they treated Him as if He didn't even exist. Yes, the turned to Him when they found themselves in trouble, but when He appeared to be silent, they took matters into their own hands. And God allowed them to do so. He didn't approve of their actions, but He also didn't intervene. Sometimes God allows us to do whatever it is we want to do. He gives us the freedom to act on our own sinful desires and experience the consequences of those actions.

What does this passage reveal about man?

The people of Israel didn't change much over the years. As we shall see, their stubbornness and sinfulness never abated, even after God allowed them to have a king of their own. Their problem was not the lack of a king, but their own refusal to acknowledge God as King. Over in the book of Acts, we have recorded Paul's arrival in Rome for his trial before Caesar. One of the first things he did was call the local Jewish population together to explain what is going on. He wanted to hear from himself before they got swayed by any of his accusers who would surely be arriving any day from Jerusalem to bring charges against him at his trial. Paul finds his Jewish audience seemingly receptive and willing to hear from him. They knew nothing about the events surrounding his arrest in Caesarea but told him, “We desire to hear from you what your views are, for with regard to this sect we know that everywhere it is spoken against” (Acts 28:22 ESV). “From morning till evening he expounded to them, testifying to the kingdom of God and trying to convince them about Jesus both from the Law of Moses and from the Prophets. And some were convinced by what he said, but others disbelieved” (Acts 28:23-24 ESV).

Paul's assessment of the Jews is clear. It reflects an understanding of the nature of their hearts. They were willing to hear, but unwilling to really listen. Quoting from the Old Testament prophet, Isaiah, Paul told them, “this people's heart has become dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed; lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them” (Acts 28:27 ESV). Like their ancestors, the Jews of Paul's day had become calloused and cold toward God. They were religious. They were outwardly pious. But they had long since stopped hearing from God. They couldn't see the hand of God operating within their own midst. And as a result, they were incapable of turning back to God. So Paul gives them the sad news that from that point forward “this salvation of God has been sent to the Gentiles; they will listen” (Acts 28:28 ESV).

How would I apply what I’ve read to my own life?

They will listen. Listening was directly tied to turning. Hearing what Paul had to say and what God was offering was not enough. The Jews in Paul's audience heard him clearly, but refused to listen and act on what they had heard. The refused to turn. But the Gentiles would hear, listen, and turn. They would repent. They would see their need for a Savior and accept the offer of forgiveness of sins and salvation through Christ. Even as a believer I still have the need to not only hear from God, but listen and obey. I must see what He is doing and not become blind to His actions in and around my life. This passage conveys a sensitivity to God's presence and voice. I must see Him and hear Him. I have to listen to what He is saying to me each and every day of my life. Otherwise, I run the risk of becoming like the Israelites: Dull of heart and hard of hearing.

Father, give me an ever-increasing ability to see You and hear You, but also to listen to and obey You, so that I don't become dull of heart and hard of hearing. Amen

Our Unfathomable, Yet Reliable God.

Romans 11:25-36

Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways! – Romans 11:33 NLT

Who are we to question the ways of God? I find it fascinating how often we, as mere men, want to take on God, putting Him on trial – trying to determine whether we agree with or approve of His ways. We debate whether God could or would do something. We argue over whether God has the right to act in a certain way, because it offends our sensibilities or our understanding of right and wrong. But when we doubt God or try to judge Him based on our limited human understanding, we reveal just how little we really know Him. It shows how we have tried to put God in a box in an effort to make Him more comprehensible and believable. But Paul would argue that His God is greater than our capacity to understand. "How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!" (Romans 11:33b NLT). Paul knew enough about God to know better than to try and explain away His actions or question His logic. God does not have to answer to us or even explain Himself to us.

As Paul wraps up his discussion regarding God's plans for the people of Israel, he wants his readers to understand that God is not obligated to do things in a way that we can understand. He does not have to appeal to our sense of fairness. God is holy, righteous, and completely sovereign. He can and will do what He wants to do, and whatever He does is always right. His treatment of the people of Israel, while it may appear harsh in our eyes, is completely just and wholly necessary. God had a plan in place that included their rejection of His own Son as their Messiah. He was not caught off guard or surprised by their actions. He knew they would refuse to accept Him as the Anointed One. God was prepared for their actions and had planned for them in advance. It was all part of His divine will. Their rejection opened up the door for the spread of the Gospel to the Gentiles. But God is not done with the people of Israel. There is a day coming when "the full number of Gentiles comes to Christ" (Romans 11:25b NLT). In other words, there is an apparent limit on the number of people who will accept Christ as their personal Savior. Not ALL will be saved. And only God knows that number. That may sound unfair and capricious to us, but again, who are we to question the justice of God? When that full number is reached, then God will turn His attention back to the people of Israel. He will once again show His favor on them, sending His Son a second time, to restore a large number of the nation of Israel back to a right relationship with Him. "The one who rescues will come from Jerusalem, and he will turn Israel away from ungodliness. And this is my covenant with them, that I will take away their sins" (Romans 11:26-27 NLT). At the second coming of Jesus, God will do what the Israelites could have never have done for themselves – He will change their hardened hearts and give them the capacity to believe in His Son as their Messiah and Savior. Why? Because God is a covenant keeping God. "Yet they are still the people he loves because he chose their ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. For God's gifts and his call can never be withdrawn" (Romans 11:28-29 NLT).

We may not understand it or even agree with it, but God's plan is just, righteous, and completely perfect. God does not need or want our advice. He does not require our approval. He does not owe us an explanation. We can't even fully understand why He chose to save us. But we are grateful that He did. Paul would encourage us to rest in the knowledge of God's unchanging, holy and righteous character. He can be trusted. He always does what is right. "For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever!" (Romans 11:36 NLT).

Father, I don't understand Your ways, but I am learning to trust them more and more with each passing day. I can't fully explain how and why You do things the way You do, but I am trying to rest more and more in Your faithfulness. There are things that happen in my life every day that cause me to doubt and question Your ways, but I am learning to rest in Your sovereign, loving, all-knowing plan for me. You know what is best, whether it looks like it or feels like it at the time. I can trust You. Amen.