Turning Homes Into Lighthouses

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV

Next, Peter turns his attention to the parent-child relationship, where the filling of the Spirit could help the believers in Ephesus to dispel the darkness engulfing their community. A home where godly parents and children lived in submission to the will of God would be a beacon of light and life to the lost. Their Spirit-empowered interactions with one another would bring glory and honor to God as they lived in keeping with His good and perfect will.

Paul begins by addressing the children within the Ephesian church. He calls on them to obey their parents “in the Lord” (en kyrios). In his earlier passage addressed to believing wives, he called on them to submit to their believing husbands “as unto the Lord” (hōs ho kyrios). The idea is the same here. Paul is calling on children to obey “in the Lord.” The obedience of the children was not to be dependent upon the belief of their parents, but they were to obey because it was the will of God. Paul was essentially telling young children who came to faith in Christ, “you need to understand what the Lord wants you to do” (Ephesians 5:17). Regardless of age, every member of the body of Christ was to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21 ESV).

It would seem that Paul has believing children in mind because he calls them to obey “in the Lord.” He seems to assume that these children are old enough to understand their Christ-honoring commitment to submit to their parents in the same way they would submit to Christ Himself. And Paul quotes from the Hebrew Scriptures to drive home his point. 

Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. – Deuteronomy 5:16 NLT

In this passage, Moses is reciting the Ten Commandments to the people of Israel, and this verse, he shares God’s command that His people show proper honor and respect to their earthly parents. This commandment was applicable to children of all ages, including those who had reached adulthood. In a society that had no welfare system, it was the responsibility of adult children to take care of their elderly parents. God was ordering His covenant people to treat their loved ones with dignity and respect, and He tied future fruitfulness to present faithfulness. If they continued to treat their parents with honor all the days of their lives, then they would enjoy a long and fruitful stay in the land of promise. This is why Peter refers to this as a “commandment with a promise” (Ephesians 6:2 ESV). As long as the people obeyed it, they would enjoy the blessings of God. Faithfulness to do the will of God would be accompanied by fruitfulness.

It’s interesting to note that, in his second letter to Timothy, Paul included disoBelibedience to parents among the list of godless characteristics that will mark the end of the age.

…in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that! – 2 Timothy 3:1-5 NLT

It seems that Paul is describing people who are old enough to know what they are doing. Their behavior reflects the status of their hearts. Their outer actions are simply byproducts of their inner condition. Jesus made this point quite clear when He stated, “the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. These are what defile you” (Matthew 15:18-20 NLT).

Paul doesn’t seem to be focusing his attention on small children. They were not the problem. It was those children who were old enough to come to faith in Christ but also old enough to be tempted by the inevitable allure of autonomy and freedom from their parents’ control over their lives. He is calling them to remember their commitment to do that which is pleasing to God. They were to emulate Christ, who willingly submitted Himself to do His Father’s will.

“For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.” – John 6:38 ESV

“I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.” – John 5:30 ESV

Paul states that children who obey their parents are doing what is right. The Greek word is dikaios, and it means “that which is righteous, in keeping with the commands of God” (Outline of Biblical Usage). To obey earthly parents is righteous because it is in keeping with our Heavenly Father’s will. It is what He desires, therefore, it is right and good.

This command is intended to last a lifetime. It doesn’t end at the age of 18 or whenever the child moves out of the home. No, it lasts as long as the parents remain alive. And in a culture where the family unit tended to stay intact for much longer periods of time, this command carried special significance. It was not uncommon for young married couples to take up residence in the home of the husband’s parents. Multiple generations would end up residing under the same roof, making obedience to this command more essential than ever. A home where parents, children, and grandchildren lived together was the perfect environment for displaying the Spirit-filled lifestyle to which Paul was calling his audience.

And it was within this kind of familial context that Paul called on fathers to treat their children with love and respect, raising them in accordance with the will of God. And that included “the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4 NLT). Once again, Paul is emphasizing the need for all believers to do things according to God’s will, not their own. And they were not to use the prevailing cultural context as their model for godly behavior. Paul has already warned the Ephesian believers not to pattern their behavior after the world.

Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. – Ephesians 5:7-9 NLT

Instead, they were to “carefully determine what pleases the Lord” (Ephesians 5:10 NLT). And for fathers, that meant leading their children in such a way that it produced godliness rather than bitterness. Paul demands that father’s not “provoke” or exasperate their children. Believing fathers were to submit themselves to the will of God and minister to their wives and children in a loving and self-sacrificing manner. Their God-ordained role as the heads of their households didn’t give them the right to lord over those under their care. They were to be servants and shepherds. They to were to model Christ-likeness as they provided instruction in godliness.

God holds Christian fathers responsible for the care of His flock. A godly father is to recognize that his children are gifts from God.

Children are a gift from the Lord;
    they are a reward from him. – Psalm 127:3 NLT

And because God has assigned believing fathers with the role of shepherding His young lambs, He will hold them responsible if they fail to care for them well. The warning that God applied to the spiritual shepherds of Israel can be applied to those Christian fathers who abdicate their God-given responsibility to shepherd their children as God has commanded.

“What sorrow awaits you shepherds who feed yourselves instead of your flocks. Shouldn’t shepherds feed their sheep? You drink the milk, wear the wool, and butcher the best animals, but you let your flocks starve. You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty. So my sheep have been scattered without a shepherd, and they are easy prey for any wild animal. They have wandered through all the mountains and all the hills, across the face of the earth, yet no one has gone to search for them.” – Ezekiel 34:2-6 NLT

And God went on to describe what He would do to those shepherds who failed to carry out their God-ordained role.

“I now consider these shepherds my enemies, and I will hold them responsible for what has happened to my flock. I will take away their right to feed the flock, and I will stop them from feeding themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths; the sheep will no longer be their prey.” – Ezekiel 34:10 NLT

In a similar way, Paul is pleading with the fathers within the church at Ephesus to step up and do what they have been called to do. They were to model the self-sacrificing love of Christ. They were to teach their children to honor God by demonstrating it through their own lives. Their homes were to be lighthouses, illuminating the darkness of Ephesus with the glory of God’s grace and the life-changing power of His Spirit.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

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Lights In The Darkness.

1 Chronicles 9-10, Philippians 2

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life. – Philippians 2:14-16 ESV

Over in 1 Chronicles, we read these sobering words:

“And Judah was taken into exile in Babylon because of their breach of faith.” – 1 Chronicles 9:1 ESV

“So Saul died for his breach of faith. He broke faith with the Lord in that he did not keep the command of the Lord, and also consulted a medium, seeking guidance. He did not seek guidance from the Lord.” – 1 Chronicles 10:13-14 ESV

The nation of Judah broke faith with God and ended up a broken people living in exile in a foreign land. King Saul broke faith with God and not only lost a battle, but his son, Jonathan. Defeated and alone, the great king would end up taking his own life in a final act of faithlessness and desperation. He had abandoned God, not the other way around.

Broken faith always has its consequences. This wasn't just a case of a lack of faith. If we're not careful, we could easily conclude that Judah and Saul just couldn't muster up enough faith to trust God. But theirs was a sin of commission. It was more a case of what they had done, not what they had lacked. The nation of Judah had ended up in exile because they had committed acts of unfaithfulness against God. They had sinned. Unfaithfulness is always a sin. It involves disobedience and infidelity. The chronicler makes it clear, Saul had not kept the Lord's commands. When he needed help and direction, he had turned to a witch rather than God. He did not seek guidance from the Lord, and his choices resulted in the loss of his kingdom and his own life. Saul was one king out of many who failed to live in faithful obedience to God. The entire nation of Judah was marked by infidelity and sin. They had failed to live up to their responsibilities as the children of God.

What does this passage reveal about God?

God was not shocked or surprised by the failure of Judah or the fall of King Saul. He had not been caught off guard by their breach of faith. He had fully expected it and had even warned the people of Judah that their exile was coming. He had already anointed David as the next king and had told Saul, “now your kingdom shall not continue. The LORD has sought out a man after his own heart, and the LORD has commanded him to be prince over his people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you” (1 Samuel 13:14 ESV). Their unfaithfulness had been expected by God. He knew that they would find it impossible to keep His commands. He was fully aware that Saul would prove to the kind of king the people wanted, but not the kind of king God required. He had allowed the people of Israel to have a king of their own choosing, a man who met their own standards. “Now appoint for us a king to judge us like all the nations” (1 Samuel 8:5 ESV). But when Saul had failed, God had a replacement ready to step into the gap, a man after His own heart. And when the nation of Judah found themselves languishing in captivity, God had a plan for their ultimate restoration. He was not done with them yet. After 70 years of exile, He would bring them back to the land and orchestrate the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem, the restoration of the Temple, and the repopulation of the city.

What does this passage reveal about man?

All of the events of the Old Testament point toward a day in man’s faithfulness to God could be not only a possibility, but a reality. They foreshadow the coming of the Son of God, who would make faithfulness achievable by making our sinfulness fully forgivable. God did for us what we could have never done for ourselves. He made our own righteousness a reality by providing it for us through the death of His Son. He made sinlessness possible by providing us with new natures and His Holy Spirit to guide and empower us. God not only made our salvation possible, but He made our sanctification or holiness possible. We don't have to break faith with God. We don't have to live in disobedience. We have the capacity to live differently and distinctively, holy and blameless, all because of what He has done for us through Christ. That is why Paul calls us to exhibit our new lives through changed behavior. He challenges us to “be blameless and innocent, children of God, without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15 ESV). He encourages us to “work out” our salvation with fear and trembling. In other words, we are to love out the reality of our salvation in everyday life. Our changed lives should result in changed behavior. But he reminds us that the power for change has been provided by God “who works in you” (Philippians 2:13 ESV). God has provided the power for us to live like Christ. We don't have to live our lives controlled by rivalry and conceit. Instead, we can live humbly, obediently, and sacrificially, counting others as more significant than ourselves. We can care about others more than we care about ourselves. We can have the same attitude that Christ Himself had, willingly submitting to God's will for our lives and faithfully following His Spirit's leading in our lives. We can be lights in the darkness as long as we hold fast to the word of life. We must remember that the same power that saved us is available to change us.

How would I apply what I’ve read to my own life?

Because of Christ's death on the cross, my sins have been paid for in full. By recognizing my own sinfulness and my incapacity to save myself from the penalty of death, and placing my faith in His sacrifice and payment for my sin, I was given a new nature and a new status as a child of God. I am fully forgiven and stand uncondemned before God. I am righteous before His eyes because He sees me through the blood of His own sinless Son. But I have also been called to live a life that reflects my new nature. I have been given the Holy Spirit to make this new life possible. I have the capacity and power to live differently, like a light shining in the midst of darkness. I am not to rest on my salvation and find comfort in my ultimate guarantee of a place in heaven. I am to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I am to take my position as God's child seriously, and reflect my new nature in all that I do. My old sinful habits and nature are to become increasingly more a thing of the past. I am to put on Christ and reflect His character in my daily life. The more I become like Him, the brighter my light will shine in the darkness. God has redeemed me, not just to some day take me to heaven, but to reflect the character of His Son while I live on this earth.

Father, I want to be a bright light in the midst of the darkness. I want to live faithfully committed to Your Word, submitted to Your Spirit and reflective of the nature of the character of Christ. I want to have His mind. I want to live as He lived. I know that I still have the capacity to break faith with You and fall back into my old sinful nature. But help me to work out my salvation daily, with fear and trembling, never forgetting what Your Son has done for me and what You expect of me. Amen

Bright Lights In the Darkness.

Ephesians 5:1-14

For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. – Ephesians 5:8-9 NLT

The believers in Ephesus were surrounded by darkness. These people had come to faith in Christ and been placed into the family of God, but still found themselves living in a pagan culture where all kinds of ungodly activity and influences surrounded them. While they were now part of the body of Christ, that did not mean that they were free from external pressures or the temptations to go back to their old ways of life. Paul had helped found this church and had spent over three years with the believers there, so he knew their situation well and had a deep concern for their ongoing spiritual well-being. He had seen first-hand the transformation that had taken place in their lives. Once they had been "full of darkness." They had lived like the other Gentiles around them, whose "minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him" (Ephesians 4:16 NLT). Those among whom the Ephesian believers lived, "have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity" (Ephesians 4:19 NLT).

So Paul reminds the members of the church in Ephesus that they have a responsibility to live differently and influentially in the midst of the culture in which they find themselves. They are to live as people of light. Paul loved the imagery of light. So did Jesus. He described Himself by saying, "I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life" (John 8:12 NLT). Paul had written to the believers in Corinth, "For God, who said, 'Let there be light in the darkness,' has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves" (2 Corinthians 4:6-7 NLT). Paul was reminding his readers that they had been radically transformed and enlightened by the very presence of God in the form of the Holy Spirit. And that light within them was to shine from them, impacting and influencing everything and everyone around them. Light shines in the darkness. Light and dark cannot coexist. Darkness is simply the absence of light. So the more brightly the light within them shone out of them, the less darkness would be present in their midst. That's why Paul wrote, "Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and course jokes – these are not for you" (Ephesians 5:3-4 NLT).

Light dispels darkness. It doesn't attempt to cozy up to it and tolerate it. As soon as a light is turned on, the darkness goes away. The same should be true in the life of the believer. The brighter the light of Christ shines in our lives, the more the darkness will recede. The more the light of Christ shines out of our lives, the less influence the darkness around us will have on us. The believers in Ephesus were just as prone as we are to tolerate sin, to excuse it and justify it. There will always be those who try to excuse sin and find a way to make it acceptable. But Paul warns, "Don't be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him" (Ephesians 5:6 NLT). Tolerance and compromise have no place in the life of the believer. We are not to take part in the things that are done in darkness. "For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light!" (Ephesians 5:8 NLT). Light refuses to tolerate darkness. Instead, it exposes and expels it. Paul starts out this chapter by saying, "Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children" (Ephesians 5:1 NLT). That's quite a challenge. But it is simply a reminder that we are no longer of this world. We have a new family and a new Father. We have been adopted and placed into a new home with a new set of standards. We should live in such a way that our actions please our heavenly Father. Rather than take part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness, we should expose them. We shouldn't even talk about them. Paul writes, "It is shameful to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible" (Ephesians 5:12-13 NLT). That light resides in believers, so our very presence in the world should expose the darkness around us. Our existence on this planet should make everything visible, providing a stark contrast between what is pleasing to God and what is acceptable in this world. We are lights, but we need to shine. "No one lights a lamp and then hides it or puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where its light can be seen by all who enter the house" (Luke 11:33 NLT).

Father, may the light of Christ shine out of us, not just inside us. May we learn to live as lights in the darkness, exposing sin and expressing the love of Christ for those whose lives have been dominated by darkness for far too long. Our lives are to be different and distinct. We have the Light of the world inside us, now help us to let it shine through us. Amen.