Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

15 The rod and reproof give wisdom,
but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
16 When the wicked increase, transgression increases,
but the righteous will look upon their downfall.
17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest;
he will give delight to your heart.
18 Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint,
but blessed is he who keeps the law.
19 By mere words a servant is not disciplined,
for though he understands, he will not respond.
20 Do you see a man who is hasty in his words?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
21 Whoever pampers his servant from childhood
will in the end find him his heir.
22 A man of wrath stirs up strife,
and one given to anger causes much transgression.
23 One’s pride will bring him low,
but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.
24 The partner of a thief hates his own life;
he hears the curse, but discloses nothing.
25 The fear of man lays a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.
26 Many seek the face of a ruler,
but it is from the Lord that a man gets justice.
27 An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous,
but one whose way is straight is an abomination to the wicked. – Proverbs 29:15-27 ESV

The life of wisdom begins in childhood. Children are natural-born fools. They come out of the womb with a predisposition for foolishness because they are born with a sinful nature, a sad but all-too-real byproduct of the fall. Many of the proverbs of Solomon are based on the premise that “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child” (Proverbs 22:15 BSB). That’s why there are numerous proverbs dedicated to the training and discipline of children.

Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.– Proverbs 22:6 ESV

Training includes exposing the child to the ways of God and encouraging him to follow the path of the righteous. But when the child fails to obey, loving discipline is required. The child must learn that disobedience comes with serious and sometimes painful consequences. Here in Proverbs 29, we find yet another wise saying that encourages the practice of loving correction so that the child will increase in wisdom rather than foolishness.

To discipline a child produces wisdom,
but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.– Proverbs 29:15 NLT

But the biblical concept of discipline also includes the occasional use of corporal punishment. There will come times when a child needs to experience the painful consequences of his refusal to obey. While a “time out” may be appropriate for a very young child, that kind of behavioral correction will diminish in its effectiveness as the child matures. That’s why the Proverbs encourage a brand of discipline that includes the use of some form of physical punishment.

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.
Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.– Proverbs 13:24 NLT

Some people believe in discipline, but not in physical discipline such as spanking. However, the Bible is the final word on what is truth; it is not mere opinion or theory. The word rod indicates a thin stick or switch that can be used to give a small amount of physical pain with no lasting physical injury. A child should never be bruised, injured, or cut by a physical correction. – What does it mean to “spare the rod and spoil the child?”, www.gotquestions.org

Our modern culture tends to reject the concept of physical discipline, having deemed it as antiquated and a rather barbaric form of punishment. Instead, parents are encouraged to see the use of reason and logic as a more enlightened means of correction. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with appealing to a child’s intellect, it fails to adequately teach the painful consequences of sinful behavior. That is why the Proverbs are filled with repeated admonitions to not “spare the rod.”

Don’t fail to discipline your children.
    The rod of punishment won’t kill them.
Physical discipline
    may well save them from death. – Proverbs 23:13-14 NLT

And Solomon understood that the concept of loving discipline was not a man-made invention, but the will of God. It was in keeping with the way God disciplines those whom He loves.

My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline,
    and don’t be upset when he corrects you.
For the Lord corrects those he loves,
    just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. – Proverbs 3:11-12 NLT

It is likely that Solomon knew the story of his own birth and its close association with the sin of his own father. David had committed an egregious sin by committing adultery with the wife of one of his own soldiers. Having discovered that his one-night stand had resulted in an unwanted pregnancy, David tried to cover up his sin by ordering the woman’s husband back from the battlefield. His plan was for Uriah to be reunited with his wife so that there might be another explanation for her unexpected pregnancy. but Uriah refused to enjoy the pleasures of his wife’s company while his fellow soldiers suffered on the battlefield. So, David ordered that Uriah be sent back to the front lines and exposed to enemy fire. In other words, David ordered Uriah’s murder.

Upon news of Uriah’s death, David took Bathsheba to be his wife. But the story doesn’t end there. God was displeased with David’s actions. And while Bathsheba eventually gave birth to the son she had conceived with David, God would not allow David to enjoy the “fruit” of his sin. Nathan the prophet delivered the painful news that David’s sin would have devastating consequences.

“…the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the Lord by doing this, your child will die.” – 2 Samuel 12:13-14 NLT

David mourned the loss of his child, but God eventually blessed him with another son.

Then David comforted Bathsheba, his wife, and slept with her. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son, and David named him Solomon. The Lord loved the child and sent word through Nathan the prophet that they should name him Jedidiah (which means “beloved of the Lord”), as the Lord had commanded. – 2 Samuel 12:24-25 NLT

Solomon was the byproduct of God’s discipline of David. He was literally “beloved of the Lord” but he understood that his very existence was due to the loving discipline of God. Solomon’s father had committed a terrible sin against God and had paid the price. That’s why Solomon so strongly encouraged the practice of godly, loving discipline.

Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind
and will make your heart glad.– Proverbs 29:17 NLT

Solomon understood that instruction alone was not enough. To simply teach someone the ways of God was no guarantee that they would walk in them. Successful communication of the rules will not assure compliance because people have to make the choice to obey.

When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild.
    But whoever obeys the law is joyful. – Proverbs 29:18 NLT

That’s why physical discipline is required. Not everyone obeys. Not everyone willingly adheres to the rules. But if disobedience brings attention-getting and sometimes painful consequences, there is a higher likelihood that the sin will not be repeated a second time. As the proverb states, “Words alone will not discipline a servant; the words may be understood, but they are not heeded” (Proverbs 29:19 NLT).

Wisdom reveals that the coddling of a child or a servant will not end well. It will not produce the outcome you desire.

A servant pampered from childhood
    will become a rebel. – Proverbs 29:21 NLT

Those who go through life without the threat of discipline never learn the consequences of their sin. They become prideful and arrogant. They display disdain for rules of any kind. They become a disgrace to their parents and a blight on the community. The undisciplined end up becoming increasingly ungodly because they have never learned to fear God. Because their unrighteous behavior has gone unpunished, they never learn to fear the righteous wrath of God.

There is no guarantee that the godly discipline of your children will turn them into godly and God-fearing adults. But no discipline at all will almost always assure that your adult child will be characterized more by foolishness than wisdom.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Abuse of Authority

1 He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck,
    will suddenly be broken beyond healing.
2 When the righteous increase, the people rejoice,
    but when the wicked rule, the people groan.
3 He who loves wisdom makes his father glad,
    but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth.
4 By justice a king builds up the land,
    but he who exacts gifts tears it down.
5 A man who flatters his neighbor
    spreads a net for his feet.
6 An evil man is ensnared in his transgression,
    but a righteous man sings and rejoices.
7 A righteous man knows the rights of the poor;
    a wicked man does not understand such knowledge.
8 Scoffers set a city aflame,
    but the wise turn away wrath.
9 If a wise man has an argument with a fool,
    the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.
10 Bloodthirsty men hate one who is blameless
    and seek the life of the upright.
11 A fool gives full vent to his spirit,
    but a wise man quietly holds it back.
12 If a ruler listens to falsehood,
    all his officials will be wicked.
13 The poor man and the oppressor meet together;
    the Lord gives light to the eyes of both.
14 If a king faithfully judges the poor,
    his throne will be established forever. – Proverbs 29:1-14 ESV

This chapter continues the collection of wise sayings compiled by the officials of King Hezekiah (Proverbs 25:1). We know from 1 Kings 4:32, that Solomon “composed some 3,000 proverbs and wrote 1,005 songs.” Hezekiah’s royal scholars were assigned the task of finding additional proverbs written or edited by Solomon so that they might be added to the original collection. And while there appears to be no clear categorization of these supplemental proverbs, there does appear to be an underlying theme. Since the men who gathered and curated them were working for the king, the proverbs they chose to add have a distinct leadership tone to them.

They reflect an emphasis on the need for godly wisdom at the highest levels of administrative power.

When the godly are in authority, the people rejoice.
    But when the wicked are in power, they groan. – Proverbs 29:2 NLT

All of these proverbs can be applied on a broad scale and are not solely applicable to kings and other authority figures. But it almost appears as if the men who collected these sayings were purposefully concentrating their efforts to find those proverbs that would make the greatest impact on their employer: The king.

A just king gives stability to his nation,
    but one who demands bribes destroys it. – Proverbs 29:4 NLT

The sheer number of references to rulers and kings would seem to indicate that there was a concerted effort to choose those proverbs that might influence King Hezekiah to rule wisely and ethically. It was to their benefit that the king behave in a manner that was in keeping with the will of God.

If a ruler pays attention to liars,
    all his advisers will be wicked. – Proverbs 29:12 NLT

If a king judges the poor fairly,
    his throne will last forever. – Proverbs 29:14 NLT

In a way, these men were acting as unofficial counselors to the king by providing him with advice in the form of these Solomonic sayings. As the king read each proverb, he would have been positively impacted by the wisdom found in them. And while many of these sayings have a positive tone to them, there are some that could easily come across as veiled criticism. Hezekiah’s officials must have realized that, with each negative proverb they included, they were at risk of offending their employer. But verse one would have reminded the king that criticism carried just as much weight as a compliment.

Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism
    will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery. – Proverbs 29:1 NLT

These proverbs have universal application and appeal because all of us long for power in some form or fashion. Any thought of being weak and powerless is naturally repulsive to us. And the truth is, we all wield some kind of authority over someone or something else. The question is – how do we handle power when we have it? Are we fair and just or do we display our power with pride, arrogance, and in an abusive manner?

Authority is a divine concept and God holds those in authority responsible for their actions. God gave Adam and Eve special responsibility to steward His creation. Abraham was given authority by God to serve as the progenitor of a great nation. And Moses was given authority to lead those very same people out of captivity and into freedom. The prophets were given authority to act as God’s spokespersons and proclaim His word to His rebellious people. God gave the disciples authority over demons, disease, and even death.

But all authority can be abused. We can utilize our positions of power or influence for good or bad. A parent can abuse their child, using their authority to destroy the heart and soul of the one they are to nurture and love. A boss can abuse their responsibility, taking advantage of his employees, and overworking them while he underpays them. Politicians and rulers can abuse their authority, ignoring the needs of their constituents in favor of maintaining their party's power and their own position.

The godly care about the rights of the poor;
    the wicked don’t care at all. – Proverbs 29:7 NLT

The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about authority and this chapter is no exception. It reminds us that godly leadership is the best form of leadership because it produces positive benefits for its constituents (verse 2). But ungodly leadership produces pain and heartache for those who must bear up under it.

According to God, the kind of leadership or authority He is looking for is just, fair, compassionate, and caring. In other words, God expects those with authority over others to practice His brand of leadership. He wants them to lead the way He leads. That means we must lead through love. We must discipline on occasion, but always out of love. We must judge at times, but never in an unloving manner. We must guide and direct those under our care with love and not with anger.

Fools vent their anger,
    but the wise quietly hold it back. – Proverbs 29:12 NLT

Authority is a huge responsibility. Ultimately, those in authority will be held responsible by God for their actions. There’s no place for pride, selfishness, greed, or self-gain.

Those who hold positions of authority exist for the good of others. They hold the welfare of others in their hands, whether they lead a nation or a family. But ungodly, unethical leaders can use their influence to stir up trouble and cause dissent.

Mockers can get a whole town agitated,
    but the wise will calm anger. – Proverbs 29:8 NLT

People who hold positions of authority but who lack godly wisdom can be dangerous. They lack insight and are incapable of seeing the world the way God does. They view their power as a right and a privilege and fail to understand that they are no better than the people they oppress and abuse.

The poor and the oppressor have this in common—
    the Lord gives sight to the eyes of both. – Proverbs 29:13 NLT

Because they have no fear of God, they do not realize that He watches over the helpless, hopeless, innocent, and powerless. He will hold those in authority responsible for the manner in which they rule, judge, lead, care for, and protect those under their care. And anyone who holds a position of authority is wise to recognize and constantly remind themselves that God is the ultimate authority. He is the one who is in control of all things. All others report to Him. They owe their positions to Him. They get their right to rule from Him. So they should rule well and lead wisely. They should use their god-given authority responsibly.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Fear of Man.

Proverbs 29

“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.” – Proverbs 29:25 NLT

Most of us don't want to admit it and the rest of us probably just don't recognize it, but we all suffer from an inordinate fear of man – and it takes all kinds of forms. Sometimes we simply worry about what others will think about us. We get dressed in the morning selecting our wardrobe based on the various reactions we hope to get from those we work with. Some of us are petrified to speak in front of others, breaking out in a cold sweat at the very thought of it. Many of us fear rejection or getting hurt, so we refuse to let anyone get close to us. Others of us fear being made fun of or laughed at by others. Then there are those who fear being found out, of getting exposed and watching as others discover some hidden truth about us that we have covered up for years.

The fear of man is alive and well. And this simple proverb tells us that it is a dangerous trap. The truth is, any time we fear what people might do or think, we are allowing them to control our lives. Changing clothes three times in the morning out of some sense of insecurity and need to impress others is fear-based and debilitating. It robs us of joy. It traps us in a relentless pursuit of acceptance, never knowing if we are going to please those around us with our choices and whether or not we can influence others to like us, or just simply notice us. Refusing to pursue relationships out of a fear of being rejected leaves us isolated and missing out on the vital aspect of community we were meant to have as human beings. The fear of rejection causes us to turn inward, diminishing our capacity to give ourselves away to others and robbing us of joy in the process.

Every day we wrestle with the fear of man. But as believers, we are reminded that it is trust in God that should drive our actions and attitudes. Allowing ourselves to be driven by the fear of man shows that we do not really believe that God is sovereign and capable of taking care of us. We try to impress others in order to receive some kind of affirmation and acceptance in return. Yet, we are loved and accepted by God, JUST THE WAY WE ARE. We allow ourselves to become incapacitated by our fear of others, yet we worship an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God who has promised to protect us and provide for us. It is easy to fear men because they are all around us and easy to see. It is harder to trust God because He is literally out of sight, which tends to render Him out of mind. But we must constantly remind ourselves of His presence and rest in His promise that He will never leave us of forsake us. The writer of Hebrews reminds us, "So we can say with confidence, 'The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?'" (Hebrews 13:6 NLT). He was simply reiterating an Old Testament thought penned by King David himself, "The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?" (Psalm 118:6 NLT). The fear of man is a trap. But when we learn to trust in God, we find ourselves in a place of safety. We are free to be who He intended us to be. We learn that our worth is based on what He thinks about us, not others. We don't have to fear what others think about us or might do to us, because God is on our side. He loves us and thinks the world of us. In fact, He loves us so much that He sent His own Son to die for us. He is not impressed with or swayed by our clothes, cars, and winning personalities. He will never harm us, ridicule us, or do anything to belittle us. He will never reject us, even though He knows everything about us. So why would we fear what others think? Don't fall into that trap. Instead, trust in God.

Father, it's so easy to fear man. But I want to trust You more and more. Keep opening my eyes to the reality of just how prevalent the fear of man is in my life and then help me to replace it with trust in You. Amen.

World Gone Wild.

Proverbs 29

“When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.” – Proverbs 29:18 NLT

Take a look around you. The world has gone wild. It has cast off the restraints imposed on it by God by rejecting His Word and His will and refusing to acknowledge Him as God. There are few, if any, restraints to public morality any more. Everything is acceptable, tolerable and normal in society. In the New International Version, this verse reads, "Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint." The idea is that there is no longer any word from God from the lips of the prophets of God. They are no longer speaking because God is no longer talking. Without God's divine guidance and righteous rules for living, the people literally, "let loose." They throw caution to the wind and embrace anything and everything as morally acceptable. The mantra, "If it feels good, do it" becomes the rule of the day. Everyone becomes motivated by their own pleasures and desires. Whether God's restraining hand gets removed or the people simply reject it, the outcome is always the same. There will be unchecked, unrestrained immorality and rebellion against God. They will run wild.

But there is another side to this proverb. It says, "But whoever obeys the law is joyful." Those who choose to listen to the Word of God and obey it, will find joy. Rather than restrictive, they will find the Word of God restorative and rest-producing. Throughout the Word of God we are given clear indications of what God expects from His people. He does not save us, then allow us to live according to our own standards or some arbitrary set of guidelines set by the majority of our peers. No, God has righteous and holy standards which are designed to guide His people in their daily interactions with Him and with one another. Unlike during the days of the Jews, who were required to try and keep God's law in order to live righteous lives, as believers we do not obey God's Word out of some sense of earning favor or brownie points with God. Our righteousness is not based on the effectiveness of our obedience, but on what Jesus Christ accomplished on the cross. We obey because we have been redeemed. We gladly keep God's law because we love the One who gave it. We obey because we know how much He loves us and wants what is best for us. That is what produces joy.

If we choose to disobey, which we all do at times, we "run wild." We end up casting off the loving restraints put there by God and choose to live according to our own selfish, self-satisfying standards. We do what is right in our own eyes, not God's. We become driven by our passions, rather than God's Word. But God has called us to a life of obedience. He has set His divine rules over the world, not as some kind of cosmic kill-joy, but because He knows what is best. His standards are righteous and right. His rules have a restraining and restorative quality to them. They bring peace and joy. But when they're ignored, the people run wild.

Father, may we learn to be a people who cherishes Your Word and obeys it. May we recognize the joy found in Your divine standards. We see the world running wild because they have cast off all restraints and rejected Your Word. May we as Your people remain a restraining and restorative factor in society because we value and cherish Your commands. Amen.