31 Then David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and mourn before Abner.” And King David followed the bier. 32 They buried Abner at Hebron. And the king lifted up his voice and wept at the grave of Abner, and all the people wept. 33 And the king lamented for Abner, saying,
“Should Abner die as a fool dies?
34 Your hands were not bound;
your feet were not fettered;
as one falls before the wicked
you have fallen.”
And all the people wept again over him. 35 Then all the people came to persuade David to eat bread while it was yet day. But David swore, saying, “God do so to me and more also, if I taste bread or anything else till the sun goes down!” 36 And all the people took notice of it, and it pleased them, as everything that the king did pleased all the people. 37 So all the people and all Israel understood that day that it had not been the king's will to put to death Abner the son of Ner. 38 And the king said to his servants, “Do you not know that a prince and a great man has fallen this day in Israel? 39 And I was gentle today, though anointed king. These men, the sons of Zeruiah, are more severe than I. The Lord repay the evildoer according to his wickedness!” – 2 Samuel 3:31-39 ESV
The actions of David recorded in this chapter are difficult to discern and even harder to defend. On the one hand, he appears as a gracious and forgiving leader who is willing to overlook the sins of Abner for the better good of the nation. A sincere desire to unify the fractured country seems to be the motivating factor behind his behavior, but it all comes across as a bit heavy-handed and unnecessary. David treated the fallen Abner like a national hero, honoring him with an elaborate funeral and ordering a day of mourning in his memory.
But Abner was no saint. This was the man who helped lead a revolt against David and influenced 11 of the tribes of Israel to appoint Ish-bosheth as their king. He even led the Israelite troops in a pitched battle against the forces of David at Gibeon. Abner was anything but a loyal ally or faithful friend to David, yet he was given a funeral fit for a king.
Were David’s actions nothing more than a well-orchestrated and highly visible PR campaign designed to sway public opinion? It’s difficult to say. But there is no indication that David held a memorial for the death of Asahel, the young man that Abner murdered in cold blood. The text simply states that “they took up Asahel and buried him in the tomb of his father” (2 Samuel 2:32 ESV). David isn’t even mentioned as having attended Asahel’s funeral in Bethlehem, and this was the brother of Joab, David’s faithful military commander.
One of the most disheartening aspects of this entire scenario is David’s insensitive treatment of his friend and fellow warrior, Joab. Not only did he curse Joab and his family for the unsanctioned execution of Abner, but David also commanded Joab to publicly mourn Abner’s death.
Then David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and mourn before Abner.” – 2 Samuel 3:32 ESV
What a devastating slap in the face this must have been for the still-grieving Joab. On David’s orders, he was forced to fête the murderer of his own brother. To make matters worse, David publicly humiliated Joab by declaring that Abner’s death was a criminal act.
“Should Abner have died like a fool?
Your hands were not bound,
and your feet were not put into irons.
You fell the way one falls before criminals.” – 2 Samuel 3:33-34 NLT
In essence, he pronounced Abner as guiltless and portrayed him as the innocent victim of premeditated murder. Yet, according to Mosaic Law, Joab had simply fulfilled his role as the blood-avenger. Abner had killed his brother so Joab fulfilled the legal code of lex talionis – the law of retribution in kind.
But David viewed Joab’s actions as impulsive and potentially detrimental to his quest to unify the nation under his leadership. By executing Abner, Joab had jeopardized David’s kingly aspirations. So, he overcompensated and treated Abner like a martyr. He even practiced a self-imposed fast, refusing to eat until sunset. This was evidently a public display that caught the interest of his servants, who urged him to break his fast but David refused, stating, “May God strike me and even kill me if I eat anything before sundown” (2 Samuel 3:35 NLT). Once again, David appears to be putting on a public display to convince the Israelites of his great love for Abner. It was an Oscar-worthy performance designed to sway public opinion in his favor. The text even states, “This pleased the people very much. In fact, everything the king did pleased them! So everyone in Judah and all Israel understood that David was not responsible for Abner’s murder” (2 Samuel 3:36-37 NLT).
David’s ploy worked. Even though his own military commander had been responsible for Abner’s death, David somehow managed to escape responsibility or any form of culpability. He came out smelling like a rose but ensured that Joab and his brother, Abishai, suffered tarnished reputations and the possible threat of divine payback.
“…even though I am the anointed king, these two sons of Zeruiah—Joab and Abishai—are too strong for me to control. So may the Lord repay these evil men for their evil deeds.” – 2 Samuel 3:39 NLT
It seems odd that David held so much contempt for Joab and Abishai but failed to view the actions of Abner with suspicion. He posthumously called Abner “a prince and a great man” (2 Samuel 3:38 ESV) but labeled Joab and Abishai as wicked evildoers. These conflicting designations seem out of touch with reality and undeserved. Abner had done nothing to earn David’s respect and Israel’s adulation but neither had Joab done anything worthy of being treated as a common criminal.
Little did David know that his actions would have deadly consequences. His desire to unify the tribes and solidify his monarchy would end up costing Ish-bosheth his life. When Saul took his own life, Abner helped Ish-bosheth ascend to his father’s throne, securing the loyalty of 11 of the 12 tribes of Israel. But when Abner switched his allegiance to David, Ish-bosheth was left without a military commander and in a highly vulnerable position. As the next chapter records, Ish-bosheth became a target for those who wished to win the favor of Israel’s new king. His commander had switched sides leaving him with a precarious hold on his kingdom and a bullseye on his back.
It wouldn’t take long for David’s dream of unifying the nation to become Ish-bosheth’s nightmare. David’s unification-at-all-costs strategy began leaving a long line of bodies in its wake. God had promised him the kingdom but now David was trying to secure it through human means. His alliance with Abner was ill-conceived and less than successful. It led Joab to take matters into his own hands. If David wouldn’t punish Abner, Joab would. When Abner assured David that he could sway the 11 tribes to switch their allegiance, David never considered the implications for Saul’s son, Ish-bosheth.
He also failed to consider the long-term effects that his curse would have on Joab, Abishai, and their families. In the heat of the moment and fearing the fallout from Joab’s actions, David pronounced a generational curse on one of his dearest friends and trusted military commander.
“May the family of Joab be cursed in every generation with a man who has open sores or leprosy or who walks on crutches or dies by the sword or begs for food!” – 2 Samuel 3:29 NLT
Those are strong words and they must have hit Joab hard. After all, he was David’s nephew and had served at his uncle’s side all during the years of his exile. But with the death of Abner, the friendship of David and Joab would be stretched thin. He remained a commander in David’s army but ultimately lost his respect for his former friend. In time, their relationship would go south and Joab would prove to be a less-than-faithful ally to the king.
David’s reign was being solidified but at what cost? He would soon have the backing of all 12 tribes of Israel but would lose the benefit of his relationship with Joab.
English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
