Living His Way.

I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. – 1 Corinthians 7:7-11 ESV Paul understood well the necessity of marriage. He knew it was ordained by God and, when treated properly, could provide believers with the full benefits of their sexuality as intended by God. As far as Paul was concerned, marriage was the only appropriate context for sexual expression between a man and a woman, because that was how God had planned it. But Paul had a personal appreciation for singleness. Evidently, Paul was unmarried at the time this letter was written. We do not know if he had ever been married. But when he writes, “I wish that all were as I myself am,” he is stating a personal opinion, not the will of God. He is in no signifying that singleness is better than marriage. He simply knew that marriage required a great deal of commitment and sacrifice, requiring each person in the relationship to put the needs of the other ahead of their own. For Paul, being single allowed him the freedom to dedicate all his time and attention to the spread of the gospel and for ministry to the growing number of churches around the world.

For Paul, singleness was a gift from God. He believed it was God who had given him the self-control to live as an unmarried man and to not, as he put it, “burn with passion.” He had a supernatural, God-given capacity to resist the temptations associated with lust. Even Jesus alluded to the existence of this gift. One day He was confronted by the Pharisees and asked whether it was “lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause” (Matthew 19:3b ESV). Quoting from the Old Testament, Jesus replied, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5-6 ESV). Jesus went on to explain that “whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful” (Matthew 19:9 NLT). Marriage was a binding covenant. This statement led one of the disciples to state, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” (Matthew 19:10 NLT). And Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this statement. Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” (Matthew 19:11-12 NLT). Jesus Himself never married, for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. He said, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me” (John 6:38 ESV). 

Singleness has its advantages when it comes to ministry. But it is not for everyone. So Paul goes on to address those who were married. He speaks to the women first, reminding them that they should not divorce their husbands. Paul was simply repeating the words of Jesus. “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery” (Mark 10:11-12 NLT). Paul knew, just as Jesus did, that just because divorce was prohibited, it would not stop it from happening. So they both commanded no remarriage after divorce. To do so was to commit adultery. Paul states that if a woman divorces her husband, “she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:11a ESV). And then he adds, “and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:11b ESV). Jesus seems to have given only one exception to His no-divorce mandate. When He stated, “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9 ESV), He appears to present sexual immorality on the part of one of the married partners as the only grounds for divorce. In that case, it would seem that the offending partner has broken the covenant of oneness. But Paul emphasizes that whoever finds themselves divorced for whatever reason, should remain single or be reconciled to their partner.

It is important to remember that Paul is calling the Corinthians believers to live out their faith in the midst of a dark, pagan culture where virtually anything was considered acceptable behavior. Divorce was commonplace. Sexual immorality was rampant. Sexual sins of all kinds were prevalent and regularly practiced. He is demanding that the Corinthians live lives worthy of their calling as followers of Christ. They are to be distinctly different in their actions and attitudes. Their approach to life was to be determined by their faith, not their feelings. They were to be driven by a desire to please God, not their own desires. It is highly possible that there were some in the church in Corinth who were divorcing their spouses in order to escape having sexual relations altogether. More than likely, these individuals were influenced by the philosophy of dualism that flourished in Greek culture. It led them to believe that anything associated with the body was evil. Divorce allowed them to experience “freedom” from involvement with sex altogether. But their views were unbiblical and un-Christlike. While the culture around them was distorting God’s views on everything from marriage to human sexuality, Paul was reminding them that they were the church of God, “sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints” (1 Corinthians 1:2 ESV). Like the Corinthians, we have been called to live lives that are set apart from the world. We are to be holy, different and distinct. We exist to bring glory to God. We are His children, His workmanship, “created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10 ESV).

When Judgment Is Justified.

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people — not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler — not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” – 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 ESV Evidently, Paul had written another letter to the church in Corinth that was sent prior to this one. In it he had made it quite clear that they were “not to associate with sexually immoral people.” That one command makes their toleration of the sin within their midst all the more egregious. They had turned a blind eye to the individual in their fellowship who was having an incestuous affair with his stepmother. Rather than confront this man about his sin, they were willingly tolerating it, even bragging about it. And yet, according to these verses, it seems that the believers in Corinth were isolating themselves from the unbelievers in their city. They were practicing a form of isolationism, refusing to have anything to do with the lost, probably out of a sense of moral superiority.

But Paul wants to make himself perfectly clear. In his previous letter, he was in no way promoting a brand of monasticism or spiritual isolationism. To attempt to eliminate all contact with unbelieving sinners would require that they leave the world. It is impossible to disassociate oneself as a believer from all contact with the lost. In fact, to attempt to do so would go against Jesus’ call that we be salt and light in a world filled with moral decay and spiritual darkness. Jesus Himself was accused of associating with sinners. He went out of His way to spend time with those who, in His day, were deemed the worst of sinners. If we adopt a policy of spiritual isolationism, it will be difficult to “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone” (Mark 6:15 NLT). Had Paul determined to have nothing do with the immoral, greedy, swindlers, and idolaters, no one in Corinth would have ever come to know Jesus Christ as their Savior. In the very next chapter, Paul writes,

Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people — none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NLT

As Christians, it is so easy to judge the world and to view ourselves as somehow morally superior because of our faith in Christ. But we should never forget that, prior to the gift of grace given to us by God, we were sinners, condemned, unclean. We“lived in this world without God and without hope” (Ephesians 2:12 NLT). But God showed us mercy and graciously revealed to us the message of hope found in the death, burial and resurrection of His Son. We were lost, but God found us. We were spiritually blind, but God gave us sight. We were dead in our trespasses and sins, but God gave us new life through Christ.

We have no right to judge the world. But Paul would say that we have every right and responsibility to judge one another as believers. The Greek word Paul uses is κρίνω (krinō) and it has a range of meanings. It can mean “to pronounce an opinion concerning right and wrong.” It can also mean, “to pronounce judgment, to subject to censure” (“G2919 - krinō - Strong’s Greek Lexicon (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible). There is a sense in which we are to judge one another’s actions. But our judgment is not to be arbitrary or subjective. It is not left up to our own opinion. We are to use the Word of God with the help of the Spirit of God to determine whether the behavior of a brother or sister in Christ is in keeping with the will of God. Our first goal should be restoration. Paul told the Galatians, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself” (Galatians 6:1 NLT). James wrote something very similar: “My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins” (James 5:19-20 NLT). If we judge or determine that a fellow believer is living in sin, we have an obligation to lovingly confront them. Our goal is to be repentance and restoration. But in those cases where they refuse to repent, we have a responsibility to the body of Christ to practice a form of tough love. We must remove them from our midst. Paul says, “not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people” (1 Corinthians 5:11 NLT). Their lifestyle choice does not match their professed belief in Jesus. By their actions, they are bringing shame and dishonor to the name of God. They are a cancer in the body of Christ, and our refusal to remove them allows their sinful, disobedient mindset to infect others.

It is our willful tolerance of sin in the camp that causes the body of Christ to be weak and anemic. We are more than willing to judge the world, pointing our fingers at their sinfulness and pridefully claiming the moral high ground. But when it comes to the blatant sins of our own, we are more than willing to turn a blind eye and act as if nothing is wrong. That is exactly what the Corinthians had done. There was sin in their midst and they had chosen to ignore it. Like so many of us today, they were probably saying, “Who am I to judge?” Or they were basing their lack of judgment on the words of Jesus, “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?” (Matthew 7:1-3 NLT). But what Jesus was saying was that we are not meant to pass judgment on those whom we have no authority to do so. The context to Jesus’ statement is hypocrisy – judging someone else when you have not effectively dealt with your own sin. It is judging and condemning the “speck” of sin in someone else’s life while ignoring your the “log” of sin in your own.

Judgment is appropriate and right when done with the spiritual well-being of the body of Christ in mind. We have a responsibility to protect the integrity of God’s household, removing those who refuse to repent. The fact is, we all sin. But we are to confess our sins and turn from them. When we do, God is faithful to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. But if we choose to remain unrepentant, our brothers and sisters in Christ have an obligation to step in and call us out. As Paul so clearly puts it: “It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning” (1 Corinthians 5:12 NLT).