When Desire Replaces our Delight in God

39 When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Blessed be the Lord who has avenged the insult I received at the hand of Nabal, and has kept back his servant from wrongdoing. The Lord has returned the evil of Nabal on his own head.” Then David sent and spoke to Abigail, to take her as his wife. 40 When the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel, they said to her, “David has sent us to you to take you to him as his wife.” 41 And she rose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, “Behold, your handmaid is a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.” 42 And Abigail hurried and rose and mounted a donkey, and her five young women attended her. She followed the messengers of David and became his wife.

43 David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel, and both of them became his wives. 44 Saul had given Michal his daughter, David’s wife, to Palti the son of Laish, who was of Gallim. – 1 Samuel 25:39-44  ESV

In these closing verses of chapter 25, we’re given a glimpse into an area of David’s life that would prove to be an ongoing problem throughout his life. He loved women, and this attraction to the opposite sex would be a constant thorn in his side even after becoming the king. He would even pass on this propensity to his son, Solomon, who took David’s obsession with women to a whole new level.

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord. – 1 Kings 11:1-3 NLT

And all of this, as the passage reflects, was in direct violation of God’s commands. Long before Saul wore the crown, God had warned the people of Israel that their future kings should abstain from the pagan practice of polygamy.

The king must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the LORD. – Deuteronomy 17:17 NLT

Yet, after David finally ascended the throne, he continued his practice of accumulating wives, in direct violation of God’s command.

After moving from Hebron to Jerusalem, David married more concubines and wives, and they had more sons and daughters. – 2 Samuel 5:13 NLT

David was a man after God’s own heart, but he was far from perfect. Women were his Achilles heel, and he found Abigail highly attractive. On top of that, she was godly, wise, assertive, brave, insightful, and a take-charge kind of woman. It also didn’t hurt that she was recently widowed. In fact, David didn’t seem to give Nabal’s body time to cool off before he made his move on Abigail, asking her to marry him.

The text ends with the statement, “David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel, and both of them became his wives” (1 Samuel 25:43 ESV). It also references Michal, David’s first wife, whom he left behind when he fled from Saul. She was eventually given to another man, but David was most likely unaware of that fact. So effectively, he had three wives at one time. Again, in direct disobedience to the will of God.

Why is this important? It provides us with an insight into the life of this man who would prove to be Israel’s greatest king and who, as has already been pointed out, was declared by God to be a man after His own heart. David loved God. He wanted to serve God. He had a deep desire to honor and obey God. But he also had a sin nature, just like the rest of us. One of David’s weak spots was his inordinate attraction to women. Satan would repeatedly use this weakness to his own advantage, tempting David to give in to his overactive libido. Over time, David would learn to justify his actions, excusing his sexual obsession as natural and normal. And yet, this sinful proclivity was a spiritual weakness, a chink in his armor that would make him an easy target for the Enemy.

When it comes to this issue, there are some less-than-flattering similarities between David and the Old Testament judge, Samson. During a time when the Jews were being tormented by the Philistines because of their disobedience, God raised up Samson to be their judge and deliverer. He was a powerful man, but he had a particular weakness.

One day when Samson was in Timnah, one of the Philistine women caught his eye. When he returned home, he told his father and mother, “A young Philistine woman in Timnah caught my eye. I want to marry her. Get her for me.” – Judges 14:1-2 NLT

Like David, Samson couldn’t keep his eyes or his hands off of women. His mother and father tried to reason with Samson and talk him out of choosing a wife who was a pagan, but he refused to listen.

“Get her for me! She looks good to me.” – Judges 14:3 NLT

Later on, we read, “One day Samson went to the Philistine town of Gaza and spent the night with a prostitute” (Judges 16:1 NLT). And then, “Some time later Samson fell in love with a woman named Delilah, who lived in the valley of Sorek” (Judges 16:4 NLT). These two women would prove to be thorns in Samson’s side, causing him much grief and sorrow. In time, his dalliance with Delilah would result in his own death.

David also struggled with a lustful and almost lascivious attraction to women. The most infamous story concerning David and his love affair with the opposite sex involves his affair with Bathsheba. David was the king. He was rich, powerful, and happily married to several women already. But one day, as he walked on the rooftop patio of his palace, he spied Bathsheba bathing alfresco. David was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The passage states, “In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites…However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem” (2 Samuel 11:1 NLT).

David wasn’t where he was supposed to be. He was the warrior-king, but instead of going into battle with the Ammonites, he would end up losing a battle with his own lusts. His lust for Bathsheba quickly turned to action and he ended up having sex with her. When their affair resulted in her pregnancy, he began a cover-up campaign, that eventually led him to have her husband, a faithful soldier in his army, purposely exposed and killed on the front lines of battle – all so David could marry his wife and cover up his illicit affair.

James provides us with a stark explanation of how this whole process works.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. – James 1:14-15 NLT

David was a man after God’s own heart, but he had a problem. His heart was divided. He loved women. He saw them as a source of satisfaction, comfort, pleasure, and self-worth. They made him feel good. They provided him with companionship. Perhaps they helped fulfill his need for conquest. Whatever drove his love affair with women would end up distracting him from what should have been his primary focus: His love for and dedication to God.

The chapter ends with the statement that “Saul had given Michal his daughter, David's wife, to Palti the son of Laish, who was of Gallim” (1 Samuel 25:44 ESV). This is important because, while it might be easy to use this as an explanation of why David took Abigail to be his wife, it falls short. Years later, when David became king and Saul was dead, he sent for Michal, demanding that Ish-bosheth, the sole remaining heir to the throne of Saul, hand her over.

So David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, saying, “Give me my wife Michal, to whom I was betrothed for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.”  Ish-bosheth sent and took her from her husband, from Paltiel the son of Laish. But her husband went with her, weeping as he went, and followed her as far as Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go, return.” So he returned. – 2 Samuel 3:14-16 ESV

Even though David had married multiple wives since his departure from Saul’s palace, he couldn’t stop thinking about Michal. He had to have her, so he had her forcibly removed from her husband. Like so many of David’s decisions regarding women, this one would prove to be less than ideal. Forcibly removed from her new husband, Michal would end up despising David and his God. Their marriage would produce little in the way of love and no offspring.

David had the propensity to be driven by desire, and that desire would prove to be a distraction throughout his life. Even in his old age, as he neared the point of death, an attractive woman would play a significant role in his life.

King David was now very old, and no matter how many blankets covered him, he could not keep warm. So his advisers told him, “Let us find a young virgin to wait on you and look after you, my lord. She will lie in your arms and keep you warm.”

So they searched throughout the land of Israel for a beautiful girl, and they found Abishag from Shunem and brought her to the king. The girl was very beautiful, and she looked after the king and took care of him. But the king had no sexual relations with her. – 1 Kings 1:1-4 NLT

We all have weaknesses. Each of us has our spiritual Achilles heel, which our enemy, Satan knows about and takes full advantage of at every opportunity. He tempts, lures, and entices us. He baits the hook with the very thing we find most attractive. It may be sex, popularity, material possessions, pleasure, a sense of accomplishment, or power. In essence, our weakness is nothing more than an insight into what we have made an idol in our life – a false god that serves as a stand-in or substitute for the one true God. For David, women were his go-to choice for satisfaction, self-worth, and a sense of joy. Sexual pleasure was his idol of choice. What is yours? What do you turn to other than God? What do you worship in place of God? Anything we worship in place of  God robs him of glory. It becomes a weakness in our life that must be confessed and removed. When God said, “You must not have any other god but me” (Exodus 20:3 NLT), He meant it, and David would have to learn to believe it.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The God-less Life

6 Now Saul heard that David was discovered, and the men who were with him. Saul was sitting at Gibeah under the tamarisk tree on the height with his spear in his hand, and all his servants were standing about him. 7 And Saul said to his servants who stood about him, “Hear now, people of Benjamin; will the son of Jesse give every one of you fields and vineyards, will he make you all commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds, 8 that all of you have conspired against me? No one discloses to me when my son makes a covenant with the son of Jesse. None of you is sorry for me or discloses to me that my son has stirred up my servant against me, to lie in wait, as at this day.” 9 Then answered Doeg the Edomite, who stood by the servants of Saul, “I saw the son of Jesse coming to Nob, to Ahimelech the son of Ahitub, 10 and he inquired of the Lord for him and gave him provisions and gave him the sword of Goliath the Philistine.”

11 Then the king sent to summon Ahimelech the priest, the son of Ahitub, and all his father’s house, the priests who were at Nob, and all of them came to the king. 12 And Saul said, “Hear now, son of Ahitub.” And he answered, “Here I am, my lord.” 13 And Saul said to him, “Why have you conspired against me, you and the son of Jesse, in that you have given him bread and a sword and have inquired of God for him, so that he has risen against me, to lie in wait, as at this day?” – 1 Samuel 22:6-13  ESV

These verses provide a stark contrast between Saul and David. While David was in a cave surrounded by misfits and malcontents, Saul was sitting under the shade of a tree surrounded by his servants and soldiers. The contrast doesn’t stop there. David provided protection for his family by sending them to the king of Moab for refuge. Yet Saul was busy accusing his own son of treason and of conspiring with David to kill him. David was surrounded by men who were willing to die for him. Saul was surrounded by men who feared him and some had even abandoned him to follow after David. But the greatest contrast between these two men was their relationships with God.

David received a prophetic word from God that told him to leave the Cave of Adullam and return to Judah. But Saul had received no word from God. In fact, he had no relationship with God at all. God had removed His Spirit from him, leaving Saul completely on his own and by all accounts, God-less. The result was a growing paranoia. He truly believed everyone was against him. He thought his own children had betrayed him. He viewed his servants suspiciously and feared their disloyalty. No one could be trusted, and his paranoia led to a heavy dose of self-pity. He felt all alone and accused his servants of being compassionless traitors.

“Has that son of Jesse promised every one of you fields and vineyards? Has he promised to make you all generals and captains in his army? Is that why you have conspired against me?” – 1 Samuel 22:7-8 NLT

“You’re not even sorry for me.” – 1 Samuel 22:8 NLT

Saul even accused Ahimelech the priest of treason, seeing his actions to help David as a personal attack against him.

“Why have you and the son of Jesse conspired against me?” – 1 Samuel 22:13 NLT

Without God in his life, Saul was susceptible to all kinds of irrational and unrighteous thinking. His capacity to mentally process the circumstances of his life was greatly hindered by his lack of God’s presence. He had become a fool, lacking reason and the capacity for rational thought. He wasn’t even able to process the fact that all of this was the outcome of the prophet’s warning that God was removing His hand from Saul’s life and giving his kingdom to another. Saul was in a state of denial and suffering from delusion, believing that he could somehow prevent the inevitable and stay the sovereign hand of God. But his unwillingness to accept the will of God would simply cause him to sin against God, committing greater and greater transgressions, all in a hopeless attempt at self-preservation.

Standing among Saul’s servants that day was Doeg the Edomite. This keeper of the flocks of Saul had hurried back from Nob eager to share his incriminating news about David. In an attempt to win favor with his employer, Doeg disclosed all that he had witnessed. When Saul heard this report, he immediately sent for Ahimelech, his family, and all the priests who served alongside him at Nob. If Ahimelech had been scared when David showed up in Nob (1 Samuel 21:1), he must have been petrified at the news of a summons from the king, and any fears he had would have been justified.

Saul was a man possessed, both figuratively and literally. He was constantly beset by a “harmful spirit,” the result of God’s removal of the Holy Spirit from his life. Without the influence of God’s Spirit, Saul’s reasoning was impaired. He became self-absorbed and suspicious of everyone and everything. Over time, he would become man-obsessed, unable to think of anything other than the destruction of David. Essentially, he would no longer perform his role as the king of Israel; his entire life would be focused on David’s death. His kingship, the very thing he was trying to protect, would get lost in his obsessive-compulsive quest to kill off the competition. Sadly, Saul would be unable to enjoy the benefits of being king because he lived in constant fear of being replaced as king.

One of the sad realities of godlessness is that it always results in joylessness, discontentment, fear, jealousy, and anger. The apostle Paul outlines the characteristics or “deeds” of a godless or flesh-based life in his letter to the Galatians.

…sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. – Galatians 5:20-21 NLT

Saul was miserable, not because he was losing his kingdom, but because he had lost his relationship with God. His unhappiness, paranoia, self-pity, and misguided attempts at self-preservation were driven by his lack of a relationship with God. His decision-making was totally flesh-based, driven by his own sinful nature and devoid of any divine wisdom. He had lost his capacity to see things from God’s perspective; everything had become all about him. He was no longer concerned about the good of Israel or the honor of God’s name. His only thoughts were for himself.

The life of the godless is not a pretty picture. The truly sad thing is that even those who have a relationship with Christ can end up living godless lives, refusing to seek His will, listen to His Word, or heed His direction. Rather than living God-centered, God-directed lives, they become self-absorbed and susceptible to the flawed input of their own sinful natures and the lies of the Enemy. While the Spirit of God never leaves them, they quench and grieve the Spirit through disobedience and willful, unrepentant sin. Rather than enjoying the fruit of the Spirit and the joys of sanctification, they become obsessed with self-preservation and paranoid about protecting their own earthly “kingdom.”

Jesus gave an insightful contrast between Satan’s objective and His own.

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” – John 10:10 NLT

Satan had deceived Saul, convincing him that joy could be found in pursuing and eliminating David. Saul had grown used to being king and enjoyed all the trappings of power, possessions, and prominence that came with the position. He viewed David as a threat to his preferred lifestyle and was willing to do anything to kill the Lord’s anointed. Yet, he was nothing more than a hapless pawn in the hand of Satan. There would be no joy in his future. He would never experience a rich and satisfying life. The Enemy had convinced Saul that standing against the will of God was not only possible but preferable. Despite the words of God’s prophet, Saul believed he could retain his crown and continue his control over the nation of Israel. But even with Satan’s assistance, Saul would find his will was no match for that of God.

The lesson from Saul’s life is timeless and provides a powerful reminder of how easy it is to fall prey to the Enemy’s tactics. He is still out to steal, kill, and destroy, and the primary focus of his efforts is the people of God. Just hours before His death, Jesus warned Peter,  “Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail” (Luke 22:31-32 NLT).

Peter provided a stern warning about the destructive nature of Satan’s actions.

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. – 1 Peter 5:8 NLT

Paul also warned against the Enemy’s relentless assault on God’s children.

Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.  – Ephesians 6:11-12 NLT

Satan is constantly attempting to deceive the children of God, tempting them to believe that their way is preferable to God’s way. But our way is the way of the flesh, and it eventually robs us of joy, kills our capacity to love, and destroys any hope of having a rich and satisfying life. Satan offers what he cannot give. Jesus promises what He died to make possible. The Godless life is a paranoid, self-pitying, joyless life. But the godly life brings joy amid sorrow, peace in the middle of the storm, hope when all looks hopeless, contentment in the face of loss, and strength despite our own weakness. 

Saul would never experience a rich and satisfying life by listening to the lies of the Enemy. His relentless pursuit of David would rob him of peace, joy, contentment, satisfaction, and any hope of ever experiencing the favor of God again. His life would be filled with misery and sorrow but so would David’s. Yet, because of his relationship with God, David would be able to say, “He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.  Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me” (Psalm 23:3-4 NLT).

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.