1 Timothy 5:1-16
Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters. – 1 Timothy 5:1-2 NLT
In the closing part of chapter 4, Paul gives Timothy three essential tasks he must master if he wants to be successful as a man of God. He must teach others, train himself to live a godly life, and he must typify with his life what it means to love and serve God. Now Paul gets even more practical, giving Timothy concrete examples of how to apply what he is learning to everyday life within the body of Christ. While Paul has encouraged Timothy to never "let anyone think less of you because you are young" (1 Timothy 4:12 NLT), he is also not to arrogantly flaunt his position as a shepherd of God and treat those under his care with disrespect. He is to give special attention to his relationships with older men and women in the church, honoring them as he would his own father and mother – giving them the respect they are due. And he to look on those younger men and women in the church as his brothers and sisters in Christ, showing the younger men dignity and interacting with the younger women in purity. Paul wants Timothy to know that being a minister of the Gospel isn't just about disseminating information and doling out discipline to the unruly and unfaithful. Everything hinges on relationships. The church is a family. It is a God-ordained collection of individuals from all walks of life who have been divinely joined together and commanded to care for, love and support on another. Personality conflicts, disagreements, residual sin natures, and personal problems will all tend to cause conflict within the local body of Christ. Timothy needed to know how to deal with the practical side of ministry – dealing with people and problems.
There are always constant needs within the church. In Paul's day, widows were a significant concern, because in that culture, they tended to be overlooked and neglected. Women were often considered second-class citizens with few rights and privileges. Marriage was their safety net. Being a wife and mother was a necessity for most women, providing a roof over their heads, a source of respect within the community, and a means of making ends meet in a culture where jobs for women were few and far between. That's why widows were especially vulnerable. They were viewed as having little value, and were neglected by the culture at large. But Paul encouraged Timothy to care for those widows who had become part of the family of God. He was to see to it that they were cared for, knowing that these women were looking to God as their help and source of hope. The church was to be the hands and feet of Christ, ministering to these women, ensuring that their families were caring for them properly. When there was no family to meet their needs, Timothy was to make sure that the family of God stepped in and cared for them properly.
As usual, these cases are never cut-and-dried. There are always underlying circumstances that must be considered and dealt with. It would be so much easier if we could just say, "Take care of the widows in the church." But there are always insinuating circumstances that make our decisions a bit more difficult and more grey than black-and-white. Timothy was to consider and all circumstances regarding widows. He had to consider their age, existing family relationships, and most importantly, their character. Not every woman who was a widow was to be the responsibility of the church. Careful consideration was to be taken when investigating the needs of these women. In some cases, their families were to be confronted and held accountable for having refused to step in and care for their own. Obviously, there were cases where sons and daughters had chosen to neglect the needs of their own mothers. This was unacceptable and the church was not obligated to take on their responsibility. Younger widows were not added to the "list" of those who received regular support from the church. It was still possible that they could remarry and have their own families and a means of support. It would appear from Paul's statements that the older widows who received care from the church willingly dedicate their lives and service to the body of Christ in return for financial support. They evidently vowed to not remarry, instead giving themselves in service to God. Younger women, if added to this list, if presented with the opportunity to remarry, would find it hard to live out that kind of commitment.
This is a very specific issue that was a real problem in the church in Ephesus. It is less a principle or law establishing the biblical requirements for how to care for widows in the local church than it is a glimpse into the kind of careful consideration that must be applied by shepherds when caring for their flock. The bottom line is that the church is all about relationships. It can be messy and, at times, difficult. There are always variables and certain circumstances that make decision making anything but easy. There are many things to consider when dealing with people and relationships. We must often apply a careful combination of biblical wisdom and common sense. We must do our homework, considering carefully and prayerfully what God would have us do, always striving to treat all with dignity, respect and honor.
Father, the church can be messy at time. It is filled with so many individuals and so many potential conflicts. The needs are great and sometimes they can seem overwhelming. When it comes to making decisions, it isn't always a case of black-and-white. We have to take the time to find out what is going on and determine what it is You would have us do. Thank You for providing the Holy Spirit as a means of guidance and Your Word as a reliable source of wisdom. Help us learn to live together in love and unity, illustrating for the lost world what it means to be the family of God. Amen