From Don’t to Won’t

17 Let not your heart envy sinners,
    but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day.
18 Surely there is a future,
    and your hope will not be cut off.

19 Hear, my son, and be wise,
    and direct your heart in the way.
20 Be not among drunkards
    or among gluttonous eaters of meat,
21 for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty,
    and slumber will clothe them with rags.

22 Listen to your father who gave you life,
    and do not despise your mother when she is old.
23 Buy truth, and do not sell it;
    buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding.
24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice;
    he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.
25 Let your father and mother be glad;
    let her who bore you rejoice.

26 My son, give me your heart,
    and let your eyes observe my ways.
27 For a prostitute is a deep pit;
    an adulteress is a narrow well.
28 She lies in wait like a robber
    and increases the traitors among mankind.

29 Who has woe? Who has sorrow?
    Who has strife? Who has complaining?
Who has wounds without cause?
    Who has redness of eyes?
30 Those who tarry long over wine;
    those who go to try mixed wine.
31 Do not look at wine when it is red,
    when it sparkles in the cup
    and goes down smoothly.
32 In the end it bites like a serpent
    and stings like an adder.
33 Your eyes will see strange things,
    and your heart utter perverse things.
34 You will be like one who lies down in the midst of the sea,
    like one who lies on the top of a mast.
35 “They struck me,” you will say, “but I was not hurt;
    they beat me, but I did not feel it.
When shall I awake?
    I must have another drink.” – Proverbs 23:17-35 ESV

Proverbs 23 contains a portion of the 30 wise sayings begun by Solomon in Proverbs 22. He prefaced his list with this explanation: "I am teaching you today – yes, you – so you will trust in the Lord. I have written thirty sayings for you, filled with advice and knowledge. In this way, you may know the truth…" (Proverbs 22:19-21 NLT).

The majority of what follows are warnings from Solomon to his sons concerning all those things they are to avoid. He provides them a list of prohibitions. Don't rob the poor, don't befriend angry people, don't agree to guarantee another person’s debt, etc. Solomon calls these sayings "the words of the wise." He encourages his sons to "keep them in your heart and always ready on your lips."

At first glance, they simply seem to be common-sense sayings that are based on good moral judgment and proper ethics. But in reality, they express the heart of God and the life of the man who knows and fears God. There are warnings against taking advantage of the poor who God cares for and will defend the disadvantaged and disenfranchised. There are warnings about allowing anything other than God to become your source of provision or pleasure. That is why he brings up dining with the wealthy, powerful, and influential. Solomon warns against doing it to gain favor, to be part of the in-crowd, or as a pathway to success? He warns his sons against becoming so obsessed with wealth that they wear themselves out in the pursuit of it.

They run the risk of making money a god, expecting it to do for them what only God Himself can do. Throughout Proverbs 23, Solomon warns his boys about the importance and danger of relationships. He talks about dining with rulers, eating with the stingy, cheating your neighbor, counseling fools, disciplining children, envying sinners, partying with drunks, and soliciting prostitutes. Our earthly relationships are a very clear indicator of the kind of relationship we have with God. The godly discipline their children; are content rather than envious of others; turn to God for assistance rather than the wealthy, powerful, and influential of this earth; practice self-control, and use discernment in living their lives.

Solomon began his list with the statement, "I am teaching you today – yes, you – so you will trust in the Lord." Many, if not all, of his warnings, have to do with taking advantage of others in order to get ahead. They paint the picture of an individual who is obsessed with the people and things of this earth only to satisfy his needs and desires. Solomon tells his sons to choose their relationships carefully – in the fear of the Lord. He advises them to control their physical appetites for food, wine, and sex – in the fear of the Lord. He encourages them to discipline their own children and to commit themselves to godly wisdom – all in the fear of the Lord.

At the heart of all behavior should be a healthy fear of and respect for God. NOT doing certain things will NOT result in godliness. We don't do these things because we are godly. We belong to God and we are His children. We represent Him on this earth. We refuse to live like the world. In the book of Titus, Paul writes, "For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed" (Titus 2:11-13 NLT).

We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God. That is exactly what Solomon is talking about. Our fear of, love for, and devotion to God should determine our behavior on this planet, and reflect that we are His children.

In the three dozen prohibitions found in chapters 22 and 23 of Proverbs, Solomon addresses everything from drinking to the dangers of gluttony. But why does Solomon find the need to list all these warnings and commands? Because he feared that his sons still lacked the ability to make wise decisions on their own.

The book of Proverbs is very practical, providing divinely inspired input for daily living. This is Monday-morning relevant stuff. No religious mumbo-jumbo or spiritual speak here. This is relevant counsel for real life. But if we try and apply these principles to our lives like self-help tips, we’re going to be highly disappointed. Oh, they might work for a while, because they are divine truths from the very throne of God. But we will be incapable of keeping them long-term because we really don't understand their value and we lack the convictions necessary to stick with them. We will be like a child who knows all the rules but fails to keep them because he doesn't understand the reasons behind them.

The key to applying the words of the wise is to understand the truth contained in them. If we simply view them as restrictions that keep us from doing the things we want to do, we will ultimately see them as roadblocks to our self-satisfaction. We may keep them for a time, out of fear of punishment, but as soon as we have the chance, we will rebel and reject them. That's why we are told to "get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment" (Proverbs 23:23 NLT).

These wise sayings are not wisdom in and of themselves. They are the byproduct of wisdom. They are wise because they have come from a wise God and have been revealed through the life experiences of wise men and women. We are told to get discipline because without it we will never be able to follow the counsel in this book. We need good judgment because without it we will never understand or appreciate the value of following the advice found on the pages of the book of Proverbs, or anywhere else in the Bible for that matter.

When children are young, one of the most common words they hear their parents say is "don't!" Everyone is constantly telling them what NOT to do. Why? Because they are young and lack the ability to know right from wrong. They are self-centered and live in a world in which they are the only occupant. Their desires come first. If they see something they want, they simply take it. If they crave something and someone denies them access to it, they find a way to get it anyway, even if it means disobeying the authorities in their life. Kids have to hear the word, "don't" because they don't know any better.

But there comes a time when we no longer have to say, "don't!" to our children as much as we used to. Why? Because they eventually grow in wisdom, discipline, and understanding. They reach a point where they understand the reason behind the restrictions. They grow wise in the ways of the world.

For some of us, reading this list of wise sayings leaves us nodding our heads in agreement because we already know the truth found in them. Others of us may read them and think, "This is hard stuff, I don't know if I can pull it off, or if I even agree with it."

They sound restrictive and unattractive to many of us. Because we lack wisdom. We need understanding. We are short on discernment. And all these things come from God. We need to get to know Him better. We need to know His heart so that we can see the truth contained in His Word. When our children are young and they hear us tell them "don't," they think we're mean. But as they grow older and get to know us better, they realize just how much we love them and have their best interest in mind. The same is true with God.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Fatherly Advice

1 When you sit down to eat with a ruler,
    observe carefully what is before you,
2 and put a knife to your throat
    if you are given to appetite.
3 Do not desire his delicacies,
    for they are deceptive food.
4 Do not toil to acquire wealth;
    be discerning enough to desist.
5 When your eyes light on it, it is gone,
    for suddenly it sprouts wings,
    flying like an eagle toward heaven.
6 Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy;
    do not desire his delicacies,
7 for he is like one who is inwardly calculating.
    “Eat and drink!” he says to you,
    but his heart is not with you.
8 You will vomit up the morsels that you have eaten,
    and waste your pleasant words.
9 Do not speak in the hearing of a fool,
    for he will despise the good sense of your words.
10 Do not move an ancient landmark
    or enter the fields of the fatherless,
11 for their Redeemer is strong;
    he will plead their cause against you.
12 Apply your heart to instruction
    and your ear to words of knowledge.
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;
    if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
14 If you strike him with the rod,
    you will save his soul from Sheol.
15 My son, if your heart is wise,
    my heart too will be glad.
16 My inmost being will exult
    when your lips speak what is right.– Proverbs 23:1-16 ESV

Solomon’s collection of 36 wise sayings appears to have been intended primarily for the benefit of his sons. As the heirs of his vast estate and formidable fortune, these young men would enjoy great privilege and power, but Solomon knew that it would come with great responsibility. Their ability to manage their assets and their actions would require wisdom. So, Solomon compiled this list of three dozen simple, yet profoundly beneficial maxims that he had gathered from the world’s sages.

Solomon knew that his sons would be exposed to a culture where the allure of wealth, power, and influence would be constant. As sons of the king, they would be a part of high society, rubbing shoulders with some of the most powerful people in the land. But Solomon knew that hobnobbing with the privileged class came with certain risks, and he wanted his sons to be aware of them.

First of all, they would need to maintain an air of self-control and humility. Entry into the upper echelons of society can be a heady experience. The accouterments of privilege and rank can be tantalizing. The fine food and expensive delicacies that wealth makes possible can be highly enjoyable but they can also prove to be a dangerous trap. An overabundance of food can easily expose a propensity for overeating and a lack of self-control. That is why Solomon warns his sons:

While dining with a ruler,
    pay attention to what is put before you.
If you are a big eater,
    put a knife to your throat;
don’t desire all the delicacies,
    for he might be trying to trick you. – Proverbs 23:1-3 NLT

Solomon understood that there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Anything done to excess can be extremely dangerous. That is why self-restraint is so vital. An inability to control one’s physical appetites can lead to the sin of gluttony. And just a few verses later in this same Proverb, Solomon records yet another warning against excess.

Do not carouse with drunkards
    or feast with gluttons,
for they are on their way to poverty,
    and too much sleep clothes them in rags. – Proverbs 23:20-21 NLT

In his book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon recorded another dire warning against gluttony and the lack of self-control among those of privilege and power.

What sorrow for the land ruled by a servant,
    the land whose leaders feast in the morning.
Happy is the land whose king is a noble leader
    and whose leaders feast at the proper time
    to gain strength for their work, not to get drunk. – Ecclesiastes 10:16-17 NLT

An inordinate obsession with food and alcohol can be dangerous, but how much more so is the insatiable desire for wealth. Solomon knew that, for the well-to-do, enough was never enough. There would always be the temptation to acquire more. So, he warned his sons to moderate their appetite for accumulating ever-increasing wealth.

Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich.
    Be wise enough to know when to quit.
In the blink of an eye wealth disappears,
    for it will sprout wings
    and fly away like an eagle. – Proverbs 23:4-5 NLT

And Solomon was well-acquainted with the problem of avarice. He even wrote about his own struggle with dissatisfaction and his constant attempt to increase his portfolio of material possessions.

I also tried to find meaning by building huge homes for myself and by planting beautiful vineyards. I made gardens and parks, filling them with all kinds of fruit trees. I built reservoirs to collect the water to irrigate my many flourishing groves. I bought slaves, both men and women, and others were born into my household. I also owned large herds and flocks, more than any of the kings who had lived in Jerusalem before me. I collected great sums of silver and gold, the treasure of many kings and provinces. I hired wonderful singers, both men and women, and had many beautiful concubines. I had everything a man could desire! – Ecclesiastes 2:4-8 NLT

And his assessment of his never-ending quest for more was far from optimistic.

Anything I wanted, I would take. I denied myself no pleasure. I even found great pleasure in hard work, a reward for all my labors. But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere. – Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 NLT

Chasing after wealth can be exhausting. It’s like running on a treadmill; no matter how hard or fast you run, you never really get anywhere. More wealth doesn’t bring increased happiness. Riches can never deliver satisfaction or contentment. And yet, Solomon understood the temptation to make much out of acquiring more – of just about anything. So, he warned his sons that the failure to control one’s desires for power, prominence, and pleasure could be a dangerous and deadly trap.

And, along with curbing their appetites, they were going to need to manage their relationships well. They would need to develop discernment and become adept at judging the character of others. The world is full of people who will feign politeness and hospitality but all the while their intentions will be less-than-sincere.

Don’t eat with people who are stingy;
    don’t desire their delicacies.
They are always thinking about how much it costs.
    “Eat and drink,” they say, but they don’t mean it.
You will throw up what little you’ve eaten,
    and your compliments will be wasted. – Proverbs 23:6-8 NLT

Solomon describes the highly unpleasant experience of dining with someone whose overtures of kindness are nothing more than poorly veiled hypocrisy. They put on an impressive display of hospitality but the whole while they are counting the cost to their bottom line. Their false show of hospitableness is nothing but a ruse and enough to make one sick. The whole affair will end up being a waste of time and energy.

Next, Solomon warns his sons against associating with fools. Not only should they avoid the company of fools, but they should also refrain from trying to correct their behavior.

Don’t waste your breath on fools,
    for they will despise the wisest advice. – Proverbs 23:9 NLT

In a sense, Solomon is saying, “Save your breath!” A fool has no desire to hear what you have to say and no intention of putting your advice into practice. So, don’t waste your time.

With the next wise saying, Solomon revisits a topic he has already covered: The illegal and unethical movement of property boundary markers.

Don’t cheat your neighbor by moving the ancient boundary markers;
    don’t take the land of defenseless orphans.
For their Redeemer is strong;
    he himself will bring their charges against you. – Proverbs 23:10-11 NLT

It is almost as if Solomon is giving his sons an example of someone who is acting like a fool. He is telling them, “Don’t be this guy.” He wants them to understand that there are certain laws that God has established that are not up for negotiation or debate. To act like a fool is to ignore the word of God and to behave as if His laws don’t apply to you. But Solomon warns that God will hold all men accountable for their actions.

Solomon doesn’t want his sons to be fools, gluttons, greedy, or ungodly. That’s why he pleads with them to listen to the words of wisdom he is sharing. He wants them to take these truths to heart and apply them to their lives.

Commit yourself to instruction;
    listen carefully to words of knowledge. – Proverbs 23:12 NLT

They were to never stop learning and growing. And they were to take what they had learned from their father and pass it on to their own children. But knowledge alone would not be enough. There would come a time for discipline because children can be stubborn and disobedient.

Don’t fail to discipline your children.
    The rod of punishment won’t kill them.
Physical discipline
    may well save them from death. – Proverbs 23:13-14 NLT

And, as Solomon stated in Proverbs 3, the model for this kind of loving instruction comes from God the Father.

My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline,
    and don’t be upset when he corrects you.
For the Lord corrects those he loves,
    just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. – Proverbs 3:11-12 NLT

And as a loving father, Solomon conveyed his desire that his sons would continue to grow in wisdom and integrity.

My child, if your heart is wise,
    my own heart will rejoice!
Everything in me will celebrate
    when you speak what is right. – Proverbs 23:15-16 NLT

He longed for each of them to become godly men whose lives displayed wisdom and discernment. His great wealth and power were nothing when compared with the hope of seeing his sons exhibit a love for and obedience to God. His greatest desire was that his sons would choose the right path – the one that leads to joy, fulfillment, and purpose.

Choose a good reputation over great riches;
    being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold. – Proverbs 22:1 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Be Wary of Wealth.

Proverbs 23

"Don't wear yourself out trying to get rich. Be wise enough to know when to quit. In the blink of an eye wealth disappears, for it will sprout wings and fly away like an eagle.” – Proverbs 23:4-5 NLT

It was the apostle Paul who warned his protege Timothy, "Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows" (1 Timothy 10:6-10 NLT). There are probably no other words of biblical advice and counsel that have been overlooked and ignored quite as much as these. Especially in modern American culture. We are a country that prides itself on its affluence and its ability to produce wealth. It's the American way, the American dream. Money and material things are how we judge our worth and measure our success. And as a result, we live in the land of discontentment. We are constantly bombarded with advertisements and marketing campaigns that tell us what we have is not enough. We need more. We need bigger and better. We need new. We need what everyone else has. We need what we can't afford. So we work harder and harder to buy things we don't really need. Or we go into debt to get our hands on things that we think will make us happier. Only to find that our dream turns into a nightmare of monthly payments that last far longer than whatever it was we purchased.

But Solomon and Paul both warn us against wearing ourselves out on getting rich. Solomon reminds us of the proven fact that wealth can disappear in a heartbeat. We can lose it all in no time and find ourselves back to where we were. Riches are unreliable. Wealth if a fair weather friend. Paul goes even further. He gives us the bad news that we can't take our riches with us when we die. It stays here when we go. So even if we manage to keep our hands on it in this life, it won't be going with us into the next one. So Paul encourages us to learn contentment. He advises us to be satisfied with what we have, even if what we have is less than what the world tells us we deserve. Discontentment has a voracious appetite. It is like a monster living inside us that you can't feed enough to ever satisfy. It constantly desires more and more. We can find ourselves becoming discontent with something new we bought within minutes of purchasing it. We are constantly suffering buyer's remorse, not so much because we shouldn't have bought what we did, but because we found something else we wanted even more. Listen to Paul's warning again: "But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil" (1 Timothy 6:9-10 NLT). Longing to be rich, dreaming of more, desiring greater wealth – can leave us trapped by our own foolish and harmful desires. We become driven by what we want. We can become obsessed by our desire for more. Our love of money can tempt us to do all kinds of things that are ungodly, unrighteous, and unhealthy for our spiritual well-being.

When all is said and done, Solomon would encourage us to pursue wisdom, understanding, godliness and the character of God Himself. Riches are little more than a poor substitute for what God wants to offer us. They tease us with promises of fulfillment, satisfaction, security, and yes, even contentment. But no amount of money will ever deliver what only God can provide. Which is exactly why Paul tells Timothy, "But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness" (1 Timothy 10:11 NLT). Now that's advice you can take to the bank and count on.

Father, riches are so subtle. They are so alluring and tempting. But contentment needs to be my goal. I want to learn to live with what I have and be satisfied with You. I can so easily find myself believing the lie that more is better. That money can meet my needs. That wealth can satisfy and solve all my problems. But only You can do those things. Money can be such a distraction. All the stuff I own can end up owning me. Open my eyes to the reality of the situation and help me be wary of wealth. Amen.

The True Joy of Parenting.

Proverbs 23

"The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise. So give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy..” – Proverbs 23:24-25 NLT

Having been blessed with six wonderful children, Julie and I can say from experience that parenting is filled with all kinds of joy. We have experienced so much laughter and shared so many memories. And we continue to do so, even as they each grow older and move out from under our wings. Our children have made us laugh and smile. They have brought us so much happiness over the last 30-plus years that it seems that the time has literally flown by. But the older I get, the more I realize that the greatest joy any child can bring their parent is to turn out well. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, we want to see our children succeed in life. We want to see them as mature, healthy, whole adults. But as a parent who loves Christ, I know that the standard for success is not up to me. It has little to do with degree plans, career paths, car models or the neighborhood my child ends up living in. No, I know that the measure of success has much more to do with the heart, and it directly tied to their relationship with God. As a 57-year-old father of six, I am far less interested that my children make a lot of money, live in beautiful homes, or make six-figure incomes. While the world may say that is the measure of success, I have seen far too many individuals who have all that and more, live miserable, unhappy lives. They have achieved worldly success and missed out on what was truly important. Which is why Solomon says, "The father of godly children has cause for joy" (Proverbs 23:24a NLT). That man has a reason to rejoice. His children have turned out well. They have chosen to seek after and serve God. And as a result, they are wise. Solomon qualifies what a godly child looks like. "What a pleasure to have children who are wise" (Proverbs 23:24b NLT). You see, godliness and wisdom go hand in hand, because wisdom is a gift from God. Over in Proverbs 2, Solomon makes it clear, "For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest" (Proverbs 2:6-6 NLT). A wise child is one who has sought God. He has recognized that true wisdom is only available from one place, God. He has learned to make the pursuit of godly wisdom his highest priority. And he learned it from watching his own parents. He has grown up in a home where his parents sought the wisdom of God on a daily basis and lived it out in their daily lives. It was a full-time pastime for them. And it resulted in wisdom. Because as they sought the wisdom of God FROM God, He placed it directly into their hearts. "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy" (Proverbs 2:10 NLT). God places His wisdom into our hearts and gives us the capacity to live wisely. We end up making wise, godly choices. We parent more wisely. We model marriage in front of our kids more wisely. We reveal a dependency on God that shows our children that this life is only lived in His strength and according to His terms, not ours.

As a parent, I long to see each of my children living wise, godly lives. While I want them to enjoy financial success, I know that it cannot bring them joy. No career will ever really fulfill them. No spouse will ever make them truly happy. If they lack the wisdom of God that allows them to see life through His eyes. So like Solomon, I plead with my children, "give me your heart. May your eyes take delight in following my ways" (Proverbs 23:26 NLT). But even as I type those words, I shudder, because it makes me realize how dangerous it is to invite your own children to follow YOUR ways. If they do as you do, will they end up wise? If they follow your example, will they become godly? Parenting is a great privilege and it carries tremendous responsibility. As the old saying goes, when it comes to raising children, "More is caught than taught." They are constantly watching us, evaluating us, and copying our behavior. My wife has a favorite saying she has used over the years, and it is usually directed at me when my behavior has been less than appropriate in front of our children. She simple says, "What parents do in moderation, children do to excess." In other words, those little acts of selfishness, indiscretion, inappropriateness, and ungodliness are lived out in the lives of our kids, but usually with a certain lack of discernment. They take it to the next level. They model our actions and end up living unwise, ungodly lives. So if I want to be the father of godly children, I must be a godly father. If I want to have wise children, I must pursue the wisdom of God and live it out in my home. Children are a blessing. Godly children are a joy. But they don't just happen. It takes a constant pursuit of and dependence upon God.

Father, I so want to see my children living wise and godly lives as adults. I want them completely reliant upon You for all that they do. I have made a lot of mistakes over the years. I have not always modeled godliness well. But thank You for Your grace and forgiveness. Help me to use the time I have left to model the life of wisdom and godliness well, because we are never really done parenting. Amen.