Loving Others. Not Self.

Am I not free? Am I not an apostle? Have I not seen Jesus our Lord? Are not you my workmanship in the Lord? If to others I am not an apostle, at least I am to you, for you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord.

This is my defense to those who would examine me. Do we not have the right to eat and drink? Do we not have the right to take along a believing wife, as do the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas? Or is it only Barnabas and I who have no right to refrain from working for a living? Who serves as a soldier at his own expense? Who plants a vineyard without eating any of its fruit? Or who tends a flock without getting some of the milk? – 1 Corinthians 9:1-7 ESV

While Paul was on the issue of rights and the Christian’s need to die to them, he took the opportunity to address his rights as an apostle. There were evidently those in Corinth who were questioning if he really was an apostle at all. Others may have been by confused by some of Paul’s actions, because at times he did not appear to behave as an apostle. Some of this had to do with how Paul had handled himself when he had ministered among the the Corinthians. Rather than allow the Corinthians to meet all his financial needs and provide him with food and shelter, Paul and Barnabas had chosen to work (Acts 18:3). Evidently, other apostles, like Peter, had a reputation for bringing their wives with them while doing ministry and the churches were expected to cover their expenses as well. Paul didn’t fall into this category because he had no wife. But Paul’s point is that he had every right to expect the Corinthians to care for him while he was ministering among them. And if he had been married, he would have had the right to bring his wife with him and expect the church to pay her way. But Paul didn’t do those things. And yet that did not make him any less an apostle of Jesus Christ. He met the criteria. First of all, he had seen the risen Lord and had been commissioned by Him to take the gospel to the Gentiles. He was every bit an apostle as much as Peter, James or John. And the Corinthians themselves were living proof of his apostleship, because their lives had been changed because of his ministry.

Paul gives three illustrations from daily life to prove his right to expect compensation and care from the Corinthians. First of all, he uses the example of a soldier. No member of the military is expected to pay his own way. He serves on behalf of the people, giving his time and, if necessary, his life in defense of his nation. In return, the citizens of that nation pay his salary and supply his needs for food, clothing and shelter. It is a mutually beneficial arrangement. The second illustration Paul uses is that of a farmer and his vineyard. No farmer in his right mind would plant a vineyard and not expect to benefit from the fruit that it yields. He is the one who tilled the soil, planted the vines and harvested the grapes. As a result, he had every right to enjoy the fruits of his labors. The final illustration Paul gives is the shepherd. To deny a shepherd the benefit of the milk his flocks provide would be ludicrous and unfair. He is the one who has provided for and protected the sheep, keeping them well-fed and safe, so he should be the one who enjoys some of the benefits of his hard work.

As we will see a little later on in this same chapter, the main concern Paul had was not regarding his rights but about the integrity of the gospel. His primary goal was that the gospel not be hindered in any way. That is why he and Barnabas had chosen to work rather than demanding their rights and expecting the Corinthians to pay their way. These two men did not want the Corinthians to resent their presence or reject the gospel because of a financial burden. So they willingly gave up their rights. Remember, this goes back to chapter eight and Paul’s warnings about those in the church who were allowing their “knowledge” of right and wrong to cause their brothers and sisters in Christ to stumble. They were allowing their rights to cause them to do wrong. And Paul was simply using himself as an illustration of how dying to one’s rights is the right thing to do some times.

At the core of the gospel is the message of love – God’s love for mankind. He sent His Son to die in the place of sinful men and women, out of love. Jesus had told His disciples that they were to “love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12 ESV). In the very next verse, Jesus gave what He believed to be was the greatest expression of love for another human being. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13 ESV). And in keeping with His teaching, Jesus would do just that, giving His life as the consummate expression of His love for mankind. The apostle John wrote, “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers” (1 John 3:12 ESV). And that was Paul’s primary point in his letter to the Corinthians. Just as Paul had been willing to give up his rights and lay down his life for them, he was expecting them to do the same. The gospel is not about rights, but about righteousness. It is about dying to self and living for God, which means loving those whom He has made in His image. God did not save us to make us isolated islands of self-righteousness where our rights rule the day. He saved us so that we might die to self and live for Him. And one of the best ways we can express our love for God is by loving those around us, sharing the gospel message of reconciliation in both words and actions. Jesus Himself made it perfectly clear and simple: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 15:35 ESV).

Her Holiness vs Your Happiness.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV Wives are to submit to their husbands. Not exactly a popular topic among most women today. It sounds so archaic. It comes across as demeaning and dismissive of women. But we must remember that this entire section of Paul’s letter was calling all believers to submit to one another out of reverence to Christ. His reference to wives and husbands was simply a practical application of what that would like in real life. But the one thing we miss in this whole discussion of submission is the inter-relatedness of it that God intends. In God’s divine plan, submission was not intended to be a one-way affair. Yes, wives were expected to submit to their husbands, but notice that Paul calls husbands to love their wives. And here is the important distinction: As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. There is an inferred expectation of sacrifice and selflessness involved in the kind of love Paul is describing. It is other-oriented. It is a love that suppresses its own rights and desires for the well-being of another. But, interestingly enough, Paul goes on to describe this kind of love as a form of self-love, because “husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28 ESV). For the husband, there is no me versus her. In God’s eyes, his very existence is permanently is linked to that of his wife. That is why Jesus taught, “‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Mark 10:6-9 NLT).

The husband is to give to his wife the same value that he gives to his own life. She is a part of him. He is to love her as he loves his own body. He is to nourish and cherish her – in the same way that Christ does the church. Christ not only sacrificed His life for the church, He constantly intercedes on Her behalf. Even now, His full attention is focused on the church. Paul tells us, “Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us” (Romans 8:34 NLT). Paul then goes on to ask, “Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love?” (Romans 8:35 NLT). And the answer is meant to be a resounding, “No!” And in the same way, there is nothing that should be able to separate the love of a husband for his wife. Nothing she says or does should cause him to fall out of love with her. Now that is a tall order and a high expectation. Not only that, but the husband is to make it his goal in life to sanctify his wife – sometimes in spite of her and without her full cooperation. Even when she refuses to submit to him, he is to sanctify her.

But what does Paul mean when he calls husbands to sanctify their wives? Isn't that the job of the Spirit of God? Paul is using Christ’s love for the church as an illustration of the kind of love men are to have for the wives. Christ gave Himself up for the church. He died so that the church might be sanctified, set apart and made holy. Earlier in his letter, Paul wrote that God “blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him” (Ephesians 1:3-4 ESV). God’s desire was our holiness. Jesus made that possible by His sacrificial death. So as husbands, our goal should be the holiness of our wives. God has appointed us as husbands so that we might help fulfill His desire that our wives be holy, set apart of Him.

Paul says that Christ cleansed the church by the washing of water with the word. The word refers to the gospel, the good news about salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. Every believer who places their faith in Christ based on the gospel message, is washed clean from their sins. Water baptism is a statement of that reality as the believer is lowered into the water and symbolically “cleansed” from their sins. The emphasis in verses 26 is sanctification. It is not a command for men to read the Word over their wives as if in doing so they somehow cleanse their wives. Jesus’ death on the cross is what provided their cleansing from sin. The point Paul seems to be making is that Jesus gave Himself up “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:27 ESV). In the same way, the husband is to choose give himself up for the spiritual edification of his wife. Her holiness is to be his highest priority. He should want for her life what Jesus Himself gave Himself to make possible.

Submission is difficult. Our natural inclination is to refuse any thought of submitting ourselves to another. Loving like Christ loved is a formidable task, and goes against our natural disposition toward self-centeredness and self-preservation. But we have to remember that Paul is calling us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Ephesians 4:1 ESV). He is calling us to “put off your old self…and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22,24 ESV). He is commanding us to “walk in love, as Christ loved us” (Ephesians 5:2 ESV), as children of light (Ephesians 5:8). Marriage is one of the primary venues God has chosen for all of this to take place. And it is intended by God to be a constant illustration of Christ and His love relationship with the church. His sacrificial love and the church’s obedient submission, working in unison to accomplish God’s will. So Paul writes, “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:22 ESV). For our good and God’s glory, and as a living testimony of our calling as children of God.

No Room Or Reason For Pride.

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. – Romans 12:3-8 ESV Paul has spent the entire letter up to this point defending man's justification based on the grace and goodness of God, not human effort. Both Jews and Gentiles are made right with God the same way – through faith in Christ alone. It is not based on heritage, race, background, income, achievement or any other human means of measurement. God has said, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion” (Romans 9:15 ESV). So Paul concludes, “then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy” (Romans 9:16 ESV). No one deserves God’s mercy. If we deserved it, it would no longer be mercy, because by definition, mercy is a choice, not an obligation. When Paul speaks of the mercy of God, he means “the mercy and clemency of God in providing and offering to men salvation by Christ” (“Greek Lexicon :: G1656 (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 21 Dec, 2015. <http://www.blueletterbible.orghttps://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm>). God’s mercy is undeserved. In fact, rather than giving us what we deserve, which is the essence of mercy, He gives us what we do NOT deserve: Grace, in the form of salvation and justification made possible through faith in His Son. And that grace is the work of God, not man. And Paul emphasizes that without God’s mercy, no man would ever experience a right relationship with Him. “For these is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is the Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:12-13 ESV).

So there is no reason for anyone to think more highly of himself. The Gentiles were not to become prideful because God had taken away the message of salvation from the Jews and given it to them. The Jewish believers were not to boast in their heritage as descendants of Abraham. None of that mattered. Instead, each was to “think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned” (Romans 12:3 ESV). Our place in the body of Christ is not based on the amount of faith we conjure up. It is not a competition and it not intended to be a comparison. We are in Christ because of the mercy and grace of God. We have been placed in the body of Christ by God, each “having gifts that differ according to the grace give to us” (Romans 12:6 ESV). Even our spiritual gifts have been given to us by God. We didn’t bring them with us. Spiritual gifts are not human abilities on steroids. They are supernatural enablements, provided by the Spirit of God. And they are intended for the building up of the body of Christ. Paul told the Ephesian believers that God “makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” (Ephesians 4:16 NLT).

Our gifts are given to us by the grace of God, and we are to use them humbly and selflessly. They are given to us by God, not to boost our egos or inflate our sense of self-worth, but to build up the body of Christ. In the church in Corinth, Paul had to deal with a misuse and misunderstanding of the spiritual gifts, where they had turned them into badges of honor. The various gifts had become divisive, with members of the church bragging over the particular gifts that they had. Paul had to sternly remind them, “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:7 ESV). Every one of them had a spiritual gift “empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills” (1 Corinthians 12:11 ESV). There was no reason to boast or brag. In fact, “God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body” (1 Corinthians 12:18-20 ESV).

Our salvation is the work of God. Our right standing before God is the result of His mercy, not our merit. Our place in the body of Christ was determined by Him, not us. Our spiritual gift was given to us by His Spirit and intended for the building up of the body of Christ. There is nothing about our relationship with Christ or our place in His family for which we have a right to boast. We should use our gifts “according to the grace given to us.” A recognition of God’s grace should always motivate our actions and attitudes. Like the psalmist, we should daily remind ourselves, “Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture” (Psalm 100:3 ESV). Not because we deserved it. But because of His marvelous grace.