The Suffering Need God, Not Guilt

1 Then Zophar the Naamathite answered and said:

2 “Should a multitude of words go unanswered,
    and a man full of talk be judged right?
3 Should your babble silence men,
    and when you mock, shall no one shame you?
4 For you say, ‘My doctrine is pure,
    and I am clean in God's eyes.’
5 But oh, that God would speak
    and open his lips to you,
6 and that he would tell you the secrets of wisdom!
    For he is manifold in understanding.
Know then that God exacts of you less than your guilt deserves.

7 “Can you find out the deep things of God?
    Can you find out the limit of the Almighty?
8 It is higher than heaven—what can you do?
    Deeper than Sheol—what can you know?
9 Its measure is longer than the earth
    and broader than the sea.
10 If he passes through and imprisons
    and summons the court, who can turn him back?
11 For he knows worthless men;
    when he sees iniquity, will he not consider it?
12 But a stupid man will get understanding
    when a wild donkey's colt is born a man!

13 “If you prepare your heart,
    you will stretch out your hands toward him.
14 If iniquity is in your hand, put it far away,
    and let not injustice dwell in your tents.
15 Surely then you will lift up your face without blemish;
    you will be secure and will not fear.
16 You will forget your misery;
    you will remember it as waters that have passed away.
17 And your life will be brighter than the noonday;
    its darkness will be like the morning.
18 And you will feel secure, because there is hope;
    you will look around and take your rest in security.
19 You will lie down, and none will make you afraid;
    many will court your favor.
20 But the eyes of the wicked will fail;
    all way of escape will be lost to them,
    and their hope is to breathe their last.” – Job 11:1-22 ESV

After Job finished his gloomy response to Bildad’s less-than-encouraging speech, he had to hear from the third friend who had been waiting in the wings and eagerly biding his time until he could put in his two cents. And Zophar wasted no time in delivering a stinging indictment against Job, filled with carefully worded one-liners that he hoped would shake his friend out of his self-righteous self-denial and force him to confess his obvious guilt.

Zophar, like his friends before him, had taken a look at Job's circumstances and concluded that Job had done something terribly wrong. He was being punished by God for his sins and all Job had to do was confess and change his behavior. According to Zophar, if Job follows his advice, God will forgive and restore him.

Sounds great, but there's only one problem. Job is innocent. He has done nothing wrong to deserve all that has happened to him. He has done nothing of which to repent. He is confused, hurt, alone, and suffering from unimaginable grief. And all he gets from his friends is accusations of his guilt.

Zophar takes the rhetoric to a whole new level, accusing Job of being deceitful, evil, and witless.

"Surely he [God] recognizes deceitful men; and when he sees evil, does he not take note? But a witless man can no more become wise than a wild donkey’s colt can be born a man." – Job 11:11-12 NIV

In Zophar's mind, Job is nothing more than a dimwitted, stubborn sinner who refuses to admit his guilt. In Zophar's world, all pain and suffering were tied to sin. Righteous men don't suffer. Good men don't lose all their worldly wealth. Sinless men don't have all their kids killed in a single freak accident. Therefore, Job was NOT a righteous man. Case closed.

But once again, Zophar didn't have all the facts. He was operating off of conjecture and faulty conclusions. The one thing he should have known or at least assumed is that God is in control. But the issue was not whether God had caused what had happened to Job; it was that God was aware and that He cared. Zophar would have been much more helpful if he had simply reminded Job that only God knew the real reason behind his suffering. He should have counseled Job to take his situation to God because only He could provide answers and assistance. The simple truth is that if Job had sinned, God would reveal it to him. If Job was innocent, God would ultimately disclose the reason behind his suffering. Bottom line? There was a purpose behind it all, and God was the key to discovering that purpose.

But instead, Zophar continued to berate and belittle his friend, accusing him of mocking God with his false claims of innocence. Zophar was completely convinced that Job was an unabashed liar who refused to acknowledge his obvious guilt. And he is so self-assured in his assessment that he has the audacity to tell Job, “Listen! God is doubtless punishing you far less than you deserve!” (Job 11:6 NLT). His analysis of the situation has produced an iron-clad guilty verdict.

Zophar had reached what to him was a logical conclusion. God was all-wise and could see into the lives of all men. There was nothing hidden from His sight. While Job’s life had given the outward appearance of righteousness, it must have contained hidden secrets of which only God was aware. Now God was exposing Job’s sins by inflicting judgment.

“If God comes and puts a person in prison
    or calls the court to order, who can stop him?
11 For he knows those who are false,
    and he takes note of all their sins.” – Job 11:10-11 NLT

Convinced that his conclusion was the right one, all Zophar could recommend was repentance.

“If only you would prepare your heart
    and lift up your hands to him in prayer!
Get rid of your sins,
    and leave all iniquity behind you.” – Job 11:13 NLT

But Zophar couldn’t see into Job’s heart. He had no way of knowing what Job had done or said that might have led to his fall from grace. In fact, he had no proof whatsoever that Job had done anything worthy of God’s judgment. Yet, on nothing more than flimsy facts and faulty conclusions, he labeled his friend as a babbler and an empty-headed person. When Job needed love, Zophar delivered demeaning labels and callous calls to repent or suffer further judgment from the hand of God.

But despite all his pain, Job knew that God was there. He called out to Him. He appealed to Him. He acknowledged that God had created him (Job 10:8-9). But Job was confused. He clung to his innocence but was having a hard time understanding why he was having to endure all this pain. He was going through a terrible time of questioning and doubt. He needed comfort and all he got was caustic counseling from those who claimed to be his friends. He needed empathy but all he got was impatient demands that he confess his hidden sins.

Job's suffering was so intense that he longed for death. At this point in his life, he needed friends who would point him to the mercy, grace, and sovereign power of God. He needed guides to God, not the grand inquisition. He needed to be reminded that God loves him, not loathes him. The only remedy for anyone's pain and heartache is God. We need to point them to Him.

When darkness falls
Temptations call
And all around me seems undone
You hear my pleas
Supply my needs
And tell me of Your wondrous love

You are the joy in my morning
You’re my song of praise
Just like the new day dawning
Flooding my world with grace

Though trials come
And every one
Can take me further from Your truth
You calm my fears
Dry all my tears
And draw me closer, Lord, to You

In You there’s no shadow of turning
Constant in all Your ways
You’re growing my faith
And I’m learning to lean
On You all of my days

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Ministries

Reading the words of Zophar reminds me that I need to be a friend who points others to God, instead of always trying to point out their faults or their sins. He alone knows their hearts, and only He can diagnose their condition and heal their hurts. I am simply a guide who can point them to God as they wander in the darkness of their circumstance.

The other lesson to be learned from this passage is to take my pain and suffering to God. In the midst of the pain that enters my own life, I should always turn to Him first. And when I find that difficult to do, I pray that God will bring friends into my life who will remind me of His love, grace, and mercy.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Discomfiting Comfort of Well-Meaning Friends

1 Then Bildad the Shuhite answered and said:

2 “How long will you say these things,
    and the words of your mouth be a great wind?
3 Does God pervert justice?
    Or does the Almighty pervert the right?
4 If your children have sinned against him,
    he has delivered them into the hand of their transgression.
5 If you will seek God
    and plead with the Almighty for mercy,
6 if you are pure and upright,
    surely then he will rouse himself for you
    and restore your rightful habitation.
7 And though your beginning was small,
    your latter days will be very great.

8 “For inquire, please, of bygone ages,
    and consider what the fathers have searched out.
9 For we are but of yesterday and know nothing,
    for our days on earth are a shadow.
10 Will they not teach you and tell you
    and utter words out of their understanding?

11 “Can papyrus grow where there is no marsh?
    Can reeds flourish where there is no water?
12 While yet in flower and not cut down,
    they wither before any other plant.
13 Such are the paths of all who forget God;
    the hope of the godless shall perish.
14 His confidence is severed,
    and his trust is a spider's web.
15 He leans against his house, but it does not stand;
    he lays hold of it, but it does not endure.
16 He is a lush plant before the sun,
    and his shoots spread over his garden.
17 His roots entwine the stone heap;
    he looks upon a house of stones.
18 If he is destroyed from his place,
    then it will deny him, saying, ‘I have never seen you.’
19 Behold, this is the joy of his way,
    and out of the soil others will spring.

20 “Behold, God will not reject a blameless man,
    nor take the hand of evildoers.
21 He will yet fill your mouth with laughter,
    and your lips with shouting.
22 Those who hate you will be clothed with shame,
    and the tent of the wicked will be no more.” – Job 8:1-22 ESV

Job’s impassioned plea to his friends fell on deaf ears. Like a contestant on a professional wrestling tag team, Eliphaz turned over the task of attacking Job to his partner, Bildad, who enters the ring with an abundance of energy and a lot to say.

He immediately picks up where Eliphaz left off, accusing Job of sinning against God. In his opinion, Job was an obstinate apostate who stubbornly refused to confess his sin and was suffering the consequences. From his perspective, Job was nothing more than a belligerent windbag whose persistent claims of innocence were a direct attack on God’s justice and integrity. Bildad even had the audacity to suggest that the deaths of Job’s adult children were the result of their own sins. They simply got what they deserved.

“How long will you go on like this?
    You sound like a blustering wind.
Does God twist justice?
    Does the Almighty twist what is right?
Your children must have sinned against him,
    so their punishment was well deserved.” – Job 8:2-4 NLT

Imagine yourself in Job's sandals. How would you have handled all that had happened to this man? He had lost everything, including his health, and now he was being "comforted" by his friends. They have looked at the circumstances of Job's life and logically but, wrongfully, concluded that it was all a result of sin – the sins of his children as well as his own.

In the middle of a tremendous time of pain, loss, and suffering, Job finds himself having to defend himself against the attacks of his closest friends. They meant well and their conclusions seem logical and even biblical at times, but in their zeal to assess Job’s guilt, they seem to have overlooked a few of God’s character qualities. They stress His justice but leave out His mercy. They portray God as vindictive and wrathful but ignore his love and grace. Their view of God is rather one-dimensional and, as a result, inaccurate. Whether they realize it or not, they have placed God in a box of their own making. They have worked out their own theology of God and allowed it to determine their interpretation of the world.

Bildad begins his counseling session with Job with a rhetorical question, "Does God twist justice? Does the Almighty twist what is right?" (Job 8:3 MSG). Of course, the answer is no, so this led Bildad to conclude that Job’s circumstances were the result of a just and righteous God justly dealing with Job's unrighteousness. To Bildad, it seemed like the only logical conclusion.

Job's assumed guilt is what drives the messages of each of his friends. But this begs the question: Was Job sinless? Again, the answer is no. He was a man living in a fallen world. Yet God declared him to be blameless.

The LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil." – Job 1:8 NASB

God was not declaring Job to be without sin. He was commending Job’s faithfulness. From God’s perspective, Job was a man of integrity and moral excellence who strived to live in a way that demonstrated his fear and reverence for the Lord.

Yet something tragic had taken place in this man's life. He had suffered tremendous loss, and Job's friends could only conclude that it was all the result of sin. And they are partially right. Virtually everything that happens in this world is the result of sin. It is a direct consequence of what theologians like to call “the fall.” When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, they paved the way for sin to enter the world and infect the human race.

When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. – Romans  12:12 NLT

As a result, we live in a fallen world where sin reigns and even the creation is impacted by the presence of sin. Disasters happen. Earthquakes take place. Wildfires consume thousands of acres and hundreds of lives. And every person living on the planet is exposed to the effects of the fall. Good men and evil men all suffer. Righteous men get cancer. Godly women lose children. Faithful Christ-followers lose their jobs. Innocent children are born into abusive homes. That is life in a fallen world. In his commentary on the Book of Job, John Gill states, "Job's view in saying this is to observe, that a man's state God-ward is not to be judged of by his outward circumstances, whether he is a good man or a bad man, since they may both be in the same afflictions and distress, and which he opposes to the sentiments and sayings of Eliphaz and Bildad."

We can't judge based on circumstances alone. Yet that is exactly what Bildad was doing. His advice to Job was predicated on Job’s admission of guilt and his need for confession. If Job only humbled himself and asked for God’s forgiveness, all would be restored.

“But if you pray to God
    and seek the favor of the Almighty,
and if you are pure and live with integrity,
    he will surely rise up and restore your happy home.” – Job 8:5-6 NLT

God had already recognized and commended Job for his integrity and blamelessness, but Bildad seemed to know better. He had wrongly assumed that all tragedy and sorrow were the direct result of personal sin; not just the presence of sin in the world. 

Bildad pulls no punches and dares to describe his friend as godless and of being guilty of forgetting God. As far as Bildad could tell, Job was a fairweather God-follower who remained faithful as long as God blessed him with wealth and health. He viewed Job as an opportunist who sought a relationship with God only for what he could get out of it.

“The hopes of the godless evaporate.
Their confidence hangs by a thread.
    They are leaning on a spider’s web.
They cling to their home for security, but it won’t last.
    They try to hold it tight, but it will not endure.” – Job 8:13-15 NLT

Now that Job had no home in which to live, no family to love, and no semblance of health on which to rely, Bildad believed he was exposed as a fraud and a fake. He had only appeared to be blessed by God. But his problem-free world had been rocked by God and he had been brought to his knees.

“The godless seem like a lush plant growing in the sunshine,
    its branches spreading across the garden.
Its roots grow down through a pile of stones;
    it takes hold on a bed of rocks.
But when it is uprooted,
    it’s as though it never existed!” – Job 8:16-18 NLT

According to the “wisdom” of Bildad, all Job had to do was stop arguing and start confessing. He truly believed that Job had a serious pride problem and it was the source of all his problems. Once he confessed, everything would turn around.

“But look, God will not reject a person of integrity,
    nor will he lend a hand to the wicked.
He will once again fill your mouth with laughter
    and your lips with shouts of joy.
Those who hate you will be clothed with shame,
    and the home of the wicked will be destroyed.” – Job 8:20-22 NLT 

For Bildad, it was a simple black-and-white matter; Job was wicked and needed to be righteous. His lack of integrity had left him devoid of joy and laughter. His shame was his own fault. His destruction had been well-deserved.

But Bildad’s confidence didn’t make him right. In fact, he was woefully wrong and completely off-base in his assessment of Job’s situation. Yet Job's greatest dilemma was that he couldn't defend himself. He knew he was innocent. He was convinced that he had done nothing to deserve this kind of suffering. But how could he prove it? Who was he to argue with God? But he was more than willing to argue with Bildad. Unwilling to sit back and listen to the condemning rhetoric of his friend, Job prepared to give Bildad a piece of his mind and a primer on the sovereignty of God.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Good advice, well-timed, produces the best outcomes

14 “He who withholds kindness from a friend
    forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
15 My brothers are treacherous as a torrent-bed,
    as torrential streams that pass away,
16 which are dark with ice,
    and where the snow hides itself.
17 When they melt, they disappear;
    when it is hot, they vanish from their place.
18 The caravans turn aside from their course;
    they go up into the waste and perish.
19 The caravans of Tema look,
    the travelers of Sheba hope.
20 They are ashamed because they were confident;
    they come there and are disappointed.
21 For you have now become nothing;
    you see my calamity and are afraid.
22 Have I said, ‘Make me a gift’?
    Or, ‘From your wealth offer a bribe for me’?
23 Or, ‘Deliver me from the adversary's hand’?
    Or, ‘Redeem me from the hand of the ruthless’?

24 “Teach me, and I will be silent;
    make me understand how I have gone astray.
25 How forceful are upright words!
    But what does reproof from you reprove?
26 Do you think that you can reprove words,
    when the speech of a despairing man is wind?
27 You would even cast lots over the fatherless,
    and bargain over your friend.

28 “But now, be pleased to look at me,
    for I will not lie to your face.
29 Please turn; let no injustice be done.
    Turn now; my vindication is at stake.
30 Is there any injustice on my tongue?
    Cannot my palate discern the cause of calamity?” – Job 6:14-30 ESV

Job now turns his attention directly to Eliphaz and his as-yet silent companions. Their words have been anything but helpful or encouraging. At Job’s darkest moment in life, these men have shown up and made matters worse with their compassionless and self-righteous rhetoric. Job even accuses them of “withholding kindness” and demonstrating a total lack of fear or reverence for God. They are so confident in their assertion of Job’s guilt that they don’t even consider what God might have to say if they’re wrong.

When Job needed loyalty and moral support from his friends he got what he deemed to be treachery. The Hebrew word is בָּגַד (bāḡaḏ) and it conveys the idea of unfaithfulness or dealing with someone deceitfully. Job compares his friends to “a seasonal brook that overflows its banks in the spring when it is swollen with ice and melting snow. But when the hot weather arrives, the water disappears. The brook vanishes in the heat” (Job 6:15-17 NLT). In other words, they are unpredictable and unreliable. They show up at inopportune times, bringing destruction rather than comfort, and when they are needed for refreshment, they are dry as a bone. 

His friends have been an utter disappointment, bringing no hope or healing with their presence or words. In fact, Job finds them to be more fearful than faithful. By casting all the blame on Job and writing off his suffering as the sovereign hand of God, they seem to be trying to excuse themselves from providing him with any kind of financial aid or assistance. If they can rationalize his losses as divine judgment, they can declare themselves to be free from having to help him. Job seems to see through their self-centered analysis of the situation when he asks, “Have I ever asked you for a gift? Have I begged for anything of yours for myself? Have I asked you to rescue me from my enemies, or to save me from ruthless people?” (Job 6:22-23 NLT).

These men knew that Job was in dire straights financially. He had lost all his flocks and herds, leaving him with no means of making a living. And the funeral expenses for his ten deceased children must have taken a hit on his resources as well. But Job has not asked them for assistance. At no point has he requested that they lend him money or come to his aid with anything other than moral support. Job had not requested their presence; they had shown up of their own accord. But their arrival on the scene had only made matters worse.

So, in frustration, Job invites them to state their case plainly. He wants facts and not just flimsy accusations of guilt. He demands that they prove whatever crime they think he has committed. If they are going to put him on trial, he wants them to bring clear and compelling evidence. He assures them that he is willing to listen to what they have to say and will accept their conclusions, even if their verdict is painful to hear.

But Job writes off their words as nothing more than criticism. They have no evidence of wrongdoing because there is none. And while their lengthy diatribes may inflate their own ego, they do nothing to aid Job in his moment of need. In their desperate attempt to explain Job’s desperate circumstances, they have completely overlooked his desperation. They have shown a stunning lack of compassion and empathy.

Job begs his friends to give him the benefit of the doubt. All he asks for is an opportunity to state his case and defend his integrity, and he fully expects those who claim to be his friends to consider him innocent until proven guilty – not the other way around. But Eliphaz has set the precedent. His rush to judgment has unsettled Job and left him hurt and harboring anger and, sadly, it will encourage Job’s other friends to follow suit. Soon, they will join in the dog pile and add to the burden that Job has to bear. Instead of comfort, they will continue to criticize and critique. In the place of much-needed encouragement, they will divvy out large doses of blame and shame. And, over time, Job’s resentment will grow, and his feelings of isolation will increase to the point where he finds himself lashing out in anger, not only at his friends but at God.

What a timely reminder of the need for grace and mercy when dealing with those who are suffering. Eliphaz and his compatriots could have used the wisdom of Solomon.

Timely advice is lovely,
    like golden apples in a silver basket.

To one who listens, valid criticism
    is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry. – Proverbs 25:11-12 NLT

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! – Proverbs 15:23 NLT

Job’s friends had shown up at just the right time but were sharing all the wrong advice. They failed to read the room and properly gauge the mental state of their audience. They may have meant well but their methods were far from helpful. And Job was far from done when it came to his response.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

When Well-intended Words Become a Weapon

1 Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered and said:

2 “If one ventures a word with you, will you be impatient?
    Yet who can keep from speaking?
3 Behold, you have instructed many,
    and you have strengthened the weak hands.
4 Your words have upheld him who was stumbling,
    and you have made firm the feeble knees.
5 But now it has come to you, and you are impatient;
    it touches you, and you are dismayed.
6 Is not your fear of God your confidence,
    and the integrity of your ways your hope?

7 “Remember: who that was innocent ever perished?
    Or where were the upright cut off?
8 As I have seen, those who plow iniquity
    and sow trouble reap the same.
9 By the breath of God they perish,
    and by the blast of his anger they are consumed.
10 The roar of the lion, the voice of the fierce lion,
    the teeth of the young lions are broken.
11 The strong lion perishes for lack of prey,
    and the cubs of the lioness are scattered.”

12 “Now a word was brought to me stealthily;
    my ear received the whisper of it.
13 Amid thoughts from visions of the night,
    when deep sleep falls on men,
14 dread came upon me, and trembling,
    which made all my bones shake.
15 A spirit glided past my face;
    the hair of my flesh stood up.
16 It stood still,
    but I could not discern its appearance.
A form was before my eyes;
    there was silence, then I heard a voice:
17 ‘Can mortal man be in the right before God?
    Can a man be pure before his Maker?
18 Even in his servants he puts no trust,
    and his angels he charges with error;
19 how much more those who dwell in houses of clay,
    whose foundation is in the dust,
    who are crushed like the moth.
20 Between morning and evening they are beaten to pieces;
    they perish forever without anyone regarding it.
21 Is not their tent-cord plucked up within them,
    do they not die, and that without wisdom?’” – Job 4:1-21 ESV

We all have them – well-meaning friends who step alongside us during times of difficulty and seasons of suffering spouting sanctimonious sermonettes on our condition. They're the Scripture police who tend to quote passages they don't fully understand and draw conclusions based on scant information and little or no experience. These people don't intend to hurt anyone, but in their zeal to "encourage," they do more harm than good.

Job's friend, Eliphaz, was one of these types of individuals. In the midst of all of Job's grief and suffering, he shows up on the scene lobbing all kinds of theological and psychological hand grenades into Job's pity party. He has taken one look at Job's circumstances and reached a conclusion: Job is guilty of something. He has to be.

But Eliphaz prefaces his verbal barrage on his suffering friend with what appears to be a kind and gracious request to share his thoughts. He and his companions have completed a seven-day-long wake, where they sat by Job’s side as he mourned the deaths of his ten children and the loss of his entire economic empire. They sat in silence as their devastated friend attempted to heal from his deep emotional wounds while suffering from a debilitating and painful skin disease.

In time, Eliphaz grew impatient and decided it was time to speak. He had seen enough and was ready to help his friend come to grips with the real source of Job’s problems. Knowing that Job is in no mood to hear what he has to say, Eliphaz begs his friend to show patience as he shares his enlightened insights. Then, in a somewhat heavy-handed attempt to gain Job’s ear, Eliphaz flatters his suffering friend by recalling how Job had so often played the role of comforting counselor in the lives of others.

“In the past you have encouraged many people;
    you have strengthened those who were weak.
Your words have supported those who were falling;
    you encouraged those with shaky knees.” – Job 4:3-4 NLT

In a sense, Eliphaz is saying, “I’m only doing what you would do if the shoe was on the other foot.” Eliphaz is trying to prepare Job for the “truth bomb” he is about to drop. In the lengthy speech he has prepared, Eliphaz is going to share some things that Job is not going to want to hear. Eliphaz knows his words are going to be painful and difficult to accept but they need to be said, and he challenges Job to accept them like a man. 

He levels an accusation of duplicity, suggesting that Job has always been quick to hand out advice to his suffering friends but now that he is the one doing the suffering, he crumples like a house of cards.

“But now when trouble strikes, you lose heart.
    You are terrified when it touches you.” – Job 4:5 NLT

These words seem to echo the sentiments found in the Book of Proverbs.

An open rebuke
    is better than hidden love!

Wounds from a sincere friend
    are better than many kisses from an enemy. – Proverbs 27:5-6 NLT

The heartfelt counsel of a friend
is as sweet as perfume and incense. – Proverbs 27:9 NLT

As iron sharpens iron,
    so a friend sharpens a friend. – Proverbs 27:17 NLT

But friendship isn’t necessarily a guarantee of wise counsel. Well-intentioned friends can end up giving poor advice and questionable counsel. A close and intimate relationship doesn’t automatically qualify someone to serve as an infallible source of wisdom. Eliphaz meant well, and much of what he had to say contained a semblance of truth, but there was a great deal about Job’s situation to which he was ignorant.

From his limited vantage point, Eliphaz had come to certain conclusions regarding Job’s circumstances. From the outside looking in, he assessed the scene and determined the cause of Job’s suffering, and he validated his conclusions by spiritualizing them. He claims to have had a vision in the night.

“This truth was given to me in secret,
    as though whispered in my ear.
It came to me in a disturbing vision at night,
    when people are in a deep sleep.
Fear gripped me,
    and my bones trembled.
A spirit swept past my face,
    and my hair stood on end.
The spirit stopped, but I couldn’t see its shape.
    There was a form before my eyes.
In the silence I heard a voice…” – Job 4:12-16 NLT

Eliphaz doesn’t attribute this vision to Yahweh. He never claims to have received a word from God Almighty. He simply saw “a form” that whispered a cryptic message in his ear.

“Can a mortal be innocent before God?
    Can anyone be pure before the Creator?” – Job 4:17 NLT

Eliphaz heard a voice but he could not name its source. He had a vision but he had no way of knowing who this “spirit” was or whether the message was God-ordained. From his ethereal night encounter, Eliphaz built an entire case against Job. He wrongly concluded that Job must be guilty of something. Otherwise, why would he be suffering so much loss and pain?

In the second half of his speech, he draws the following conclusion:

"…evil does not spring from the soil, and trouble does not sprout from the earth. People are born for trouble as predictably as sparks fly upward from a fire." – Job 5:6-7 NLT

Bad things don't just happen. They're the result of bad choices made by individuals. In other words, you reap what you sow. And Job must have sown some really wild oats at some point in his past. Eliphaz admits that Job was a pretty good guy. He had been an encouragement to a lot of people over the years. He had been a source of comfort and strength to others when they needed him. He had always been there with a kind word and a listening ear. But he must have done something to deserve this bizarre turn of affairs. These things don't just happen.

The problem with Eliphaz's speech is that it contains a modicum of truth. He has a lot of good things to say but he suffers from bad timing and a lousy understanding of reality. He speaks of things he doesn't know. He makes assumptions about things he doesn't understand. He is judging based on the circumstances, but can't see what God sees. He can't even see God working behind the scenes. And isn't that how we all approach the presence of trials and troubles in our lives?

We draw conclusions. We make assumptions. And we pass out words of wisdom like they were so much Valentine's candy. We mix a touch of biblical truth with a little bit of home-spun wisdom and then baste our friends with this toxic marinade of self-righteous piety. Eliphaz was dispensing truth like a doctor handing out prescriptions for a condition he had yet to diagnose; a process that will render perfectly safe drugs potentially deadly. We do that when we reach hasty conclusions about the spiritual condition of others based on circumstances alone. It reminds me of the story in the Gospel of John. Jesus is walking with His disciples and they encounter a man blind from birth. His disciples reveal a lot about their theology when they ask Jesus, "Teacher, why was this man born blind? Was it a result of his own sins or those of his parents?" (John 9:2 NLT). To their surprise, Jesus responded, "It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins, he was born blind so the power of God could be seen in him" (John 9:3 NLT).

The truth is, we don't know what God is doing behind the scenes. We don't know why certain situations are as they are, and if we’re not careful, like Eliphaz we can hastily draw wrong conclusions and hand out poor advice. When Job needed comfort, he got unnecessary conviction. When he needed a listening ear, he got a lecture. Was a lot of what was said true? You bet. But it was misapplied and mistakenly meted out. In his commentary on the book of Job, John Gill says this about Eliphaz's little speech:

"and he ‘said’ not anything by way of condolence or consolation, not pitying Job's case, nor comforting him in his afflicted circumstances, as they required both; but reproaching him as a wicked and hypocritical man, not acting like himself formerly, or according to his profession and principles, but just the reverse: this was a new trial to Job, and some think the sorest of all; it was as a sword in his bones, which was very cutting to him; as oil cast into a fiery furnace in which he now was, which increased the force and fury of it; and as to vinegar an opened and bleeding wound, which makes it smart the more." – John Gill, Exposition on the Entire Bible, the Book of Job

A big part of ministering to others is learning to listen well. Sometimes the greatest form of comfort is silence. But if you're going to say anything at all, maybe we could take notes from the words of Isaiah.

Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you. – Isaiah 35:4-5 NIV

Strengthen, steady, encourage, and point them to God. Lift them up, don't tear them down.

Timely advice is lovely,
    like golden apples in a silver basket.

To one who listens, valid criticism
    is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry.

Trustworthy messengers refresh like snow in summer.
    They revive the spirit of their employer. – Proverbs 25:11-13 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Cost of Giving Advice

17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. – Philemon 1:17-20 ESV

It’s quite easy to give advice to others. In fact, it comes naturally to most of us. Sharing our opinions and providing free counsel to our friends and family members just seem like good things to do. We can even back up our good intentions from the “Good Book.”

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. – Proverbs 11:14 ESV

But even the best counsel, motivated by the best intentions, doesn’t always produce the best outcomes. Telling someone what they ought to do, without providing them any hint as to how to do it, can be demoralizing and even damaging.

Paul was asking Philemon to accept his runaway slave back with open arms. Not only that, but he was also advising Philemon to treat Onesimus as a brother and not as a slave. And everything Paul wrote to Philemon was biblically sound and spiritually appropriate. It was wise counsel coming from a godly and well-meaning friend. And yet, from Philemon’s perspective, it was all “easier said than done.” Paul, under house arrest in Rome and with plenty of time on his hands, could write Philemon a hundred letters full of godly advice on a wide range of topics, but at the end of the day, it was Philemon who would have to turn Paul’s rhetoric into reality. And that was not going to be easy.

And Paul was quite clear in expressing how he expected Philemon to treat Onesimus.

So if you consider me your partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. – Philemon 1:17 NLT

Philemon was to show Onesimus the same courtesy and respect he would extend to Paul if he were to walk in the door. That was a tall order. Paul was asking Philemon to respond in a manner that was antithetical to logic and social protocol. For him to treat any slave with that kind of respect and honor would have been unheard of in civil society. And yet, Paul was asking him to extend this kind of courtesy to a runaway. Remember, Paul told Philemon that Onesimus was “no longer like a slave to you” (Philemon 1:16 NLT). That was easy for Paul to say. But in Philemon’s social circle, everyone would have known that Onesimus was his slave. And when he returned, they would have expected Philemon to deal with him according to Roman law. To not do so would have set a dangerous precedent. If Philemon failed to punish Onesimus for running away, it might encourage other slaves to follow his example. Other slave owners in the community, and possibly in the church, would have viewed his kind and gracious treatment of Onesimus as unacceptable behavior.

And Paul was fully aware of the gravity of his request of Philemon. He knew his request would not be easy to follow, and it could also prove costly. Paul was cognizant of the fact that Onesimus represented a financial investment for Philemon. In the economic system of Rome, Onesimus had a monetary value that was greater than his human worth. He was a commodity whose appraisal was based on his production capacity or resale value. So, when Paul asked Philemon to set Onesimus free, he was asking his friend to take a substantial hit to his bottom line.

But look closely at what Paul wrote next: “If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account” (Philemon 1:18 ESV). You might say that Paul was putting his money where his mouth was. He was backing up his wise words with the promise of action. Paul was personally investing himself in the process of reconciliation between these two men.

When Paul told Philemon, “charge that to my account,” he was essentially saying “impute the debt of Onesimus to me.” It was like saying, “put it on my tab.” Paul was committing himself to make up any financial liability Philemon might face as a result of following his advice. Paul was willingly putting skin in the game. And Paul’s model for this kind of selfless and sacrificial commitment was Jesus.

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. – 2 Corinthians 5:21 NLT

Jesus had come to earth so that He might reconcile sinful men to God. And in order to do so, He took on their debt. He bore their sins on the cross and died the death they deserved to die. And because those who place their faith in Christ enjoy a renewed relationship with God the Father, they have the capacity to view things from a totally new perspective. Consider Paul’s words to the believers in Corinth.

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:16-19 NLT

Philemon and Onesimus had both been reconciled to God through the sacrificial death of Jesus on the cross. But Paul deeply desired to see Philemon and Onesimus reconciled to one another. They had both been set free from slavery to sin and death, and now they could live in newness of life together. And Paul was willing to invest himself in the process of reconciling their differences – even to the point of underwriting the financial debts of Onesimus. 

And Paul made his commitment clear, telling Philemon, “I will repay it” (Philemon 1:19 ESV). And Philemon knew he could trust Paul to keep his word. And Paul added a little extra incentive for Philemon that basically stated, “You owe me.” This should not be viewed as a threat but as a gentle reminder that Philemon owed his new life in Christ to the ministry of Paul. He had sacrificed his life in order to bring the good news of Jesus Christ to Philemon’s community and, as a result, Philemon had been reconciled to God. By placing his faith in Jesus, Philemon’s debt had been paid in full.

Nothing would make Paul happier than to hear that Philemon and Onesimus had been reconciled. And he let Philemon know his decision to receive Onesimus as a brother in Christ would be all the payment he needed.

Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. – Philemon 1:20 ESV

Telling others what they ought to do is easy. But how willing are you to commit yourself to help them follow your advice? What cost are you willing to pay to see that your wise words are followed? Paul was willing to put his money where his mouth was. Are you? Are you committed to walking alongside the ones with whom you freely share your counsel and dedicate your time and resources to see that they have what they need to succeed?

This all reminds me of the story of the chicken and the pig. In debating the degree of their commitment to a typical breakfast of bacon and eggs, the chicken bragged about how some brave chicken willingly made provision for the eggs. But the pig responded by pointing out that while the breakfast required the chicken’s participation, it demanded a pig’s total commitment. Paul wasn’t content to simply wise counsel. He was totally committed to seeing that it was followed, regardless of the personal cost.

Paul could have easily said to Philemon what he wrote to the believers in Philippi.

But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. – Philippians 2:17 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Good Advice.

Proverbs 12

“The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.” ­– Proverbs 12:26 NLT

Do people ever turn to you for advice? Does anyone ever seek your counsel? If so, what do you tell them? If they listen to you, will things go well for them? Or would they be better off finding another source of input?

Sometimes knowing what to say to those who come to you can be a real challenge. Our friends, family members and coworkers can often present us with some difficult problems to solve. They come to us wanting our wisdom on matters of real importance, and more often than not, we find ourselves stumped as to what to say. We aren't always real sure what to tell them to do. And in many cases, no advice may be the best advice we can give them. Admitting to them that we don't know what they should do just might be the most honest and loving thing we can do. Because as the verse above says, "The godly give good advice to their friends." Notice the qualifier: good. It doesn't say, "The godly give advice to their friends." No, they give good advice. Actually, there is some debate as to exactly what this verse means. It has been translated a number of different ways and been given a variety of different meanings. The New American Standard Bible reads, "The righteous is a guide to his neighbor." The Bible In Basic English puts it this way: "The upright man is a guide to his neighbour." The New International Version gives it a slightly different twist: "A righteous man is cautious in friendship." The Hebrew word has the meaning of spying out, searching, or doing reconnaissance. It seems to be saying that the godly does his homework before giving advice to his friend. He takes the time to find out how to do something before he tells someone else what to do. There is no flippancy or casualness to his advice. He takes what he is about to say seriously. He wants to make sure that whatever he tells his friend will get them where they need to go and not lead them astray.

Now think about how much advice we give in a given day – to our kids, friends, spouses, coworkers. We are quick to respond to requests for counsel, but do we spy out, search and do the reconnaissance necessary to ensure that our counsel is sound? Do we quote verses out of context or proof text passages in an effort to tell others something that sounds spiritual? It is so easy to tell someone going through difficulty that "all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28). We drop verses on them like little hand grenades, not stopping to think if that is what they need to hear at that moment. Just because it is Scripture does not mean that it is appropriate for the moment. Sometimes we need to stop quoting and start listening. We need to keep our counsel to ourselves and simply lovingly listen to what the other person has to say. The key to this passage is that the godly person gives GOOD advice. It is well-timed, well-thought out, based on the wisdom of God, and proven to be beneficial. And the only way that you and I can give that kind of advice is if we have been spending time with God. We must have spent time with the Wise One if we want to give good, solid, wise advice to others. Because if our counsel is not from God, it will always lead others astray. Every day, well-meaning Christian friends give out bad advice. They tell individuals struggling with their marriages that God just wants them to be happy. They counsel wives to leave their husbands. They counsel husbands so that they reach faulty conclusions about their commitment to their marriage. They tell young people to reject the counsel of their parents because they are not believers. And they do all of this while quoting Scripture and bathing their advice in prayer. But more often than not, they're wrong. They end up leading others astray. Giving counsel is serious business. Helping guide others is a great privilege and a huge responsibility. It is not something we should take lightly. So the next time someone comes to you for advice, think before you speak. Pray before you pontificate. Admit your own ignorance. Better to give no advice than bad advice. Tell them you need time to pray, think, and explore God's Word because you give an answer. A quick answer may be the wrong answer. The godly give GOOD advice.

Father, thanks for this very timely reminder. It is so easy to dish out advice like candy. We flippantly throw out our words of wisdom without really thinking about whether we know what we're talking about. We don't think about the damage we may be doing or how we may be leading that person astray with our words. Make us more reflective before we respond. May we seek to be truly wise before we try to come off that way. Amen.

The Call of the Wise.

Proverbs 1

“How long, you simpletons, will you insist on being simpleminded? How long will you mockers relish your mocking? Come and listen to my counsel. I'll share my heart with you and make you wise.” – Proverbs 1:22-23 NLT

In these verses, God, personified as wisdom, calls out to mankind, inviting them to come to Him for wisdom. He specifically targets two different types of fool: The simple fool and the scorning fool. They represent two different extremes in foolish behavior. The simple fool is someone who, like a child, lacks basic common sense. They don't know right from wrong and are prone to make unwise choices because they just don't know any better. The scorning fool is further down the road in their foolish behavior and have learned to despise all authority in their lives. They actually enjoy their foolish behavior, defend it and reject anyone who tries to convict them about it. They mock those who would counsel them to change. They refuse to accept correction and visually disdain anyone who attempts to point them in the right direction. They "relish" their mocking.

The answer for both of these individuals is the same. They need God in their lives. They need to listen to His counsel and apply His principles to their lives. The simple fool needs to wake up and realize that he is simpleminded. He is an easy target for the enemy and has a tendency to have a simplified outlook on life. That's perfectly acceptable for a small child, but there comes a time when we are to grow out of our childish ways. The scorning fool actually enjoys his mocking ways. He has convinced himself that he is right and everyone else, including God, is wrong. They both hate knowledge. They prefer life as it is, doing what is right in their own eyes. But God calls out to them, offering to share His heart with them. He offers wisdom in place of foolishness. Life in place of a slow march toward death.

But in spite of God's patient, persistent calls, they have refused to come. They paid no attention. They ignored His advice. They reject the correction He offered. So God warns them" "So I will laugh when you are in trouble. I will mock you when disaster overtakes you – when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster engulfs you like a cyclone, and anguish and distress overwhelm you" (Proverbs 1:26-17 NLT). There will come a time when they frantically search for God and cry out to Him for help, but they will not find Him. Why? Because they did not want what He had to offer. They hated knowledge and chose not to fear Him (Proverbs 1:29). They rejected His advice and ignored His loving correction. So God will allow them to "eat the bitter fruit of living their own way, choking on their own schemes" (Proverbs 1:31 NLT). We've all seen it happen. Perhaps we've seen it happen to ourselves. We've allowed our foolishness to result in pain and disappointment, all because we refused to accept God's offer of wisdom. We have refused to admit out need for Him. He reminds us that "all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm" (Proverbs 1:33 NLT). God cries out daily to all of us who struggle with being simpleminded and scornful. He pleads with us to listen to His wisdom. He offers us His heart. But too often we insist on being simpleminded and relish our own mocking. How long will we continue? How long until we listen? How long until we learn?

Father, You are all the wisdom I need in this world. You have all I need to live this life and yet I so often prefer my own foolishness over Your wisdom. I choose to live unwisely and then wonder why I suffer so much hurt and heartache because of the foolish things I end up doing. Open my eyes and help me see that it is YOU I need. Amen.

Criticism Is Critical.

Proverbs 13

“If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept correction, you will be honored.” – Proverbs 13:18 NLT

Counsel, criticism, and correction. The Proverbs talk about all three and remind us that those who are wise willingly and gladly accept all three equally. But the reality for most of us is that we, at best, tolerate one of them and despise the other two. We will listen to counsel if we think it will benefit us or if it doesn't vary too much from our preconceived plans. But criticism and correction are two separate matters. Nobody likes to be criticized. And few of us truly enjoy correction. But again, the wise are those who have learned the value of all three. Even a child can come to the place where they understand that their parents' discipline is beneficial. "A wise child accepts a parent's discipline, a mocker refuses to listen to correction" (Proverbs 13:1 NLT). Over in the book of Colossians, Paul tells us that, as believers, we have a responsibility to admonish or warn one another as part of our corporate experience as believers. "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom" (Colossians 3:16 NIV). We all have blind spots, those areas of our lives that we're unable to see, and it takes a loving brother or sister in Christ to point them out so we can confess them and be cleansed from them. Those who are wise take counsel and correction equally. They see the benefit of both. "People who despise advice are asking for trouble" (Proverbs 13:13 NLT). "If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace" (Proverbs 13:18 NLT). Pretty serious stuff. Yet think about how often we reject the counsel, correction and criticism of others. We may accept it with a smile, but inside we can be angry and resentful. We may even avoid that person in the future, refusing to allow them to speak into our lives. When we do, we are the losers. We miss out on the benefits God has intended. Even when someone criticizes us unfairly or wrongly, we should learn to accept it patiently and lovingly, understanding that God knows our heart.

At the end of the day, our unwillingness to accept counsel, correction or criticism is all about pride. Admitting our flaws, acknowledging our ignorance, or accepting our need for correction is hard on our egos. But the wise rather increase in wisdom than worry about their pride. They would prefer to become more godly than simply pamper their egos with false flattery and pride-producing praise. Wise people know that it takes a true friend to tell you what everyone else is afraid to tell you. Wise people know that ignorance is NOT bliss and what you don't know CAN hurt you. Wise people know that criticism may hurt, but not as much as hypocrisy or lies disguised as praise. Wise people don't just tolerate counsel, they seek it. They depend on it. Counsel, criticism and correction. Three invaluable resources in the toolbox of the wise. You can't live well without them.

Father, thank You for those You have placed in my life who love me enough to be honest with me. Thank You for giving them the ability to see what I can't see and the determination to speak into my life revealing my flaws, sharing their wisdom, and lovingly correcting my mistakes. Give me an increasing love for godly counsel, correction and criticism in my life. Amen.

The Value of Godly Counsel.

 Proverbs 6

"Wherever you walk, they’ll guide you; whenever you rest, they’ll guard you; when you wake up, they’ll tell you what’s next." – Proverbs 6:22 MSG

There is an art to listening. All of us can hear, but not all of us know how to listen well. And the few of us who do know how to listen sometimes struggle with doing something with what we hear – especially when it has to do with obeying the wise counsel we receive from others. This is especially true of young people. Which is why so many of the Proverbs are addressed to sons. Solomon wants his children to know the value of listening to godly counsel. In Proverbs 6 the assumption is that the commands and instructions given by the father and mother are godly and worth listening to. The son is told to obey the commands of his father and to not neglect the instructions of his mother. He is to value them and personally apply them to his life, keeping them in his heart and keeping them close like a valuable necklace or an expensive ring tied to a cord and hung around his neck.

So what's the value of godly counsel? It can provide guidance life's journey. Wise counsel is experienced counsel. It is based on the wisdom of God and has been proven out in real life. Wise counsel tends to speak from experience. It is able to say, "Do as I do, not just as I say." The godly counsel of parents and other well-traveled Christ-followers can save us a lot of pain, trouble, and wasted time from taking wrong turns and ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time. But not only does godly counsel guide, it guards and protects us – even in our sleep. Even when we're inactive, godly counsel makes sure we're save and sound. We can rest easy and sleep well knowing that we have made the right choices and followed the right path in life. We don't have to live anxiously or nervously waiting for the other shoe to drop and the walls of our life to cave in. We can know that we're on the right path and headed in the right direction. Finally, godly counsel speaks to us. It's amazing how the wise advise of others can crop up and pop into our minds at just the right moment. When we wake up in the morning, we have a repository of wise advise to which we can turn. It speaks to us. It counsels us. It prepares us for the day ahead. Like a lamp, it lights our path and shows us the right way to go. It keeps us on the straight and narrow and out of the high weeds of life.

Wise counsel is like good, nutritious food. It not only feeds us for the moment, but it equips us for the journey. It gives us the strength, energy and stamina to face all that lies ahead. It encourages, educates and equips us for life in this world. Without it we are lost, vulnerable to attack, and clueless as to what we should do and which way we should go.

Father, give me an insatiable desire for wisdom. Let me seek it from Your Word and also from Your people. Bring those into my life who have walked the path before me and who have strayed away but returned. Let me learn from their mistakes, grow from their experiences, and be guided by their wisdom. Amen