Nobody Knows Me Better.
Psalms 138-139 – Day 1
"The Lord will work out his plans for my life — for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever." – Psalm 138:8 NLT
There are times when I don't even know myself. I do and say things that surprise even me. I can never know for sure how I will react to a given situation. I may respond in calmness and patience one day, then explode in anger and impatience the next. I have a limited understanding of what motivates me and why I act the way I do. Sometimes words come out of my mouth that catch me off guard. I can be disappointed in my own response to people and circumstances. There are those moments when I can appear as a stranger – even to myself.
But God knows me. He knows me better than I know myself. David understood this unbelievable characteristic about God. He knew that God was all-knowing, all-powerful, and always present. He knew that God was always there, and that God knew every single detail of his life, including what he was thinking and what he was going to say, even before the words came out of his mouth. David also understood that God had a plan for his life and that God was working that plan each and every day – regardless of what David's circumstances might have looked like. All of this news about God can be both encouraging and scary. The fact that God knows everything there is to know about us can be a bit intimidating or we can find it comforting. David was prone to the latter. He understood that along with God's divine attributes of omniscience (He knows everything), omnipotence (He is all-powerful), and omnipresence (He is everywhere at once), God was also all-loving, completely faithful, and a God who keeps all of His promises all of the time. So the fact that God knew all of David's thoughts didn't scare him, it comforted him. David was able to say, "O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me" (Psalm 139:1 NLT). That thought caused David to say, "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand" (Psalm 139:6 NLT). David might not have fully comprehended the reality of God's all-knowing, all-powerful presence in his life, he DID appreciate it. David knew that God had created him – he was a byproduct of God's imagination and creative capabilities. He was not a mistake or an act of chance. "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed" (Psalm 139:16 NLT). What an amazing thought.
This understanding of God's intimate relationship with him caused David to invite God to do something that for many of us sounds a bit risky. It sounds like an invitation that could end up producing some less-than-satisfactory results. But keep in mind, David knew that God loved him and had a plan for his life. He trusted God. There was nothing that God did not know about his life. There was nothing that David thought or did that was hidden from God. So he asked God to "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life" (Psalm 1139:23-24 NLT). David was asking God to reveal to him what only God knew about him. David was asking God to show him things about his life he was incapable of seeing or even knowing. As men, we can't really know our hearts. He can't fully understand our motives. We are blinded by pride and self-righteousness, and we can deceive ourselves into thinking we are really better than we are. So David goes to the one source that can see past the facade and look into the inner recesses of our hearts. He asks God, the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-loving God to do an MRI of his life and reveal the results. David knew that God loved him and had a plan for his life. But David also knew that he was a man who was prone to sin. He knew his heart was not to be trusted. He knew that he was incapable of really knowing what was going on in his heart. So he asked God to examine, test, and prove him. He asked God to point out anything and everything that was an offense to Him. Scary? Yes. Risky? Not really. David was simply learning what God already knew. David was tapping into God's limitless understanding and relying on God's unfailing love for him.
Father, You love me. And what's amazing is that You love me even though You know everything there is to know about me. There is nothing I can hide from You. I can't fool you with my pious activities or acts of religious pretense. I can't fake faith in front of You. You know me just as I am and yet You love me anyway. Give me the heart of David, that I might ask You to search me, know my heart, test me, know the cause of all my anxious thoughts, and point out everything in my life that offends You. The sooner I see the truth about myself, the sooner I can confess my sins and get back on Your path for my life. Amen
Ken Miller Grow Pastor & Minister to Men kenm@christchapelbc.org